Yveslover6969 sent you 50.00$ : I love you so much baby you looked so ing y in your live last night 

ChuunessGracious sent you 1.89$: Happy holidays Yves! Now me silly please 

SZAFAN sent you 150.00$: I’m begging you...please I just….please you’re my dream bae I’d do anything I don’t care about all these other girls I just wanna be your day one. Your main chick baby please 

Shoving more chips into , Ha Sooyoung clicks through more donations, more notifications of people asking her to them, and lots of lots of new subscribers. She’s been doing this onlyfans stuff for a little under a year now. Still, she has no idea how she got so popular, let alone her being anonymous. 

Guest126 Sent 20.00$: Damn you fine as how much for a private show? 

Sooyoung grabs her bag of hot chips and upturns it to shake all the crumbs into . her lips for any remaining flavor she types out onto her keyboard with her cheeto fingers. One band to have me all to yourself. Sooyoung loves the money, but she likes the attention too. Almost five thousand people watching her do the minimum every night, sending her money to get the very least in return.

She gets a message back quickly laughing out loud at the response,  you crazy, you’re not that y. Rolling her eyes she thanks the random person for the money since there’s no refunds at this point.

Sooyoung knows she’s that y, or she wouldn’t be making almost eight-thousand every month. However, she’s gotta go live tonight, which sometimes is her favorite thing to do if she’s feeling it, or the worst since most of her fans are either rabid or creepy. 

Cleaning her hands off she gets the essentials ready, Sooyoung will do certain things...but it all comes with a price. Though most of the time she’ll just do whatever she feels like doing. She’s got rules for this. It’s almost like a game to her.

Grabbing her burgundy ski mask, she pulls it over her head carefully, so she doesn’t mess up her hair. Adjusting it properly she touches up on her makeup and starts to put on her little outfit everyone likes to see her in. 

She makes sure she looks perfect in the mirror.

It’s really the only thing she cares about.

Logging in on her account, Sooyoung starts to click around getting her show ready. She sees all these other girls on air and while sometimes Sooyoung snoops around, since she likes to be nosey, she rarely stays to watch the whole thing. No one’s ever got her attention on here, it’s always the same girls doing the same thing. 

Now comes the hardest part, going live. It takes an enormous amount of effort for Sooyoung to do anything. But she’s gotta chase the bag some way. With her bottom lip jutting out and a bit of a whine, she clicks live and she watches as the reflection of herself pops onto the screen. 

Her identity is concealed by the ski mask and Sooyoung makes sure to change her voice up so nobody recognizes it. She pitches it lower and speaks at a slower pace. “There’s all my babies.” Forcing a smile onto her face, hundreds of viewers piling in, she waves and greets some of them who are already flooding the comment section.

Leaning forward she grabs her first essential, a blunt that hasn’t been completely rolled yet. She’ll only smoke when she’s not really feeling it, making the whole thing go by much smoother. As she the blunt wrap she makes sure to look into the camera, hooded eyelids and all. The comments flood with the same theme. 

Guest950: my god I wish I was that wrap… 

DaddyYubin: can you do that to my ?  

Sooyoung up-plays the theatrics of her tongue, although she thinks it’s kinda silly looking. After finishing it up, she hits it while continuing to read all the comments. 

Yvesissnatchies: Now why do you waste all your money on weed? 

Taking another hit she likes the comment and replies, “you mean all your money?” The chat fills with laughing emojis and Sooyoung covers , she was for real smiling and she didn’t think any of these people deserved to see that. 

Yvesissnatchies: oh she a comedian 🙄

After she’s all comfortable she stretches out, showing off her body that she’s worked hard for. Well...that her metabolism has worked hard for. “What you all want me to do?” The chat is split between her beating off and showing off her strap. 

Sooyoung decides for herself since she has no desire to show tonight. Pulling out her favorite essential, with red leather straps and marble pink , she starts to shift into it. Her viewers are already going crazy with donations. Sooyoung doesn’t know why they love it but it doesn’t really matter to her.

