Apology
This is for everyone who commented on my previous blog. I'm sorry I disappointed. I'm going to post my responses to all of you here. Even though I posted on your wall, I think you should read them all to know just how I'm feeling.
I think if you don't want to read all of that, the gist of things is: I came across as whiny and too concerned about subscribers. That's not the case. I love writing, and it's something I do. I love it and will always be doing it. I just had an extremely off day yesterday and thought updating would help because comments make me smile. But when you're already feeling down, and you're constantly losing subscribers (believe me I've lost a lot more than just four) and there's no comments, it kind of doesn't it?
I value feedback. I take time to read and comment spazz on all the stories I'm subscribed to. I believe that if an author writes and posts, then they would want to hear from us. I understand busy readers, but I guess I was overwhelmed. I'm super busy. But because there are people who want to read my story, I take time to write. I take a lot of time to write, so much it's almost like I'm wasting my time writing rather than studying. I just took my SATs and didn't do as well as I'd liked. Maybe had I studied harder... But that's not the point.
The point is I disappointed a lot of you and I want to apologize. I promise losing subscribers never bothered me as much as it does now. I had a legit bad day and that just happened to be the last straw. To all my readers, I really love you guys. To my unnis and oppas and dongsaengs, thank you for your support always. ♥
heybabylovecrash: I guess the one thing I couldn't convey was that it wasn't just these two. Oh no, I've been it up for a long time, and normally it doesn't bother me. But when I don't get feedback after awhile, it's not just loss of encouragement, it's a severe loss of self confidence. I'm a perfectionist. When I dont get feedback, I freak out. I see it as oh shoot I'm failing. And that's not a great mentality but that's how it is.
One thing I need to clear up is: I do write for me. I just don't post for me. You know what I mean? I will keep writing, but I don't know if I'll keep posting. That's what I meant.
I'm sorry you were bothered, but maybe last night was just a bad night. Or maybe it was me realizing how much time I spent on AFF and getting scared. Either way, I can't leave if I have you guys scolding me like this. And you're right. I came across as quitting. I didn't intend for it to be that way, but I aplogize.
And I love you too
kaicho:I think you're amazing, and I want to thank you. I think I came across as whiny and too concerned about subscribers. But that wasn't my main problem. It was a big build up of frustrations. I honestly appreciate your making an account for my sake and for you I will stay. But I need time because junior year is hard. I think my main problem was that I gave up study time to update and got no feedback. Please read my new blog for more.
sweetybear19: Of all the people, you actually got what I meant. My mentality is not concerned over unsubscribers, it was more of not getting feedback. It was more focused on being unable to know how I'm doing. I will always keep writing. That I won't stop. I just wanted to know for sure if people still WANTED to read.
13elievein15ELF: Thank you.
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