BALI

 Aku ingin bersamamu cuma pada dua waktu: Sekarang dan Selamanya

I want to be with you only in two times: Now and Forever.

Whoosh.

The wind sighs softly, greeting good morning for the male with thin blue sweater wrapping his small body. Baekhyun inhales the strong, salty-smelled air in a long and deep breathe while his ears get relaxed by the soft sound of the calm waves and the chirps of birds above his head. The morning sun gleams with golden orange and pink on the east horizon of the sky as it is shyly crawling up, reflecting its rich color to the surface of the water, lighting the lonely gazebo standing elegantly on the coast which sticks out to the ocean, and grazing the outline of Nusa Penida island in the background.

Baekhyun holds his camera up and takes the picture of the simple gazebo, of the sunrise, of the island afar, capturing the burst of beautiful colors in one moment.

They arrived at Ngurah Rai airport kind of late at night, which means they missed the opportunity to go to beach as soon as they step their feet in Bali. Plus the jetlag the smaller was feeling, it was impossible at all to play sands and swim. So he woke up at four the next day, as the guide they hired suggested, so they can start their journey at five, driving to Sanur Beach which is known for its beautiful view of sunrise. Sanur, unlike the livelier scenes of Kuta and Legian, offers an overall laidback atmosphere.

Whoosh.

The sand, however, feels soft and warm under his bare feet. It is heart-warming; he can’t help but let a smile slowly yet surely starts to spread across his cheeks, grazing the chisel of his face with undeniable beauty.

The waves are beautiful, the way one chases after another, running to the shore like kids playing together. The sound of the wave is their loud laughter, people say, not that he knows. It is reassuring; the way they break as they touch his ankle before retreats, letting the sand his feet slowly, only to come back, and retreat, and come back, again and again. Like some pull and push game. And after what seems like eternity, Baekhyun found himself buried half ankle deep in the sand.

Baekhyun looks down at his wiggling toes, a baby crab just brushes them before quickly disappears again inside the soft wet sand. Baekhyun had caught one earlier, and released it back as he has no intention to keep the poor cute little being. Another wave comes, poking him to the ankle, and when it runs back to the ocean, some wet sands are rebelling against him by staying between his nails. He picks up his camera again, ready to take another picture when another pair of feet appears before his.

Whoosh.

Baekhyun looks up. And no matters how many beautiful views he had ever witnessed, no matters how many breathtaking moments he had, they had together, Park Chanyeol standing before him, blocking the sunrays and making himself glowing like that still steals Baekhyun’s breathe.

He is gorgeous. He always is. But now, with his thin white shirt, messy hair, fragipani flower slipped behind his ear—the same white and bright yellow colored flower from Kamboja tree that also rests behind Baekhyun’s right ear—with all the rays of morning sun around him, and the ocean on the background, Chanyeol seems to be unreal.

So he takes a picture of him. And two. And maybe three. Maybe four? Until Chanyeol puts his hand on the camera and pulls it down gently.

“Stop taking picture,” he says with an easy smile, as if he didn’t just rob the sunlight from its glory with only a single smile.  “The camera is blocking the view. I want to see you too...”

Blush creeps up Baekhyun’s plump cheeks. He fists the taller lightly on the shoulder, just to distract Chanyeol from teasing him further. And then he makes a Y using his hand by making a fist and lets the thumb and the baby finger poke out, he wiggles them in front of his nose.

Silly, he was saying. We went so far here to see beach and beautiful scenery! Not me!

Chuckling, Chanyeol replies with the same hands language he had come to master. After almost three years into relationship, how not to? Wiggling his Y hand, the taller makes D handshape by puting both of his hand in front of chest then pulls his index fingers in twice.

Silly, what should I do then? You are more beautiful than the beach, slowly he says, with his thumb pointing his chin and the rest of the fingers pointing up which he completes the sign later by rolling his fingers overs his face to say the word ‘beautiful’.

STOP IT!!!

Baekhyun puts the side of his hand in the middle of his other palm like chopping something and stomped on his feet on the sands as he moves camera on his face, just to cover how red he is right now. Chanyeol smiles. He doesn’t try to run after the smaller immediately. He doesn’t need to.

And before Baekhyun can go so far to the paved walk that spread along the coast, he found his waist being wrapped by a pair of strong arms from behind. Then, a chin rests on his shoulder along with the musky smell he is so familiar with.