“Who wants this ?” Sooyoung tries in a serious tone, but deep down she wants to crack up realizing how ridiculous she sounds. “I can go all night and all day so I need someone to keep up with me.” 

Hundreds of messages containing pleas and crying emojis reflect off of Sooyoung’s gaze. Slowly, she struts over to her window which is directly behind her desk, tip-toeing up to change the curtains. The hoops scrap across the metal rod and she lets her eyes dance across her room as it’s shrouded in a red tint from the dark maroon sheet. 

Her breath slows in just the slightest, really getting into character. Sooyoung thinks the reason she gets by with so little effort is that she’s still this mystery. Her face has never been revealed, her eyes are barely visible, always dark with either desire or annoyance and her lips are framed perfectly by the mask. Turning she makes her way back over to the front of the camera, hips swaying, her hair flowing all the way down to her waist. 

Once she’s back into full view she reaches for some baby oil. Her fans double up the comments, begging her to do what she’s already planned on. Poking her chest out and her stomach in, her muscles go taunt creating a pose that earns her more than enough drooling emojis. Sooyoung turns her head away and tilts the bottle of baby oil up. It slowly drips onto her body, between her s and the sculpture of her tummy. 

Taking her hand she rubs the oil into her soft skin, as she does so. Her body shimmers the color red, from the slickness of the oil and the tint from the sunset hitting the sheet over her window. Sooyoung doesn’t like to be like the other camgirls, in dull light, full view of everything, nothings a mystery, nothing left to the imagination. 

Sooyoung likes to do it in her own definition of beauty, in elegance and darkness. Where she’s a different image to every single person viewing it. No one has the same thought of her, she’s not the same person to anyone.

Hovering over her desk she blows a kiss into the camera before sitting back into her chair, sprawled out and lazy like. Looking at her image, which is all grainy from her poor quality webcam, she leans further into her chair. “I wish I had somebody to tonight,” Sooyoung mumbles out and while usually she lies about those things, she’s feeling a little lonely and maybe her words hold truth. 

Hanging one arm off of the chair the other goes to work on the strap, it slowly to put on a show for her viewers. Sooyoung tilts her head back and closes her eyes, going tight when she swallows at the image popping up in her head. 

Some girl, no face, grinding on top of her, Sooyoung can almost feel the heat from the imaginary girl’s skin. She can almost taste the salt when she imagines at the base of the girl’s neck. Letting out a quiet moan she snaps her eyes down where her hand was tightly gripping the leather around her waist.

Sooyoung chews on her lip for a second, “ah it.” Her best shows are when she’s and well Sooyoung hasn’t felt this needy in a long time. The light in her room is waning each second and soon it’s just dark, the light from her screen glowing off her body. “Whoever sends the biggest donation chooses how I get off.” She was hoping whatever someone came up with makes her finish fast, because Sooyoung was feeling a bit impatient. 

Just as she’s slipping the leather down her thighs, along with her lace underwear that were glued to her hips, she starts to read the comments. There’s just one tiny itsy weeny problem, no one was sending her donations. Actually no one was paying attention to her. Sooyoung thanks the ski-mask for hiding most of her emotions, but drops at the comment. Everyone was reacting to this particular user by the name of soulcaliburxxx. 

Everyone was praising this user while Sooyoung was left sensitive...from her problem, and a little bitter. “Who the is soulcalibur?” Shifting her underwear back on a bit un-ladylike, she stares into the screen.. 

soulcaliburxxx: I bet you’re real pretty under that mask 

Sooyoung reads the comment out loud at a slow pace, her voice husky with want and anger. Each word she mumbles gets quieter and quieter until the final one. Sooyoung's lip twitches into a frown. Her tummy twists with embarrassment but the thing that really pisses her off is that she blushes underneath the mask at the offhand compliment.

soulcaliburxxx sent 2.00$: I want you to yourself thinking of me and I wanna see the on your fingers when you’re done baby 

Sooyoung’s chest tightens and her situation down below gets much worse, but god forbid if she allows her dignity to be spat on like this. “For two dollars?” Sooyoung waits for everyone...just anyone to one up the donation, but her subscribers seem to be onboard with whatever this weirdo wants. She’s so humiliated, “for two dollars are you for real?”

