It was 6pm and Kris was in front of Gabi's house, waiting for SooYoung. She told him how well she did on the interview, despite being in panic, and how thankful she was for his words of encouragement.  He said he was proud of her and invited her to eat some stuff somewhere around the city. She said she didn't really want to go out but he insisted. 

"You said you did well, we should celebrate." 

"Yes, but you have to work tomorrow, Kris. I don't want you tiring yourself for nothing." 

"Are you my mother? Tsk. I'm going to pick you up soon, get ready." And he hung up. 

"Oh, hi." Kris showed her his gummy smile and she return the gesture with a smile even wider. 

"Hi. Where are we going?" She asked putting her phone on her purse. 

"I don't know, somewhere. Get in the car and we can just look for something." He said relaxed already turning his back at her to enter the car. 

"Ehm. Kris... We need to decide first." She said stumping her feet on the ground, he frowned and then looked at her. When he saw SooYoung's expression he bursts out laughing. 

"Are you one of those people who need to plan everything? SooYoung-ah, get in the car." He didn't wait for an answer, already getting in. 

"Há, Há. Yeah, just pick on me. I'm closer to hell and I can burn you down, Mr. Funny." She mumbled more to herself than to him, but he heard and laughed once again. 

They were a great company to each other after all, they made each other laugh all the time, they both competed among themselves who's the worst with the lame jokes, they were so stupid that they couldn't even think about anything else when they were together. It was just the two of them, their lame jokes, their smiles and laughs and a good atmosphere.  

~~~*~~~ 

SooYoung had a tough week after having a really nice day out with him, all the energies she gained had already vanished from her body. He texted her a day after that and told her he was going overseas to a shooting of a photobook, she wished him luck and said he should not be too confident or he would scare all the photographers, but he retorted with a 'There's nothing I can do about my handsome face' and she gave up. Kris explained that he would barely have time to check his phone, but that she could text him and when he had time he would reply. 

But that was not what happened. 

Kris texted her, but she didn't answer him back, SooYoung just didn't want to ruin his mood with her own mood. 

Three days later it was the same, he texted and got no answer back... But She was feeling a little bit better. 

One week later everything was even worse. SooYoung missed him, she missed him like she hadn't missed anyone in ages. She misses herself when she's around him. 

It's been a week since she last smiled, it's been a week since she felt okay. 

Are you there? - SooYoung.

Oh... look who's alive. - Kris. 

You okay? - SooYoung.

Well... after knowing you didn't die? Yeah. - Kris. 

Sorry. :( - SooYoung.

No problem. :) - Kris. 

Of course he would be mad. SooYoung ignored him for a whole week, not even bothering to say "I'm okay, just can't talk to you."  But it wasn't like he needed to know that. He was texting her so she new he was fine, that was all that matters, knowing he was okay, letting him know about her situation wasn't important. 

Wait... All that matters? His well being? SooYoung was definitely out of her mind and she just wanted that month to end as soon as possible so that she could go back to her normal mental state. 

She was missing a guy who's barely entered her life, but who always made her smile. SooYoung wanted to see him more, wanted to listen to his voice more, she just wanted him. 

But that was not right. 

~~~*~~~

SooYoung POV

I felt my phone vibrating somewhere on the bed, I was a mess... All my stuffed animals were sleeping with me that night, I felt lonely and scared because of the storm outside, Gabi was with Tao god knows where. My bed sheets were so clean and I loved that feeling, I really didn't want to interrupt my moment of cuddles with my bed and sheets, but my phone was annoying me. 
I tried to ignore so it stopped, but a few seconds later it started again. I decided to search for it with my eyes still closed and I didn't succeed. It was nowhere to be found.

The sound was still going on and I started to think that something probably happened, maybe Gabi was hurt, or maybe my brother was hurt. I started to panic because whoever was calling, was desperate for me to answer it and was not going to give up until I answer the phone. 

As I got worried, I fully opened my eyes and started to search for it again, only to find it wrapped inside one of the sheets. When I saw the name on the screen I took a really deep breath. 

Kris was calling me... At 9am. 

"Are you okay, did something happen?" I said, and I sounded like an almost dead cow.

"Oh, wow. What happened with you? Why do you sound preoccupied?" His voice was also showing a hint of worry, but I decided to ignore, I probably scared him anyway.

"Ah, no. I thought something had happened to you, since you were so insistent on the calls." 

"Sorry. I thought you would be awake, so I decided to come and see you, but on the second call I figured you should probably be sleeping." And he laughed it off at the end of his sentence. 

My brain was not working how it should, so when he said 'I decided to come and see you' was a little blurred inside my head. He... came to see me? What? 

"Ehm, what?" Is the only thing I can answer, half of me is excited and half of me is panicking. I shouldn't be so happy about the fact that he was back. I missed him so much. 

But I shouldn't have missed him. 

When you miss a friend, you can bear with it. Sometimes it gets a bit painful when you're really close with that friend, but it never stops you from doing anything on your routine. 

Missing Kris did that to me. 

I just couldn't finish one task of my days without stopping for a few minutes to check his SNS or his text messages, I really wanted to hear something from him all the time. 

