ii primose;

the surgeries ultimately fail and sungjoo finds that he’s almost disappointed.

but if he admits to himself – which he doesn’t until long after the apologies, paperwork, and more apologies have grown silent – he's grown accustomed to having the imprints there. running his thumb over the triple dots absentmindedly and being reminded of blonde locks against his cheek and breezy laughter in his ears.

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀

on a whim, he ends up meeting the person he was supposed to be paired with, one evening about three days after the unsuccessful surgeries.

yixuan is broad and warm, though not as much as his wide gummy grin when he takes sungjoo’s outstretched hand and pulls him into a hug before the younger can yelp.

‘I knew the one I would be paired with would be made of tougher stuff,’ yixuan says, patting his shoulder before settling down into the seat at the restaurant table beside sungjoo. his deep voice vibrates between the spaces.

sungjoo blinks before sitting back down. ‘I…I don’t understand.’

‘this must be your first, then, and hopefully last,’ yixuan nods knowingly. ‘I’ve had the unfortunate circumstance of going through the process three times. maybe my family might finally get the message and accept wenhan.’ he takes a glass that a waiter offers him and raises it to sungjoo. ‘only a very strong attachment to one’s soulmate can defy the rerouting. you must have known them a long time, tell me about them, what’s their name?’

sungjoo takes all this in before saying, with a knot in his throat and gazing out onto the waterfront, ‘yibo. his name was yibo. we grew up together.’

yixuan immediately takes on the past tense and sets down his glass. his large hand is warm against sungjoo’s thigh as he whispers, ‘oh, I’m sorry to hear that. but it’ll all work out,’ he gives a light squeeze before leaning back. ‘besides,’ he tosses another grin at sungjoo. ‘I don’t believe in playing with fate.’

‘you don’t believe in free will, then?’

‘oh, no I didn’t say that,’ yixuan says, slightly taken aback. ‘I just believe that when something is truly right, we will know. deep inside.’ he taps his shirt right over his heart for emphasis. ‘but it’s up to us to whether we follow that feeling or not.’

sungjoo nods and he’s distracted when the waiter comes to take their order. dinner and conversation with yixuan is easy and sungjoo wonders how if this would have been his life if the rerouting succeeded, and finds that he would not have minded. there are worse people to be paired with.

but it still lacks the small spark that sungjoo had known before and it’s hard to let go of something perfect with it had once been in his grasp.

dessert comes and goes and yixuan watches sungjoo’s distant expression with a curious expression.

‘so what now?’ he asks, loosening the tie around his neck. ‘you’ve defied the odds, the world is at your fingertips.’

sungjoo chuckles at this, feeling light. ‘I know, I’ll figure it out.’ the smile he gives yixuan is the most genuine one he has given in a long time and he’s grateful for yixuan giving him that.

‘I have a good feeling.’

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀

he stays in seoul and decides to quit his marketing job to pursue his acting, where he finds almost instant success.

like anything, it has its soaring ups and crashing downs, and it's a flashy life to say the least, but he doesn't mind. his parents decide that he's meant to live a life of solitude and