After a four-hour train ride home, the majority of which Sakura spent dozing off on Kazuha’s shoulder, they’re back at their apartment in Tokyo. Hana-chan rushes to greet them, meowing loudly. Kazuha scoops her up, showering her with kisses while mumbling apologies for leaving her alone for so long. Then they both disappear into the kitchen.  

Sakura stands in the corridor, stunned by how everything feels so perfectly…normal. Her dad isn’t waiting for her to tell her, ‘I know what you did in Osaka.’ Kaname isn’t greeting them with a sneer, ‘You’re just using the poor girl, Sakura. Admit it, you’re no better than me’. 

Of course, it’s ridiculous to think any of that would happen, but then, if someone told her two months ago that she would be kissing Kazuha in Osaka on a high school soccer field where they’d met years ago as kids, she would have found the idea equally, if not more, outrageous. At this point, she assumes anything is possible.

Still, there’s no dad, no Kaname; instead, there’s Kazuha announcing from the kitchen that they forgot to take out the trash. Chuckling under her breath, Sakura drops her bag and toes off her sneakers.

“We’ll take it out on our way to the training,” she says as she enters the kitchen and goes to grab a carton of orange juice from the fridge.

Kazuha hums in agreement, setting a bowl with fresh water on the floor for Hana-chan to drink. She observes the cat for a moment with a smile before she looks over to Sakura. “By the way, how are you feeling? You seemed pretty tired on the train. Couldn’t sleep?”

“Nah, I slept fine,” Sakura replies as she pours the juice into a glass on the counter. It actually surprised her how well she slept, but she guesses it had something to do with how the PJs Kazuha gave her smelled just like her, and that apparently had a calming effect on her. “I guess it’s because of how early we had to get up.” She takes a sip of the juice, but upon tasting it’s off flavor and fizziness, she immediately spits it out into the sink.

“Went bad?” Kazuha winces next to her.

Nodding, Sakura wipes and pours out the reminder of the juice into the sink.

“Let’s go grocery shopping after the training.”

“Yeah,” Sakura agrees, and then blinks as the realization hits her that they’ve never gone grocery shopping together before.

Is this who we are now? Girlfriends living together, raising a cat, doing groceries, and so on? She wonders, because that’s how this feels.

Kazha stares back at her with her head slanted to the side. “What?”

It seems obvious that the girl isn’t going through a similar revelation, and so Sakura just shakes her head. “Nothing.”

Kazuha chuckles, then she reaches her hand and, using her thumb, gently wipes the corner of Sakura’s lips, as if that’s the most natural thing for her to do. As if for her, there’s nothing to wonder about, and everything is already clear. 

“We should get going if we don’t want to be late,” she says, smiling softly.

Sakura only nods, too afraid to ask any questions in case all of this is just in her head.

 

🌸🍃

 

What if Kazuha told Yunjin? A startling thought occurs to Sakura as they enter the locker room. 

She’s pretty sure Kazuha told Yunjin about their almost kiss at the bar, so she feels justified in thinking she might have shared with her what happened yesterday as well. The two have become pretty close friends, and those are the kinds of topics that close friends tend to discuss with each other, right?

The more she thinks about it, the more her chest constricts, and when she greets Chaewon and Yunjin, her voice comes off a little strained, as does her smile. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she observes the blonde as she puts on her yellow jersey and then starts tying her cleats. There’s nothing to her behavior that would suggest she knows more than she lets on; neither curiosity laced glances nor any suggestive remarks are thrown Sakura’s way. 

Everything seems perfectly normal…

The swelling anxiety slowly begins to fade away, and by the time their training begins, Sakura’s completely focused on what Coach Takahashi is saying. She only glances once towards the stands to confirm her dad’s presence, and indeed, he’s there, watching her with his standard impassive expression on his worn-out face.

Nothing has changed, she notes to herself again.

During their short break, Yunjin and Chaewon become inseparable, as usual. Sakura watches them from afar as she sits on the grass, hands propped behind her and legs stretched out. 

They sit alone on the substitution bench, shielded from the autumn sun. Well, to be exact, it’s Yunjin who sits on the bench while Chaewon sits on her lap, their foreheads pressed together as they stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. The midfielder fixes her girlfriend’s hair and, in exchange, receives a chaste peck on the lips.

Sakura looks away from them with a groan. “They should get a room, or something.”