Soulcaliburxxx : if I like it I’ll give you more, be real nasty for me 

“Oh you, I’m not doing , your name childish too.” Sooyoung argues into the camera before clicking off the live stream. Making sure she was in the clear she pulls her mask off in a fit of a tantrum. That prick even used one of her signature lines, be nasty for me. 

Sooyoung gets ready for bed although she’s still frustrated after that particular user blew her. She thinks maybe she was being trolled or just made fun of. The worst part is the things that person said got her worked up even more.

“Childish name.”

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Chaewon finds her, strangely enough, reading. Sooyoung’s known to a person who’s best as doing literally nothing at all. Reading is even a strenuous activity for the recent college drop out. “Girl, what happened?” 

Sooyoung fiddles with the course paper. Okay, it was a lie, she wasn’t reading, but the blur of ink was comforting. The girl who’s she called friend for several years sits on the edge of her bed, shivering from the cold seeping in from her open window. 

Maybe she’s insane for letting in a fresh breeze on a day like this, december 19th, the coldest day of this year yet, but Sooyoung needed something to numb her from last night’s humiliation. “Nothing.” Sooyoung rolls around in her blanket, she's so comfortable that not even hercules could pull her from the position.

“Nothing? Sooyoung you’re reading.” Chaewon points out as if that’s something abnormal and tries to crawl her way into Sooyoung’s blankets too. Sooyoung reluctantly lets her in before shifting the book in front of her face so Chaewon can’t read her expression. 

Sometimes, Sooyoung swears that she’s psychic, “so? It’s a good book.” 

Chaewon’s icy feet taps against hers and Sooyoung whines, kicking them away. Her precious shield is shoved down, “it’s a french textbook ya know from the class you failed.” Sooyoung whines louder than before and lifts it back up, as long as she ignores Chaewon and stares at the word Échec (french for failure) she would be fine. “Let’s get our nails done and visit Hyejoo maybe it’ll help with whatever’s clearly bothering you. ” 

Her shield of paperback 7th Edition is forgotten.

Sooyoung gets ready as Chaewon types away on her phone, the obnoxious noise making her struggle to get her eyeliner right. As soon as the frantic texting stops, Chaewon blasts a song instead. She’s almost ready, she just needs to get one last thing. 

“Oh my god, can’t you just get a bank account?” Chaewon asks all snobby like, “I mean someone could come and rob you like it’s nothing.” Sooyoung continues to type in her long, overly complicated code into her tiny safe where she keeps all her savings in cash. 

It opens with a cute beep Sooyoung hears so often since she likes holding cash and a click of the latch. She grabs a stack and holds it up to her ear as if it’s a phone, “but it’s so fun having it like this, besides I don’t trust the banks, they steal like crazy aaand you never gonna see me with an overdraft charge.” Chaewon rolls her eyes as Sooyoung smiles at her with all teeth, she likes messing with the younger girl who worries way too much.

“But what about the robbing?”

Sooyoung sighs and reaches for something underneath her desk. Pulling out Chaewon screams and ducks for cover when Sooyoung points a gun at her. It’s a small glock, easy to use, and cute since she had it customized in her taste. “Relax I know how to use it.” Chaewon, who was still hiding behind her closet door, refuses to come out. “So if somebody try to rob me, boom, they’re getting shot.” 

Stuffing the gun back into place Sooyoung fishes Chaewon out of the closet, the girl still traumatized for being aimed at. 

“Come on, our uber here.”

