Baekhyun is struggling. It’s been fifteen minutes since he started working on his tie but no matter what he does, it just refuses to look presentable.

Cursing under his breath, Baekhyun yanks the tie from his neck and throws it on the couch. He then looks into the mirror again to see if his outfit looks better without it.

It doesn’t.

So, Baekhyun grabs the tie and painstakingly starts the whole process all over again.

“Who the hosts a birthday party one day before a wedding? Who does that?” Baekhyun complains under his breath as he checks his own reflection in the mirror. He looks good, but the thought of socializing annoys him because he’s had a long day and he’s tired and he just wants to curl up on the couch and watch some mind-numbing television shows.

But as Mrs. Park had informed both him and Chanyeol during breakfast this morning, Somin is organizing a surprise birthday party for her fiancé, Kim Minseok this evening. It will be held at her house and they’re invited, so they have to go. Baekhyun thinks it’s ridiculous that Somin still has the energy to host a birthday party before her own wedding tomorrow. Sure, it’s a small one with a few friends and family, and that it’s more of a quiet formal dinner than a full-blown party, but still, does this woman ever relax?

Baekhyun shakes his head. He doesn’t want to let this bother him at all because it’s not going to be his problem if Somin is too tired for her own wedding tomorrow.

Baekhyun had a good day today. He spent his morning walking around the lake, enjoying the beautiful scenery, and partaking in the activities available there. He talked to a few people, joined more outdoor activities, and ate lunch with a group of tourists from Dubai who were happy to let him join them. He didn’t come back to the hotel room until when it’s time for him to get ready, and that meant that he hadn’t seen Chanyeol the whole day.

He’s glad that Chanyeol and him are still civil around one another. He was scared that it might be awkward between them, considering what happened last night. He didn’t think he’s going to survive this trip if he had to deal with the awkwardness, or worse, Chanyeol’s silence, all the time. He might even book his flight home himself if that happened – promises be damned.

Thankfully, Chanyeol acted like last night didn’t happen, so Baekhyun gladfully played along.

When Baekhyun got back to the room after spending the whole day outside, he found Chanyeol on the bed with his laptop perched on his lap. He had his glasses on, and the way he was so focused that he didn’t even register that Baekhyun had entered the room showed that he’s working on some reports because Chanyeol was always meticulous when it came to his work.

“Hey there,” Baekhyun greeted.

Chanyeol looked up, “Hey. Didn’t see you at all today.”

“Yeah, missed me?”

Chanyeol chuckled, turning off his laptop and setting it aside, “Did you have a good time?”

 “Yeah. The most amazing time!” his eyes then darted towards the laptop, “Have you been cooped up in this room the whole day? Doing work?”

“Not really. I went out for lunch with a friend earlier,” Chanyeol replied. Baekhyun’s brow raised, so Chanyeol continued, “And yeah, aside from that, I spent the whole day here. Sehun wants this report done quickly and I need to get that kid off my .”

Baekhyun frowned, “That’s unfair. You’re on a holiday, so why are you working?” he sighed, “Sehun should give you a pay raise if this is how things are gonna be.”

“I totally agree,” Chanyeol shrugged as he got up from the bed and made his way towards Baekhyun, “But I’ve finished the report so I’m free now. Sehun’s not allowed to bother me until we get home.”

“Good.” Baekhyun said, his heart hammering wildly in his chest when Chanyeol got closer. Thankfully, Chanyeol stopped just a few feet from him. “We have another day after the wedding, right? We should go out then. You should see the lake, Chanyeol! And the activities – they’re so fun!”

He then went on and told Chanyeol about the things he did, and about the friends he made. Chanyeol listened attentively to everything.

“And the food! Oh my God, the food is amazing!”

“Okay now you’re purposely making me jealous,” Chanyeol pouted, “I only had a lousy sandwich for lunch.”

“Hey! I asked you whether you wanted to join me and you said no, so, it’s your loss!”

When Chanyeol’s still pouting, Baekhyun took the first step forward and petted his cheek, “We’ll go together after this whole thing is settled. I’ll show you around, and lunch is on me, okay?”

At that, Chanyeol smiled, and his smile was so bright that Baekhyun felt himself melting right then and there.

“Okay,” Chanyeol said happily “It’s a date.”

Baekhyun feels his cheeks redden when he thinks about Chanyeol’s words. Date. That’s just an expression, right? Of course Chanyeol doesn’t actually mean a date. Why would he? And why would he, Baekhyun, think too much about it?

He shakes his head, willing himself to focus on the task at hand (the tie) instead of Chanyeol.

A few aggravating minutes later, Chanyeol enters the room.

“The tie still not co-operating?” Chanyeol asks – he sounds so amused that Baekhyun wants to kick his shin. What’s so funny about his fashion crisis?

Chanyeol walks towards him and then turns him around. Baekhyun finds himself face to face with Chanyeol who is already dressed up and ready to go, and he can’t help but to admire how beautiful he looks. He knows he’s staring and Chanyeol seems to notice that too because Baekhyun realises how his ears redden the longer Baekhyun stares at him.

He then pulls Baekhyun’s hands away from the tie and then starts working on it himself.

“Tell me again how you’re working in the fashion industry but still doesn’t know how to work with a tie?”

“Shut up. Everyone has their own weakness – this happens to be mine,” Baekhyun pouts, “Why do you think I never wear this thing?”

Chanyeol laughs, “Remember when you used to ask me to tie this for you when you had morning meetings?”

“I remember you never doing it unless there’s a reward in it for you.”

Baekhyun remembers the mornings when he needed to go to meetings so he had to wear his formal attire. He was never good with ties so he had to wake Chanyeol up early in the morning to ask for his help. Chanyeol would never do it unless Baekhyun reward him with something, and Baekhyun would always reward him with kisses and... other things.

Chanyeol smiles, maybe just like Baekhyun, he’s thinking of the fond memories.

“There you go,” he says once he’s done.

Baekhyun turns to check his appearance in the mirror.

He looks complete now.

He smiles, satisfied with his attire – finally.

Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol to thank him, but then he realises that Chanyeol’s smile has dimmed and is now replaced by a nervous look on his face. Baekhyun knows that Chanyeol is anxious at the thought of pretending in front of his family, and Baekhyun is nervous too because there are a lot of things that can go wrong and he’s so afraid that they might get busted.

Baekhyun is worried just like Chanyeol, but the difference is that he knows that this is their sole mission – the one reason why they’re here – so they have to do it no matter how terrible they might feel afterwards.

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and exhales – this always helps to calm him down. He then smiles, pokes Chanyeol’s side, “Ready to go, ‘boyfriend’?”

