“Miyeon-ah, I’m so frustrated right now. My crush has a girlfriend!” Nana whined the next day. She started crying then, hugging me tightly in her arms.

Not knowing what to do, I sat there beside her silently and patted her shoulder with full of awkwardness. I had no idea how to comfort people. I wasn’t the affectionate type. When people tried hugging me, I would find myself stiffening or pushing them away. I didn’t like hugging or touching people. Well, I didn’t like skinships as much as I disliked red beans.

“What’s wrong, Nana?” Ara came into the class and rushed beside Nana. After listening intently to Nana’s dejected story, she gave Nana a warm hug and helped her out of her seat. “We should go to the toilet, your makeup got messed up by your tears. You don’t want to look ugly, right?”

Nana nodded in agreement and smiled. Then she wiped her tears from her eyes and went to the toilet with Ara. As the two of them walked out of the class, I sat there without a word and let out a light sigh. I felt a little guilty for not going to the toilet with them. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to go, it was because I was afraid that I would only stand there and do nothing while listening to Nana crying her heart out. Ara was better at comforting people. She had no problem showing her affection to the people she loved. When someone needed her shoulder to lean on, she would permit. When someone needed her to listen to them, she would lend her ears. When someone needed help, she would reach out her hands to help them. She was the perfect person to lean on whenever you had problem and I admired her for that.

Why wasn’t I used to being affectionate towards the people I love? I had no idea. Maybe because I felt too comfortable being alone given that I was an only child in my family—plus, my parents were always away from home to work. I always tried to show affection towards my friends but I would end up acting awkward around them. Being affectionate was just not my cup of tea, I guess.

~~v~~

 
“Yo, Sungjong.” I held up a hand and sat down on the bench beside my friend who was reading a book at the time.

Sungjong raised his eyebrows as a sign of greeting and flipped to another page, his eyes never leaving the book. I crossed my legs and stared up at the sky. Then closing my eyes, I took a whiff of the air around me. I smiled to myself as I recognized the familiar scent that was lingering in the air at the time.

“Can you smell the rain?” I questioned him, my eyes still closed. “I can smell it. It’ll rain soon.”

“My father’s here.” Sungjong stated as he placed the book on his lap and looked at me with his serious face.

“You mean Korea?” I lifted an eyebrow.

“Um.” He nodded. “He brought her with him.”

“Then you’ll have to lock yourself in your room when you get back.”

“There’s no other choice. I hate staring at that ’s face. She’s not even worth to glance at.” Sungjong scowled and scratched his head, disheveling his brown hair.

“Well, she’s still your mother after all.”

“Step-mother, Miyeon. She’s not my real mother.” Sungjong corrected me.

“What can you do? You can’t kill her. You’ll just end up in prison if you do that.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and smirked. “But I’ll visit you everyday and cry with my hands touching the glass that separates us from each other.”

Sungjong started laughing then, joined by me. We ended up laughing our heads off until tears formed in our eyes. My stomach was hurting so much so I decided to stop laughing and take a few deep breaths. Sungjong let out a soft chuckle and flipped his fringe as the wind started blowing strongly. The sky had turned gray and the birds were flying around for shelter. It was going to rain soon.

“Thanks for cheering me up.” Sungjong smiled as he got up from the bench, not forgetting his book that was lying on the ground after he’d thrown it away while laughing. “Maybe I’ll treat you for an ice cream next week.”

“Good, keep that promise.” I nudged his elbow, walking beside him as we headed towards our class. “You know, I wish I was a boy. Boys are not as complicated as girls.”

“Beware of your wish, Miyeon-ah. Who knows if it’ll come true?” Sungjong patted my head but then I parried his hand away. I hated it when people try to touch my head.

“Let’s trade gender for one day. You’ll be a girl and I’ll be a boy. Let’s see who cries first and begs to trade back their gender.”

“You’ll lose, there’s no need to bet.” He stuck out his tongue.

“Yeah, right. That’s because you are a girl.” I laughed when he pushed me away.

“How can you laugh so emotionlessly? Can’t you be more sincere, Miyeon-ah?”