Characters: Luhan

 

The flower that loved a deer

 

“I’ve always wondered if my existence was a mistake.”

 

“But Yun Ai! We’ve given you everything we possibly could – money, clothes, and even the school of your choice. If it’s in our power, we have already done so. Why are you still complaining?” She could almost hear her ‘mother’s’ voice chiding her ‘immaturity’ and ‘useless thoughts’.

 

“No,” She whispered softly to herself, a quiet, firm answer that only she could hear audibly. “You’re wrong. Very wrong…”

 

“You’ve missed out the most important aspect of a child’s upbringing.”

 

***

 

“Hey, did you hear? Our school would be bringing a student to an entertainment company to check out their behind-the-scenes operations again this year!”

 

“Yes, I did! But, didn’t they also say that only the top of the cohort would be chosen to go?”

 

“Psh, I’m sure Yun Ai would get chosen by default, as usual.”

 

“But she rejects the offer every year.”

 

“Who does she think she is? Some stuck-up princess? What a waste, giving the golden opportunity to someone like her who doesn’t know how to appreciate it. I heard that the entertainment company also uses the trip as an evaluation of the student, and possibly the student may even be chosen to be a trainee there. What luck!”

 

“Yun Ai is seriously the dumbest in the world for passing that offer.”

 

“Shhh! Too loud and she’ll be able to hear us!”

 

Yun Ai sat at the front of the classroom, her ears closed off from her surroundings, in which she knew that many were speaking of her in her presence as usual. It wasn’t surprising to her, as it has always been that way since young. Both her parents worked in huge foreign companies overseas, had high salaries, and she was pampered with her heart’s desires from a very young age. However, it came with a price: both of them worked like slaves daily for the past fifteen years, day and night without proper rest. And it was shown through on their faces, the delicate streaks of lines that were etched deeply on their foreheads and creasing around their eyes. They were tired, but nothing was done about it. And she grew up not knowing the love of a mother and father, other than the occasional presents that they would send her, and the frequent letters that would be mailed to her doorstep. But it was always the same message.

 

“Dear Yun Ai: How are you? We hope you are doing well. We miss you terribly. Call us soon. Love, Mom & Dad.”

 

However, with a few failed attempts in reaching to their phone, she gave up completely on the hopes of them ever responding back to her call. But she wasn’t always alone. There was an aunt hired to look after her when she was in elementary school, but the aunt proved herself to be a scheming woman who was after the valuables kept at her house. Hence, she chased the old woman out, at the age of 10, and sent a message to her parents that she would rather be living by herself from now onwards. There was never a reply from them, but she was sure they got the message.

 

“Yun Ai?”

 

The familiar voice called; the voice that belonged to none other than her homeroom teacher. “Yes, teacher?” “I know that we’ve been asking this for two years now, and you’ve insisted that you don’t attend any of these field trips…But won’t you just give this year a shot? I’m sure that sending a model student like you will certainly do our school proud there.” “Thank you for your kind offer, teacher. But I am not sure if I really would be a suitable candidate for the trip.” “This is teacher’s plea to you, won’t you please go for this year’s? The single student that went last year proved to be a disgrace to our school, and if the same thing happens again this year…” “Teacher, I-” She insisted, but her words faded away when she saw the jagged look in her teacher’s eyes. “Alright, teacher. But just for this year, I will attend the field trip.” “Thank you, thank you Yun Ai! Now I won’t have to worry any longer.”

 

***

 

The field trip was on a Saturday, and she wore a faded cream dress, paired with a wide straw hat, and leather flats. Dressing up was one of her favorite things to do, because for a moment, she would be able to feel normal; like any other girl. And it wasn’t because she didn’t have a pretty face; she was a beautiful young girl with an admirable handful of suitors. But it was because her heart wasn’t beautiful. It was corrupted with vile thoughts of suicide, blackened like soot with a lack of compassion, and pathetic feelings of self-pity and loneliness. Putting on pretty clothes made her forget that, even if it was just for a little while.

 

“Are you Miss Lee Yun Ai?” The security guard asked, when she approached the situated building location and flashed her student card. “Yes, that is me.” She replied as-a-matter-of-factly, flabbergasted that the guard had to state the obvious when the answer was right in front of him. The guard grunted, and pressed a button, speaking some words into it. Briefly later, the door opened, and there stood a refined old man, who looked too good to be for his old age. He reached out his hand and shook hers warmly. “Welcome, Miss Lee. I’ll be showing you around today, some basic operations and logistics, and if you’re lucky, you might even get to see some of your favorite boy bands, alright?” He said. “Thank you, sir, but I don’t have an interest in boy bands.” She replied. “Oh?” He spoke, his brows raised, and a small smile started forming on his face. “That’s…Rare to hear.” She gave him a surprised look, and he patted her back. “By the way, you can call me Mr. Choi.”

 

Throughout the way where Mr. Choi showed her all sorts of background information and its respective counterparts, she couldn’t help but paid attention to how badly the trainees there were treated instead. Some were yelled at, some even had their instructors baring their fists in front of their face, threatening to beat them up if they were to make another mistake in their practice. “Mr. Choi…May I ask a question?” She probed suddenly. He spun around and clasped his hands together patiently. “Yes, go ahead.” “Why are the trainees being punished?” “No, no! They are not being punished; we’re pushing them to go beyond their limits, so that they will be able to perform outstandingly on stage in the future. It’s all for their own good, so it isn’t a punishment like you said.” “Hm…But it’s like forcing a caged bird to sing out of its own will, don’t you think?” “They had a choice; whether to become a trainee here, or not. And it was their decision to be made. So I believe it isn’t like forcing a caged bird to sing, like you said.” “But-” “Tut tut! Let’s move along now, shall we, Miss Lee?”

 

A particular sight caught her gaze again, as she was walking past the dance studios. A young man in the room alone by himself, standing near the edge of the windowsill. His back facing her, he looked as if he were thinking the exact same thing as her. It felt as if his mind was of the same level of bitterness as hers. He looked almost as if he was about to take his own life. She felt obliged to help him. Leaving Mr. Choi continuing walking down the hallway talking to no one but himself, she entered the dance studio. Upon hearing the opening of the door, the young man spun around, face terrified of the consequences he was about to bear. But his face became confused when he saw her. “You are?”

 

He was what society would deem as a beautiful creation of God, with features that resembled a young fawn, doe-like eyes, petite nose, and a curved pinkish lips. She had never seen a guy like him before. “I-I am a student here on my field trip.” “Ah! The yearly special visit from the schoolgirls. Hm, it seems that they are getting better and better.” “Huh?” “Sorry, I meant that they are getting prettier and prettier.” “Wait…Weren’t you planning to take your life just now?” “What? No! I was just looking out of the window, because the rest of my members left me behind in the building while they went out to get their refreshments without me.” “Oh, I see. Well, have a nice day then. Sorry to intrude, I’ll be on my way now.” She said coldly, and turned around to exit the room. But a pair of soft hands held her back. “Wait! Don’t go. Don’t go so soon.” He pleaded. She gently brushed him off. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Choi would be looking for me by now. I must be on my way.” “Mr. Choi is right behind you.” The young man said, pointing behind her. She gasped, and turned around immediately. But there was no one there. He bursted out laughing. “You!” She growled, before stomping out of the studio. She was appalled by the fact that such a beautiful face had a terrible personality like that. And she had almost mistaken him for someone like herself.