                   ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Chaewon’s nails are a homage to hello kitty, entirely too long and impossible to look at since they’re so gawky. Sooyoung’s are simple, black, long, except for her middle and ring finger on her right hand which were only painted black and clipped shorter than they already were. The nail tech and Chaewon gave her an incredulous look when she asked for it specifically. 

Nails or no nails, today is too cold for them to be out. Sooyoung regrets only wearing so little. She stands shivering waiting for the pedestrian light to switch so she and Chaewon could make their way across the street, where the bakery that Hyejoo worked at appeared warm.

Her eyes slide over to Chaewon, whose teeth weren’t chattered like hers was. “Told you it was cold.” Instead of biting back with the same tone, Sooyoung snuggles up to the girl in the large fleece sweater and even bigger puffy jacket. 

“You’re like a little marshmallow.” Sooyoung murmurs into her sleeve, the fabric cold against her already frostbit lips. 

Chaewon grimaces like Sooyoung’s the worst thing that’s ever stumbled into her life, “yeah-yeah get off me you’re heavy.” Sooyoung doesn’t listen, only pressing her rosy cheek into her best friend's shoulder. 

The walk across the street is more of a jog, Sooyoung excited to get out of the cold and Chaewon excited to see the girl she’s been crushing on forever.

Right when they’re at the door, snow from yesterday drizzles down from the alcove. Some of it drips onto Sooyoung’s head, she slips out of Chaewon’s embrace and stares up at the red covering. Some more of the icy water drips down, splattering onto Sooyoung’s nose. She subconsciously scrunches it up from nature’s assault, and then it decides to really with her.

Chaewon gasps, as an entire pile of ice and snow lands on top of Sooyoung’s head, freezing her to her core. Sooyoung’s never felt something so cold. And if yesterday was embarrassing, today was a nightmare. She forgets about soulcaliburxxx, her new enemy was water below freezing.

She shuffles inside with Chaewon’s guidance. Her shoulders slump as the now melting snow seeps into her clothes. Sooyoung can’t even enjoy the warmth of the bakery. The bitter chill ruining her entire mood. 

Chaewon seems to notice but goes on about her business anyways, calling out to Hyejoo who was icing some cinnamon rolls. Sooyoung follows her after being asked three times. The pair greet each other lovingly and Sooyoung becomes even more bitter...and not from the cold this time.

“Hyejoo this is so cute, you look so cute I’m gonna pass out EEEE !!” Chaewon squeals and pokes at Hyejoo’s Santa hat. The whole bakery was decorated with holiday spirit and the employees were also thrown into mix, Sooyoung believes this is a case of torture and if she were a lawyer or whatever she’d sue the place for being detrimental to everyone’s mental and emotional health. She couldn't imagine working somewhere like this.

Sooyoung averts her gaze when they kiss over the counter, Hyejoo glancing around to check if her boss was near before doing so. Sooyoung internally heats up at the smooching noise and baby talk, it was gross...and endearing at the same time. “Hey Sooyoung we’re hiring you know.” Glaring at the girl, Hyejoo quickly understands it was the stupidest thing she could have said at the moment, “Uh actually...we’re not hiring anymore.” 

“She doesn’t need a job. You should see that silly safe of hers.”

“Oh she's still on the internet hoeing around?”

Clenching her fist she blurts out, “it’s not hoeing around how many times do I-”

“I was just kidding Sooyoung, chill.” Sooyoung hates Hyejoo’s laid back demeanor, it irks her like none other. “Why don’t you all order something I’m about to take my break.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes as the two share another kiss before Hyejoo disappears into the back. Chaewon drags her to the line where only one person was ordering. Sooyoung has to inform Chaewon once against that she hates anything sweet, “I don’t want anything.”

“What? No come on you do this everytime just get a coffee or something I’ll buy.” Sooyoung crosses her arms and sulks behind Chaewon who leans onto the counter right after the previous customer leaves. The tiny girl points at the menu, ordering as slow as she can, Sooyoung gets sick after hearing the amount of sugar the girl was going to consume.

