I stared at my reflection in the mirror contently. The yellow summer dress matched with my brown lock perfectly. Seeing the wrist watch strapped around my wrist made me run out of my room hastily. Realizing that I was on clock, I grabbed a pair of shoes randomly, that happened to be navy sneakers.

I’d refused Baekhyun to pick me up since my apartment was farther than the movie from his place. And due to that, I had to be hurried to catch the right bus in time.

Fortunately, when I arrived at the bus stop, a bus to my destination had already there. At least, I didn’t waste another time to wait for next bus.

 

To: Baekhyun

I’m on my way,

Love you.

 

From: Baekhyun

Be careful baby,

Love you too.

 

*

 

I got to the movie ten minutes late from the specified time, but I didn’t found Baekhyun anywhere near the movie. I decided to wait for him, since I knew that Baekhyun was never really an on-time person at the first place.

Thirty minutes passed, and I still didn’t see Baekhyun anywhere yet. Thirty minutes late wasn’t Baekhyun’s habit, no matter not on-time person he was. I tried to call him but he didn’t pick up, then I tried to call Chanyeol instead, who happened to be his housemate, but nobody picked up the phone.

I my upper lip that apparently was dry unknowingly, my feet were moved frantically. Maybe Baekhyun had another important business and he would come when it’s over, I just needed to wait for him. Maybe he would come later. I brought myself to stare at my phone, if there was any call from him.

I was lost count of time when a pair of shoes invaded my sight, stood still in front of me. I lifted my head quickly only to find a male staring at me with solemn expression on his face. My heart was clenched and tears began forming in my eyes.

I tried to give him a smile that I could muster. “Hi… Taehyung.” For another reason, my voice was stucked in my throat when I greeted him.

Taehyung just continued staring me without single blink gloomily, without voicing any sound. “What are you doing here?” I asked him eventually due to the absence of verbal response from him.

“You’re waiting for someone?” Taehyung finally opened his mouth.

I nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been wait-”

“Baekhyun hyung,” said him without any doubt.

I scrunched up my eyebrows together, not getting Taehyung’s action. His sudden coming with sad expression that seemed never faded from his face, his verbal responses that unusually less than usual, and his words like he knew what was going on.

“You… you know something Taehyung,” I pointed out hesitantly as I studied his unchanging expression. “Where is he?”

Taehyung threw his face aside, for some seconds I saw exasperation on his face. “That’s not the matter right now.”

“You know where he is, Taehyung.” I pressed him to answer my question. “Where is-”

“Hospital”

“What?”

“There was an accident”

 

*

 

The tears had already flooded my face. After hearing Taehyung’s words, I run out of the movie as fast as my feet could towards the hospital. Perhaps that day was my bad day, since there was no a single cab stopping upon me waving my hand impatiently, the people in pedestrian didn’t bother to give me any way who was running like a crazy.

I just run, run, and run, until finally I stopped at a hospital that was busier than usual. I rested both my hands at my knees tiredly to catch my breath. I didn’t even know what hospital that had Baekhyun inside it, but my gut told me this was the right place.

I approached the crowd to find Baekhyun. There were many people with blood on their faces and clothes, but Baekhyun wasn’t there. I moved to the receptionist who was equally busy like other people around me.

“Is there a patient named Baekhyun?” I asked the woman behind the desk. The woman’s eyes were glued to the computer in front of her, sometime she reached for the phone on her side to call someone; completely ignored me.

Not wanting to waste more time, I walked through the corridor until I founded Baekhyun at the end of the corridor, in front of a surgery room. His head was down very low on his two hands, his fingers were lost in his black lock, on his lap was a pair of shoes that somewhat familiar. Aside than the seemingly fresh blood on the shoes, Baekhyun’s body and clothed was clear from any blood. But he didn’t look fine at all.

I moved closer carefully. “Baekhyun?”

The sobs from his mouth replied me, the nearer I was the more I saw that his shoulders were tremble furiously.

What happened?

Baekhyun had never cried this hard. As long as I knew him, I only ever witness him cried at his grandmother funeral, no way close to this hard. I chose to sit beside him and rubbed his back lightly, hoping that it would ease his nerve a little.

However, Baekhyun’s cried only became louder. He stood all of sudden as he punched the wall repeatedly very hard that I wonder if he would hit the wall again it would have collapse. After the last punch, he turned his body as he screamed in agony, and leaned his body on the wall lifelessly, letting the gravity pulled him down.