Chanyeol blinks, startled by the name. But then he returns Baekhyun’s smile and says, “Yeah, let’s go, ‘boyfriend’.”

///

“Alright, be cool,” Chanyeol says once they’re in front of Somin’s penthouse, “Just be cool.”

“Are you saying that to me or to yourself?” Baekhyun asks as he glances at Chanyeol. Baekhyun was fine before, had just calmed down, but Chanyeol repeating the same phrase from the moment they got out of the car makes Baekhyun nervous all of the sudden.

“To myself,” Chanyeol swiftly answers, “I’m not worried about you. You’re great. You’ll be fine.”

Baekhyun’s expression softens, “And you’ll be fine too. You’re with me, remember?”

Chanyeol nods, “Just give me a sign when I’m talking too much, okay? You know how I get when I’m nervous.”

Baekhyun knows. Chanyeol has always been a talker. Baekhyun supposes that’s what makes Chanyeol so charming because he always has something to say so there’s no awkward moment when anyone is with him. However, Chanyeol is also a nervous talker in the sense that he speaks even more when he’s nervous. This eventually makes things worse for himself and other people around him, so it’s always up to Baekhyun to stop him from talking when he senses that Chanyeol is too nervous to think clearly.

“I know. Just follow my lead. I’ll do the talking.” Baekhyun says, “Just act like we’re dating and don’t leave my side.”

Chanyeol nods, looking like an obedient puppy ready to follow his master’s orders. It’s so endearing, Baekhyun laughs.

“Okay, ready?” Baekhyun’s hand is on the doorbell but then Chanyeol shakes his head. Baekhyun drops his hand.

“What is it?” he asks.

Chanyeol blushes. He seems to be debating with himself, but when Baekhyun continues to gaze at him, he comes to a decision.

“May I – may I hold your hand?”

Baekhyun feels his face grow hot. He’s sure that his face is probably as red as Chanyeol’s right now.

“S-sure…?”

“It’s just that… we held hands when we’re dating. And they used to see us hold hands a lot back then. I just think it helps to make our story more believable, y’know? It’s easy to look like a couple when we actually act like a couple, right?

“Chanyeol…”

“If they’re convinced, then they won’t ask us a lot of questions, so this party will be bearable. Like, it’s not like we’re gonna do anything more in front of them. But if you’re not comfortable, then it’s okay, we don’t have to do it…”

“Chanyeol…”

“I mean, the choice is in your hand – pun not intended. But really, It’s up to you. I don’t want to make this uncomfortable. We can definitely not hold hands and act like a couple. Yeah, we can still convince them – I just think it’s…”

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun raises his voice to shut Chanyeol up, “You’re doing it again.”

“Oh,” A look of realization dawns on Chanyeol’s face, “Okay. Okay, sorry. It’s just that – it’s so hard to keep calm about situations like this. I mean, I know my family’s not gonna ask a lot of questions, but what if they do? I don’t want to burden you to answer them. You’re already so kind to - umf!”

Chanyeol stops talking once Baekhyun places his palm on his mouth. He’s so close now, bodies pressed together. Chanyeol is grateful he’s prevented from saying anything due to Baekhyun’s palm on his mouth because if not, he’d be blabbering even more now.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun says, “Don’t say another word. Don’t say anything until a question is directed at you, understand?”

Chanyeol slowly nods. Baekhyun stares at him, judging whether Chanyeol really is ready. After a few seconds, he decides Chanyeol has calmed down enough for him to safely pull away.

Chanyeol exhales once Baekhyun is away, and then he breathes in and out to further calm himself down. The idea of having to pretend in front of his family really doesn’t sit well with him because he was raised to be an honest young man. Guilt eats him from the inside and his heart hasn’t stopped beating wildly since this morning.

However, this is his idea. He’s the one who convinced Baekhyun to pretend to be his boyfriend. He’s the one came up with all of this. He can’t back out now. He needs to go through with this even if he hates it.

Baekhyun then takes his hand, his hand much smaller than Chanyeol’s, but fits perfectly anyway when he intertwines their fingers. He feels so warm in Chanyeol’s hand, and it’s comfortable.

This feels comfortable.

Chanyeol feels himself breathing more evenly.

Chanyeol finally calms down.

Baekhyun pushes the doorbell button and waits. He squeezes Chanyeol hand in reassurance as he looks up to Chanyeol and smiles, and Chanyeol feels like Baekhyun has squeezed his heart just the same.

“Chanyeol! You’re here!” Somin squeals when she opens the door. She rushes to give Chanyeol a hug, breaking Chanyeol away from Baekhyun, “Channie, I’ve missed you so much!”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he watches the two cousins in front of him. Somin is hugging Chanyeol so tightly that Baekhyun is sure that Chanyeol is a few seconds away from suffocating.

“I – I missed you too,” Chanyeol manages, pulling away from Somin. Somin smiles widely at his remark, squeals again before pulling him into another suffocating hug. Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, eyes pleading for help.

Baekhyun clears his throat.

At that, Somin stops and turns her head towards Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun, hi! Didn’t see you there,” she says as she lets go of Chanyeol. Chanyeol heaves a relieved sigh, but that goes unnoticed by Somin. Somin is still smiling but her smile seems far too wide to be genuine.

Baekhyun knows that Somin doesn’t like him. While everyone else is fond of him, Somin is apprehensive and reserved when Baekhyun’s around. It used to bother Baekhyun a lot because as Chanyeol’s boyfriend, he wanted Chanyeol’s entire family to approve of him. But then he learnt from Chanyeol’s sister than Somin is protective of Chanyeol more than the others because they grew up together. Chanyeol spent most of his childhood with Somin and Somin did the same, so it’s logical that Somin wanted the best for Chanyeol.

Baekhyun is still offended that she thinks that he’s not the best for Chanyeol.

He’s not irrational – he definitely understands Somin’s behaviour, but that doesn’t mean he has to accept it.

But they’re all adults here. The least they can do is be civil.

Baekhyun fakes a smile.

“If you’re not too busy suffocating my boyfriend, you’d notice that I’m here!” Baekhyun says through gritted teeth, still maintaining his toothy smile while pulling Chanyeol by the hand.

Somin’s expression falters.

“Kidding!” Baekhyun adds, laughing out loud for more effect, “I understand. You’re excited to see Chanyeol.”

Somin grins, “I’m excited to see you too, Baekhyun. Both of you! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Baekhyun doesn’t believe a word she says.

“Yeah, it has. You look amazing, by the way.”

And that wasn’t a lie. He might not like Somin, but he won’t deny that Somin is one of the most beautiful women he’s ever met – and that says something, considering that Baekhyun works in the modelling industry and is surrounded by models practically every day. Her hair is the blackest Baekhyun has ever seen, her eyes are round like Chanyeol’s, her lips are so red and her skin is as smooth as glass.