Once Chaewon is done with her monster order, it’s Sooyoung’s turn. Even though she’s repeated her order inside her head at least a hundred times by now she still gets anxious, afraid that she’ll say something wrong. Just one black iced coffee, that’s literally all you have to say. Chaewon hands her a credit card before skipping off to some table. 

Sooyoung’s left alone at the counter. The guy standing there seems friendly enough, even though it’s probably just his customer service smile that’s annoyingly hospitable. Sooyoung plays back Chaewon’s everlasting warning in her head, be nice and everything will be fine. Be a and it’ll bite you in the . Sooyoung doesn’t believe in karma, but the statement holds the truth. Her better days come when she’s a decent person, her worst days are when she’s decided she’d be the biggest brat that’s ever walked the earth.

“Hi how can I help you?

Sooyoung chokes up, “um hi-I.” 

Mr. Elf (fake ears, tiny hat) drops his professional smile when a hand taps on his shoulder. He’s pretty tall so Sooyoung can’t see who’s behind him. He fully turns and nods at some whispered out command. He scoots away, his form retreating to the back, when Sooyoung’s met with a horrible situation.

Pretty eyes, one of Sooyoung’s biggest weaknesses, and god they’re so pretty, especially the how dark makeup frames them and black hair, so black almost blue in loose waves, like silk. Her height, maybe taller than Sooyoung? And probably the worst frown she’s ever seen on a girl. “Don’t be late again.” The new girl nods, her lips still in a deep scowl. “And put them on.” Miss late for work rolls her eyes and unclutches some reindeer antlers out of her hand and stuffs them onto her head. 

The manager, tiny and angry starts to tap on the counter, in a rhythm. Like she was completely over this girl who just showed up. “I’m waiting, she’s waiting.” The manager acknowledges Sooyoung even though she felt like she didn’t exist with the tension between these two. 

“Hi, how-”

“Not with that pissy attitude, I’m gonna need a smile too.” The manager barks before turning to Sooyoung, her jaw tensing before she switches her expression into something friendlier, “sorry about this ma’am just trying to teach her some etiquette.” 

Sooyoung doesn’t react, too afraid to do so. The girl in front of her is clearly embarrassed. Her cheeks red and her eyes full of tears and anger. A smile forms quickly though and Sooyoung knows it came from a deep pit of strength. “Hi, how can I help you?” 

Going to say her order quickly she’s interrupted by the manager, “if you’re going to humiliate me, prepare to get it right back.” The manager leaves and doesn’t take the awkwardness with her.

Now it’s just them, and the girl’s smile fades as quick as it was formed. Thankfully there’s no eye contact. The girl staring blankly at the register. 

Sooyoung’s head goes blank, “um...what’s good here?”

She regrets it, because now those black eyes swirling with vexation are locked with hers. “What’s good here?” Sooyoung nods, bringing the stare down as soon as she can. “Jesus,” the girl whispers under her breath before letting out a quiet yet airy laugh, “I don’t know, the chocolate cake maybe?”

“Have you had it?”

You just order! 

“I don’t know if you’re trying to piss me off more, but I’d rather you order something and get out of my face.” Sooyoung’s brows raise to the ceiling at the girl’s vicious tone. Sooyoung glances behind her, seeing a man and his daughter waiting patiently. 

If she thought a pile of snow landing on top of her was cold...then this was pure ice...ice? Oh ice! Sooyoung finally remembers her order. “Iced americano.” She glances up at the girl and shoves the card Chaewon gave her out onto the counter. The girl is giving her a look that’s totally saying you’re ordering ice coffee when it’s in the single digits outside. 

Thankfully the girl says nothing more and gives Sooyoung the receipt and card back. Sooyoung, with her tail tucked between her legs, goes to join Hyejoo and Chaewon who was whispering in her direction. 

