-- The days start to blend together like this. I wake up, again, to the sound of my alarm and a bright autumn sun. Is it Wednesday now? I check my phone to confirm. Nope, it’s Friday. That means it’s been over a week since that night. I go to class to pass the time. I come home, but stop in the doorway. I’m shocked to see Amy sitting at our dining table.

Amy: Take a seat. Don’t worry. I won’t bite.

— I do as she says. I move slowly, unable to sense whether she is still angry or not.

Amy: First of all, thank you for giving me time to myself. If you had tried to contact me, I probably would have been even more pissed. Now, with that said, I’m sorry…

— Her apology startles me even more than her sudden appearance.

Me: I don’t understand. Why are you apologizing to me? If I wasn’t so shocked, I would be on my knees right now, begging for forgiveness.

Amy: You only did what you did because I was too stubborn to let you in. Don’t get me wrong. Just because I admit fault, it doesn’t make you any less guilty. I’m still pretty pissed that you would do that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand why you did it.

— She goes on to tell me exactly what happened between her and J-hope. Apparently, after being on stage, she forgave him for not telling her about being a trainee. They were already so in love that it didn’t matter to her. People started to recognize him more than when he won his dance competitions. It wasn’t long until the fame got to his head. Mistakes were made, he was caught, and she left him. That day I bumped into him at the café, he went there to meet her. They argued a bit when she wouldn’t take him back. So that’s why he was angry when he saw her backstage.

Me: I’m sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have agreed to help.

Amy: Why did you agree anyway? It’s not like you to jump into something like that without knowing all the details.

Me: Honestly…?

Amy: Nevermind! I think I know you well enough to know the answer to that.

— We both laugh. I really missed her.

Amy: What’s up with you and Taehyung, anyway? Are you two official yet? If you tell me you guys were all lovey-dovey in public before making it official, I will smack both of you upside the head.

Me: Actually, I haven’t spoken to him since that night. I kind of yelled at him after you left.

Amy: Are you crazy?! Just because it’s didn’t work out with J-hope and me, doesn’t mean you guys can’t have a happy ending. Why don’t you give him a call?

Me: Nah. I think it’s a bit too late for that now.

Amy: It’s never too late. I saw you guys together. What you have may not be love just yet, but it’s definitely worth the risk to find out where it can go.

— We end the conversation there and both go to bed. I don’t fall asleep right away. I just lay on my bed thinking about what Amy said. I want to call him. I want to hear his voice and feel the warmth of his embrace. Then again, how can I face him after what I did? If I were him, I wouldn’t want to see me. I stare at my phone, waiting for the voice to persuade me again; but there was nothing. The one time I wish for its guidance, it wants me to decide on my own.