SHADOW

To human beings, shadows can be perceived in many ways like in literature, where shadows depict feelings of gloom and unhappiness, and it can also be used to mean an imperfect imitation or copy. While there are many different meanings to the word ‘shadow’ itself with its various verbs, the most common definition of a shadow would be an area that is not or is only partially irradiated or illuminated because of the interception of radiation by an opaque object between the area and the source of radiation. In simpler terms, shadows are usually seen as non-living things.

However, that is not the case.

In reality, shadows aren’t just non-living things. They are, in fact, very much alive and important in our lives. Shadows are our hidden guardian angels – the ones that we always wish for even though they’ve been right under our noses the whole time. Each shadow has its own distinct personality and a mind of its own. You see, shadows have what humans call ‘superpowers’. Human beings think that only their brains and heart speak for them, but they are missing someone else out – their shadows. Shadows have the ability to help human beings in their own unique way which earns them their name of ‘hidden guardian angels’. How exactly do they help human beings, though? You’ll find out soon enough.

“Good night Sehun! Mommy loves you!” a woman identified as Sehun’s mother cooed while planting a wet kiss onto Sehun’s forehead.

As his mother was preparing to walk out of the room, Sehun’s voice suddenly stopped her in her tracks. “Don’t turn off the lights, please. I’m afraid of the dark.”

To that, his mother chuckled softly and nodded. “Sleep well, my baby,” she said once more before closing the door behind her and leaving Sehun alone in his room.

Sehun tossed and his warm bed, yet he couldn’t find it in him to go to sleep. Fluttering open his eyes, he brushed his bangs away from his face and puffed his  cheeks. He grabbed the soft toy which was lying next to him and squeezed its face in frustration.

“I don’t understand why people love soft toys so much,” he grumbled as he threw the soft toy to his side. Unable to sleep, he proceeded to scramble out of bed and cautiously walked towards the standing light in his room. Staring at the light, he sat down on the floor cross-legged.

Sehun didn’t really like being in dark places. He wasn’t sure if he was too young or if he simply really disliked dark places. Not only did the darkness remind him of the occasional nightmares he would have in his sleep, it also made him feel alone.

Sehun shifted his gaze from the light and onto the floor. His shadow loomed over him and he traced it slowly with his index finger. “At least with the light around, you’re here, aren’t you?” he mumbled.

Of course, Sehun. I’m always here for you.

While other children had imaginary friends to play with, Sehun played with his shadow. His shadow followed him around everywhere and copied whatever he did. Whenever Sehun felt alone, upset, angry or just happy, he would talk to his shadow. Sehun didn’t know why, but talking to his shadow seemed normal and comfortable to him till it became an everyday routine. A wonderful creation, as Sehun always said.

Luhan liked being Sehun’s shadow.  Unlike other children, Sehun actually bothered to attend to Luhan. While the others played catch with each other, Sehun would play catch with him. Sehun never left him out of any games – or anything, for that matter. Sehun made Luhan feel appreciated, and Luhan loved that about Sehun the most.

The first few years of Sehun’s childhood passed by quickly – too quickly, if Luhan could talk – and in another few years, Sehun’s life as well as personality changed. Unlike before, Sehun never paid any attention to Luhan. In contrast to the past, the present Sehun actually liked being in the dark, which meant that his time with Luhan would just disappear for that moment in time. The long talks that they would share (with Sehun doing all of the talking) never took place anymore and quickly, instead of being Sehun’s best friend, Luhan became nothing more than just a shadow.

“You think this is funny, Sehun? You don’t care about me! All you care about is you and yourself! You self-centred !” Sehun’s girlfriend at that time screamed, pounding on Sehun’s broad chest with balled up fists and a tear-stricken face.

Sehun does not reply and instead stared at his girlfriend, expressionless. He watched as she ran away from him, crying endlessly, never to return to him ever again.

On that night, Sehun stayed up in his room all night, with the lights turned off. “Why?” he repeated to himself countless times until it sounded like a mantra.

Why what, Sehun? Cheer up, please?

“Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I show my care and concern to the people whom I love the most in my life?” he screamed, punching the wall with all his might.

Don’t do that, you’ll injure yourself. You’re not stupid… I think you’re the smartest man alive.

A car drove past his window and the shadows of the objects in the streets illuminated into Sehun’s room. Sehun squinted his eyes when the headlights of the car shone into his room and his eyes widen when he sees the shadows. There had been a shadow of a man in his room, standing tall behind him and reaching out to his face. Sehun’s breathing quickened and he walked towards his window. There was no one on the streets; the figure was probably just his imagination. Sehun closed his eyes and couldn’t help but replay what he thought he saw in his mind. And suddenly, Sehun remembered his best friend.