“As do you,” Somin says politely, “I heard you launched your latest collection? I’ve been meaning to get my hands on your stuff, Baekhyun. All of them look amazing!”

Baekhyun smiles, genuine this time, “Yeah, I’m proud of them.”

“And you should,” Somin says. She then moves aside and opens the door to her house, “Come on in, you two. Everyone’s waiting in the living room.”

Somin enters the house, leaving Baekhyun with Chanyeol. Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol, relieved that it wasn’t as hard as they anticipated it would be because Somin didn’t suspect a thing.

Chanyeol returns his smile, and hand in hand, they walk into the house and prepare themselves to meet the family.

///

Upon arriving, Somin guides them to the living room and there, she starts introducing Baekhyun and Chanyeol to some of her friends and her fiancé’s friends. From talking to them, Baekhyun learns that Somin’s fiancé, Kim Minseok, is the CEO of the Kim Corporation, one of the biggest corporations in the country and also one of the rival companies for Somin’s family’s own company.

Baekhyun wonders how Somin and Minseok fell in love.

Then, along with Chanyeol, they greet some of Chanyeol’s family friends, including Kim Junmyeon, whom Baekhyun is very fond of.

They met at Yoora’s wedding a few years ago, when Baekhyun almost cried because he was nervous about meeting Chanyeol’s extended family for the first time. Chanyeol introduced him to Junmyeon first, and Junmyeon’s friendliness and kindness helped to calm him down and assure him that Chanyeol’s family was going to like him.

Ever since then, Baekhyun likes the family events better when Junmyeon’s around. His presence is always comforting and Baekhyun feels more welcomed when Junmyeon is there.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun catch up with Junmyeon for a bit. Baekhyun notices that Junmyeon is a little off today as he’s eyeing both of them weirdly, like he’s noticing that something is different. Baekhyun feels his heart race at that because he knows that Junmyeon is very observant and can detect lies like a professional. He knows that Junmyeon suspects something and is about to ask them upfront about it, but before he gets to do so, someone interrupts him.

“Chanyeol, Baekhyun! There you are!”

Baekhyun immediately turns to find the source of the voice, secretly grateful for whoever it is.

He finds that the voice belongs to Yoora, who is making her way towards them.

“Excuse me,” Junmyeon nods curtly. He shares a look with Chanyeol, and he seems to want to ask him what he’s been wanting to ask but then decides against it and walks away. Baekhyun heaves a relieved sigh.

That was close.

When Yoora reaches both of them, Baekhyun steps forward and gives her a hug. She hugs him back and then pulls away to ruffle Chanyeol’s hair, earning a complaint from Chanyeol who hates people messing with his hair.

“I haven’t seen you since forever!” Yoora says to Baekhyun, “Where on earth have you been?”

“Everywhere,” Baekhyun chuckles, “Work is crazy lately. Just launched my new collection so there’s a lot of things to be done.”

“I know that. But what I’m saying is, I haven’t seen you forever. Like, you never come for our weekly dinner anymore!” Yoora pouts, punching Baekhyun’s shoulder playfully, “If I didn’t know better, I’d think that you two have broken up or something.”

She laughs and Baekhyun laughs along albeit a little forcefully. Chanyeol has completely froze next to Baekhyun, looking at both of them with an expression of utter panic.

Oh no.

“As if I’ll ever let this one go,” Baekhyun quickly hooks his arm around Chanyeol’s, letting his other hand caress the length of his bicep lovingly while maintaining the biggest smile on his face.

Oh, he’s been working out, Baekhyun muses, his hands unconsciously tighten around Chanyeol’s arm to feel the muscle.

No!

He can’t get distracted.

He quickly loosens his grip, “We’re... we’re doing better than ever.”

“I know. I was only joking! I can tell that you two are going strong.” Yoora giggles, “You’d think that after all these years, Chanyeol would stop acting like a lovesick fool but he’s still like that!” Yoora looks at Baekhyun with the biggest smile on her face, “Literally can’t shut up about you every time he sees us. Baekhyun this, Baekhyun that. You really got my brother head over heels for you huh.”

“Yoora, shut up,” Chanyeol says through gritted teeth.

“I –“ Baekhyun is at loss for words. His heart races. Chanyeol still talks about him?

Chanyeol on the other hand, has turned beet red, clearly embarrassed that his own sister would expose him like that. He knows that if he tries to deny it, Yoora would further and maybe expose even more things that he’d like to keep a secret. So, he clears his throat and changes the subject.

And he succeeds as Yoora immediately eats the bait and starts telling them about her life. Baekhyun then chimes in with updates on his own career, his life, and about Sehun and Jongin because Yoora is curious, and Chanyeol only adds his input once in a while. The conversation mostly revolves between Baekhyun and Yoora but Chanyeol maintains his presence, keeping Baekhyun in his arms at all times.

Yoora looks behind Baekhyun, where Somin is busy ordering the caterers to hurry up with the food preparation because Minseok is coming any time now and she doesn’t want the surprise to be ruined.

She chuckles.

“I can’t believe our Somin is getting married.”

Chanyeol turns his head to follow his sister’s gaze, Baekhyun follows his.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, “Feels like only yesterday that she’s forcing me to be her pretend groom and you her pretend makeup artist.”

“She’s so bossy back then, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah. We’re her little servants back then.”

“And that bossy little girl’s gonna be someone’s wife tomorrow.” Yoora says warmly, eyes bright when she’s thinking about the old times. Chanyeol nods, feeling nostalgic himself. However, he doesn’t get to dwell on the memory further as he then spots a catering worker walking towards them with a tray of champagne. He realises that he hasn’t drunk anything since he gets here and he could use a glass of champagne.

When the worker is close enough, Chanyeol extends his hand forward and gets a glass for himself. He’s just started drinking when Yoora asks, “When are you two gonna get married yourself?”

Chanyeol chokes on his champagne.

Baekhyun quickly gets some tissues and then pats Chanyeol’s back as Chanyeol coughs.

“You don’t have to be so surprised!” Yoora says in absolute hilarity.

“Don’t spring questions like that!” Chanyeol exclaims. Yoora laughs when Chanyeol turns red like a tomato, and Baekhyun just chuckles at himself as he rubs Chanyeol’s back to give him some relief.

“Please, I know you’re plann-”

“Mom!” Chanyeol quickly exclaims, waving at the woman who is walking towards them, “Mom, here!”

Mrs. Park smiles as she gets to them, hugging Baekhyun and Chanyeol and then glares at Yoora, “Have you been traumatizing the kids again, Yoora?”

Yoora gasps, “Me? Traumatizing them? Never!” she puts her hand on her heart as if wounded, “How could you think so badly of me, Mother?” she says dramatically.