Her reaction elicits a chuckle from Kazuha, who sits cross-legged beside her. “Well, at least they aren’t openly making out in the middle of the field,” she mutters under her breath.

Sakura’s face heats up in embarrassment. For a second, she worries Kazuha is being reproachful, admonishing her hypocrisy and maybe her actions in general, but as she glances sideways at the girl, she notices the playful smirk on her lips.

She’s…teasing me… The thought brings a sense of comfort and relief. If Kazuha can joke about what happened, then Sakura can safely assume she doesn’t regret it.

“Maybe that’s just ‘cause they aren’t alone,” Sakura throws back in a whisper.

Kazuha clicks her tongue and grins. “Touché.”

Just then, coach Takahashi calls them for a meeting to discuss tomorrow’s match.

Standing up, Kazuha reaches out a hand to Sakura, who grabs it and lets herself be pulled up to her feet. But the girl seems to have underestimated her own strength, as Sakura almost stumbles into her. With barely any space between them, Sakura can count the golden specks in Kazuha’s eyes, reflecting in the midday sun, and feel the heat emanating from her flushed cheeks. 

It’s really such a shame they aren’t alone right now. Otherwise, she would have already closed that last gap between them...

She flinches back at these thoughts, shoving them aside before their mental image has a chance to fully register in her mind. But Kazuha isn’t exactly helping her as she leans in.

“If you keep looking at me like this, we’ll be the ones searching for a room,” she whispers just above Sakura’s blazing, red ear, then simply walks right past her.

Sakura blinks as her brain short-circuits, and her heart beats so hard it’s a miracle it hasn’t leaped out of her chest yet. Who knows how long she would just stand there, glitching like an overheated robot, if Kazuha hadn’t come back for her and, with a tug on her hand, made her move again. 

“Too much? ” Kazuha murmurs worriedly.

Glancing at each other out of the corners of their eyes, they enter the tunnel as the last ones from their team.

Was it too much? Sakura wonders. Was it even the words that got her so worked up, or rather the fact that Kazuha seemed to have straight up read her mind? Because, really, her problem right now isn’t too much , but rather not enough .

“No,” she replies. “It’s just that, you know, we weren’t alone.”

Realization dawns on Kazuha’s features. “Ah, I’m so—”

“No. Don’t apologize,” Sakura intejects her, touching her arm. “It’s fine.”

She can’t blame the girl for crossing a boundary of which she was unaware. Maybe she just assumed they would be like Yunjin and Chaewon. They haven’t discussed it after all. Hell, they haven’t even named what this thing between them is, which is something they should probably do. But— 

The idea of them talking about it grips Sakura with such sudden fear that she finds it hard to breathe for a moment. The feeling coils itself around like thorny vines, tight and painful.

Not now. Not yet.

“Are you sure?” Kazuha double checks, brows still knitted in concern.

“Y-yeah,” Sakura  mutters, her voice raspy, and she clears . “I just wonder who taught you to smooth talk like that.” She tries humor to defuse the situation, and it seems to work as Kazuha’s lips curl up.

“No one. I’m a natural.” She brings her palm to her face, slotting her chin between her forefinger and her thumb, and shoots Sakura a wink.

“Somehow I find this hard to believe,” Sakura says, her tone a vocal eye-roll.

Kazuha laughs, opening the door for her when they reach the conference room. And as they sit down on the black plastic chairs at the back of the room, shoulder to shoulder, Sakura ponders that maybe they don’t have to talk about it. Maybe they can just take it for what it is and see where it goes. Kazuha sure doesn’t seem to mind such an approach, seeing how quickly she has adapted to these new rules .

And the team doesn’t have to know. It’s not their business, anyway. Plus, this way, there’s less chance for her dad and coach Ikeda to find out, too. And maybe, once they win the World Cup together, she’ll be able to tell her dad. Surely then he’ll understand. They could have a dinner together. And maybe even mom would join them.

Maybe… It’s all just a maybe…

 

🌸🍃

 

The strategy meeting comes to an end. With Kazuha back on the team, they’re expected to play their aggressive two strikers style again. No surprises there. What does surprise Sakura, though, is Yumi walking their way. She sits down on an empty chair next to Kazuha before they’re able to leave their seats.

“Hey, Kazuha,” Yumi says in a high-pitched, cutesy voice Sakura has never heard from her before. Then she throws Sakura a glance, like she’s some annoying fly she’d like to swat away. 

