"Ten minutes can go past without you brushing my thoughts
That's fourteen forty a day so I'll say a hundred and forty four times
I think about you or something like that."

First of all, how dare you.

How dare you come into my life and change everything.

How dare you take my very being and distort it into something so horrid I can barely look at myself in the mirror.

How dare you take my love and not even return the feeling?

Who do you think you are?

God? 

You can’t control me; I’m not some ventriloquist dummy with no individual thoughts or actions.

I am a human being

But for some reason

 I let you

I let you control me

I let you tear me apart until I could no longer put the pieces of my old self back together

You cut me open and didn’t even have the courtesy to stitch me back up

Why?

What am I to you? What purpose do I serve other than to act as your puppet?

Am I nothing to you?

Do you even care?

 I doubt it.

Is this sounding too cliché for you? Is it too much?

Good.

Read every letter, every syllable, and then maybe you can get a little understanding of my feelings

You probably never will

That’s alright, as long as you see this

Oh Sehun

I just wanted to let you know

I love you.

I can’t stop thinking about you

From the taste of your lips

To the feeling of you inside me

I want you to love me

I want to be yours

I won’t let anyone touch me but you ok?

Be here with me

Or I’ll be nothing

Since you picked all my petals

I guess I’ll just wilt

Oh Sehun

I can’t take it anymore

I have no more feelings

I stopped eating because

I know it sounds stupid but,

All the food taste so dull without you

Do you see what you’ve done?

I can’t even think straight

I need you

Please

                                                              ~Xiao Lu