“Your hobby is teasing these kids, Yoora. Don’t think I don’t know.”

“Mom, they’re grown men,” Yoora says, “I wouldn’t call them kids if I were you.”

“But you’re not me,” Mrs. Park replies swiftly. She then reaches up and uses both her hands to squish Chanyeol’s cheeks, “How can you look at this face and not see a baby. My lovely baby boy.”

“Mom, you’re embarrassing me,” Chanyeol flushes, eyes glancing at Baekhyun next to him. Baekhyun bits his bottom lip, clearly trying to contain his laughter. Chanyeol sighs and continues, “In front of my boyfriend at that.”

“Mom, stop it,” Yoora pulls her mother towards her, “Keep doing that and Baekhyun might realise how much of momma’s boy Chanyeol is,” Chanyeol glares at his sister, but Yoora doesn’t pay attention towards him and whispers, “You don’t want your son to be single, do you?”

“I think I already know all that,” Baekhyun says, feeling so fond at this giant of a man in front of him, “He might be a momma’s boy, might be a big baby, might be a little bit of a geek but-” he pauses when Chanyeol gasps, offended that Baekhyun’s not taking his side. Baekhyun’s smile widen.

“A whole lot of geek, but he’s my geek.”

At that, Chanyeol’s face softens. His smile is bright when he looks at Baekhyun, and his hand is warm when he takes Baekhyun’s hand in his and kissed it. Baekhyun feels his heart swell at that gesture. For a moment, it feels like they’re an actual couple. That this isn’t pretend. Just like the good ol’ times.

Chanyeol then brings Baekhyun closer to him by hooking his other arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder and gives him a kiss on the top of his head.

Definitely doesn’t feel like pretending at all.

“Okay everyone!” Somin squeals, clapping her hands “Minseok’s here! Get ready!”

Someone turns off the light and everyone goes quiet. A few moments later, they all hear voices in the hallway, and when the voices get to the living room, the lights are on again and everyone yells, “Surprise!”

Kim Minseok looks shocked. Baekhyun can tell that he is overwhelmed by the crowd suddenly cheering and yelling happy birthday at him, but he recovers quickly because Somin has her hands around him and pulls him into a kiss. He visibly relaxes, mutters thank you to her before greeting everyone else.

Somin looks so relieved that her plan works, so Baekhyun congratulates her for her hard work. She beams.

The party goes on smoothly. Somin brings Minseok to greet them and Baekhyun finds that despite Minseok’s success, he’s actually very humble and shy. Baekhyun could tell that he’s introverted, considering that Somin does most of the talking. Most importantly, Baekhyun sees how much he loves her, and how much he admires her.

Somin is so lucky.

Baekhyun feels a hand wrapped around his waist. He knows right away that it’s Chanyeol’s but the intimacy hits him like a truck. Chanyeol has his arm wrapped around Baekhyun’s shoulders initially, but Chanyeol seems to have gotten so comfortable that he unconsciously moves his arm. He’s always possessive, touchy, clingy – and Baekhyun loves it. He remembers how Chanyeol used to need to touch him at any time and Baekhyun never stopped him because there’s nothing he loved more that Chanyeol’s hands on him, around him.

Baekhyun’s smile falter at the memory.

This is wrong. They’re not together anymore. There should be a line that they shouldn’t cross – touching included. Baekhyun needs to do something because he too, is getting too comfortable with this. The further he is from the reality, the bigger the chance of him getting hurt when this weekend ends.

No matter how much he is enjoying this, how much he loves feeling like they’re together again, this is all pretend. They’re just putting on a façade. A game that he agrees to play with Chanyeol.

He looks at Chanyeol who is immersed in a conversation with Minseok. Baekhyun feels his heart hurt when he realises that while it feels like this man is his, he’s actually not. Chanyeol is so good at pretending that Baekhyun forgets about their game. He forgets that he’s not actually Chanyeol’s boyfriend anymore. He forgets that this is their deal, and Chanyeol is just doing his part of the deal.

That they’re not in love anymore. They’re not together anymore. That none of this is real.

It’s so easy to forget the bitter history between them when Chanyeol is so convincing. It’s so easy to forget why he’s here at the first place. It’s so easy to forget to pretend.

But this moment right here, this is the happiest he’s been in a while.

He shouldn’t forget. It’s dangerous. He should not forget.

But he really, really wants to.

///

Baekhyun manages to get out of the conversation by saying that he needs to use the bathroom. However, as he walks, he then makes a turn to the balcony as he desperately needs some fresh air.

There, he finds Junmyeon, sitting on one of the chairs and seemingly in deep thought.

“Hey,” Baekhyun greets. Junmyeon looks up at the sound of his voice and smiles.

“Hey yourself.”

“Why aren’t you inside?”

“Didn’t feel like talking to anyone,” Junmyeon answers honestly, earning a chuckle from Baekhyun, “You?”

“Same.”

Junmyeon nods and then darts his gaze to the floor. Baekhyun senses that something is off with Junmyeon today. Sadness practically radiates from him in waves. He’s not his usual cheery self, and it’s unlike him to suddenly isolate himself from the party and lets conversations die when someone talks to him.

Something is definitely off, but Baekhyun doesn’t think it’s his place to pry. He has a feeling that Junmyeon doesn’t want to talk about it either.

“Do you need to be alone?” Baekhyun asks, “Because I can go. I don’t want to bother you.”

“No,” Junmyeon lightly grabs Baekhyun’s arm when Baekhyun gets up from his seat, “No. Please stay. Don’t mind me.”

Baekhyun pauses before he sits down again. They then sit in comfortable silence. Just minding their own thoughts, not saying anything.

“I’m so glad you and Chanyeol have made up.” Junmyeon suddenly says.

Baekhyun freezes.

“W- what do you mean?”

“Chanyeol told me that you two had a big fight,” Junmyeon says, eyebrows furrowed when Baekhyun appears confused, “I didn’t mean to pry, I swear. It’s just that there’s this one time when Chanyeol wasn’t like himself. And you never came around anymore, so I thought of the worst.” Junmyeon looks at Baekhyun guiltily, “I thought you two broke up so I asked him about you. He said you two had a misunderstanding, but I guess it’s all good now, huh?”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything.

Junmyeon is worried, “Are you mad? I’m sorry for assuming the worst. It’s none of my business, I know. I was just worried about Chanyeol and he’s just – he completely shut down at that time and it wasn’t like him at him and I was just worried…”

“Junmyeon,” Baekhyun interrupts, “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Junmyeon sighs, relieved that Baekhyun isn’t angry. He then darts his eyes to the sky, and Baekhyun knows that he’s in his own world again.