The feeling is mutual.

“Hey, what’s up, Yumi?” Kazuha offers the girl a friendly smile.

Sakura tries to ignore the sting of jealousy.

“I was just wondering whether you have any plans for today’s evening? And if not, then maybe you would like to go and see a movie?” Yumi bats her long eyelashes and puckers her lips a little.

If she had longer hair instead of her messy pixie cut, Sakura imagines, she would twirl them right now. 

“What do you think?” 

She blinks, noticing Kazuha’s questioning gaze on her, but then Yumi touches her arm, drawing her attention back to herself. “I was hoping it’d be just the two of us, you know, like a date.”

“Date?” Kazuha echoes, puzzled. “Oh, actually, you see...” she trails off, looking back and forth between Sakura and Yumi.

“We already have plans,” Sakura answers for her with a stilted smile. 

Yumi’s peppy expression fades as she fails to mask her annoyance, her jaw shifting and nostrils flaring. “Is there like something going on between you two? You’re always together,” she squeaks out in frustration.

"Well, maybe that’s because we play in the same position and also happen to live together.” Sakura stands up from her chair, done with this conversation, and ready to head back to the locker room.

Kazuha is about to follow her, but Yumi grabs her arm again. “So perhaps we could meet some other time?” She coos sweetly at the girl.

Geez, she doesn’t give up, does she? Sakura folds her arms and grits her teeth, looking away from the two. She knows she can’t complain, though. If she wants to keep this thing between her and Kazuha a secret, she has to accept that situations like this may happen.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We should just stay friends, Yumi. Sorry,” Kazuha says brusquely and shoots up from her chair. “Come on, Sakura. Let’s go.”

Sakura and Yumi exchange one last glare before Sakura runs to catch up to the speed-walking Kazuha, who looks uncharacteristically pensive and unsettled, her eyebrows drawn together and her lips a thin line.

Later, when they’re at the supermarket doing their grocery shopping, Kazuha tells Sakura she’s going to search for something. As to what that something is, Sakura has no idea because Kazuha mumbled those words in such haste that she couldn’t understand her.

Pushing the shopping cart through the aisle with some domestic detergents, Sakura stares at its shelves without really registering what’s standing on them. It bothers her that she can’t tell what has upset Kazuha so much.

Was it Yumi? Or was it something I said? The thought slips away as she notices Kazuha standing in front of a shelf with all sorts of salty snacks (she hasn’t even noticed when she changed aisles), lost in thought while holding a bag of chips in her hand.

“Zuha?” She calls out as she approaches her carefully. The girl flinches, staring at her like she’s surprised to see her here. “Has my spacing out started to rub off on you? I guess we may be spending too much time together, huh?” She chuckles. 

Kazuha’s shoulders slump, and she almost drops the bag of chips. “You don’t want to spend time with me?” she asks, face crumbling like she’s about to burst into tears.

“What? No, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that,” Sakura quickly assures, but it does absolutely nothing to comfort Kazuha, and her eyes begin to swim with tears. 

Great, I’ve already made her cry. 

Sakura bites the inside of her cheek. Maybe Kazuha would be better off going on a date with Yumi, after all. Someone who wouldn’t think twice about hugging her in a public place.

Yet as she thinks about it, something twists inside her. The idea that someone else could be hugging Kazuha, kissing her, touching her is driving her insane. Is she being selfish? Maybe. Probably. But she can’t help it.

She leaves the shopping cart and marches to Kazuha, pulling her into a hug. “I was just joking,” she says softly against Kazuha’s dark hair. “I’m sorry. I want to spend time with you. Really, I do. That was dumb, what I’ve just said. Please forget about it.” She wraps her arms tighter around the girl, relieved when she finally reciprocates the hug. 

For a moment, they stand in silence, just embracing each other, until Kazuha pulls away and gently bumps their foreheads together. “Okay, but it won’t be that easy,” she says, and all of a sudden there’s this glint of mischief in her eyes.

Sakura’s pulse quickens as a stubborn thought registers at the back of her mind that, any second, someone may enter the aisle and see them. Their teammate. Their coach. Her dad. Clutching Kazuha’s hips, she tries to tune it out as best as she can. 

“I’ll come up with something for you to make it up to me.” Kazuha’s lips tug up in a smirk.

