The microwave beeped, signaling the finish of a bag of popcorn, and you immediately went over to grab it. It was a rainy day and you were in the SHINee dorm by yourself. Taemin had left you there for just a few minutes to go out and buy some more food since it had been a while since SHINee had gone properly grocery shopping. It was your job to make a comfortable place in front of the TV and pop some popcorn for the both of you.

While the other members had their own schedules to attend to, Taemin was free that day, and rather than go out, he preferred to stay indoors with his girlfriend and enjoy her company. 

It was supposed to be a good relaxing time for just the two of you, but you felt conflicted and guilty. 

Memories of two nights ago were still flooding your mind, when you were supposed to be on a date with Taemin but ended up kissing his hyung outside the bathroom instead. Taemin still had no idea what went on between you and Jonghyun that night.

On one hand, you felt like a lying cheating and on the other you were furious at Jonghyun. You felt like stomping out into the rain in search of him and then dragging him into a dark alley to beat him up for making you cheat on Taemin. But then again, you were just as much at fault… for kissing him back.

Why the hell did you that?! You kept probing yourself, but there was still no answer. 

Taemin was your whole world and no one could ever replace him for you. He was everything you had ever dreamed about. Yet why could you still feel Jonghyun’s lips on yours? Why did you kiss him back? Why didn’t you fight him? Why did you keep secrets from Taemin?

You took some pillows from the bedroom and put them on the couch in front of the TV to make the space more comfortable for when Taemin returned. The two of you still hadn’t decided on a movie yet, but you figured something would just turn up as it usually did. He had recently become interested in the Harry Potter series, so you figured the two of you might end up watching that.

When things were ready, you finally heard a knock at the door. You decided to push away negative thoughts for now and focus on enjoying what little quality time the two of you would have together since days off were so rare in the entertainment industry. You rushed over to open the door and help Taemin with groceries.

“That didn’t take quite as long as you thought,” you said as you opened the door. Your jaw dropped. It wasn’t Taemin there, but rather, Jonghyun. You did not want to see him. 

Jonghyun smiled nervously as he took off his hood.

“Hi, __-ah,” he said. Thinking fast you tried to slam the door in his face, but Jonghyun, who was not only older than you but stronger, too, kept the door from closing with his hand.

”__ah, wait!” he said. “I just want to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” you shouted angrily, but suddenly your mind changed. You opened the door and pulled him inside. “Wait, no! Actually, yeah! Get in here, let’s talk!”

Jonghyun shuffled into the dorm as carefully as he could with you holding onto his shirt and pulling him violently into the room.

“Ah, geez, be careful!” he said. You then slammed the door shut.

“Let’s talk about your funeral, Jonghyun!” you shouted. “What kind of flowers do you want?”

”___-ah, I know you’re probably angry with me—”

“I’m furious at you!”

“—OK, that’s understandable, but please let me explain-“

“Ok fine, explain…”

“…”

“EXPLAIN!” 

“Shh! Don’t yell, we have neighbors.”

“Oppa,” you said. Tears were beginning to sting your eyes but you refused to cry. “You kissed me. Why would you—?”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to talk about, __-ah,” he said. “You have pretty much every right to be angry with me—”

“You made me cheat on him,” you said.

”___-ah, it was just a kiss.”

“Even so… I feel horrible! I’m Taemin’s girlfriend and I kissed his hyung! He’ll feel so betrayed! And it’s because of me!”

“Hey,” Jonghyun said, moving toward you and placing a hand on your shoulder. “Come on, now, it hardly counted as a kiss. I was drunk and everyone knows that what a guy does when he’s drunk shouldn’t count.”

“Drinking alcohol results in slurred speech, slowed reflexes, and impaired judgment but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We really did kiss, oppa.”

“We? It was just a slip-up on my part, don’t feel so bad about it. I came here because I wanted to apologize. If I had any idea what was going on at the time, believe me, Inever would have kissed you.”

“I know, but…” you began to say but you hiccuped and the rest of your sentence came out as a whisper. “…I kissed you back.”

“What?” Jonghyun said, unable to hear your hushed tones. 

“I kissed you back! And now I have to tell Taemin about what happened between us because I can’t keep lying to him! And then I’ll have to break up with him because he doesn’t deserve me—”

“Hey, hey, calm down! Don’t turn hysterical on me. If you want to figure this out, you have to stay calm, __-ah, okay?” Jonghyun placed his hands on either side of your face and wiped the falling tears with his thumbs. He pressed your face firmly and made you to look up at him.

“You okay?” he asked, and you nodded, trying to retain your composure. Jonghyun nodded back before retreating to the kitchen and returning with a glass of water for you.

“Here, drink this,” he said and you did so gladly. 

“You have to stop blaming yourself,” he said. “I won’t try to rationalize what I did two nights ago because, honestly, I really am the one at fault.”

“But, still,” you said. “You’re not as bad as me.” you slunk down and sat on the floor, against the wall and Jonghyun sat next to you.

“You love Taemin-ah, don’t you?” Jonghyun asked.

“Of course, I do,” you said. “But that’s why this whole mess is so troublesome. If I love Taemin then why didn’t I even try to fight you when you kissed me? Why did I kiss you back?”

