Past:

‘We meet when we were in high school. We were different but at the same time we had more in common than we would have thought.  Even though he was beautiful beyond compare; with his smile that could mean a hundred things, his sharp, but yet gentle eyes that drew me in closer every second I spent looking into them.

 He was flawless from the beginning but that wasn’t the reason why I loved him every second of the day. I fell for every little thing about him. How he’d smile at the sight of anything cute when he thought no one was looking. The way he would try to be tough even though he was as gentle as a feather running along the skin. When he was with me, he was who he really wanted to be; he was just Jaejoong. I guess I liked him from the start from the moment I saw him sitting in that café.’

 The dinging sound the golden bell hanging above the door laced with the silky blue ribbon made as it clashed with the door; alerted the owner he had a costumer. The old timer behind the counter turned to look our way when the noise filled the little café. The owner greeted both of us as we rushed into the building. Shaking our heads attempting to shake the wetness from our hair.

“Man, I hate the rain,” Changmin informed me while he ruffled his dark hair. I let out a chuckle. “You hate everything that doesn’t go your way.” I said with amusement, “I can’t help it if I like order,” my best friend stated with a short laugh before gesturing toward one of the few round tables in the small space. “Come on,” he said with a smile as we walked toward the table laced with a red table cloth.

“Changmin, how did you know about this place anyways?” I questioned as my wondering eyes took in the surroundings while my hand found the chair and pulled it away from the table. The café may have been small and seemed like an older place but yet still had a pretty interior. The curtains that covered most of the windows in the room were a soothing orange color with a simple design. The wallpaper covered with a flower pattern and even though it was worn by age it still was lovely.

There wasn’t much in the room only a few tables, the counter area, a little sitting area by the windows, two rooms which I guessed was the kitchen area, and the other was a bathroom. “I had a friend who use to work here.” Changmin informed me as he made himself comfortable; sitting down.

“Used to?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

Changmin nodded while he pulled each sleeve of his wet coat off his arms as he spoke. “Yeah, they moved out of state for school. I think it was somewhere like Russia or something,” he replied. “How come you’re not with your dad discussing your future, Yunho?” He added the question with a teasing grin.

I released a soft sigh at the mention of my father. “I told him I was going to study with some friends so he’d give me a break for once,” I answered.

Changmin let out a short laugh as he leaned forward, probing himself up on the table. “Mmm… Lying to your father,” he said as he wiggled his finger from side to side in front of my face. “You should be ashamed.” He shook his head with a playful grin. I rolled my eyes at his action and words. “Like you’re one to talk,” I said as we both let out soft laughter.

“What can I get you boys?” The old man asked us; now standing in front of our table.

“Oh I’ll have a strawberry bubble tea and a piece of rice cake please,” Changmin chirped out quickly; he always was a lover of anything sweet. I chuckled at my friend’s childish appetite before I looked to the old timer to order for myself. “I’ll just have some hot tea please,” I said after a short moment of thinking.

“Right away.” He said with a smile and bow before walking away to attend to the order.

Changmin went on about someone in his class who seemed to annoy him, and I let my eyes wander the shop again, but this time something new caught my attention. A person, more specifically a boy who sat by the window, and appeared to be lost in his thoughts. ‘How long has he been sitting there?’ I thought to myself as I didn’t remember him when we walked in.

I couldn’t help but stare at this beautiful boy with jet black hair, which reached to his shoulders, and lay against his neck gracefully. His figure was slim with flawless pale skin, perfect pink lips, and mesmerizing brown eyes. I had never seen a woman or man that could compare to this stunning human sitting only a few feet from me.

“Yunho? Yah! Are you listening to me?”

I jerked slightly when I heard my name being called. I turned my head toward my friend quickly before raising an eyebrow. “What?”

 Changmin let out a chuckle. “What’s got you so lost in space?” He questioned.

I shook my head as I my lips shaking my head too. “Nothing, just thinking.” I said before clearing my throat. ”What were you saying?”

He looked at me for a bit longer; not fully believing my excuse before he shrugged it off. “Alright then but I was saying that yesterday I was told we’d have a new kid transferring to our school. He’s supposed to be the son of a Mafia member,” he told me with a firm nod.

I let out a scoff. “You believe everything you hear?” I asked.