“Should I be scared?” Sakura croaks out, the scent of jasmine making her head spin, and so she holds on even tighter.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Kazuha winks before stepping away from her and throwing the bag of chips into their cart. 

Bracing her hand against the shelf, Sakura exhales. At this rate, she’s not even sure if she’s going to live to see the World Cup. Then again, being seduced to death by Nakamura Kazuha is hardly the worst way to leave this world. 

She grabs a bag of popcorn from the shelf, almost bursting the package with how hard she grips it, and catches up to Kazuha. The girl glances at her with the most annoying, smug expression on her pretty face, earning herself a nudge on the shoulder for it. 

“Zuha, Kkura!” A familiar voice exclaims from behind them.

They turn around and see Yunjin waving at them with Chaewon by her side. And just like that, Sakura’s thoughts scramble like some poorly put-together, broken mechanism.

Have they seen us? Is it odd that we’re shopping together for groceries? Have Yunjin and Chaewon done that prior to dating each other–?

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Sakura says as their friends approach them, concealing her internal panic with the most casual smile she can muster.

Kazuha, however, narrows her eyes at her, as if she’s wordlessly asking, ‘Are you okay?’. Perhaps she reads it from her white-knuckled grip on the cart’s handle, or from her rigid posture, or simply she knows her better than Sakura has ever suspected. Either way, she dismisses her concern with a slight shake of her head.

“What a coincidence! I was just about to text you two,” Yunjin announces enthusiastically as their shopping carts almost collide.

“Oh, really?”

Sakura studies the faces of their friends, but neither of them seems particularly suspicious about their presence here. In fact, Chaewon just straight up leaves them to grab some snacks after noticing bags of chips and popcorn in their cart. So maybe this is less of a big deal than she makes it out to be? 

She sighs mentally. Sometimes she wishes there was a switch inside her head that she could just flip to mute all these noisy thoughts. Life would be so much easier then.

“Yeah, we wanted to invite you guys to hang out at our place on Monday. We could play some games and watch a movie? What do you say?”

“Sounds like fun,” Kazuha says, looking at Sakura for confirmation.

Sakura shrugs. “Sure, why not?”

“Awesome! 5 pm sounds fine for you?” Yunjin asks just as Chaewon comes back.

She throws a few bags of snacks into the cart, then slips under Yunjin’s arm, hugging her.  Ever since they started going out, Chaewon has been constantly clinging to the goalkeeper’s side, as if afraid someone is going to steal her away from her. It’s endearing, really. Sakura always knew Chaewon was way more clingy and mushy than she would let on.

“Yeah, 5 pm is okay,” Sakura confirms, and Kazuha seconds her with a nod.

“Cool. By the way, there’s this TikTok I saw and I thought we all could–”

“Nope, we’re not shooting TikToks in a supermarket.” Chaewon cuts her off and starts pushing their cart, dragging her girlfriend along. “Come on, there’s a special offer for Greek yogurts. See you tomorrow, guys.”

“Special offer for Greek yogurts?!” Yunjin shouts. “I hope they haven’t sold out yet. See ya!”

“See you,” Sakura and Kazuha reply in unison, laughing.

“Okay, what else were we supposed to get?” Sakura checks the contents of their cart. “We have Greek yogurt, orange juice, rice, snacks, Hana-chan’s food–”

“What about your training?” Kazuha’s question interrupts her.

Sakura looks up from the cart, perplexed. “Huh?”

“You usually have training with your dad on the days off,” Kazuha prompts, her expression unreadable.

Sakura pauses. She hasn’t even thought of that. But it’s not like she could say no to Yunjin’s invitation. After just reassuring Kazuha that she wants to spend time with her and knowing that she wants to go? Yeah, no. That would be just awful. 

She shrugs. “I’ll just tell him I have plans already.”  

A giddy smile of relief brightens Kazuha’s face before she says, “We have to get cat’s litter.”

Sakura snaps her fingers. “Right.” She starts pushing the cart, but then stops and turns to Kazuha. “Where can we find it?”

“Follow me.” The girl beckons at her as she starts walking ahead. "Oh, and by the way, I know how you can make it up to me.” She glances over her shoulder, a playful grin on her face.

“How?” Sakura asks, unable to fight the bubbling excitement within her.

There’s just something about Kazuha’s smile that makes her want to return home right this second.

“You’ll find out soon enough, Miyawaki-san.” 

 

🌸🍃

 

Cooking together. 

