Lee Ai had never thought that she would one day make music her life goal. It was risky and full of unpredictable obstacles and being born in an average South Korean family meant she was supposed to follow what she had planned. But that was until she met Sehun. They came from two different galaxies, yes. Ai knew, however, that the boy had also had a life set ahead of him, even more strictly than her own. And as late night gigs gradually became part and parcel of their lives, for the first time ever, she intended on breaking out.

People regarded her as a rule breaker, even her parents. But deep down, she was not. Lee Ai did break rules and regulations. She did sneak out at night to hang out. She did pull pranks on her friends, appalling ones even. She did everything a troublesome teenager could possibly do. Nevertheless, very few people understood that her mindset was consistent, and that she knew she was going to be a Yale graduate, work in a big company and get herself an expensive car before the age of 30.

All of that changed when the girl realized what music could to do her. Before college, electric guitar was simply a hobbie, although a really significant one. But Sehun came, followed by Luhan and Yifan, and then by the band and its golden days and just like Oh Sehun, she had already made up her mind to stick to the band. Because it had long hit her how playing rock was what she wanted to do her whole life. How each melody coming out from the amplifier sent fire into every fiber of her being. How the screams and shouts from the crowd breathed life into her. How she loved seeing Sehun playing the hell out of the drums, his eyes half-closed and drops of sweats going down his neck, some even soaking the skin covering his Adam's apple. How he looked at her after each show as if he needed to have a taste of her lips. 

They were from polar opposite worlds, and Ai would never be able to step into Sehun's irrespective of how successful and competent she might be. His world was one based on power and luxury while people of her own worked hard their whole lives to own power and luxury. And she thought, if they stayed together for the band, then maybe, just maybe, she would not have to worry about how inferior she was to him, or how the scenario of them going back to their separate lives terrified her. 

But Lee Ai was too immersed in her own satisfaction to remind herself that all she wanted, Rock, fans, fame, and therefore Sehun depended on her Flaming Fingers, on how she amazed every human being with her guitar playing.

And now it's gone.

Her memories of the day when she woke up in the hospital is still crystal clear. She remembers looking down at her right hand, which had already been nonexistent, only to pass out again before quickly mumbling to her parents "Do not tell the band". They gave her a flawless prosthetic hand.

Ai slowly learned how to survive with only one real hand. And God knows she tried. Ai had done everything to play the guitar with her left hand, but only in vain. She wanted to go back to the band, be a manager or a composer to help out. But she was scared. Terrified even. She was afraid of seeing the new guitarist rocking the stage and then looking down at her fake hand in hopelessness. Of pitiful looks from everyone when seeing her condition. She would rather get hate than hear people saying "Poor her and her Flaming Fingers."

That was probably why she had gone back to her original plan before Courier. Becoming a banker with only one hand was much more challenging then she thought, but she knew she could make it, especially in Japan, the land where everything is possible. And she did. And at the same time, she learned to forget her guitarist days, forget everything she knew about Rock music, forget the band, forget Sehun.

6 years have passed. But somehow, Lee Ai has not completely forgotten everything. Her heartbeat still accelerates to catch up with the beat whenever hearing music on the street. Her eyes still wander to economic magazines on the shelf as long as Sehun is on the cover. 

And as Sehun is staring at her prosthetic hand, Ai knows she will never be capable of getting him out of her mind, just like her passion for music.

"Car accident." She speaks up before Sehun is even able to take in the situation.

And the two look each other in the eye, standing there for a very long time before Ai decides to take him to her apartment to catch up.
- 
The two spend the rest of the morning talking about their lives for the past 6 years. They speak, laugh and hitting each other in the arm just like the old days. Or not. Because even though Sehun tries to avoid mentioning and looking at Ai's right hand, the latter knows perfectly well he gives it a glance once in a while, which makes her raise the hand to hide it in the cardigan she has changed into.
"Don't."Says Sehun as he reaches out for the prosthetic hand."It's okay."
Ai looks at him before sighing and looking down, as if wanting to avoid his gaze.
"It's not, Sehun."Her voice is almost quiet."It has never been, not even to me, let alone you. Each time you look at it, it reminds me of how well we could have done and how I ruined it."
"It's been a long time. I believe if Yifan and Luhan knew they would also forgive you."
Lee Ai looks up, only to be met with the male's eyes, full of sympathy and care. She doesn't deserve it. Not at all. She was the one who spent countless nights with him talking about the band and its goals. She was the one who made plans for the band with him. The one who sat there with him imagining Courier playing at Red Rocks, at Madison Square Garden, at Seoul stadium. The one who understood his innermost desire to be part of a legend. And the one who ruined all of it.

Undoubtedly, Ai feels guilty towards Sehun, Luhan and Yifan and she has never stopped doing so ever since her decision to teleport herself into a completely different world than their own. But as a human being, Lee Ai holds her own selfishness and somehow she feels even worse for herself.

"I can't play the guitar anymore." Ai suddenly speaks up after a long moment of silence."It's all gone, Sehun."At this point, the young woman burst into silent tears as she holds her right hand tightly."It's all gone."

Seeing Ai cry is a strange sight for Sehun. College Ai never cried. At least in front of him. As carefree as she looked from the outside, Ai was a person of a very high level of toughness and self-pride and Oh Sehun has never thought of seeing her cry. But when it actually happens, it can't help but break his heart. The young man slowly wraps his arms around her while whispering into her ears.
"So what? It's gone, yes. But not only for you, for me too. Well, at least Luhan and Yifan could continue making music without you, but not me, Ai."
Still crying and burying her head in his chest, Ai mumbles incoherent words that Sehun manages to make out.
"I'm not like you, Sehun. I literally can never dream of it anymore. You have real hands and I don't. And I never will anymore."
"So you think I can play the drums again? Without you on stage with me? I can't, Ai. We could have grabbed a different guitarist and go on but I said no. Because, Gosh, you have no idea how much energy I gained just by looking at you onstage. We always did it together from the very beginning. What was the meaning of me playing drums if you and your guitar were not there? I have not been able to touch drums ever since, Ai. Not even once. Just like you, I gave up. And since you are incapable of playing the guitar anymore, I don't think I'll ever get back to it. I can't."

Ai stops sobbing to pull away from him and look at him, deeply into his eyes, only to catch sincerity from his gaze. The male hasn't retreated his arms from her body when he continues talking.

"That's why I resented you so much. But it's fine now. And you're doing fine aren't you? Me too."

-
"Well, since you're here I have something to confess." Lee Ai starts another conversation when she has calmed down and the two are once again sitting on the couch on her apartment with Sehun's hand on her shoulder."I held it in through all of our college years. I planned to tell you but then, yeah, you know what happened. But I don't think I'll rest in piece if I don't tell you." She says, pulling away from him and finding a further spot on the couch to face him.

"I love you. Oh Sehun. I always have. Not the best friends kind of love. The I want to kiss you and marry you kind of love actually. It's been 6 years but I'm still in love with you. I'm sorr-"

Pulled in for a kiss in the middle of her sentence. Lee Ai has never thought of that, ever. They say girls love it. Maybe it's true, because she is indeed loving the feeling of Sehun's lips on hers, cherishing every inch of her cold lips while his hands find their way to the back of her head, caressing the hairs covering it. His lips do not look and feel as plump as they used to when he was only a young undergraduate. They, instead, have gotten thicker and his movements are harsher than she expected his kiss to be when she was young, dreaming of being kissed by Sehun. But she loves it.

But the heavenly moment turns out to be short-lived, as Oh Sehun pulls away from her with an empty look as if he há just remembered something before hanging his head down low, his voice huskier than ever.

"I'm engaged."