Changmin opened his mouth to say something in his defense but closed it as he laid his head on the table, sticking his lip out in a pouting manner. He knew he couldn’t argue with me on this since I was right.

Peering over my shoulder, I looked for the boy again but was surprised when I couldn’t find him. I turned around fully as I searched for him, and was shocked to see him leaving.

“What are you looking at?” The latter across me asked but I ignored the question before I stood from my seat quickly.

“I’ll be back.” I said before quickly going to the door while hearing my friend protests. I couldn’t explain what possessed me but I had to at least get his name. Rushing out the door hearing the bell ring behind me.

“Excuse me,” I said as I jogged to catch up with the boy who either didn’t hear me or worse; ignored me. Getting close enough to grab his slim arm gently but enough to stop his movements. He turned around to look at who had stopped him and as he did, I felt like the air was knocked from my body. I couldn’t believe he could be even more beautiful up close. I could see his eyes were lovely but this close I could also see the most glorious little sparkles that mixed in perfect with the brown color of his eyes.

“Can I help you?” he said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I was a bit taken aback by his tone but ignored it since I was too caught up by his looks. “Um no, I mean yes.” I replied kicking myself for being a fumbling idiot. “I was just wondering if I could get your name.” I said.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “What? Why would I tell you that?” He asked as he looked at me as if I was some weirdo trying to pay him five bucks for a quickie in the ally.

I smiled at him hoping that it would make him more comfortable. “My name is Yunho,” I said.

The beautiful boy stared at me for a moment before he spoke. “Just call me Hero,” he said before he turned his back to me and walked away.

I blinked for a second wondering if that was his real name or not. “Is that your real name?” I called out having to raise my voice as he got further away. I could see his shoulders move showing that he must have chuckled as he waved his hand in the air toward me. “Not telling that to a stranger,” The boy replied back with a little shout, before disappearing around the corner.

“Hero…” I mumbled to myself as I scratched the back of my head, wondering if that was in fact his name or not.

Whether it was or wasn’t didn’t matter to me as I still smiled widely before starting to walk back. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Hero,” I said as I glanced towards the corner where he’d disappeared from sight only a moment ago. Giving it one more smile before I headed back inside the little Café where the new adventure of my life had just begun.

Present Day:

“Yunho-sshi...Yunho-sshi.” The short-haired brunette jerked slightly as he heard his name being called. Looking up from the screen of his computer that his eyes had been hooked on as he was lost in distant memories. Looking toward the source of the voice with raised eyebrows, he replied in a calm manner: “Yes, what is it?” “

Are you alright sir?” A young blond woman asked with a concerned tone in her voice. He looked at her and nodded quickly with a small smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He cleared his throat before strengthening in his chair.

 “I have the papers your father wanted you to sign.” The young woman placed a small pile of beige colored folders onto the desk. Yunho gave them a glance before he took them into his large hand and peaked at the one on top. “I’ll look over them.” He finished with a sigh as he tossed them back onto his desk. “Okay sir.” The young woman said as she bowed “Excuse me”. The blonde woman smiled before taking her leave.

He released another deep sigh as he covered his face with his hand and massaged it; something he was taught was supposed to relieve stress. He didn’t know why he was remembering these things now.

It had been eight years yet that one person still haunted him. Was it the not knowing why it ended the way it did? Or maybe it was because for some reason he still hoped for a better ending. The lingering memories of a love that was probably dead the minute it started.

Pushing his chair a few feet out from his desk, he stood up slowly. Walking to a small cabinet decorated with specific designs he grabbed a bottle sitting in a sliver bucket of ice that was placed in in his office mainly for looks.

Yunho knew he wasn’t supposed to really drink this at work but the rules. That’s what he thought to himself as he poured himself a drink in a small crystal glass.

He quickly tossed the liquid into his mouth taking in down in one gulp; his face wrinkling as the burning feeling hit his throat. Alcohol wasn’t something Yunho was really fond of, but it was one of the only things that could drag his mind from his pain.

“Why can’t I forget…?” He whispered that question to himself as he set the glass down with a slam, and to his surprise the glass didn’t shatter. He questioned why he still had these thoughts however he already knew the reason why.