That’s what Kazuha chose as Sakura’s…punishment? Can this even be labeled as such? 

Her choice of meal is equally surprising. Spaghetti bolognese—because she had a sudden yearning for Italian cuisine. Though with how she ends up pouring out her eyes while chopping the onion, it feels more like she’s the one being ‘punished’ here.

“Here you go,” the girl says through a sniffle when she passes the chopping board to Sakura, her eyes red and puffy.

“Gosh, Zuha, I told you I could do it. You look like that onion has just punched you in the face.”

“It hasn’t. It just told me its tragic backstory about growing up poor on the farm before being yanked out from the ground and separated from his family.”

Sakura chuckles, shaking her head, and drops the onion into the pan. “I’m sorry, Mr. Onion. But I promise we will honor you by making you a part of a delicious meal.”

Kazuha pretends to cry some more before they both burst with laughter over their silliness. All of this feels so easy and familiar, like they’ve done it hundreds of times already.

“We should do this more often,” the words tumble from Sakura’s lips, unaware.

Kazuha raises an eyebrow in surprise. “Spaghetti?”

Sakura rolls her eyes. “No, I mean cook together, you dork.”

Kazuha tilts her head, regards her with her soft, shining eyes, and says, “We should. We definitely should.”

They continue to work together, effortlessly navigating around each other as if their kitchen was a tiny soccer field. And soon, the sauce is almost ready.

“Here, give it a taste.” Sakura offers a spoon to Kazuha who has been standing beside her, propped against the kitchen counter, watching her with that dreamy expression on her face, as if Sakura is hanging stars in the sky for her instead of simply cooking spaghetti.

Is this the look Chaewon was talking about ? She wonders. Have I really been this blind? 

The girl tastes the sauce and ponders for a moment, her tongue darting to slowly her lips clean.

Sakura’s breath hitches. “A-and?” she stutters, impatient but not really at the lack of response.

There’s a very different kind of restlessness building up within her that she wills herself to ignore. Kazuha arches an eyebrow, looking at her like she knows about it, and it amuses her.

“Good,” the girl finally says, nodding.

Sakura’s shoulders slump. “Just good?” 

If all Kazuha has to say is a curt 'good ', then the sauce may as well just be terrible.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Kazuha pushes off the counter, then goes to stand behind Sakura, wrapping her arms around her waist in a tender back-hug. 

The sudden display of affection catches Sakura off guard, and her whole body tenses up before she reminds herself that they’re alone at home, and it’s okay. More than okay, even. She presses a little closer. Her heartbeat racing, she thinks about how perfectly she fits against Kazuha’s slightly bigger frame, like a missing piece of a puzzle.

“Exquisite,” Kazuha whispers and places a soft kiss against her cheek, then rests her chin on Sakura’s shoulder. “How’s that for an answer, hm?”

“Better,” Sakura replies, biting back a grin while continuing to stir the sauce that simmers just like the blood in her veins.

Five minutes later, their dinner is finally ready. Kazuha lets go of her to take out the plates, but not before pecking her cheek again. Sakura exhales sharply. She isn’t quite used to so much affection being directed at her, not to mention that she herself has never been the clingy type. But she thinks that she can get used to it if it comes from Kazuha.

They eat mostly in silence. Sakura shoots down Kazuha's proposal to recreate the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Trump but suggests they can watch a movie after the dinner, which brings the smile back onto Kazuha’s face.

 

🌸🍃

 

“What do we want to watch? Howl’s Moving Castle?” Sakura asks, hunching over her laptop on the coffee table and scrolling through Netflix. 

The couch dips beside her; a flash of bare legs. She peers up from the screen and to the side. Kazuha has changed into her sleeping attire: shorts and a tank top. Leave it to Kazuha to make her feel overdressed for wearing gray sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

“Whatever you choose is fine,” the girl says, smiling as she makes herself comfortable in the corner of the couch.

Her hair is tied in a messy ponytail, exposing her slender neck. Sakura feels her stomach flutter, and she’s pretty sure Hana-chan is side-eyeing her from her spot on the opposite corner of the couch. 

“Maybe My Neighbor Totoro?” she suggests.

That should be safe.

“Sure.”

Sakura starts the movie and sits back. Her heartbeat is so annoyingly loud that she grabs a pillow to hug it and muffle the sound. Unfortunately, she can still hear it in her ears, making it hard for her to focus on the dialog.