You definitely don't stalk friends, but I did stalk him on social media. 

When I was going to sleep, I imagine how nice it could be if he my hair and sang me a lullaby while he hugged me tight. 

You don't imagine that with your friends. 

When I woke up, the second thing I thought about, before thinking I needed to pee, was how I wanted to have an excuse to see him soon. 

You don't really think about your friends when you wake up. 

Something was wrong with me and the way I thought about him... Something was definitely wrong. 

"Get up, brush your teeth and come out, I'm waiting for you outside." I could hear the sound of his mouth forming a mischievous smile and I felt something contort in my stomach. I was probably sick... Or going insane. 

"No, Kris. No. I can't. I need to take a shower, to make my bed and all that." I started to look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and my hair was just making a cosplay of a lion's hair.

"If you're gonna take THAT long, at least let me in." He surprised me with that... For a few seconds I didn't know if I should ask him to stay outside or if I should be happy he asked to get inside the house. 

I mean... If he wants to get inside, then that's a good thing. He's probably comfortable enough around me to normally enter a house that is not really mine and to see me like this, like morning trash. 

"Oh... Okay, please, I'm-" 

"Gabi's grandmother is here and telling me to get in, don't worry. Start to do your things, I'll be there in a few minutes after greeting her." 

When did he sound so confident? When did I give him permission to simply act like we were long date friends? 

I was confused. 

But... What is wrong about that? What is wrong about feeling that you know a person when you actually know them for only half a year? It is a good thing, right? People always say it is... No big deal. 

When I hear his loud voice downstairs I start to get my stuff and take a shower on the bathroom right beside Gabi's bedroom... also mine, at the time. 

I hear his voice getting near, but I'm already safe inside the bathroom, he wouldn't see me like that. 

But... Why did I care so much? People have seen me worse. I go to the market in my comfy pajamas....... 

I'm already getting into the shower when I hear his really loud and low laugh, after that I hear him talking to Gabi's grandma, I guess she's showing the house for him. She's really talkative and is also a nice person. 

I start to wash my body diligently, although I had taken a shower before going to sleep, I liked to feel very clean.

I can't hear anyone talking anymore, so I guess they are back downstairs. 

I dry myself soon and enough I'm all dressed... I look at my face in the mirror but the shower did no good to it. My face was still so round and puffy. It was hopeless, he was going to see me like that. The fact that I cried until I fell sleep was the main reason for my face's state in the morning. 

I get out of the bathroom and as soon as I get in the bedroom again, I scream. 

He's looking at the photos we have put on the walls and then he jumps lightly also yelling because of me. 

We both start laughing after facing each other. 

"You scared me." I said still holding my aching belly.

"Well, you scared me too." He says wiping the tears he's accumulated in his eyes while he laughed. 

He looks at me and at my puffy face and a kind  worried expression is showing off. Why though? Did I look that ugly? 

"Stop staring." I say as I put my shampoo back on its place. Lots of people use the bathroom and I don't really like to share my things, so I keep everything inside the bedroom. 

"I can't look at you anymore? Your round chubby cheeks call my attention." He makes fun of me. 

I'm used to it now, he's been doing this ever since we got close to each other. But for some reason, there's tension in the room, I know my stomach is aching and I know how hard I try to breathe properly and not show any reactions. 

We've never been alone inside a small room... Let alone a bedroom. 

But we were friends... And if Gabi's grandma let him stay here, she was also aware of that. There would be nothing more than just two friends reuniting after a long, I mean... Longest, week without seeing each other.

"Couldn't you wait?" I asked him. "I mean... You should have planned something after calling and then we should agree to go out in the afternoon." I pretend I'm still putting my soap and all that on its place. 

"Of course I could. But I missed you." He comfortably say. 

How can he do that? My heart beats faster just about thinking of saying those words out loud. 

"Can't best friends miss each other?" He says and I feel disappointed. Why though? Why did it hurt? 

"Of course they can. But they would be rude to interrupt someone's sleep." He only laughs and I hear the noise the computer chair makes. I know it's safe to turn around now, he's sitting down away from me. 


"I can't stay out of your life now. Deal with me. I know you need me anyway." He says smiling and showing his confident look to me. 

"You are really something, Kris." I sigh. But he is totally right.

I can't have him out of my life. I do, need him.

I need me, and I'm only 'myself', or at least... The 'good' me when I'm around him. 

It's been tough, difficult. He's letting everything slip out of my head when we're together. 

I'm not crazy or something... I'm also not using him. But I love the person he is, I love the way he walks like he's on a run away. I love the way he keeps telling me jokes and mocking me, but when someone gets close to us he acts all tough and like a bad boy... Even around our common friends. 

Maybe I'm hallucinating, but if I'm not really crazy, things like that happen all the time. 

We keep staring at each other while I wonder what is happening to me and why being away from him for just one week would make me so weak. 

The worst is... I know the answers to all those questions and I know what I should do. 

His expression changes and he's frowning while he stares at me back. I don't like that look on his face. 
I want him to smile... Why isn't he smiling? 

"SooYoung?" He calls me and I know I should answer but I'm contemplating if I should just run out of the room before ruining everything. 