I squatted in front of him, who had his knees pressed on his chest and his head buried inside the folded arms on his knees. “Hey, what happened?”

“I’m sorry,” he said weakly. “I should’ve been with you. Yaewon-ah, I’m sorry”

I moved closer as I embraced his trembling body lightly. “It’s okay Baekhyun, it’s okay.”

In the middle of the mess, I didn’t have a care anymore about whoever inside the room that made him in such a despair. No matter how selfish it sounded, all the matter was that Baekhyun was here beside me, not inside the room.

 

*

 

Baekhyun and I stayed in that position for awhile, until he finally lifted his head and stared at me, loosening my embrace in the process.

“Baekhyun,” I said carefully.

For the first time I was here, Baekhyun finally looked at my eyes. Whoever inside the surgery room must be very precious for him; since he just stared at me with distant in his eyes, he was seeing through me like I wasn’t there at all.

“How is she?” Baekhyun asked emotionlessly.

“Baekhy-”

“I said how is she!” Baekhyun screamed right at my face with red face, and glassy eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” said someone that had already been behind me for I didn’t know how long. “She’s dead, she coudn-”

“Stop, doc. Stop talking” Baekhyun tried to stand on his feet and reached for the man with green shirt hurriedly, ditching the paired shoes, almost knocking me if I didn’t move aside on time. “Where’s she?”

“Yaewon-ah!”

Before I could stand properly, Baekhyun had already run towards some people who had a dead body on a wheeling bed. He pushed all the people around the lifeless body like a crazy.

I walked to him who had already on his knees beside the bed. Baekhyun’s tears that had already stopped for a while beginning to fall again. The sight of Baekhyun on his knees beside the body, hugging the stiff body tightly, caressing the body’s face dearly, and his pitiful cries echoed the silent corridor were enough for me to cry in silence.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I stopped my steps, didn’t have any strength to move upon hearing his scream in agony. “Why!”

“Yaewon-ah,” upon his calling, I tried my best to moved me heavy feet to him. However his next words made me dead in the steps. “Yaewon-ah, please open your eyes for me. Yaewon-ah, don’t be like this. Yaewon-ah, what should I do Yaewon-ah? Yaewon-ah! Jung Yaewon!”

“Baekhyun,” I said quietly, at this close distance I could see the body’s face clearly. And due to that, my feet gave up on my body, causing me to collapse to the floor in the middle of the corridor.

“Baekhyun!” a male passed through me that made my body jerking forward slightly, as he forced Baekhyun to stand and leave the body, my human body, to the green clothed people.

“Chanyeol, let me go! I said let me go!”

And so I could only sit there losing my mind, seeing the event passed in front of my eyes, not caring where those people brought me to, not caring for Chanyeol who tried to hold Baekhyun from running away in the corner.

Right now, it just made sense. Why nobody picked up the phone, why the cab didn’t stop when I waved my hand impatiently, why everybody in the street didn’t bother to give me way for run, why the receptionist woman ignored my question completely, the blood stained shoes that somewhat familiar.

The irony was that Baekhyun had never responded me; he’d been talking to his self, because I was never there. Wondering who Baekhyun cried for was, when it was me all along.

The shoes were mine; it was navy, the one I wore to the movie. The blood in it was mine; it was still fresh cause the accident just happened couple hours ago. The body was mine; it was there, because I died. I died today.

“Goddammit Baekhyun, she’s gone!” Chanyeol’s words made me choking on my own tears that had already fallen since forever. “She just died, Baekhyun.”

I’m gone

Today I died

I died today

I died

I

“What a cruel joke.” Just like me, Baekhyun could only laugh dryly.

“No, it’s real”

 

*

 

“The accident was caused by the brakes that didn’t function properly…”

“…the bus fell over the road below…”

“…all the victims had been rescued before the blow occurred…”

“Four people are reportedly dead while the rest are either in critical or stable conditions…”

“…the driver, Kim Taehyung, Yoo Jinhee, and Jung Yaewon.”

 

*

 

“Let’s go to the movie”

“You wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah, and then we hang out after that. How does that sound?”

“Do you want a movie or do you want a date, baby?”

“Baekhyun!”

Then he chuckled, the last one she heard from him.

And he heard her whining shyly, the last one he heard from her.

 

*

 

 

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