No matter what he tried or who he dated, Yunho still couldn’t stop loving that beautiful boy. Those memories always came back; haunting him like a curse. What bothered Yunho the most wasn’t that he couldn’t forget, but the fact that he didn’t think he wanted to.

That if he had the chance to take it back and never follow that boy outside him, he would still have done it. It made him angry that after all the pain he felt – no the pain he still felt…he didn’t want to forget and that is why he couldn’t.

Some could say he was like a drug addict trying to get clean but he couldn’t be helped unless he wanted to help himself.

Ready to pour himself another glass he stopped as he heard a knock echoing from his office door. “Come in,” he said, heading back to his desk as the door gently swung open. “What is it?” Yunho asked the blond woman who left only a few moments ago. “Sorry sir, but your father wants to see you,” She said this with a small bite to her lip. He didn’t have time to sit back down, and he didn’t say anything, but buttoned up his blazer as he walked toward the door. “Don’t take any calls until I get back,” he said sternly before exiting his office.

Outside the building

“You are not to speak with him about this. You are not to tell him who you are. If he asks you, deny knowing him. You are only to do as you’re told.” The man spoke as he held out a phone. “You will use only this phone which will ring every 5 hours. You are to pick up with in the first three rings if not you know what the cost will be.”

Jaejoong took the phone which was handed to him as he stared at the building; one he never thought he’d see again nor did he want too. He hadn’t been here in eight years…eight long years full of memories – painful ones. 

“We have your house located where we can keep an eye on you-”

The man with the jet black hair sighed deeply. “I understand the rules…” He spoke in a muttering voice never taking his brown eyes of the company building. “They are the same as last time…” He whispered as he hesitantly opened the car door, slowly pushing it open enough for him to step out.

As his shoes hit the ground with a clicking sound he tried to calm himself for what he was about to endure. He kept questioning if he was really ready for this, but he knew he didn’t have a choice…

Jaejoong began to walk away slowly but was stopped by the voice. “Oh and Jaejoong.” He turned to face the man still sitting in the car; a strained look on his face. “If history repeats itself and you try what you did last time…I’ll kill all of you.” He said with an evil grin before driving off quickly leaving the anxious man to stand alone.

The beautiful man sighed as he gripped the phone in his hand tightly, causing his knuckles to turn white. “Breathe Jaejoong…” He whispered to himself has he tried to calm his shaking body. He didn’t want this; he didn’t think he could live though doing this again. “Breathe…” He let out a final shaking breath, before turning back toward the building as he straightened his suit and he walked toward the door. 

Gripping the long sliver handle of the entrance door he slowly pulled on it making the door open as a cold air brushed against his face. Walking inside he looked around watching as people in suits or fancy dresses walked by. He held his breath as he watched the people going by him as he gave himself a mental pep-talk.

It wasn’t working until he reached up to his suit jacket pocket and pulled out a photo. Looking at it took his already still breath away. “For you…” he whispered silently before giving it a final look, and then sliding it back in his pocket.

Jaejoong walked further inside until he reached a long, white front desk with a small black haired woman sitting behind it. Waiting until she noticed him which wasn’t till she ended her call. “Yes sir, can I help you?” she said in a kind voice and a bright smile.

“Yes I am here to see Mr. Jung,” he replied, smiling back gently. The woman nodded showing she knew what he was talking about. “Oh you must be Mr. Jung’s 10:30.” she said. He responded with another smile and nod as he watched her point to an elevator.

“Through there and go to the 10^th floor the man at the front will tell you from there.” She informed him. “Thank you.” He smiled and bowed his head before heading toward the elevator to do as instructed.

Once he made it to the large metal doors, he pushed the small button on a panel beside it and then waited for it to arrive. Jaejoong glanced at the man beside him who smiled at him; a smile he returned before looking away.

He waited a few seconds and couldn’t help but feel as if the man was staring at him. He slowly looked toward him and was surprised to find his hunch was right as the man stared at him with a questioning face. “Can I help you?” He asked as he backed away from the other’s too close face.

“Oh sorry.” The man said with a goofy smile as he shook his head. “It’s just you look really familiar. “Do I know you?”

Looking toward the man getting a full look at him before he did remember the face of this man. Someone from his past who he really didn’t want to see right now and it shocked him that the best friend of the man he loved didn’t know him right away. Changmin was always like the third wheel whenever they’d go out. And he had grown fond of the boy, but right now wasn’t the time for catching up between them.