Walking over to his light switch, he flipped them over and in an instant, the dark room was lit up and Luhan showed up.

“…”

There was a silence as Sehun sat on his cold hard floor, cross-legged. He stared down at his shadow and smiled to himself slightly.

“Been a while, huh?” he whispered to Luhan.

Damn right it has. Do you know how much I missed you? How are you feelin-

“My life . I’m only a teenager, yet the adults expect me to be mature and act as they would. I can’t even share my compassion with other people too, because I’m too shy for that. But they don’t understand. Nobody understands. They think I’m just plain cold, when I’m not.”

But Sehun, I understand.

“Why won’t anybody stay with me till the end?”

I’ve always been here, you just never noticed.

With Luhan’s replies going by unheard, Sehun sighed and shook his head. “What am I thinking, talking to an inanimate object?”

I am not just an inanimate object… Sehun, I’m your shadow, your best friend!

As Sehun slept, Luhan loomed over him and softened. He changed from being Sehun’s shadow to his real form. Instead of a mere grey shadow on the ground, a young man replaced it. Luhan had brownish-orange hair, was of Sehun’s height and had eyes that could pierce through any human being. While Luhan was a very beautiful creature like all shadows were, the most wonderful part of him were his wings. From his , two very long pure white and feathery wings emerged, completing his true form as a shadow. You see, shadows weren’t just the shadows that human beings saw. They were much more than that; they were simply breathtaking.

With his soft and delicate fingers, Luhan reached out to Sehun’s face and gently caressed it, wiping away the dried tears that had formed on his face while he cried himself to sleep. “If only you knew how wonderful you actually are,” Luhan whispered, his voice gentle and soft.

“I was always by your side, I was always there. I want to stay by your side so I can’t get any closer, so I can’t even look at you. I really want to go back to the dazzling times, the beautiful days when we were always together and when your smile shined on only me. Is that so much to ask?”

A single tear rolled down from Luhan’s eyes, landing on Sehun’s soft features. Luhan quickly wiped his remaining tears away and turned away from Sehun, only to find himself facing the mirror. He stared at his reflection for a long time, scrutinizing every part of his body. His wings were supposed to be his main highlight, the attraction, the most beautiful part of him, and yet, Luhan didn’t like them one bit. Sure, they were wonderful and amazing, but they were also holding him back from what he really wanted in his life. “If only I wasn’t a shadow… if only I didn’t have these wings… I could be with Sehun, right beside him always, and not just as a shadow. If only…”

Luhan’s pleas went by unheard (or so he thought) as Sehun continued snoring softly in his sleep, undisturbed.

“I hear you, my Child,” a voice suddenly echoed inside of Sehun’s room.

Luhan jumped at the voice and snapped out of his daydream, scanning his surroundings. “Who’s there?” he asked nervously, his eyes darting to every corner of the room.

“It is I, Skia, the God of Shadows,” the voice introduced himself, his voice booming with authority and gentleness at the same time.

Luhan cocked his head to the side and bit his lip. “There is a God of Shadows?” he asked carefully, unsure if his question was offending or not.

“Yes, and I have been watching you, Luhan.”

“You have?”

“Yes. You have a wish to be fulfilled, am I right?”

There is a pause before Luhan answered. He glanced around the room slowly and his gaze stopped by Sehun’s bed. He bowed his head down low and nodded slightly. “Yes,” he mumbled.

“Do you love that boy?” Skia asked affectionately.

Luhan felt a hand touch his head and a warmth embracing him, yet he did not look up to see what it was. Instead, Luhan closed his eyes and pictured Sehun in his mind. In his mind, Sehun was laughing and smiling, free from any problems in the world. He then pictured himself standing beside Sehun, holding hands while taking a stroll in the park. He imagined the two of them sharing jokes and talking to each other and suddenly, Luhan’s heart rate increased. He blushed at his imagination and his eyes fluttered open. “I do.”

“Then I have a proposal for you, Luhan.”

To that, Luhan looked up and sees a ball of light in front of him, shining brighter than any light in the whole wide world. Who would’ve known that the God of Shadows would be something so radiant?

“Which is?”

“You’re going to die.”

A new day begins and Sehun reluctantly wakes up to go to school, groaning as well as complaining as he did so. He was all ready and had already set off for school when he suddenly realized that something was missing. The Sun was shining grandly, its rays bouncing off the various objects and radiating the warmth to the world. Sehun shifted uncomfortably and looked down to the ground, only to find out that there was nothing there for him to look at.

