I feel like crying so much.

 
I honestly think people don't like me. I don't know... I know being myself and people who accepts me is good but... I always have that reccurring feeling that people have a problem with me as a whole, like they hate how I am. I'm not one to rant much about my personal life but it's crap. That's why I"m here, to escape it. But what can I do when my parents are putting me down making me feel like crap and my friends aren't even replying to my texts or when I feel so out casted. 

In all honesty, I like it when a person tells me straight up about what's wrong with me. I'd rather have it that way instead of people stabbing me behind that plastic smile they have. If they don't want me there they should just tell me. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I've had enough of that crap in high school. I don't need it anymore in college. It's supposed to be a new beginning for me, not some place where old wounds would open.

Though I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me. Am I that unlikable? I don't know. I'm starting not to care. I just don't want to be the person that no one wants to hang out with. Sure I've got other friends but... I end being their backup plan when they don't have any plans...

I sound so... pitiful don't I? Maybe that's why people just want to stay with me. I'm pitiful to them. Either way I just wish someone would tell me what's wrong with me... I hate this feeling so much. 

snowflakes © ilovpocky93

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pancakey #1 Nov 20, 2013 05:12:44

NIGGA I GOT YO BACK <3

eunhaecupcake #2 Nov 19, 2013 19:28:13

-hugs you- Seoneun's right, KC. I'm going to sound a little mean with the next thing that I'm about to say but I think you'll forgive me for it and this one doesn't apply to you of course. But I noticed people these days that have the same heritage as us are like that and it's like cliques within cliques where they outcast that one person. And I mean the act nice and then stab in the back. Idk... maybe it's because of what my former best friend did to me. But you don't need those type of people in your life. Don't mind your parents with putting you down though. That might be their way of encouraging you (my lolas, lolos, titas, titos, mom and dad do it to me all the time despite them knowing that out of all the cousins I'm the most sensitive. ) just focus on your studies. In the end, 10 or even 4 years from now... those friends that are treating you like this will just be another face and be nothing special. next time they make you the backup plan... say no.

Seoneun #3 Nov 19, 2013 11:15:55

Maybe you should just start fresh with new friends. Just get ride of the old, I know what it's like not to have friends. There is nothing wrong with you I just think you are not surounding yourself with the right people. No friend should make you feel different or like something is wrong with you. They should suport you and be there for you through thick and thin. Just keep your head up and keep being you and you should attract people who want to be with you. College can be hard, just focus on your studies and everything should turn out fine. When new classed start sit by someone new and try to start a conversation. You never know who a person might be until you talk to them.