DARA

As I stand here on the movie theater’s stage, surrounded by bright lights and deafening cheers, anyone can easily say that I am elated with what’s happening in my life right now. But what they didn’t know is that there’s an anxious feeling lurking inside me. I tried to suppress it before the movie started and I luckily did with the help of—-of that dangerous guy named Kwon Jiyong.

It was crazy, I know! 'Coz, how could I possibly feel comfortable in his presence?

The infamous boss of Seoul’s underworld!

Lahat ng mga balita tungkol sa kanya noon at sa pamilya niya ay nakaka takot. So I don’t understand why I didn’t run away earlier when I saw him? 

 

“So why are you trying to run away from everyone?”
He asked while staring at me intently as if he’s trying to read what’s on my mind. 

I wet my lips and lightly bite it, ‘coz I was thinking if I should tell him about it. 

“I—uhm, I’m just feeling anxious.” 

Humakbang pa siya ng ilang beses kaya napa atras ulit ako. 

“Anxious? Why? Because of your new movie?” 

Tumango lang ako bilang sagot. 

“I heard you’re a good actress.” 

I snorted.

“I hope you could still say that after watching the movie.” Because the thing is, I never find myself that talented. 

Sa paningin ko ay isa pa rin akong baguhan at marami pang kailangan na pag aralan at patunayan para maging magaling. 

“How about this, If you see me still seated at the end of the movie, that means you’re good. I am no movie critic but I don’t watch local movies because I always find it boring. So if I stayed, it means you got my attention. That can also mean you are a good actress and the people you’re running away from will also see that.” 

“Why are you… being nice to me?” I asked with my small voice. 

Sinuksok niya naman yung dalawang kamay niya sa bulsa ng coat niya. 

“Ayaw mo ba?” 

Umiling naman ako agad. Of course I wouldn’t want him to be mad or pissed at me. 

“I’m just—curious.” 

“You’re not an enemy. So I don’t have to be an to you. I may not have a good reputation in this goddamn country but I still know how to be decent, Sandara.” 

That left me speechless kaya natawa siya.

“Stop being anxious, you wouldn’t even be where you are right now if you’re really not that good of an actress. You’re just being too hard on yourself, give the little Dara inside you some credits for being such a great and talented person over the years.” 

Pagkatapos naming mag usap ay hindi ko na ulit siya nakita. 

Nandito pa ba siya? O nanonood ba talaga siya? Sinong nag invite sa kanya? 

Habang nag sasalita si Jae-Suk—yung isa sa mga cast ng movie, ay pa simple kong nilibot ang mga mata ko sa audience. Gusto kong malaman kung nag stay ba talaga siya. 

Bukas na lahat ng ilaw kaya kita ko na ang mga mukha nila. Bawat row ng mga upuan ay sinusuyod ng mga mata ko. Kumukuway din ako kunwari kapag may ngumingiti sakin mula sa mga naka upo. Nang nasa bandang dulo na yung tingin ko ay napansin kong wala halos naka upo sa gawing yun. Titigil na sana ako sa pag hahanap nang mapansin ko yung nag iisang bulto sa dulong row. 

Is that him? 

Hindi pa ako sigurado nung una pero nang makita ko yung suot niyang hoodie ay saka ko lang na kumpirma. Inangat niya ng konti yung black cap niya nang mapansin na naka tingin ako sa gawi niya. Hindi ko ma-aninag ng maayos kung naka ngiti ba siya o naka ngisi dahil masyado na siyang malayo. 

Wow! He really stayed and watched the whole movie?! Ibig sabihin ba ay magaling ako para sa kanya? 

“Dara? Sandara?” Kalabit sakin ni Jae-Suk.

“A-ahh, yes?” Napa tuwid ako ng tayo at saka ngumiti sa kanilang lahat dahil naka tingin pala sila sakin. 

Hindi ko agad narinig na tinatawag na pala nila ako kanina dahil turn ko na para mag pasalamat. They all laughed because of my zoning out. 

“Sorry about that, was just thinking about dinner.” Biro ko bago nag simula sa speech na kinabisado ko kagabi. 

After the endless ‘Congratulations’ and ‘Thank you’s’ ay nag mamadali akong lumapit sa team ko. 

There’s JuJ