“Sakura, can I ask you something?” Kazuha’s soft voice breaks the silence between them just minutes into the movie.

Sakura tightens her grip on the pillow. “Y-yeah, sure,” she says with her eyes still on the laptop’s screen, as if not giving Kazuha her attention would somehow deter her from asking serious questions.

Not now. Not yet. She repeats it in her head like a mantra.

Kazuha shifts on the couch and pauses the movie. With one leg folded on the couch, she faces Sakura.

“It’s just,” she stops as if searching for the correct words, and the suspense only worsens Sakura’s churning anxiety. “I’ve been thinking lately about something you said. That you and Kaname didn’t date. But there was something between you two, right? So what was it?”

Tension deflates from Sakura like the air from a balloon that was about to burst. Her eyes meet Kazuha’s curious ones.

“Well, we hung out together, went on a couple of dates, and…” She chews on her bottom lip before she continues, “spent some nights together.” She makes a strategic pause for Kazuha’s reaction, but the girl just stares at her, impassive, waiting for the rest of the story.

“But I don’t know. It never felt like we were in a relationship. And Kaname had a tendency to openly flirt with other women, even when I was around.”

Frowning, Kazuha props her arm on the backrest and looks up to the ceiling, as though she’s trying to work out a complex mathematical equation, and the solution is written somewhere up there. “So you were like friends with benefits? Or was it like an open relationship?”

Sakura snorts a chuckle. “I would say neither. That’s why I said it was complicated. We’ve never talked about it.” She lowers her gaze, the sentence knocking air from her lungs for a second. 

She fiddles with the loose threads at the corner of the pillow that must have been shred by Hana-chan, and now she’s only making it worse. So she stops and folds her hands together. 

“I’d never called her out on her behavior,” she finally admits.

“Why?” Kazuha asks cautiously, like she wants to make sure she doesn’t come off as judging. 

“Good question,” Sakura says.

At the beginning, she really thought Kaname liked her and that they could become something serious. When it soon turned out that the girl didn’t seem to show any interest in a committed relationship, Sakura gave up on that, too. It was only with time that she realized just how stupid and naive she was and grew resentful of her. 

“Maybe because I never loved her, so I didn’t feel the need to fight about it.”

“So you’ve ended it?”

“No. She did. One day she just told me she was transferring to Frontale, and I said okay. And that was it,” she says quietly, as if she’s ashamed of it, although she knows there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

She was young, naive, infatuated, and made a mistake. It was as simple as that. A youthful indiscretion, if you will. But perhaps the shame comes from the fact that, thanks to her, their rivals gained a valuable player.

Kazuha shifts, moves her leg to the floor, and Sakura’s hand shoots out like a viper to grab her arm, the pillow tumbling from her arms onto the carpet. Hana-chan gets startled and runs away. 

“Don’t leave,” panicked words escape Sakura’s lips.

A mixture of worry and confusion flashes across Kazuha’s features. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Sakura swallows the lump in , her voice shaky when she asks, “A-are you sure?”

Kazuha’s gaze softens in recognition, and she smiles. “I’m sure. I promise.”

Slowly, one by one, Sakura’s fingers unfurl, leaving behind an angry, red imprint. Guilt twinges in her chest at the sight of it.

“I’m sorry.” She moves closer, pressing a lingering kiss to Kazuha’s arm. “I’m so sorry,” she breathes out against the soft, jasmine-scented skin.

For hurting you, for being selfish, for not wanting to let go…

“Saachan… ” Kazuha whispers, sliding her fingers under Sakura’s jaw.

Gently she lifts Sakura's head, just enough for their hooded eyes to meet. The feather-like touch makes Sakura shudder, and her mind clouds, leaving only Kazuha in focus.

Her dark eyes, her flushed skin, her warm touch, and her low, raspy voice asking, “Can I kiss you?” 

Leaning forward, Sakura captures Kazuha’s lips and kisses her with almost aching softness. Her hands travel to the girl’s shoulders, pushing her against the backrest while she moves to straddle her lap. As they settle into the new position, a low sound escapes Kazuha, and she brushes her tongue along Sakura’s bottom lip. 

Desire surges through Sakura, her fingers digging into Kazuha’s waist as she deepens the kiss. Reaching her hand behind Kauzha’s head, she pulls at the hairband, setting her hair free, and threads her fingers through them. Kazuha’s taste is intoxicating. She can’t get enough of it. She wants to taste all of her and hear her as she moans her name. Over and over again. All throughout the night... 