So Junmyeon notices that something is off. Baekhyun’s not surprised because Junmyeon is one of Chanyeol’s closest friend, someone that Chanyeol looks up to and someone whom he considers his older brother. Junmyeon is a good friend so of course he’d notice the changes and ask Chanyeol about it to make sure that he’s okay. Baekhyun suspects that Chanyeol must have panicked and created a story about a fight.

Sometimes Baekhyun wonders why it’s so difficult for Chanyeol to just tell everyone that they don’t work out – that the relationship ended and they both went their separate ways.

“Sometimes I envy you two.”

Baekhyun turns to his side, “Why?”

“You two always make it work, y’know? You complete Chanyeol. He’s the happiest, the best version of himself when he’s with you. You two are more than just a couple – you’re a team, and I find that admirable. I know that to some, that’s the bare minimum that couples do but,” Junmyeon chuckles bitterly, “Some of us can’t do that.”

Baekhyun frowns. Junmyeon looks so upset that there are tears in his eyes. He’s not crying, but Baekhyun knows that he’s holding it in.

Junmyeon is hurting.

“Did something happen with Joohyun?”

Joohyun is Junmyeon’s girlfriend for four years. They met during their final year in university and have dated ever since then. Come to think of it, only now Baekhyun realises that Junmyeon is here alone. This is a rare sight because those two are inseparable – there’s hardly any event when Junmyeon doesn’t have Joohyun by his side.

“Can’t you tell? We broke up.” Junmyeon replies, trying to sound casual but he looks too upset for it to be believable, “She just… left.” his voice break, but then he clears his throat, refusing to let his emotion show in front of Baekhyun, “It’s no big deal. People date and break up all the time – it’s really not a big deal. Not a big deal.”

But it is a big deal. Junmyeon keeps repeating it more to himself than Baekhyun but no matter how many times he repeats it, it still feels like a big deal.

When two people were together for as long as Junmyeon and Joohyun were and have loved each other so deeply and freely, it is a big deal when they break up. The break up has got to hurt a lot. It is the worst kind of pain because your heart is breaking and you can’t stop it. It is going to keep on breaking.

Junmyeon tries to cover the wound. Pretend that it doesn’t exist. He tries to ignore its existence but it’s there and demands to be felt. That’s how break up wounds are like – there’s no running from it.

The only way to start healing is to face it.

Baekhyun knows this.

“Junmyeon, I’m so sorry.”

Junmyeon shakes his head, “No, don’t be sorry. We’re just not meant to be, so…”

Junmyeon sighs. Baekhyun has never seen him this dejected. It’s not like Junmyeon to ever show that he’s upset. He’s always the kind of person who puts a brave front for the sake of the people around him. He tries to cheer everyone up when he senses that the mood is down, he takes the lead when he needs to, he gives life to dead conversations, and he gives advice when someone needs it.

For him to lose all strength like this, Baekhyun feels his heart break for Junmyeon.

“Don’t be like us, okay?” Junmyeon suddenly says, startling Baekhyun, “You and Chanyeol, I mean. Don’t be like us. If anything happens between you two, talk it out. Don’t assume things, don’t make decisions for one another. Make decisions together,” Junmyeon sighs, “Just… he loves you so much, Baekhyun. It’s the greatest love I’ve ever seen. I had that kind of love but I lost it. I don’t want you two to lose it.”

Baekhyun feels like someone has his heart in the palm of their hands and squeezes.

“Junmyeon, Chanyeol and I… we – we’re not…” Baekhyun starts, the urge to tell Junmyeon the truth is overwhelming, but words die in his throat when Junmyeon looks at him, calm, yet dejected.

“Baekhyun, don’t,” he says. Baekhyun waits for him to elaborate, but Junmyeon just sighs, “I just need to believe in something, okay? Just…” he takes a deep breath, “Don’t say anything else.”

Baekhyun doesn’t understand what Junmyeon means by that.

After a while, Junmyeon seems to has gotten his emotions in check. He takes a deep breath and exhales, and then gets up from his seat.

“Just so you know, Chanyeol told me that you’re the one. He never says that about anyone else. Just about you. So, if you have any doubts about him, just know that he says that. And until today, I know he believes that.”

Junmyeon then smiles and walks away, leaving Baekhyun with even more questions than before.

///

“How did you two meet?” Chanyeol asks Somin and Minseok. He’s alone with them now because his mother and sister are off bothering other people and Baekhyun is still not back from the bathroom. At his question, Minseok wraps his arm around Somin’s waist and smiles.

“My company had to seal a deal with Somin’s company and she was there as a representative because the one in charge was down with fever. We got to talking and things just escalated from there.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Somin rolls her eyes, but there’s no bite in her tone. She sounds amused.

“Isn’t it easy?” Minseok asks, “It is to me. I know I like you the moment I saw you. I get to know you and I learn that you’re beautiful inside and out. I know from our first date that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It really is easy.”

Chanyeol smiles, “That’s cute.”

“I know,” Minseok replies smugly.

“What he’s saying, Chanyeol,” Somin’s is blushing, but she looks so happy that she’s radiant, “It is easy because he never gives up. Minseok is so…” she looks at her fiancé, “adamant in making this work. He stays even when I try to push him away. He accepts my flaws even when I don’t accept them myself. He loves me despite me annoying him every single day. No one’s ever love me like he does.”

Somin sighs as she caresses Minseok’s cheek, “You think it’s easy for us. I think we’re so lucky we found each other.”

Chanyeol is happy for them. He knows Somin since he was little so he knows how Somin feels about love and marriage. Despite her being an active businesswoman, Chanyeol knows that deep inside, Somin is still that little girl who wants a big family whom she can dot on, still that little girl who believes that there’s a man out there who will sweep her off her feet and loves her unconditionally.

He’s happy that Somin’s dream came true.

Chanyeol then scans the room, watching his family members and Somin’s and Minseok’s friends play some game at the table. Some of them are eating and dancing, but the crowd is mostly at the table. He searches for Baekhyun but he’s nowhere to be seen.

That’s weird. What’s taking him so long at the toilet?

He’s about to get up to search for him when he sees a familiar face among one of the workers who are busy cleaning the tables.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol whispers before getting up and making his way towards the man. Kyungsoo has his back on Chanyeol now and he is carrying a tray of empty glasses and plates to take back to the kitchen. He doesn’t notice Chanyeol approaching, so he then walks towards the kitchen. Chanyeol has to speed up to catch up with him.

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol calls. Kyungsoo stops in his tracks just before he enters the kitchen. He turns around, eyes widen at the sight of Chanyeol.

