Different
Following Instructions [HIATUS]
She hadn’t eaten for the past two days now even though she still cooked for the others. How could she eat when thoughts of Chanyeol flooded her mind whenever she held even one thing inside the kitchen? The thought of Lay’s calm aura and Tao’s bubbly personality didn’t help her any more than it could hurt her. And if she thought her grieving took no notice to the others, she thought wrong. As much as Kris wanted to patch things up, he knew could never do so. He was getting worried of about Sumi’s health. She barely slept, and yet she still manages to wake up the same time as always and do the same chores as before. Even if he wanted to tell her to just stop for a while, he knew she wouldn’t. He had known Sumi’s stubbornness even before and he knew it would be no use if he asked Sumi something he knew she wouldn’t do.
One week passed since that terrible incident yet no one seemed to sober up even a bit. Whenever Sehun would go out to take a walk, he’d see Tao’s irritating but amusing face and it would just spoil his mood. He had tried, constantly every single day to forget his best friend but of course, who was he kidding? It wouldn’t take someone to be an idiot to know that it would be impossible, or if not, would take a very long time to forget people who grew close to his heart.
Aish, so troublesome. Sehun would always tell himself whenever he thought of Tao. But even if he chuckled foolishly and scoffed as if Tao was someone he hated, his eyes would still automatically produce tears.
Luhan sat on the corner of his bed. Unlike Sehun, he didn’t redo anything that he had done with Lay—his first friend. They were practically brothers. They shared secrets with each other and didn’t seem to mind if one of them would spill out about the other. If they hadn’t been separated into group, he and Lay would’ve been roommates ever since.
Lay wasn’t someone loud in nature. He only is whenever he was with Luhan.
Although he didn’t want to admit, Luhan hadn’t hurt this much before. He encountered accidents; he had been through physical pain during his early years but never had he known that something like this would hurt much more. His heart was broken and even if he wanted to let out all his frustrations, he would just remember that the one person whom he ever trusted his feelings to was no longer there to listen to him.
One, two, three hours have passed by so quickly and it wasn’t enough for Kris. He was never the sentimental type. After his parents died, he never had time to be emotionally attached to something or someone for that matter. The thought of having his brother beside him was more than enough for him to live by. He didn’t ask for more; he didn’t expect for anything good to still come his way. He was accustomed to being feared; being hated. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care as long as the only person who meant more than half his life to him didn’t turn his back on him. He was already happy to know that his only brother, even if they weren’t full brothers, loved him back. Heck, he still would’ve felt complete even if he hadn’t met his friends.
Like a madman, he laughed. He laughed at himself; he laughed at their situation. How funny. He found it ridiculous how in one snap, three of his most valued people were gone. It didn’t even matter anymore, whether he continued on with his oath to end social injustice with a far graver act or not. What difference would it make now that he himself lost all his desire to avenge his mother and his brother when both of them were already gone?
Se Yun chuckled as he took a sip from his wine glass. How peaceful it was not to be bugged by reporters about constant deaths and constant cases of missing people. He loved the feeling of peace even though that peace meant permanent peace of three of Kris’ members.
He knew Kris would come out sooner or later and he knew he would have to prepare to face Kris’ fury. Truth be told, he didn’t even know whose men who killed the three belonged to but he was thankful that they managed to get rid of three of his enemies. He didn’t even know they managed to kill the people whom many feared. He couldn’t help but be amazed but he at the same time, he couldn’t care less. What mattered to him was that three were already gone and it gave him the assurance that somehow, Exo could be wounded. Now all he had to worry about were Kris’ rage and his daughter’s safety.
Kris had thought of it. He had thought of the idea to hurt Sumi just to torment Se Yun in return. It would’ve been the perfect plan if he had no feelings for Sumi. Sumi through a span of four months managed to make her way back into Kris’ heart again.. not that she ever left. Kris was slightly irritated at himself for being confused. He didn’t have any clear ideas on how to get back at Se Yun for what he did to his brother and his friends. He was so angry but as much as he wanted to vent out his anger at Sumi, he just couldn’t. He knew she was hurting just as much as he was.
