You opened your eyes slowly as you woke up. You smiled and turned around thinking that Jong Woon would be still beside you, sleeping. But you found that Jong Woon wasn’t there. You pulled the sheet to cover your body and sat. Your eyes started wandering around the room searching for him.

            “Oppa…Jong Woon oppa…” you called out his name but no answer. You started to panicked. Your hands were shaking when you gripped on the sheet thinking the worse that Jong Woon had left you. You heard nothing other than your heart beat faster. You put on your t-shirt hurriedly and got out of the bed to look for him. You didn’t see his phone anywhere. You couldn’t find his suitcase or his backpack anywhere in the room. You walked half running to the bathroom and threw the door open. You saw nothing but an empty bathroom in front of you. Sad feeling slowly seeped into you as you dropped on your knees. You sat on the bathroom floor with empty stares, staring at nothing. A drop of tears fell on your cheek.

            “Jong Woon oppa…don’t go…” you kept on calling out his name in between your cries, “don’t go…oppa…you promised”. You started crying uncontrollably and calling his name in between but still no answer. Your shoulders were shaking badly. When you tried to wipe your tears and to rub your eyes with your hands you could feel your hands were shaking too. You wanted to stop the tears that kept flowing on your cheek but it didn’t work. You stared at the bathroom doorway hoping that Jong Woon would appear anytime and hugged you tight to soothe you. Your mind kept denying the thought that Jong Woon had left you high and dry like you did before to him. You hardly accept any worse scenario that would happen. You hardly accept the reality that Jong Woon had left. The thought hit you that you deserved this more than anything. You deserved revenge from Jong Woon than his love. You deserved his anger and his hate than his love. You know it was indeed too good to be true to be loved by him, you should have known that he would leave, that he thought of you as nothing more than his fans. You wrapped your arms around your knees and pulled it closer to your chest. You looked down and rested your head on your knees, crying. You are a fool, who are you thinking that he would stay with you.

**********

You opened your eyes instantly because of your dream. You gasped when you saw Jong Woon staring at you. His arms wrapped tightly around you. Your face was just an inch close to his face.

            “Did you just have a nightmare?”

            “Huh?”

            “I woke up right when you called out my name”.

            “Di, did I call out your name in my sleep? I, I’m sorry to wake you”.

            “Yeah and you were also crying, so I held you closer to soothe you, after that you calmed down and stopped crying”.

            “I, I, I cried? In my sleep?” you touched your cheek with a hand and felt it was wet.

            “Yes. What did you actually dreaming about?”

            “You left”, you looked down. You heard him chuckled and kissed your forehead.

            “Why in the world I would leave you?”

            “Because I’m just an ordinary girl”, he let out another chuckled.

            “Did you leave before because I’m just an ordinary guy?” you shook your head.

            “It’s just too good to be true for you to love me”.

            “Why did you tell me not to love you?”

            “Because I don’t deserve you and I wasn’t sure yet if I love you as an idol or as a man”.

            “Why do you think you don’t deserve me?”

            “I don’t know. It’s just as a fans I think you deserve someone much better than me. You know, someone from the entertainment circle just like you”.

            “We can’t simply tell our hearts to fall in love with who, can we? We would only know we fall in love with someone when it happened, right?”

            “Can we?” he chuckled and shook his head.

            “Right when you handed me the tissue paper with your orders on it I just fell in love with you right away. I couldn’t help it even if I told myself not to fall in love with you. Even that time when you said not to love you and left, I still couldn’t wipe away my love for you so easily. What do you call this?”

            “I don’t know”.

            “I would call this as true love. When you just simply love someone unconditionally even if the one you love didn’t love you back”.

            “I didn’t”.

            “You didn’t what?”

            “I did love you”.

            “Really? Have you sorted your feelings towards me?”

            “I, I, I think I just simply truly honestly and completely growing to love you as a man”, he smiled and kissed you deeply.

            “So did you ever waive your heart all this time when I wasn’t around?” you shook your head and saw him smiled, “me too”.

            “I love you?”

            “I love you more”.