Mr. Owl

What is it?

Why can’t we all just die?

<:>

It was a bitter day.

The cold wind blew, biting the tip of Sungyeol’s nose until it turned red. He couldn’t feel his hands and each step he took was heavy. He didn’t want to leave the house that day, but he had to, because if he ditched school, then Hara would be all alone. He was afraid that something might happen to her if he wasn’t around.

She might meet an accident.

She might get into trouble.

She might get bullied.

She might kill herself.

Sungyeol shook the last thought away from his already cluttered mind. Couldn’t he trust her?  He was aware that she was stronger than what he had expected, right? In the midst of his reverie, he stumbled, and this pushed him to focus more on the road, which was damp and cold and lonely.

“So much for comfort,” he murmured, as he looked up at the dreary, suicidal sky. Sungyeol somehow managed to smirk at that word: comfort.

<:>

While heading to his floor, Sungyeol caught a glimpse of his brother hanging around in the hallways with his friends. They were laughing, and Daeyeol saw his older brother, too. He waved. The older one nodded, and that was it.

Hara was already on her seat, reading a book she borrowed from the library two days before. She looked up as Sungyeol approached her and she nodded at him in acknowledgement. He did the same. The two stared into each other’s eyes for a fleeting moment, and before anything could be unveiled, they both broke the eye contact at the same time. He retreated to his desk, and like Hara, he suffocated his anxious thoughts with a set of words illustrating a new world, which came from a stranger’s point of view. He would glance at her from time to time, and he realized that she was really absorbed to what she was reading.

Looking at you like this, he thought. You actually look normal.

Not that she wasn’t in the first place—heck, who was he kidding? People like Hara, were they even normal? People who wanted to die, who sought refuge to strangers lurking in the internet, who shared their deepest secrets to someone else who was hiding behind an avatar…could those kind of people be even normal?

He had to pause and think. Am I even normal?

<:>

“Lee Daeyeol, what is wrong with you?” their Mom asked one evening, when she noticed that her son was cleaning his room. This caused Sungyeol’s curiosity to arise, so he stepped out of his room to have a look at the scene.

“Me?” Daeyeol asked, grinning, as he tossed another item into the box next to him. It was a picture frame of some sort. “I’m turning over a new leaf, Mom!”

“A new leaf?” she repeated, as she crossed her arms critically.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, nodding away. “I figured I should help out by cleaning my own room at least.”

Sungyeol eyed at their Mother, and a smile tugged at his lips upon seeing her eyes brighten up. With a nod of approval, she stalked off, leaving the two brothers alone.

“It’s a miracle,” Sungyeol remarked, as he leaned on the doorpost. “You doing something aside from basketball for once.”

“You think?” Daeyeol returned, as he craned his neck to face his brother. “I decided to drop that for now. I need to sort some things out.”

“Like what?”

“Like this room,” the younger one answered. He stuck his tongue out, and added, “Duh.”

Sungyeol watched him arrange more things. He took the clothes from his closet out, and a silver, flashing strand of something flew from his folded clothes to his bed. Daeyeol noticed it, and as quickly as he could, he tried to find it. It didn’t take him long.

“It’s here!” he cried, beaming, as he held up a silver necklace with a ring that served as its pendant. He shifted his gaze to Sungyeol, and with a smile, Dayeol tossed the item to his hyung.

“What’s this?” he asked, as he automatically caught the necklace.

“You can have it,” Daeyeol said. “As a mark of our brotherhood.”

Sungyeol smirked at his brother’s comment, but he waved the necklace in front of him just the same. “Don’t take it back,” he teased.

“I won’t,” Daeyeol replied, grinning. “You should head back to your room, hyung. I need to get a move on.”

Sungyeol nodded away, and with a dismissive wave, he retreated back to his own world.

<:>

Kai?

Kai?

Kai?

Kai?

Kai?

I’m sorry, Mr. Owl. What is it?

Nothing. Just wondering if you’re still there.

I still am.

Good.

But I don’t know for how long.

<:>

“What’s this for?” Sungyeol asked, as he stared at the black and pink fabric band that Hara handed out to him.

“It’s something important,” she answered. “So I’m giving it to you.”

“How is it important?” he returned. “And why are you giving it to me?”

“To know that you’re worthy enough to receive something special,” she replied, her cheeks showing slight tints of red while admitting it.

Sungyeol found it funny, but he suppressed his grin. “Thanks.”

<:>

“Hyung, do you know that we’re all natural actors?” Myungsoo asked Sungyeol one afternoon. They somehow managed to bump into each other, and since the both of them were itching to escape from their reality, they decided to have a conversation that could distract them, even for just a short while.

“What do you mean?” Sungyeol asked back in return, but of course, he already knew what Myungsoo meant. If anything, he should be the first one to understand. Sungyeol could go around with a straight face while his mind was in a state of chaos. He could wake up, go to school and do those mundane things even if all he wanted was to sleep, and possibly forget the world.

Myungsoo glanced at Sungyeol, and his eyes drifted to the friendship band around his hyung’s wrist, and it finally landed on the silver necklace hugging his hyung’s neck.

“Hyung,” he said again. “Do you know that we’re all natural actors?”

<:>

Beautiful

By: Sunshine

If only people could see beyond their reflection in the mirror, then I bet they won’t throw away their lives without even hesitating. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, so don’t tell me that I won’t understand, because I will. I will always, always understand.

God doesn’t make junk.

God made you.

You are not junk.

You aren’t worthless. You’re priceless.

<:>

Hey Kai. It’s Sunshine here.

Oh. Hello.

Don’t do it.

What?

Don’t do it.

But I’m not doing anything.

You will.

What will I do?

How many things did you give away today?

Kai has logged off—

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
- Psalm 139:14