“What’re you doing here?” Kyungsoo asks. Before Chanyeol gets to answer, a woman comes out of the kitchen, wearing the same uniform as Kyungsoo. She stops when she sees Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, her eyes looking back and forth from Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, worried that she’s interrupting a moment.

“Um, do you need help with that?” she finally asks as she eyes the tray full of empty plates and glasses that Kyungsoo is holding, “I can get that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kyungsoo says, “I’m getting there anyway.”

“It’s okay. You go talk to your friend,” she grins, “We’re just finishing up anyway, so you can take a break. You’ve been working non-stop – I’m sure Yixing would understand.”

She then takes the tray from Kyungsoo’s hand and nudges him toward Chanyeol. Kyungsoo blushes at that, probably embarrassed by her action, but Chanyeol doesn’t think much about it. He smiles and says, “So, you’re working here now?”

“Not here. I’m working with a catering service now. My friend, Yixing, offers more money than the restaurant so I took it,” Kyungsoo replies nonchalantly, visibly more relaxed now because he gets to take a break, “The night we met was actually my last shift.”

“Oh? You didn’t tell me that!”

“It’s not exactly the most interesting information?” Kyungsoo laughs, “I got a better part-time job offer, I took it. Not a big deal.”

“I see,” Chanyeol nods in understanding, “Well, it’s nice to see you here!”

“Are they your family?” Kyungsoo eyes the crowd playing the game, “They’re really nice people. They saw how tired I was just now and said I should take a rest. Not a lot of rich people care about the workers.”

Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo. He notices that there are bags under his eyes, his skin is pale and his cheeks sunken. He knows that Kyungsoo has been working non-stop so he must have been tired.  However, the thing is, Chanyeol doesn’t think that Kyungsoo realises that he’s tired. His eyes are still bright and cheerful, and he seems to find joy in the littlest things – even if it’s from just watching Chanyeol’s sister screaming in joy after winning the game.

The last bit makes Chanyeol smile too.

“She’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah, she is. Yoora’s beautiful.”

“Let me guess. She’s your sister?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yes. How do you know?”

“I can tell,” Kyungsoo grins at Chanyeol, “Beauty runs in the family, I see.”

Chanyeol sputters, embarrassed by the sudden compliment. Kyungsoo seems satisfied by his reaction, so he laughs and playfully punches Chanyeol’s arm. They playfully bicker, talk for a bit before moving towards the dining room. Chanyeol then goes to get Kyungsoo something to drink and then they start talking about their day. Kyungsoo fills Chanyeol in on his work, Yixing, and his studies, while Chanyeol tells him stories about his family.

Talking to Kyungsoo is nice, Chanyeol thinks. It’s been a while since he meets someone he clicks with, so it’s nice to just chill and talk and get to know each other. Kyungsoo is fun too. His appearance can be deceiving because it’s so easy to assume that he’s serious all the time, but Chanyeol loves how easily Kyungsoo opens up to him.

He can get used to this.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo gets so absorbed into the conversation that Chanyeol doesn’t realise that Baekhyun has just entered the living room.

And from the living room, he can see the dining area, and he can see Chanyeol with Kyungsoo.

He stares, drinking the scene in.

And then he walks away.

///

The ride back to the hotel is silent.

Chanyeol’s mother decided to stay at Yoora’s hotel for the night, so there’s only Chanyeol and Baekhyun at the backseat of the car. Chanyeol notices that Baekhyun, for some reason he doesn’t know, is giving him the cold shoulder. He has no idea what he did wrong because after talking to Kyungsoo, he went straight to Baekhyun who at that time was sitting alone on the couch.

But Baekhyun didn’t speak much. He gave him one-worded answers, froze when Chanyeol touched him, only let him hold his hand when everyone’s looking and immediately dropped his hand when no one’s paying attention to them, and all in all, tried to stay as far away from Chanyeol as possible.

Even now, Baekhyun sits so close to the door, putting as much distance between them as he can.

The rain starts to pour, so Chanyeol sits quietly and listens to the sound of the rain. Chanyeol winces when he hears the storm – and judging from the steady raindrops, Chanyeol can tell that there’s going to be thunder and lightning tonight – and he absolutely hates that.

He looks at Baekhyun, suddenly feeling a serious urge to get closer to him for comfort. But Baekhyun’s body language practically screams “leave me alone”, so Chanyeol just curls in on himself and looks outside – immediately closing his eyes when he sees lightning.

Goodness, he hates the sight of lightning and the loudness of thunder. He can’t handle them. He’s afraid of them.

But from the looks of it, he has to deal with it the whole night anyway. That, added with Baekhyun’s silence, Chanyeol knows he’s in for a long, miserable night ahead of him.

///

Baekhyun doesn’t speak to him at all when they’re getting ready for bed. The moment he steps foot into the hotel room, he goes straight to get his clothes and then locks himself in the bathroom. He takes a long shower, leaving Chanyeol pacing the room thinking and replaying the things they do at the party to try to understand why Baekhyun is acting this way.

Did he go too far? Is Baekhyun mad about the touching? Is Baekhyun freaking out because of the comments that Yoora made about them? Is he having second thoughts?

And when Baekhyun gets out of the bathroom, he simply tells Chanyeol to freshen up and go to bed. Chanyeol only nods obediently before entering the bathroom to take a quick shower just like Baekhyun tells him to.

When he gets out, all dressed in his sweatpants and oversized shirt, he finds that Baekhyun’s already on the couch. He is typing something on his phone and then laugh when whoever he’s texting replies.

“Good night, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol tests the waters.

Baekhyun’s laughter dies down, and he doesn’t say anything.

And this is when Chanyeol decides he’s had enough.

“Baek… did I do something wrong?” he asks, walking towards the couch where Baekhyun is lying in his thick blanket, “Because if I did, tell me so I can apologize. I’m driving myself crazy thinking about what I might have done to hurt you – and I really don’t want you to go to sleep while being angry at me.”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun sighs – Chanyeol feels a sudden rush of relief wash over him at the sound of Baekhyun’s voice saying his name, “I’m not in the mood, so can we just? Let it go?”

He then turns his attention to his phone, ignoring Chanyeol again.

Chanyeol can’t accept this.

He then makes his way towards Baekhyun and pulls the blanket off him, earning a yelp from Baekhyun. Baekhyun tries to grab the blanket from Chanyeol, but Chanyeol is faster and puts it behind him, away from Baekhyun’s reach.

“We’re talking. Now.”

Baekhyun glares at him, “You don’t think you’ve done enough talking today?”

His voice practically drips with venom, which would hurt Chanyeol if he knows the cause of it. Now, he’s just confused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I saw you talking to that guy, y’know. One of Somin’s caterers? I saw you two talking, so I think you’ve done enough talking for one night – and I don’t want to listen to you,” Baekhyun hisses, “Good night.” He gets up from the couch and grabs the blanket, tries to pull it out of Chanyeol’s hands but Chanyeol refuses to let go.