Jaejoong quickly shook his head as he stared at the door. “No.” he said firmly before clearing his throat. Sighing to himself with relief when he finally heard the blissful sound of the ding signaling the elevator had arrived. Stepping into the little moving room, he pushed the 10^th floor button and to his dismay he watched from the corner of his eye as the man followed him in.  ‘Damn it…’ He thought to himself as he failed to get rid of the guy.

“I’m Changmin.” The man told him something he already knew as he extended his hand. Jaejoong took the hand and shook it quickly before letting go. “Nice to meet you,” he replied before remaining silent. ‘Please stay quite…’ The nervous man thought to himself as he kept a calm face though inside he was shaking. This was hard enough for him without having someone from his past noticing that wasn’t supposed to.

Jaejoong slid his hands into his pockets and slipped his phone in as his palm was becoming sweaty. “

Are you sure I don’t know you?” Changmin said again with his eyebrows furrowed trying hard to think where he could have seen the pretty man before.

“Yes I’m sure, excuse me,” he replied. As soon as the elevator doors slid open he gave Changmin a small bow before quickly exiting. He released a short sigh of relief as he walked away from the elevator.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want the man to know who he was since he was sure he’d find out sooner or later. It was only that he didn’t want him running off and telling someone he shouldn’t – someone Jaejoong feared to see again but yet was longing to. He looked straight ahead not minding the people or noise going on around him. This man had one mission and he wasn’t about to let anything stop him not even himself.

Walking until he reached a long counter -like desk with a man dressed in a dark blue suit sitting behind it, and here he stopped. “Excuse me?” he called out with a calm smile even though inside he was a nervous wreck.

“Yes sir, can I help you?” The man said in a chirpy tone.

“I am here to see Mr. Jung,” he replied which caused the young man to nod quickly. “Oh yes. I’ll page Mr. Jung and let him know you’re here,” he said as he pushed a button on his phone and waited for a reply.

“What is it?” Jaejoong heard an older man’s serious voice, one he hadn’t thought he’d hear again.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, sir but your 10:30 is here.” He informed his employer. He could hear the older gentlemen speak but couldn’t make out what he said. “Mr. Jung will be right out, please take a seat,” the young man informed him as he gestured toward a sitting area.

Jaejoong bowed slightly before he headed toward the solid white leather chairs and sat down. He was on the edge of the chair as he softly repeat something to himself. “12...26…20…05…” he mumbled as he kept a calm face. He repeated the numbers a few times as he let his eyes wonder around the large area taking in almost every detail. It was a very clean and organized place, everything seemed to be in perfect order.

He’d grown to hate order since that’s all he knew for so many years. Someone ordering him around was something he was all to use to; he could never do what he wanted… be with who he wanted. Jaejoong feared that he’d be caged for the rest of his life.

‘The secret to happiness is freedom, the secret to freedom is courage’. Jaejoong remembered his father use to quote that to him saying that if he ever felt closed in or chained down to just have the courage to break free. But if he could say no so easily, then he would have the first time he was asked to do wrong. Jaejoong wasn’t going to risk something happening to someone he loves not again…never again.

After a moment of sitting, thinking and repeating he saw someone approach him. An older man with a face he knew and wished he never had to see again.  “Mr. Kim I’m glad you could make it.” The man spoke in a serious tone.

Jaejoong got to his feet and gave him a 90 degree bow. “It’s a pleasure to see you, sir,” he said even though he knew it was probably one of the biggest lies he’d ever told.

The beautiful man didn’t want to be anywhere near this man or this building. His face being a reminder of something he’d lost years ago – something he’d never have again.

“Mr. Kwon has already arrived,” he said before he began walking toward his office. “Oh and my son will also be joining us,” he stated.

Jaejoong felt his heart stop as his feet did; stuck in their place as he held onto his breath; trying to calm himself. The moment he’d dreamt of was about to happen and he had no clue how to handle it. Yes, he knew what he had to do but it wasn’t even close to what he wanted to do.

“Everything alright?” He heard the father of the man he loved ask. Quickly he nodded and gave a forced smile. “Yes, I’m fine,” he replied before he forced his legs to move. To his dismay it didn’t take them long to reach the office since it was only a short hall away from the waiting area.