You thought back to that night when Jonghyun kissed you. Unlike Taemin, his hyung’s kiss was more forceful and demanding and had you simultaneously retreating from and lunging for it. 

“What you did wasn’t nearly as bad as what I did,” you repeated. “Taemin-ah’s all I ever wanted and I’m driving him away. I’m so stupid.”

“No, you’re not,” Jonghyun said. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I’m just as guilty as you are. Man, I kissed you, didn’t I?”

You suddenly raised your eyebrow at him. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Yah, I wasn’t insinuating that— Oh, nevermind. I mean… you’re a really pretty girl, __-ah…”

“…thanks?”

“…but still. If I had done it on purpose, I really wouldn’t be able to live with myself for kissing a girl that my friend loved. You know Taemin, he’d never do anything to hurt anyone. I’ve known him for a long time and he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. So I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, and I know that you wouldn’t either—”

“But I kissed you—”

“Would you stop dealing that card every time? Drink your water. What did you really feel when we kissed?”

“What?”

“Tell me how you felt so we can figure this out. When we kissed, what was going through your mind?”

“Ok,” you said, taking a deep breath. “It’s embarrassing,”

“I won’t judge you.”

“Okay…”

“So?”

“It felt different…”

“Different how?”

“Just… really different. I’d only ever kissed Taemin before. And, like… just theway you kissed me was different. When I’m with Taemin, I always feel content, under control, and happy and blissful and everything. And I love him. But then when you kissed me that night, I had never felt those emotions before and I didn’t know what to do and… I guess I just got a little carried away.”

“But does it make you feel any different about Taemin?”

“No,” you said. “It makes me feel different about…me.”

”___-ah, do you like me?”

The question was uncalled for and almost spit your water back into the glass. 

“Mwoh?!” you said. Jonghyun almost laughed. 

“I said do you like me?”

“Well—” you were going to spit out the word “no” instantly but then you caught the word and pulled it back into your throat in favor of a more thoughtful answer. Did you like Jonghyun? When you and your friends first began to like SHINee, Jonghyunwas your favorite. But eventually, that affection died down as you became closer to Taemin. 

“Speechless, I see,” Jonghyun said. “The way you feel about Taemin is the same because the kiss had no effect on it. Kissing me doesn’t mean you like Taemin less.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, maybe the kiss was so weird to you because you don’t know how you feel about me.”

“What are you saying?”

“That’s why I asked you if you liked me.”

“But I don’t,” you said. ”You’re like a brother to me. So, in that sense of the word, then yes, I do like you.”

“I see,” he said. He looked at you and smirked a little.

“What?” you said. “I really don’t! So stop looking at me like that!”

“Ok, fine,” he said. “You have to stop liking me, __-ah.”

“You cheeky little—”

“I mean it. Like I said, you’re pretty, smart, and I can see why Taemin likes you so much, but you are still a little girl to me. I could be your older brother. I was drunk, you were confused, but you’re not anymore, are you?”

“What?”

“Confused, I mean.”

“How would I be confused?”

Jonghyun stood up and took your hands to help you up as well before continuing:

“About me and Taemin. I don’t care what you say, but after this little incident, I am determined to see you and maknae happily together forever. It was just a kiss, __-ah, but it’s done two things right: after seeing you look so worried for Taemin, I can tell that you really care about our maknae, and it’s intensified your feelings for him. But from what I see here are your choices for action: you can go on being Taemin’s girlfriend, or dump him and continue liking me. So which will it be?”

“The first one, of course, you babo!” you yelled. Jonghyun smiled.

“Good,” he said. “Because I know Taemin likes you, too, and I’d rather drown in Han River than see him get his heart broken.”

“It was just a kiss,” you said. “And as much as we don’t want it to mean anything, it means that I picked Taemin over you, oppa.”

“Atta girl,” he said, patting your head and ruffling your hair. “I’ll see you and Taemin later, then.” He grabbed the bowl of popcorn and made his way toward the door, reaching it just as Taemin was walking in.

“Oh, hyung!” Taemin said, seeing Jonghyun in the doorway. “When did you get back? Uh, is that our popcorn?”

“I just came to get my phone, I left it here. Huh? Oh, yeah, but I’m taking it.”

“Yah, but we need it for the movie marathon! Where are you going? Just stay here and watch it with us.”

“No, it’s ok,” Jonghyun said, smiling at Taemin and then to you. “Besides, I think __-ah wants to be alone with you.”

“Mmm, whatever. Next time, you should be nice enough to help me with these groceries!”

“See ya!” Jonghyun yelled on his way to the elevator. Taemin shook his head watching his hyung run away to get out of helping him with the groceries. 

“He’s the lazy one of the group,” Taemin said, picking up the bags of food he bought and placing it on the table. “Did he say anything?” he asked. That’s when he noticed you.

“Oh, jagiya,” he said. “Your eyes look a little puffy. What’s wrong? Were you crying?”

“Uh,” you said, putting the glass of water that Jonghyun had gotten you down. “I’ll be fine.”

Taemin smiled and walked over to where you were.

“Are you sure?” he asked. Normally, when you wanted to see Taemin eye-to-eye, you had to get up on your toes, as he was much taller than you. But since he was bent down a little so that he was at your level, you had a better advantage. You leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips.

“I’m sure.”