It's unlike anything he's ever felt before.

It's a warmth blossoming in his stomach every time Jihoon smiles. It's never wanting to go to bed or close his eyes because he would rather be spending every second of every day with him. It's not wanting the day to end, not wanting to miss a single word out of his mouth. It's love and it's real and pure and he doesn't want it to end, even if his heart shatters into pieces when he remembers those smiles aren't directed at him.

Wonwoo isn't sure when his feelings for Jihoon first began to blossom, his heart had not given him a chance to keep up. Once he had realized his feelings, Wonwoo was a goner. 

He wishes he would have realized it sooner, that there was a reason why his heart sped up whenever Jihoon so much as looked in his direction, why he couldn't help the fond smile that spread across on his face whenever Jihoon laughed uncontrollably, why he always wanted to be the one to help Jihoon reach things on the top shelf - even if the latter argued that he could do it himself with an endearing and heart stopping pout.

He wishes he could have realized his feelings sooner because maybe, just maybe, Jihoon would have chosen him over Seungcheol. 

*

It's a feeling he would still choose to feel, if given the option, because it makes him treasure all of the small moments even more.

It's his heart feeling like it's a second away from shattering when Jihoon smiles the widest and the brightest at their leader. It's wanting to run out of the room - out of the country, out of the planet, out of existence - when Seungcheol's arms circle around Jihoon. But then that would mean missing the giggle that follows and he'd rather feel his heart break over and over again than miss that sound, because it's music to his ears and makes that warmth at the pit of his stomach so much warmer.

He would choose to have his heart broken continuously, because he will treasure every emotion Jihoon makes him feel.

*

It's a feeling he never wants to feel again in his life.

It's his heart and his soul and his very existence filling with anger, disbelief, pure hatred.

It takes every ounce of control to stop himself from punching Seungcheol right in his ing face. 

He's seething with rage, he can feel his hand turn into a fist and he can feel his heart hammering in his chest and he cannot believe his eyes. "What the ?"

Seungcheol's eyes are wide and his face is a bright shade of red and he can do nothing but stumble over his bull excuse,"I can explain, we-" 

Wonwoo cuts him off with a forced laugh. He takes a deep breath and clicks his teeth, attempting to hold himself together so as to not spit on Seungcheol's wide eyed face. 

He gives Seungcheol and Joshua a once over, shakes his head and shuts the bedroom door. 

*

It's a feeling he never thought he would get to experience.

It's the chilly weather at midnight nipping at his skin. It's the cold, hard concrete he sits on outside of the dorm building making his go numb. It's Jihoon in his arms, sobbing and clutching at his shirt, his face flushed red and a weight on his chest. 

Jihoon hiccups again and lifts his head to look at Wonwoo. "I'm such an idiot." He laughs with no real humor, only an agony Wonwoo wishes to replace. 

Wonwoo wipes Jihoon's eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, brushes the hair out of his face and gives him a heartbroken smile. "No you're not." He pulls Jihoon closer and promises to never let go. "You're wonderful." 

*

It's a feeling he would not trade for anything in the world.

It's his heart feeling like it's going to burst for all of the right reasons. It's looking forward to the future without a single fear or worry in his mind, because he knows everything will finally be extraordinary. It's reaching out and knowing the love of his life is right at his side, because he wants to be right there with him. It's holding Jihoon in his arms and kissing him and making him laugh and cry out of happiness. 

Jihoon pushes him away playfully, the smile Wonwoo adores so much adorning his face. Wonwoo feels his whole being burst with glee and he can't stop himself from scooping Jihoon up into his arms and kissing him. He kisses him long and hard and full of every emotion he's ever felt - and the best thing is, Jihoon kisses him the same way. 

"I love you."

"I love you too."