"Mhm?" I shortly try to show him I'm not a zombie or something like that. 

"Are you daydreaming?" He tries to laugh a little, but his worried expression is still there, he's being cautious with every question he asks and I can totally see that. I'm just too dumb to tell him I'm fine.

No, I'm not fine. 

I'm in love... 

I'm definitely not fine. 

Just five steps. Five steps and I'll be out of there... Five steps and I'll be free. Five steps and I'll head out of that house and promise myself to never come back around him again. Just five steps... 

I just need to make my feet obey me and that's it. 

I feel like I'm ruining him, like I'm ruining me... Like I'm ruining our friendship. 

He should never, ever know. Ever! 

My head is working too much and I feel my lungs failing me. I see him getting up when he mumbles something like "I can't breathe" But I thought I was just talking to myself. 

I know I'm looking to his tall figure in front of me and I can see his lips moving, probably calling my name. I can see it, but I can't hear it. 

I need to make a decision now. 

I start to take the steps. I hope I won't regret my decision. 

~~*~~

Kris is looking at SooYoung's face and wondering what he should do. He bothered Gabi after not getting any text back from SooYoung so Gabi kind of spilled SooYoung's situation for him.

He felt upset. After getting the need to know more, he ended up asking Tao to call Gabi, so he did. After letting both of them talk for a while he asked if he could talk to her for a little bit and Tao wasn't bothered by that so he took the phone. 

Gabi told him everything. About her anxiety, panic attacks, about her current situation about her mother, house, stepdad. For his surprise, Gabi said she could tell him 'only' that... And if there was more, he didn't really know how SooYoung could hide it so well. He felt sad, for some reason. 

He wanted to be a shoulder where she could cry on... He wanted to be a good company to her, he wanted to pester her, he just wanted to be there... Why did she have to build her walls so high? 

Well, he was also tall... So maybe he could have a sneak peak himself. He wanted to discover more about her, because if Gabi didn't tell him all of that, he'd never imagine she had problems. That bubbly and kind of aggressive little girl was going through 'only' that? He felt pain. 

SooYoung was now in front of him, pale like a ghost. He wanted to take her in his arms and jump around to make she react or laugh or anything... But that would be just too childish and he didn't really know if she was actually having one of her crises. Kris wished he was wrong. 

He told Gabi how he felt about her and how he wanted to tell SooYoung, but she immediately told him to not even try. Not for a while more... Kris should earn her trust first, after that, even though SooYoung would be reluctant about anything he has to say, he should speak his mind and talk about what he feels. But before it happens, he should be satisfied with her friendship and only that. 

"SooYoung?" He asks, but she looks kind of that and that scares him. She keeps looking at the door and then back at him and he doesn't really know what is going on, but he sure wanted to. 

"Hey... SooYoung?" He takes tiny steps forward to hold her, because she really looks like she's going to fall at any moment. 

He sees she looking at the door one more time and then she's totally change. She is smiling brightly at him and SooYoung is the one to take the steps forward. 

He suddenly feel tiny arms around his neck and a struggling girl trying to hug him. He sighs in relief and he can only enjoy that. 

He knows she's in disadvantage because of his height, so he wraps his arms around her waist and takes her off of the ground. She's kind of heavy and he sees in that a right opportunity to pick on her. 

"Oh my god, did you eat three pizzas last night?" And she laughs loudly at his ear, hurting him purposely. 

He felts something soft on his cheek and then he realizes she is kissing him while she tightens her arms around his neck. He pretends he is almost out of breath when he decided to do the same, ACTUALLY leaving her without any air. 

They let each other go and there's something different in her eyes, but he doesn't really know what... Maybe he is imagining things. 

"I hope you never go away for that long again. I had no chauffeur to take me around." She abruptly says making him pout. 

"That's how low you think of me? Am I just a tool? You don't love me?" He says that as a joke, but it makes something cringe inside her. 'I think I do' she answers to herself, but punches him in reality. 

Both get back to normal after that weird episode inside the room, but he knows he shouldn't ask, and she knows she should explain, but she doesn't and if he's not curious, that is even better.

They get out of the house after saying goodbye to Gabi's grandparents. He's not with his car this time, so they need to take a taxi cab. 

Both wait 10 minutes before spotting one, when the car stops, Kris starts to run to it, but SooYoung stays behind in fear. 

She's not really good at crossing the streets, she's even worse when there's lots of cars passing through all the time. 

When Kris reached the door and look around to ask her to get in, he sees she's still there, looking at both directions before crossing. He waits a bit but she still hasn't moved. 

He sighs and goes back to her, grabbing her hand inside his and making she run. 

She yells at him and closes her eyes while they cross the street. 

She can't believe at how different their hands are. It feels nice to have his hand holding hers. But soon enough they are both in the car fighting about how he could've killed them... 

They slap and pinch each other lightly while the taxi driver asks god why did he have that job. 

The whole drive was like that... He always provoked and she was very aggressive in response... 

SooYoung didn't know what address Kris gave the driver, but she didn't care... If she was with him, they could be anywhere that they still would have fun. 

At least, that was what she thinks....