Mr. Jung pushed the door open without hesitation and walked inside waiting for the beautiful boy to follow him in. Jaejoong waited a moment before he let himself step inside and closed the door behind him. It took him a moment before he realized that the person he’d been so afraid to see wasn’t even in the room. He let out a silent shaking breath before he looked toward one of the people he hated most in this world.

“Mr. Kwon,” he said in the politest voice he could manage to a man with short black hair, dressed in clothes the beautiful man couldn’t even dream of affording. He was years older than Jaejoong, with dark eyes and a crooked smile.

“Jaejoong-sshi I’m so glad you could make it,” the man said in a low voice as he slowly walked Jaejoong’s way. To Jaejoong’s distaste he placed his hand onto his shoulder and griped it tightly. “I hope we can do good business together such as before.”

He spoke with a grin that made Jae’s skin crawl. He wanted nothing more than to push that cold hand away, but he knew if he did it would be trouble. Trouble not for him but for the one person he had to protect no matter the cost even if that price was himself. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He said with such a forced smile that made his face sore.

The man slowly ran his hand down the other’s arm as he took one more step closer to him. “That’s good to hear,” he replied before he, to Jae’s relief, removed his hand from his body.

“Well now we must wait for that son of yours – Yunho is it?” Mr. Kwon said with a devilish smirk as he shot a glance toward the beauty in the room. Jaejoong wanted to shout and tell him never to speak his name he had no right to speak Yunho’s name.

This person was the cause of his pain but he bit his tongue, holding in any comments he had. One of the things Jaejoong hated most was that this man enjoyed hurting him; as if Jaejoong had done something bad to him in the past.

“Yes, Yunho is his name, he’s my only child.” Mr. Jung confirmed as he walked to the end of the long table taking a seat. The man with the devilish grin opened his mouth to speak but his words were interrupted as the door of the conference room opened. “Well, speak of the devil,” he said as he directed his attention toward the now opened door.

Jaejoong quickly looked over his shoulder and felt his heart skip a beat. In walked a tall, handsome man followed by another man and a woman.

He couldn’t believe that after eight years this man still looked the same, only he seemed different. The bright ore that once surrounded him seemed weak, almost gone.

 “I apologize for making you wait I had-“Yunho’s words stopped as if someone had stolen them from his mouth when he looked up and caught sight of what he thought was a ghost. He couldn’t speak or move as he stared wide eyed with disbelief at someone he’d been thinking of every day for eight years.

Both stood silently - lost in a world that only they knew. It was like both of them had such a strong connection that when they looked at one another everything around them would freeze.

Neither would have imagined they would be seeing each other again but here they stood now, breathless. “Jaejoong…” He spoke in almost a whisper.

Yunho moved to take a step toward the beautiful boy but he stopped when he spoke to him for the first time in what felt like forever. “It’s nice to meet you Yunho-sshi,” he said in a formal manner as he bowed to him. Yunho didn’t understand what was happening at this moment, the Jaejoong he knew wasn’t someone to be formal with him – something was different.

“Jaejoong what…” He wanted to question but Jaejoong had no time to answer when his father stepped in. “You two know each other?” The older man asked as he looked between the two men with a confused expression.

“No sir.” Jaejoong quickly denied.

Yunho was going to agree until those heartbreaking words were said. What did Jaejoong mean, he didn’t know him? Had their time together, the love that they had…did it mean nothing to him? Was this meeting now after eight years a cruel twist of fate?

The brunette didn’t understand why he was acting this way toward him. Had he really forgotten him over the last eight years? No, that wasn’t even possible; Jaejoong loved him and he knew it. There was NO way he’d forget about him.

So why…why was he saying he didn’t know him? Yunho looked at Jaejoong with disbelief as the black-haired beauty looked back hiding the hurt behind those beautiful brown eyes.

To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever, there are new people in your life but that cap never closes. The hole in your heart is the shape of the one you lost – no one else can fill it. 

Finally finished the first chapter!! 

It only took me forver!

And I will do so much editing on this later but for now I hope you all like it.

It's shorter then I'd like it to be but oh well.  Please give feedback any kind is welcomed.

To Sara once again you're awesome and here is the first chapter thank you so much for waiting!