“You’re finally home Wonshik,” My mother sighed tiredly as I shuffled through the door. Nodding, I slung my back on the floor before making an effort to walk forward and hug her. I knew she was about to explode at me, lecturing me about being responsible and all the other I didn’t care about.

                “I’m sorry Umma.”

                “When is this going to stop?” She asked with irritation clear in her voice. “You’re on track to ending up just like your sister and I’m not caring for another child.” I nodded, feeling guilty as I stood with my head bowed even though she was much smaller than me. “I worry about you my boy, you’re my only hope.”

                “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Everything was silent as I looked up to see her crying, silent tears falling down her face as she took in a shaky breath.

                “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have got mad,” she replied after a moment, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug before releasing me and wiping her eyes with the corner of her apron. “Right, I have some food to make.” I let out a long breath as I watched her disappear round the corner, feeling bad for going out when she asked me to be careful. I couldn’t help it though, there was part of being in the gang that said I had to try and attend all occasions. Hongbin was merciless when it came to who the members were, not even sparing me, his long-time best friend, a glance and judging me along with all the rest even if he proclaimed I was his best man. It made me feel slightly sick; an acidic burn in my mouth whenever I thought alone to myself about my life. It could be so much better but unfortunately, I was on the path to the end.

|(^o_o)/

                “I’m going upstairs,” I shouted thoughtlessly and to no one in particular before taking the steps two at a time and heading for my room. Homework was in the back of my mind, song lyrics in the front, as I slumped onto my mattress and pulled my notebook from my bag. Hongbin had been surprisingly pleasant about some of the work I’d done, praising me as though I was a small child once he’d read through my recent lyrics. I didn’t like anyone else seeing what I’d written, but when it came to the leader, nothing could stop him and I was powerless against his wishes.

                “Let’s see,” I grabbed a pencil and twirled it in my fingers as I read through what I’d written earlier.

I can’t stop

The taste is still on my tongue.

The moment our lips came apart (The moment I opened my eyes)

I wanted all of you.

Without time to take action

You’ll come to me secretly.

I knew exactly who I was writing about and I was glad I’d been able to keep that from Hongbin. It was Jaewhan, the blonde from the party. Since the time our lips touched, I couldn’t help but feel like I wanted that to happen again. The memory of that moment kept haunting me, flashing up at unwanted times. I didn’t know how I was going to face everyone at school when all I could picture was Jaewhan. I hadn’t thought it at the time, but looking back at the morning after the party, he’d looked amazing. He looked so clean and fresh whilst I looked like a rag used to wipe a dirty floor. He’d been so kind and hospitable, only for Hongbin to ruin that as usual.

The ringing of my old and battered Nokia resounded through the room, the noise making me jump. Lunging for the object, I didn’t even glance at the screen before pressing the answer button and bringing the phone to my ear.

                “Hello?”

                “Raviiii,” I groaned inwardly when I registered who the person on the other end of the phone was: Hakyeon.

                “Uh ....?” I muttered, my brain hoping that it wasn’t Hakyeon and just someone else whose voice sounded very similar and called me by that name.

                “It’s me, Hakyeon hyung,” He chirped and I couldn’t help but hate the sinking feeling going through me.

                “Oh … hi … hyung,” I coughed out.

                “You don’t sound happy to see me Ravi-ah. You know, if you were a little less grumpy maybe you’d be more popular,” A chord struck in me as he rambled, his words hitting deeper than they were supposed to. I knew I wasn’t that approachable, I knew many people didn’t want to be my friend but Hakyeon didn’t have to rub it in anymore more, “and really you should join more clubs, I mean get out there a little-“

                “Hyung? Why are you calling? And how did you get my number?” I almost growled, fed up with having to accept that everything he was saying was true.

                “Oh uh .... I was ringing to just see how you were,” Hakyeon was stuttering and I could almost feel his blush through the receiver. “And I got your number from ..uh ... Sehun, yeah Sehun.” I frowned, not believing a word the other male was saying as he mumbled.

                “Well, I’m fine hyung but I’ve got work to do so if you don’t mind ...” I suggested that I needed to go, trailing off awkwardly at the end.

                “Oh gosh, yeah, sure uh ... bye.” The dial tone played before I could even mutter the word ‘goodbye’ and all I was left with was confusion. The conversation had become so awkward, so cringy quickly and I wasn’t sure why. Did Hakyeon ‘like’ me? Or was I just reading too far into the ordeal?

Sighing, I looked at my lyric book once more before pushing it to the side and getting out my homework. Even if I didn’t pay much attention in class, I didn't want to have to retake a year, that would be degrading and it would mean more time in the hell hole that was mandatory for everyone to attend. Luckily, if I spent most of a day reading over textbooks and completing the work, I would be able to at least pass through by the skin of my teeth. And I was fine with tests as I’d read through the books.

                “px+2x?” I frowned, maths was never my strength, nothing was, only song writing. I had be struggling with an equation for a good half an hour before I gave up, not wanting to waste any more time on something that I was never going to need ever again in my life.

Shrugging, I stuffed the work in my bag before heading down the stairs to find Minah who was sitting on the couch snuggled up in a blanket my mum knitted for her whilst watching Pororo on the small TV. She looked happy, giggling away as the cartoon flashed across the screen, her hands wrapped tightly around her one and only love: a small teddy she was given when she was a tiny baby.

                “Min?” I asked before sitting next to her. She grinned, showing her teeth before crawling into my lap and snuggling into me. I wrapped my arms around her, sighing as she shoved her thumb into and started to coo softly. I let out chuckle, causing her to look at me as though I was strange before her attention was focused solely on the little penguin.

                “You two look comfortable,” I looked up to see my mother standing in the door with a gentle smile on her face.

                “Yeah,” I mumbled before looking down at my niece and running a hand through her fluffy hair. “Jaeun has no idea what she’s missing.”

                “At least Minah has you,” she commented before producing a bottle of milk for the toddler in my lap and handing it to the little girl. Minah looked at my mother through big, brown eyes before gurgling something and snatching the cup from her hand. She started to sip on it, obviously enjoying the liquid as she settled back to lean against my chest.

                “You enjoying that little girl?” I asked as she giggled away. Turning to me, she the cup into my hands before taking her teddy and showing him to me, lifting his head and wobbling the toy to try and get my attention.

                “For me?” I asked as I took the toy. Her bottom lip wubbered before she shook her head and grabbed the toy back making me laugh a little.

                “What are you doing?” For the second time I looked towards the door, only this time to see Jaeun standing with her fists clenched and pulled back into a snarl. I stared at her, confused as I bounced a clueless Minah in my lap.

                “I’m playing with her,” I stated. Jaeun, obviously not please, stalked forwards before ripping the little girl from my grasp and hoisting her onto her hip.

                “Well don’t!” She hissed and stormed up the stairs, no doubt to plop Minah into her cot before ignoring the child. Sadness and something close to hatred brewed in me as I watched the two of them disappear, not wanting anything more than to follow them and take Minah for myself.

("_")

Hello, I'm back with another update! (Quicker this time I believe)

I hope you're all liking it - please comment and tell me what you think all you silent readers.

Comment/Subscribe/Even upvote? (Thank you for the one I already have x)

Sophie x

#pinktoki - Don't worry! More raven is on the way - please hang in there (^_^)

#SuperSHINeeExotic - I still can't decide! I love them all too much!

#dubedaris - Thank you and I'm so glad you like it! Hongbin is definately gorgeous and you'll have to wait and see if they end up together ;)