Right then, an idea came up to his mind and he unintentionally smiled. He didn’t want to do it but what the hell, he thought.
If Se Yun managed to hurt him that much when in fact it should have been the other way around, Kris thought of turning tables the way it should be.
“What a burden.” Kris mumbled as he set his glass down at the table. Sumi flinched a bit. She understood when he was grumpy but he had been like that for nearly two weeks now and she was starting to get worried. She couldn’t talk to him without either getting ignored or getting glared at. It confused her so much since Kris wasn’t like that to her before but then she understood that Kris was probably getting bitter over Chanyeol’s death. She wondered though, what has she done wrong?
“Nothing’s making sense anymore! this house and the people in it!” Kris hissed. It hurt Sumi to see him like that every day. He would always get himself drunk and it wasn’t clear to Sumi why. She wanted to comfort him but he would just shove her aside.
Kris got himself drunk every day for two main reasons: first, because of his loss, and second, because he really didn’t want to worry Sumi but doing that was his last resort.
How ironic. He burdened Sumi emotionally because he kept on getting drunk because of the reason that he didn’t want to burden Sumi.
“Kris-sunbae, you should stop drinking.” Sumi whispered. She wouldn’t even have the courage to mutter that out if she had been new to the house. But then she’s been there for nearly four months now and the fact that Kris was her childhood friend was reason enough for her to command Kris.
“Ha! And why should I? Try getting you brothers killed and tell me what it feels like! Oh wait, I forgot that it was your father who got them killed so why would you even feel bad about it?” The last sentence came off slurred but was enough for Sumi to hear. She widened her eyes as realization hit her.
How foolish of her to even wonder why Kris was acting all bitter towards her. For the past months she forgot that she was held hostage and that his father most likely or not despised Exo. How could she not have thought of the high possibility that it was her father who ordered that Chanyeol, Tao, and Lay be killed?
She felt shocked as she heard what Kris had to say but it was replaced with hurt. Yes she was hurt not only because Kris, the first guy she ever had feelings for just accused her, but also because of the reality that her father hated Exo.
She felt her tears forming as she stared into space. She knew she was in trouble. No. She could only say that again and again in her head as she her heart thumped loudly. She has been staying there for four months and she completely forgot that she was a hostage. What made matters worse was that she realized that she actually came to like Exo and her new home. It hurt not only what she had heard from Kris, but also the fact that maybe her father really was the one behind her friends’ deaths.
“Oh my god.” She muttered as she backed off.
Kris, who was still sober, managed to hit her emotionally again which made him want to get himself drunk all the more. He hated to hurt Sumi emotionally since he knew how sensitive she was but he couldn’t think of a better way. Well since he started it, might as well finish it right?
“Yeah and you only noticed now. Tch. How burdensome.” he put emphasis on the last line since he knew he would hit something hard with that statement. Even if Sumi hadn’t admitted it yet, he knew that she cared for him and the rest of s through time.
Sumi didn’t hesitate to run back upstairs as she felt guilt run through her. She locked herself up in the room and contemplated with the comfort of her bed.
Luhan went down to grab a glass of milk when he saw Kris staring off in space.
“Yah. Drunk again, aren’t we?” Luhan asked almost mockingly. Although he didn’t admit, he was still hurting inside but he just decided to close his heart to any feelings of grief as he didn’t want to be weak in front of his friends.
“Shut up, Luhan.”
Luhan scoffed as he sat beside Kris.
“What are you trying to pull off, Kris?” Luhan asked. Kris groaned in irritancy. He doubted if Luhan ever grieved over their members when Luhan was as annoying as ever.
“Nothing you should mind about.” He just answered. His headache was slowly creeping its way and Luhan’s intriguing attitude didn’t help at all.
“Oh come on. It’s not like you can hide anything from me longer than a second, Kris.” Kris groaned in annoyance once more when he realized that Luhan was right.