“Damn was Haseul that mad? I mean you even look scared?” Sooyoung sits down, cowering in her seat.

She refuses to turn back around, she can almost feel those eyes boring holes into her. “That’s Haseul?” Sooyoung asks in a tiny voice.

“Nah Haseul the manager, that’s Jinsoul, she’s pretty chill most of the time but she got a bad temper.” 

Jinsoul, so miss late to work has a name. Sooyoung likes it, fits her whole style. “Well she was kinda rude to me.” 

Hyejoo and Chaewon share a look, “was you a ?” Sooyoung goes to argue her case but is interrupted by someone shouting out their order. “Not it!” She loses...for the third time today when Hyejoo and Chaewon put their finger up to their nose before she does.

Grumbling the chair scraps across the floor and she stomps over to the counter. Of course the same girl was there. Jinsoul doesn’t say anything as she stacks a tower of sugary food into a large plate. Sooyoung’s spared a glance, “I got your coffee too, just wait right here.” Jinsoul’s voice is softer than before, losing its edge and bite. She’s calmed down since the little tussle with her manager but it doesn’t mean Sooyoung’s forgotten about what was said to her. 

Jinsoul returns with a coffee, and reaches it out to Sooyoung. Grabbing it from the bottom her hand brushes across Jinsoul’s and she can smell the candy scented lotion the girl uses. It’s dizzying. “You got it?”

“Yes you can let go.”

Jinsoul narrows her eyes dangerously and Sooyoung swears if she knew it wouldn’t make her tired she’d jump across the counter and beat this es . But she’d rather save her energy for something worth it. Jinsoul’s glare lowers to their fingers and they widen once she sees Sooyoung’s nails, “oh.”

Oh so besides being a , she’s a homophobe too. Or wait...how does she even-

Jinsoul lets go of the coffee and Sooyoung’s so preoccupied with trying to figure out how the girl notices such a tiny detail, the plastic container slips right through her palm. 

It busts and Sooyoung’s designer jeans are now stained with black coffee and milk. Jinsoul has her hand over , shocked, a little scared, “I’m so...”

She takes a deep and earthing sigh. “I’m going home.” Turning her back on the biggest she’s ever met...and maybe the prettiest. 

Sooyoung goes home.

                     ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Sooyoung’s not angry, she’s just very tired and trying to figure out some ways that she’ll never ever have to step foot outside her apartment again. She just wants to crawl in a hole and never do anything again. That girl, Jinsoul, was having a horrible day. So horrible, it’s horribleness seeped into Sooyoung’s day.

Or maybe it was the other way around, Sooyoung was already having a bad day and-

They were both having a bad day.

Sooyoung doesn’t want to drink, smell it, or even see coffee for at least three months. She doesn’t want to see a pretty girl for five. So she will be a hermit until spring, then she’ll go out and socialize with the rest of the world like a normal person. 

For now though, she’ll lay in her bed and think about that moment again and again. She doesn’t know why she always obsesses over moments like these. Anything that ever inconveniences Sooyoung gets glued to her mind and this time it just so happened to be a girl that was so attractive it hurts. 

“Oh me.” Sooyoung grumbles to herself, her room dark besides the night light that gives off a soft glow of orange. Throwing her elbow over her eyes she tries to think of everything but that embarrassing moment at the bakery. Everything but her .

She ignores Chaewon and Hyejoo’s messages. But her phone buzzes with a notification from somewhere else. Sooyoung doesn’t bother to even look.

One new message from soulcaliburxxx

Across the city, in some run down apartment shared by three friends and a single baby, another girl lays in her mattress without a bed frame. Her elbow across her eyes too, thinking of how big an idiot she was at work today and how that customer probably thought the same but she had already forgotten since her heart was pumping wildly at the thought of her...of Yves. So much that she had to send a message. 

Message sent! To Yvesmakeitnasty 

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I can’t stop thinking about you.