The thought breaks through the haze of arousal. She wants Kazuha. She wants her so badly that it hurts. But she doesn’t want this to be rushed or accidental. She can’t be selfish about this.

She recoils back, breaking the kiss and eliciting a whine of disapproval from Kazuha.

“We should stop. We have a game tomorrow,” she mutters, gently pushing the girl away when she chases after her lips.

“R-right, yeah,” Kazuha stammers breathlessly and slumps against the backrest, her hands falling limp at her sides.

Sakura fixes her mussed hair, staring into her dazed eyes, laced with unsatisfied hunger. She imagines hers must look the same.

“Let’s just stay like this for a moment,” she says, leaning her head against Kazuha’s chest and listening to the rabbit rhythm of her heart.

“Okay.” Kazuha wraps one hand around her, the other playing with her hair idly.

“You’ve never dated anyone?” Sakura asks once their breathing evens out and their hearts slow down.

Although she pretty much knows the answer already, she needs to hear the girl say it.

“No. Is this… a problem?”

Sakura shrugs. “I don’t know. Is it?”

“Not for me,” Kazuha answers, and Sakura can hear her smile.

“Mhm,” she hums, chuckling when Kazuha’s thumb grazes sensitive skin just below her ear. “Tickles.”

Kazuha breathes out a laugh. It’s soft, melodious, and warm. Sakura feels how it vibrates deep in her chest and commits the sound to her memory, like hundreds of other details about the girl.

“Do you…,” Kazuha begins, again carefully picking her words as if afraid a wrong one would shatter not only this fragile moment but everything that’s between them, “…want to tell Yunjin and Chaewon when we meet them on Monday?”

Sakura freezes. It’s 'you', not 'we'. Kazuha wants to tell them. She knows it. They are their friends. And really, it’s just words. How could something so simple be so complicated? We’re dating. We’re girlfriends. We’re together. They are, right? And she wants this. She wants this so much that…it scares her. Because she knows that in order to do it right, she has to risk it all. It’s what Kazuha deserves. 

Her hands ball into fists as tears begin to prickle her eyes. She can hear Kazuha’s voice in her head, gently reassuring her that there’s no point worrying about what may go wrong, but the problem is, for her, things always end up going wrong. And that gentle, soft voice becomes quickly overpowered by a cacophony of painful memories.

Maru-chan escaped…Stop crying, you need to be tougher than that…Your father will never be able to play soccer again…We’re divorcing…Quit that damn sport…I’m leaving…No one remembers fourth place…I’m transferring…She’s stronger than you…She’ll replace you…You didn’t make the team…We both know you’re unable to love anyone…One last chance…I give you one last chance, Sakura…

The voices grow louder and louder until they become distorted beyond recognition, morphing into shrill white noise that starts to make her feel nauseous.

“Sakura? Saachan?” Kazuha’s concerned voice breaks through, and the noise slowly begins to dissipate, slinking back to the dark corners of her mind. “Hey, look at me, please.” Her hands gently press at Sakura’s shoulders, and she finally peels herself away from the girl but keeps her head low, too embarrassed to face her. 

Kazuha doesn’t give up, though. She cups her cheeks, lifting her head just enough for their eyes to meet. “Saachan, it’s fine. We don’t have to tell them. We don’t have to tell anyone until you’re ready, okay?” Her thumbs wipe away Sakura’s tears.

Will she ever be ready, though? Will she ever be able to say all those simple words without fear that they may turn against her one day?

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out through a sob.

God, she’s so pathetic. So weak. So messed-up. She doesn’t deserve Kazuha. The girl has a good life with her parents and her career. Why would she ever need her? She was doing perfectly fine without her. It’d have been better for their paths to never cross.

“Don’t apologize. It’s okay.” Kazuha tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

And despite the distant voice persistently echoing in Sakura’s head, ‘ She will leave, just like everyone else has always left ’, she wants to believe that it really is okay.

“Come here.” Kazuha hugs her, and Sakura hugs her back tighter.

Because Kazuha allows her to play it safe. And so maybe they can last like this for a little longer. Wrapped in each other. Without anyone else knowing. Just playing by these new, unspoken rules. Until one day, Kazuha will realize that it’s not enough… 

And she will change the rules again.