“I don’t understand.” Chanyeol pulls the blanket to him, much to Baekhyun’s dismay, “You’re mad because I talk too much?”

“No! And I don’t want to talk about it! It’s stupid and I’m tired and I just want to sleep this day off, okay?” Baekhyun snaps and yanks his blanket away from Chanyeol.

But Chanyeol is just as stubborn.

He pulls the blanket towards him and practically pulls Baekhyun to him too. Baekhyun almost loses his footing, but he gets himself together just before his face bumps into Chanyeol’s chest. Baekhyun wants to curse, but the look of Chanyeol’s face stops him.

Chanyeol actually looks angry right now. Baekhyun finds himself ready to step backwards.

“If you want your blanket, start talking.”

It’s unlike Chanyeol to be as stubborn as he is now. Baekhyun’s usually the stubborn one and Chanyeol usually would go along with whatever he wants. To have Chanyeol asserting his say in this matter annoys Baekhyun to hell and back, but he understands that the faster they talk it out, the easier it is going to be for both of them.

Baekhyun wants to be stubborn and ignores Chanyeol, but he’s had a long day. Right now, he just really, really wants to sleep.

“Did you forget about my rules?” Baekhyun painstakingly says, refusing to look at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol’s expression falters.

“Your rules?”

“I have three rules, haven’t I?”

“I know. I remember.”

“What are they?”

“I’m paying for everything. I have to attend to whatever you want. No flirting at the wedding.” Chanyeol recites obediently. He remembers them very well because he intends to follow them. He’s not going to do anything to make Baekhyun upset.

“The third one. You broke the third – you know what? It’s stupid. I don’t want to talk about it.” he turns away, sits on the couch, and curls in on himself, “Forget it.”

, it’s cold.

Baekhyun wants his blanket so much – but if it means having to talk to how bothered he is when he sees Kyungsoo earlier, he’d rather freeze to death.

Chanyeol frowns. When did he break the third rule? He was friendly towards everyone during the party, and Baekhyun didn’t seem mad when they were talking to Minseok and Somin’s friends. Baekhyun’s not stupid. He knows when Chanyeol’s being friendly and flirty, considering that he’s been on the receiving ends for both of it.

Unless…

“Are you talking about Kyungsoo?”

“So that’s his name?” Baekhyun turns to look at Chanyeol.

“Yeah? Did you – “ Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrow, “Did you think I was flirting with him?”

“Chanyeol please, I’m not stupid. I know flirtation when I see one. You’re definitely flirting.”

“I was not!” Chanyeol gasps.

Baekhyun’s eyes narrow, “Deny it all you want. I don’t care. Whatever, Chanyeol. Just give me my bloody blanket and let me sleep. It’s a stupid rule anyway – flirt with whoever the you want.”

Baekhyun gets up again to get the blanket but Chanyeol refuses to budge even when Baekhyun is using all his strength to snatch the blanket from him.

“Baekhyun, are you…” Chanyeol tries to fight a smile forming on his face but to no avail, “Are you jealous?”

“Are you smiling right now?” Baekhyun’s face redden. He looks like a tiny ball of fury and Chanyeol feels his smile grow wider.

Baekhyun is offended by that. “You’re ing smiling.”

“And you’re jealous.”

“I am not jealous!” Baekhyun punches Chanyeol’s chest, hard, “Stop flattering yourself.”

“Then why’re you so mad that I was talking to Kyungsoo?”

“I’m not mad!”

“Well you’re certainly not calm.” Chanyeol replies patiently – so patient that he infuriates Baekhyun.

“You can talk with whoever you want, Chanyeol. I’m just mad I made those rules because clearly no one’s gonna follow them so, just – please, give me back my blanket, I’m cold!’ Baekhyun whines, stomping his feet.

Taking sympathy in him, Chanyeol hands him back his blanket. Baekhyun immediately snatches it away and goes back to curling in the blanket. Chanyeol follows him and sits next to the couch.

“I’m not going away until you talk to me.”

“Then sit there till the next morning because I’m going to sleep.” Baekhyun mumbles under the blanket.

Chanyeol sighs fondly.

“I wasn’t flirting. Although… you shouldn’t be mad because you told me to not flirt with anyone at the wedding. We’re at a birthday party, not the wedding – so I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer, so Chanyeol continues.

“But if you’re uncomfortable, I won’t do it again.” Chanyeol says, “Not that anything is going to happen anyway. Kyungsoo is a friend. Just that.”

He’s not you.

Chanyeol waits for Baekhyun’s answer, but when he doesn’t, Chanyeol takes it as his cue to leave.

But before he gets to back, he hears Baekhyun say something. He turns back and asks, “What was that?”

Baekhyun pulls the blanket just enough to show his eyes.

“Thank you.”

Chanyeol smiles. He then gets to his bed but before he reaches the bed, lightning strikes, strong and bright, and Chanyeol practically yelps before jumping under the blanket and holds it over his head.

, why does that have to be so bright?

He’s shaking under the bed. It’s still raining heavily, and lightning strike a few times still. Chanyeol hates it.

He waits. He lies there under the blanket and prays for god knows how long for the rain to stop. He has no idea how he’s going to survive the entire night if it’s going to be like this.

“How does someone so tall can look so small when lightning strikes?”

Chanyeol flails, his hand immediately hit Baekhyun’s jaw in the process, causing the man to be pushed out of the bed. There’s a soft ‘thump’ from the impact of Baekhyun’s fall onto the carpeted floor but Chanyeol barely registers that as the storm rumbles and Chanyeol immediately goes back under the blanket.

“Ow,” Baekhyun whines from the floor.

Chanyeol wants to say sorry, but he doesn’t have it in him to release the blanket just yet because lightning strikes again, accompanied with loud thunder.

He feels the bed dip, so he slowly pulls the blanket down to only reveal his face. He sees Baekhyun looking at him. It’s hard to see his expression because of the darkness.

Much to his surprise, Baekhyun then lies next to him to keep him company.

“Do you… want to get under the blanket?” he starts, but then quickly adds, “Don’t want you to get cold.”

Baekhyun ponders upon that at first. After a moment, he sighs and says, “Okay, but I’m only doing this because you couldn’t stop whining and I can’t sleep if you don’t shut up.”

Both of them know how much Chanyeol hates thunders and lightnings. Back then, Chanyeol would bury himself under the covers until the rains stopped, but when he started dating Baekhyun, his fear subsided a little because Baekhyun always cuddled him and kept him warm during rainy days. It’s easy to forget about the storms outside when Baekhyun’s body was pressed against him, and his lips peppering kisses down his collarbones.