“Just. Stay out of this for once.”
“Fine. But whatever that is, don’t hurt yourself.. or Sumi for that matter. I wouldn’t want to lose any of my friends. There aren’t many of you left, you know.” Luhan said as he stood up and headed out of the kitchen. As much as Kris wanted to tell Luhan about his plan, he didn’t since he knew that Luhan would just bug him about ethics and like that. Damn that Luhan bastard. He groaned as he slumped his head onto the table. He thought twice if what he was doing was right but then since he started it already, he might as well finish it. Whatever. Soon, his thoughts became a light trail as he drifted off to dreamland.
She fought with herself; walking back and forth inside her room. She was done crying and now she was at the point where she was analyzing the situation. She was a bright girl; she was smart and she was a little too advanced for her age. But even if she had the mental ability that was very commendable, her emotional ability to handle matters wasn’t that good. She could hardly pull herself together in the midst of a breakdown and as much as she wanted to just use her intelligence to fight off any emotional stress, she knew she just couldn’t.
Did appa.. really kill them?.. The question seemed so surreal to her yet it still flashed through her mind countless of times. Her father, as she had known, was not that type of person.
No.. As much as she tried to convince herself that her father wasn’t the one behind it, she knew that the possibilities were quite high considering that she has been held hostage for the past four months now.
But.. appa.. no.. She shook her head as if she was going crazy. But maybe she was. She didn’t know what to think as countless of thoughts flashed through her mind. She was hurt by the mere thought of her own father hurting her friends. But what hurt her more was the fact that she was the one who caused all of this. She hadn’t been true to herself. She never admitted that she had come to like it there with her Kris sunbae and Exo oppas. Guilt suddenly struck her as she stopped walking back and forth and instead, just rooting herself on the same spot.
I’m so selfish. Tears were threatening to form and she didn’t know if she could hold back anymore. She has never been the cause of anything wrong—being the perfect lady she has always been. Although she hardly shows it, she had a side to herself that didn’t quite like the times when she just agreed to every order and every single thing her father told her to. It was just “what a lady like her should do”. She had always hated the fact that she couldn’t say no to her father—maybe because it had grown normal to her to be as obedient as ever.
“Aish! I’m going crazy!” she half shouted as she knew no one could her at that ungodly hour of 2 am. Moments after, her door opened, making her frozen in her spot.
“I know you are, but you don’t have to broadcast it, you know.” Luhan’s voice echoed through her room. Seconds later, Luhan was inside her room, looking at her as if she was something to make fun about.
“Luhan-ssi.” She said half startled. “What you still doing up?” she added. Luhan chuckled as he made his way to Sumi’s bed and sat there.
“I think I should be the one asking you that question, don’t you think?” she blinked at him. He has a point.
“I.. I couldn’t sleep so..”
“Hmm? Something bothering you?”
“Uhh, well, kind of.” She answered truthfully. There was no point in denying it anyway when the person she was talking to was Luhan. Something in her tone made Luhan interested so he cocked his head to the side and asked her again.
“Mind telling me what it is? We have the whole day.” He joked, trying to lift up the mood. She looked at him, thinking whether she should open up or not. After all, it was Luhan who first approached her when she was just new there.
“Uhh.. Nothing, really. It’s just about something that Kris-sunbae said. I’m probably just over-thinking things.” She rubbed the back of her neck in slight embarrassment. It was kind of awkward that she was opening up to Luhan about this kind of matter but somehow, a familiar feeling of comfort started to make its way into her and she liked the feeling. Just how Chanyeol oppa would comfort me.
“Tch. You know Kris, Sumi-ah. He’s just like that. I thought you got used to him already?” Luhan knew where her insecurities where coming from but he chose not to bring it up.
“I know, but lately he’s been extra..different.” she mumbled the last word but Luhan caught it.
