I was minding my own business, really.

I was lying on the couch hugging myself, trying to forget that lying Chinese bastard who left me - and who promised me he wouldn't mind you - trying to be happy again.

Then it happened. That damn radio played that damn radio by that damn abandoning creep.

Kai zhe che duo quan ming ming you jia bu hui

Fan zhen hui qu ye bu guo yi ge ren shui

 I froze. I sat upright and stared, wide-eyed, at the wall opposite me. I listened to the voice of the one I'd only been able to see and hear from TV for the past year and a half.

It was different, it always was in Chinese. I preferred his bad Korean, but it was still as beautiful as ever in his own language.

I wondered what he was saying. I knew not one word of Chinese. I could gather it was a sad song though, and that thought made me sad.

Was he sad where he was?

Stupid, why would he be? He got away didn't he? From the hell known as SM, from me? Of course he was happy. Don't be ridiculous Heechul.

Hu ran jue de jing ran you shi jian lang fei

Mei yi tian dou xiang tuo luo yi yang de zhui 

I suddenly flet the need to learn that language. Even if I never saw Hangeng again, it would be a useful skill to have, and hey, I might be able to perform with Super Junior M one day if I knew Chinese.

I closed my eyes and let his voice wash over me, for once letting the tears roll down my face, not caring if the others walked in.

Que fa xian hai zai yuan di zhuan de ke bei

Lu chu cui ruo hui bu bui xian de lang bei

I heard shuffling but I ignored it, letting myself be entraced once more by Hangeng's voice like I used to be.

Back when he would sing me to sleep, when he would talk to me for hours about anything, when he would grumble tiredly when I was teasing him.

The sweet tone when he whispered things in my ear, when he smiled and spent long speeches telling me everything he loved about me and why he lvoed me so much and how he'd never stop loving me and I was so beautiful to him.

Back when my life had meaning. When everything made sense. When the world was right.

Zhe yi ke gan jue dao feng chui

Zhe qing song you duo me jiu wei

"Hyung," a broken Chinese accent sent my heart into overdrive.

Only it wasn't Hangeng's. It was Zhoumi. I smiled through my tears. "Mimi," I sighed.

I had grown closer to the man in the past few months, without any words he shuffled over to me and held me, turning off the radio as he did so.

"Teach me Chinese Zhoumi," I said.

"Are you sure? It'll be tough," he warned me. I nodded, wiping my tears away.

"There's something I need to do. I want to learn. I'll work hard, please teach me,"

He looked at me for a long time, before nodding. "Okay. I'll teach you."

~ three months laster ~

"Ugh! This doesn't get any easier!" I screamed thorwing myself on the floor in a rage, hurting my head in the process.

"You said you'd stick with it. And look you only made three mistakes, you're doing surprisingly well for a beginner," Zhoumi assured me.

"Really?" I asked sitting up. He nodded.

"Keep practising,"

Sighing, I went back to my studies. Zhoumi patted my back encouragingly before leaving for the kitchen for food.

I had to get this right. I refused to take over a year to learn this language, even if it killed me.

"Hyung?" Siwon poked his head into my room, which was unnaturally neat - well leave me alone I like it messy - and tidy.

"Yeah? Busy here," I said jotting down a few notes in Chinese, taking care to make it as neat as possible.

"Sorry, but Teukie-hyung says Wookie made Beijing Fried Rice if you want any," Siwon said.

I wrinkled my nose. "Hell no." I answered. Siwon blinked.

"But you love-"

"Hangeng's Beijing Fried Rice, not any other's. Wookie's a good cook but I refuse to eat Hangeng's dishes from someone else," I cut in.

I hadn't touched Beijing Frice Rice or ramen since Hangeng left. I didn't eat much nowadays anyway.

When I wasn't on schedule, I locked myself in my room with Zhoumi and bent over my Chinese lessons.

When Zhoumi was unavalible to teach me, I would listen to Hangeng's songs and jot down lyrics that came to mind, translating them into Chinese for Zhoumi to correct.

Proncounciation was hard to understand, but I had to admit it was a lot smoother sounding than Korean, I could understand why it seemed like an easier language.

But leanring any language was hard. And like any true diva, I did not respond well to hard work.

But I had committed myself to doing this, and when Kim Heechul dedicates himself to something, he never lets go.

Which is why I wasn't letting that Chinaman get away so easily.

I had dedicated my entire existance to his sorry behind, and he walks out on me in thanks.

Well, no sir. No more mister sad-crying-himself-to-sleep-Kim-Heechul.

I wasn't taking it lying down that was for sure. It was time to do something, since Hangeng obviously wasn't coming to me, I'd have to go to him.

Whether he wanted me or not. That wasn't my problem.

With Zhoumi gone, I flipped on my ipod and put it on shuffle. The first song to be played was Hangeng's Simple Person, which I liked.

I felt proud I could understand nearly the whole song, singing along softly in my slightly warped version of Chinese.

Grabbing my notebook, I jotted down a few more lyrics, translating them and putting them aside for Zhoumi to examine later.

~ two weeks later ~

"You're as good as I can make you hyung," Zhoumi said.

"So you mean I'm done? I did it?" I asked.

He nodded. "I've taught you everything I know, you're ready. Surprising actually, considering how little time you've had,"

"Oh Hangeng used to teach me a bit," I said, my voice breaking at his voice.

Zhoumi winced as my voice broke and patted my shoulder. I smiled. "Thanks Mimi, this has really helped me, you've no idea." I said.

He smiled back. "Glad I could help. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find Henry,"

I giggled as he walked off. "Pace yourself Mi, you two might still be here a while, don't want to run yourself ragged!" I called.

Silence. Then "Yah! Hyung it's nothing like that!"

I laughed. First time in a long time. It felt good.

I finished up my lyrics that got to work putting a tune to them. I'd already figured out the initial sound of the song, so all I had to do was fit in the syllables.

I was already packed, so, putting on comfortable travelling clothes and getting my things, I headed into the dorm living room.

"I'll see you when I get back, wish me luck~" I sang.

The others all chatted, wishing me luck and a good trip, I could tell they were happy I was smiling again.

I couldn't help being happy, even if my mission might be in vain. After all, I'd see Hangeng either way, and that thought made me happy.

Teukie drove me to the airport, telling me to call him if anything went wrong, and to not do anything stupid or reckless if it did.

"Yah, stupid ajumma I'll be fine, I'm a big boy Teukie I can look after myself," I chided getting out of the car.

"Heechul-ah, don't disrespect your hyung like that, stupid brat," Teukie scolded, but he was smiling while he said it.

"As I keep saying, you're only nine days older than me, it does not count." I said rolling my eyes.

"Bye Teukie~ saranghaeyo~!" I waved and headed into the airport.

"Saranghae Heenim~ be careful you hear?" I heard him call.

I laughed and called back. "Yah, quit your worrying umma I'll be fine. Annyeong!"

Once I'd boarded my plane I put in my earphones, instantly playing My Logo, another one of Hangeng's songs.

When I got to China, I would find Hangeng, and then... I don't know. But I wouldn't let us fall apart.

So I'd do anything to keep us together. We were only 93 miles away, that's not far right?

Right?

Surely our hearts could reach that far?

If Hangeng's wanted to that is.

I sent a silent prayer for this to work out. Then I mentally cursed Siwon, because I'm sure he was telepathically controlling me at that moment.

Because Kim Atheist Heechul does not pray.

Not.

I froze.