It’s easy to forget about his fears when Baekhyun’s here.

He knows he’s taking a huge step and there’s every possibility that Baekhyun would run away, but Chanyeol moves forward anyway, taking Baekhyun’s hand in his. His fingers are cold against Chanyeol’s warm ones, but it’s still so comforting.

Even after all this time, Baekhyun still feels… right.

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything.

He lets Chanyeol hold his hand.

He’d let Chanyeol hold him if it would make Chanyeol feel better but Chanyeol seems content with this so Baekhyun doesn’t push it.

Chanyeol wants to put his arms around Baekhyun’s smaller body and hold him tight, but he doesn’t want Baekhyun to run away, so he settles with just holding his hand.

“You should go to sleep.” Baekhyun whispers.

“I should, but I can’t.” Chanyeol says, playing with Baekhyun’s fingers. His fingers are beautiful. Chanyeol has always loved his fingers.

“I can’t sleep too.” Baekhyun replies, “Was about too, but then you kept stealing my blanket, and then kept whining on your bed. Now I can’t sleep at all.”

Chanyeol chuckles. It’s dark, but he can imagine that Baekhyun’s pouting.

“I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun sighs, but the way his hands tightens around Chanyeol’s assures him that he doesn’t take it to heart.

They lie in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the rain. Chanyeol squeezes Baekhyun’s hand whenever lightning strikes again, and when he does that, he can feel Baekhyun moving closer to him, as if to try to comfort him.

And it works. He is comforted.

He has no idea how long they lie there, but gradually, the rain starts to stop.

Chanyeol calms down.

It’s more comfortable now. It’s quieter. It’s calmer. And he has Baekhyun by his side.

“Baek, are you sleeping?”

“No. I told you I can’t sleep now.”

“I see,” Chanyeol asks, more relaxed now because the rain has stopped, “May I – may I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“W – were you really jealous of Kyungsoo?”

Chanyeol knows that this might not be the right time to ask the question, but the question haunts him. His heart soars when he thinks about how Baekhyun is jealous but at the same time, he knows that Baekhyun is bothered by that and doesn’t want to be jealous. He feels like there are so many questions between them. Unanswered questions. Questions that he needs to resolve because he doesn’t want his mind to go into overdrive thinking about the what ifs.

He hates what ifs.

Baekhyun takes a moment to answer, but then he says, “I don’t know.”

“Because you shouldn’t, you know? I mean…”

“I know I shouldn’t, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun cuts Chanyeol’s words, “Don’t remind me. You can date whoever you want and I shouldn’t care. I know that.” Baekhyun sighs, “Just… it’s kind of weird seeing you with another man. You have to give me some time to get used to it. I’m happy for you, really, but I just need some time to not feel weird, okay?”

“Why do you feel weird though? Do you…” Chanyeol trails off.

… still have feelings for me?

“I don’t know. It’s been a weird night. We pretended to be a couple and it was really… believable. It almost felt like you’re…” Baekhyun chuckles, “like you’re my boyfriend again. I guess that’s why it’s weird seeing you with Kyungsoo. Maybe it’s the effect from all the pretending. I’m not used to doing this, y’know?”

Baekhyun sighs, “But if you like Kyungsoo, go for it. I got your back if you need… tips or tricks. We both know you need one.”

Chanyeol knows Baekhyun means the last bit as a joke, but his heart sinks anyway. He wants to tell Baekhyun that he has nothing to worry about because Kyungsoo is a friend. As for the moment, he has no intention of making it move pass that. But Baekhyun seems adamant on him moving on, completely shattering Chanyeol’s hope that maybe someday… maybe…

Chanyeol gathers himself together before he lets his mind wander further.

But… is Baekhyun right? Was he flirting? Maybe he’s flirting without realising it? Should he try to see how things would progress with Kyungsoo?

“You deserve to be happy, Chanyeol. I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy when I’m with you.” Chanyeol says simply.

Baekhyun doesn’t answer.

“May I ask you something?” Baekhyun asks after a while.

“Sure.”

“When we broke up, did you… did you think that you’re pulling me down? That you’re holding me back?”

Chanyeol frowns, “Baekhyun, why are we having this conversation again?”

“Just humour me. I swear I won’t be a baby about it and I won’t get upset.”

Baekhyun knows that he’s stepping in a dangerous territory. That Chanyeol might get upset like he was back at the restaurant. But this is a question that has been haunting him the whole day and night.

He needs to know.

Chanyeol is reluctant to answer, but he can tell that Baekhyun’s going to prod him with the question until he gives an answer.

“Well, yeah. Baek, you’re going places. Your sole focus then was supposed to be only your career. I didn’t want you to lose out on opportunities because you want to be with me. You’re not slick, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says, “I’ve seen the letters, and Sehun told me about how you’re thinking of rejecting some offers because you felt like you’d be away for too long. You put me first, and I’m happy that you did. But at that time, I did what I had to do. I was the deadweight, so I left. I love you the most, so I put you first, even if putting you first wasn’t what you wanted from me back then.”

Baekhyun remains silent.

Chanyeol wonders if he’s upset.

But before Chanyeol gets to open his mouth to ask, Baekhyun finally says, “I understand,” he sighs, “And I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Sorry for my actions back then. Sorry for lashing out on you, for making you think that you’re holding me back.” Baekhyun lets out the thing that’s been haunting him since last night, “I’ve been thinking and reflecting, and it did… it did feel like it at first, but when you’re gone, I realised that you’re my anchor. You didn’t pull me down. You kept me grounded. Without you, I felt like a lost kite in the sky. I felt so alone.”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath, “I was so scared. I love my job, but it was scary. I had you, but then I lost you. It was the scariest moment of my life. I was alone, Chanyeol. You left me alone.”

Baekhyun sounds so upset that Chanyeol wants nothing more than to pull him into a hug to comfort him.

But he reminds himself that this is Baekhyun. His ex. The love of his life. His ex. His ex – so he can’t do that. He needs to keep his distance.

“I did it for you.” Chanyeol replies lamely.

“I’m glad you did. If it’s not for you, I wouldn’t even think of doing half the things I did. But I never want to feel alone like that anymore. Never again.”

“You won’t.” Chanyeol tightens his grip, moving closer to Baekhyun “I’m here now.”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer. But Chanyeol then feels his hand on his face, caressing his cheek. Baekhyun is so close now. Chanyeol can feel his breath on his face, feel his body heat radiating from him and heating Chanyeol’s body too. Chanyeol wants him to be this close. He doesn’t remember the last time Baekhyun is this close.

He doesn’t want Baekhyun to go far from him ever again.

“Yeah, you’re here.”