“If he had said something which offended you, just don’t think about it too much, Sumi-ah. Kris could be one hell of a rude person at times. Especially now that he’s drunk and his brother and friends-“ Luhan immediately stopped as he didn’t notice that he was going back to the emotional side of him again. He shook his head and faced Sumi. She looked at him with wide eyes as she too, was caught off guard.
Oh . Way to go, Luhan. He mentally cursed himself since he knew that not only was Sumi offended and hurt by the sudden bringing up of the topic they have been trying to forget; but also because he knew that Sumi probably has been feeling the ton of guilt on her shoulders..
“Sumi, I-“
“No, it’s okay, Luhan-ssi. It’s probably the truth anyway.” She said as she bowed her head down. Luhan was shocked at her statement. He felt a different kind of guilt seeing Sumi getting hurt because of something he said so carelessly. As if reading his mind, Sumi spoke again,
“I know what you’re thinking and I can’t say that I disagree. Appa.. he.. he really might be the cause of.. of..” slightly flustered, Luhan looked at her with concerned eyes.
“Sumi-ah, I didn’t mean to put it that way. I’m sorry.” Bowing his own head, his voice trailed off to almost whisper. Out of all the times to be careless, he chose to be in front of Sumi who was as fragile as a toothpick.
What shocked him the most was what happened next. He was anticipating the sound of Sumi’s sobs but instead, he felt her gentle arms wrap around him. He jerked his head up, although not too forcefully, and looked at her with questioning eyes. She didn’t seem to notice since she buried her face into Luhan’s right shoulder.
“Mianhae, Luhan-ssi. I know you must be hurting and I know I can’t even hurt half as much as what you are feeling now. I understand if you grow to hate me. I really am sorry. In behalf of my appa, I’m sorry..” she sobbed softly as she poured her emotions to Luhan who in return just sat there, frozen by Sumi’s words.
“I know that you must be blaming my appa for Lay-ssi, Tao-ssi, and Chanyeol-oppa’s death and I know you must be hating me as his daughter and I just want you to know that I completely understand it..” she sobbed even more as she felt pain strike her heart. As much as she didn’t want the rest of them to hate her, she knew she had to accept the consequence of what her father might have done.
“Sumi-ah..”
“Mianhae, Luhan-ssi. I’m so very s-sorry..”
“Sumi-ah, look at me.” Hi tilted her chin up so that she was facing him.
“I don’t blame you. Well, I’m going to lie if I say I’m not blaming your father as well, but I’m not blaming you. Even if you are his daughter, I know you’re different from him; from all of us.” He said as he smiled weakly.
“But.. but-“
“Ssh, don’t try to explain yourself anymore, Sumi-ah. I don’t need it.” He said as he patted her head. She just looked at him like a lost puppy which made him chuckle.
“You know, Kris is very lucky. Too bad he can be a jerk most of the time.” Luhan joked but Sumi didn’t seem to get it.
“What I’m saying is that you’re a very good girl, Sumi-ah. You have something that all of us don’t have anymore and it would be for the best if you didn’t lose it.” He said as he stood up and made his way to the door.
As if she just snapped out of her trance, she quickly asked,
“What do you mean? Tell me, Luhan-ssi, what do I have that you don’t?” she asked curiously while wiping the tears off her eyes. Before Luhan went out the door, he chuckled lightly.
“A pure heart, Sumi-ah. A pure heart.” Luhan said before turning off the lights.
Sumi sat there for a few more minutes before she tucked herself beneath her blankets. She thought of what Luhan said and she couldn’t help but a smile weakly as she realized that despite what her father might have done, Luhan still treated her as a friend and honestly, it was all that mattered to her at the moment.
A sigh escaped her lips. She knew that more trouble was yet to come and she didn’t know what to feel about them anymore.
“A pure heart, Sumi-ah. A pure heart.”
With a small and weak smile, she drifted off to dreamland.
Chapter 14, done :)
Ugh. At last, I got to update again :( I'm sooo sorry and are you people still out there? :( I really am sorry :(
Anyway, I hope that I can update more often since prelimenary exams just ended :(
I hope you..
Stay tuned, yes? <3
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