Where was his shadow?

“What in the world? Am I dead?” Sehun muttered to himself, searching underneath him for any sign of his shadow.

“, am I high or something?” he asked once more, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Sehun!” a deep voice called out to him, only to be ignored.

Sehun frowned and squatted down, staring at the Sun and to the ground back and forth. If the Sun was shining was brightly and all the other objects had shadows, where was his shadow?

“What are you searching for?” the voice asked curiously while tapping Sehun’s shoulder.

Sehun shook his head and glanced down to his friend’s shadow. “Jongin, where did my shadow go?”

Jongin scrunched up his face in confusion and squatted down next to Sehun. “It’s right there, see?” Jongin replied, pointing to the ground.

Sehun raised his eyebrows and stared at Jongin. “No it’s not.”

“But it’s right here!” Jongin argued, pointing to the ground below Sehun once more.

“It’s not!”

To that, Jongin’s hand flung towards Sehun’s forehead, making Sehun fall back onto his bottom. “Are you having a fever or something?”

“I’m not!” Sehun snapped, pushing Jongin’s hand away from his face. He then proceeded to stand up, brushing the dirt off of his pants and walk away from Jongin, his hands in his pockets.

“Hey wha – where are you going?”

“To school, ,” Sehun snorted.

“Wait for me then, jackass!” Jongin shouted, standing up himself and running towards Sehun’s direction.

If Jongin could see his shadow, then why couldn’t he? 

“Students, we will be having a new classmate joining us today! Please put your hands together to welcome Luhan, everybody!” Sehun’s homeroom teacher announced as a tall boy entered the classroom shyly, his face as bright as a tomato.

Sehun looked at the new student, uninterested. As if sensing Sehun’s stare on him, Luhan looked up from the ground and exchanged eye contact with Sehun. Sehun blinked repeatedly when a sudden familiarity overcame him.

Why did Luhan seem so familiar?

Sehun shook himself out of his thoughts and instead of paying attention to his teacher, he folded his arms and looked outside of the window.

Footsteps neared Sehun as a few minutes passed and Sehun suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hello, my name is Luhan,” Luhan introduced himself, extending his hand for a handshake.

Sehun widened his eyes and stared at Luhan. Time seemed to stop for the two of them, with Sehun staring at Luhan and Luhan grinning toothily at him, with his hand extended. Sehun blinked as he continued staring at Luhan.

Luhan’s hair seemed to be flying even though there was no wind and his eyes seemed to twinkle playfully, making Sehun feel vulnerable. Luhan also had a subtle warmth radiating from him, which made Sehun feel comfortable. Sehun felt as if he was in a romantic scene from a movie where the main character finds the person that he’d been searching for his whole life.

“My name is Sehun,” Sehun finally replied after what seemed like forever, blushing and accepting Luhan’s handshake.

And for that moment in time, when Sehun glanced down to the floor in embarrassment, his shadow reappeared before him.

For me, hope is a dream that never sleeps. Like a shadow by your side I have always quietly come to you.

Luhan seated himself next to Sehun on that day, and Sehun couldn’t help but feel like he had seen Luhan before.

And it is indeed true that hope is a dream that never sleeps. Now, I am no longer a shadow, and I don’t have to quietly come to you any longer.

“Do I know you, Luhan?”

In fact, I will always be by your side, not as your shadow, but as your friend.

“You are going to die.”

“D- die?” Luhan repeated in shock.

“Yes.”

“But how would that fulfil my wish?”

“To fulfil your wish, it is a criteria that you must remove yourself as your position of being a shadow. When you die, you are no longer a shadow. After your death, you will be reborn as a human being, and you can be together with Sehun.”

“Will I still remember being a shadow?”

“No, you won’t.”

I’ll always hold on to the dreams I want to fulfil with you.

“I accept.”

“Remember this, Luhan, you will forever be my Child. Farewell, my Child, and may you find your true happiness.”

I only have one heart, and that heart will always be towards you forever, Sehun.

“Luhan?”

“Yes?”

“I asked if we knew each other,” Sehun repeated his question.

Luhan turned to look at Sehun and smiled sheepishly, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. “I was wondering the exact same thing, Sehun.”

A/N: lmao was inspired by B2ST's Shadow. it's a really great song omfg i'm so addicted to it.

anyway, hope you enjoyed! will update my other fics soon i suppose

xoxo ♦