Chanyeol… we are in public.

Baekhyun wiggles, trying to escape. There is no one around but the sand, and the waves. But still, he just can’t fight the redness of his face right now.

“Five more minutes,” Chanyeol whispers. Even if Baekhyun can’t hear him, the latter doesn’t move then. It is as if there is more than it. More than words they can exchange. “Let’s be like this for five more minutes.”

Sanur probably isn’t the most wonderful place he had ever visited. But the calm of the atmosphere, the glowing sunshine on the sand, and Byun Baekhyun in his arm, everything is just perfect. It is breathtaking.

And in that five minute, between the silence of the morning and the gentle noises of the sea, they both think back what brings them here.

***

                [A week before]

Baekhyun makes a gesture with his trembling hands, sorrow in his eyes and all his body language literally screams pain. He lifts the pinky finger of his right hand, crossing both his fists in front of his chest, and then points his index to Chanyeol’s chest.

I love you, Baekhyun was clearly saying. That simple word. The word he knows first, he learned first. Yet he saw himself struggling hard to get the meaning. He saw an of himself when he just turned his back on Baekhyun and let the man crumpled behind like scattered paper hearts.

Chanyeol… he silently calls for him, screams for him. And yet he never turns back.

Chanyeol wants to slap himself, beats himself bloody. Why does he do that? What is he doing?!

He shakes himself. This is the bad dream he wants to escape from soon. This is the bad dream that feels so real... As if he had been living that life. As if... it happened, in another life.

And he is probably here to fix his past mistake.

I love you Chanyeol... I love you.

Chanyeol flutters his eyes open, blinking a couple beads of tears out of his eyes, letting them drop down the curve of his eyes to his ears.

He saw Baekhyun then, looming over him.  Worried written all over the beautiful face of the smaller male as he helps Chanyeol to sit up.

You’re trashing in your sleep. Are you okay?

Before Baekhyun could roll his thumb to finish saying ‘okay’ in his sentence, Chanyeol already quick to leans over and hug the male so tight it knocks the air out of Baekhyun.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I love you,” he mumbles, burying his face in the crook of his lover’s neck and wet his pajama top with some drops of tears.

It hurts, somehow. The dream. The feeling inside his chest. And he doesn’t even know why.

***

“Oppa! Oppa!”  A girl with a high ponytail and cute strawberry hair pin tugs Baekhyun’s sweater’s sleeve to get his attention. It works. When Baekhyun looks at her, she blinks her beautiful pair of big eyes. Her small pink lips move cutely as she speaks, “how do you do this?”

The little girl, no older than six shows Baekhyun her pink origami paper, slightly crumpled from all the wrong ways in folding. Smiling, Baekhyun takes the paper and starts to show her how to fold it correctly into a paper plane.

This, he uses his hands to speak, can’t help but to do so despite the kid who wouldn’t even understand. This is how you do it!

The kid stares at him for a while, amazed by the gesture instead of the paper plane the adult has done. “How do you do that?”

Do what? He asks again. This time, in a playful way, proudly showing the way his dainty fingers dance. Like this?

“Teach me!” The girl clings to Baekhyun’s arm, then another friend of her, then another friend again.

“Teach us, Oppa!”

“Please teach us!”

You are so cute. He ruffles their hair and pinches their cheek fondly when Kyungsoo pokes him in the shoulder.

 “So you want to bring him in a honeymoon?”

That guy, bestfriend of him, and no taller, likes to speak in the same language as Baekhyun. But not this time as both of his hands are occupied in origami paper he is folding. Paper planes in all colors scattered all over the long table. More were put in a big glasses jar.

Quickly, Baekhyun smacked Kyungsoo’s arm. Don’t put it that way. It’s holiday! Holiday! He gives unnecessary extra pressure in the word ‘holiday’ by putting both of his palm facing each other across his chest and wiggles them many times.

He is having nightmares lately, Baekhyun continues, still with so much energy. And it’s near our anniversary too. He has always been the one giving surprises to me in each of our anniversary. I want to do that too. Now I want to be the one giving him surprise on our third year!

“Have you thought of a place?”

Hm! Without Baekhyun reaches for his bag and pulls out a small paper that looks like a pamphlet. When he puts it on Kyungsoo’s palm, it shows a picture of a beach, a beautiful beach in a tropical place, with some sentence that seems like a promotion from some travel agency.

“Bali?”

Baekhyun nodd