Jeungpyeong, 10 am

There were sweat drops forming on Ryeowook’s forehead as he waited outside on the curb of the narrow street at the back of the Army Headquarters. The bright sun was starting to burn the exposed skin of his face, neck and arms. Inside, he had said his goodbyes to  sunbaes and hoobaes, shed plenty of tears, and promised to keep in touch. Now out in the sun, clad in his military combat uniform, he was waiting for his hyungs to arrive and officially pick  him up from the military.

The Super TV camera crew from XtvN were already there, all set up and waiting. This was apparently going to be a Ryeowook Discharge Special episode. After the official discharge ceremony was over, he and his hyungs would fly to Jeju Island for a two day shoot.

Ryeowook strained his puffy eyes looking into the distance at the end of the street. His hyungs were an hour late. Not that it surprised him anymore. Super Junior was … well, Super Junior. They must have stopped on the way for snacks, Ryeowook thought with a chuckle. But he didn’t mind. He had waited two years for this day. An hour more was nothing.

All his hyungs who visited him during these two years kept saying ‘Ryeowook ah, You look different’  ‘Ryeowook ah, you have changed a lot.’  He had. Physique wise, he had lost weight, his muscles had become well-toned, his skin was clearer than ever, and his complexion, glowing.  The changes could perhaps be attributed to the disciplined life in the army, the exercise regime, the fresh air, the healthy food, the Vitamin C tablets that he religiously took, and the new social circle he had built. Mentally too, Ryeowook felt like a different person.  He had become stronger, mature, more confident.

All his hyungs visited him at least once during these two years. Well, all except one. The one that Ryeowook dearly wished, every single day for two years,  would one day turn up at his camp. Every time he was informed that he had an unexpected visitor, he would get his hopes up. With his heart beating in excitement, half- walking, half- running, he would make his way to the visitors area. But every time it would turn out to be someone else. And every time he would end up disappointed. His Yesung hyung never visited.

When the other members visited him, they would always share information about what the group was doing. They would also talk about each member’s current solo activities. Apparently ever since Wook enlisted, Yesung had been flooded with individual projects.  There was always this musical, that TV show, this drama and that concert, which kept his hyung continuously busy. Eyes down and with a heavy heart, Wook nodded politely as he listened to his visitor talk about Yesung’s schedules. But Ryeowook was nothing if not considerate. He comforted himself that his hyung was too busy with work to visit. He believed that if Yesung could have afforded some time to come see him, he most certainly would have.

Which was why the maknae was eagerly waiting for his discharge day. He knew that Yesung wouldn’t miss it for the world. Three weeks before, he had managed to find out from Sungmin that Yesung had no schedules on his special day. And since then he was on cloud nine. As the day of his discharge drew closer there was a spring in his step, a twinkle in his eye, and a radiance in his smile that was ever so conspicuous to anyone who came in contact with him at camp. They all imagined that it was the soon-to-arrive, well-earned freedom that had him in high spirits. Well, they were right. Kind of. There was the freedom. And then there was also …. Yesung hyung.

Standing under the scorching heat of the July sun, Ryeowook let his thoughts drift back to his enlistment day in 2016. How afraid he was, how alone he felt. Yesung’s busy schedule did not  allow him to make it to Wook’s enlistment ceremony. He had brought the maknae dinner two days before, and sent an encouraging text the night before. And that was it. It perplexed Wook to no end that during these two years his hyung didn’t visit him even once. He had always worried that their relationship wouldn’t be same after the two years of separation. A lot of things happen in two years - people change, tastes change, circumstances change.

But the funny thing was, Ryeowook’s mind never changed. He still felt the same way about Yesung as he felt thirteen years ago. Whenever Yesung looked up and smiled at him, his heart always skipped a beat - be it during a performance, on a shoot, or when they were sitting across from each other during team dinner. Yesung hyung’s simplest of touches sent electricity surging through his body. A thousand violins played in his ears every time Yesung hugged him. Yesung, who was soft and warm, who always found ways to cheer him up,  who offered words of comfort, and who unfailingly protected him from the incessant bullying and teasing he had to endure from the other hyungs when he entered SM as a rookie.

 

Ryeowook looked at his watch again for the umpteenth time. Any minute now. Any minute a company van with tinted windows would turn around the corner and arrive through the gates. Any minute now the doors would slide open and  a lean slender figure would walk out. With a tender smile, he would stretch his arms out. And Ryeowook knew exactly what he was going to do next. He smiled at the thought.
 

He had it all planned. He practically couldn’t sleep with excitement these past two weeks thinking of how he would orchestrate the perfect hug. He had practised The Hug a million times in his mind. Yewook fans would go wild, he thought, and the rest of the world would write it off as fan service. But for him, it was what he had been waiting to do for two years. He would hug his hyung, pull him closer till they became one, breathe him in,  and... and then cry into his chest. He wanted his hyung to know how much he missed him, how much he wanted him, and how much he loved him. And though he would never dare do it in reality (especially with all the cameras around), his discharge day reunion fantasies always ended with him kissing Yesung.

A black van came cruising through the gates pulling Ryeowook out of his reverie. It came to a stop few metres away from him. The maknae’s heart began doing somersaults as the door of the van slid open.

“Ryeowook aaaa…” Leeteuk came out screaming, holding a selfie stick with his phone recording. Ryeowook, suddenly becoming shy and self conscious, stood rooted to his spot and beamed. “Chasin isseooooo…,” said Eunhyuk as he jumped out. “High Five Hajimaaa…” shouted Siwon grinning widely. “Sergeant Kim Ryeowook !!!!” screamed Donghae as he exited the van.

Ryeowook counted the members - Four. He gazed at the open door of the van expectantly. When no one appeared he looked back at the four members who were standing, smiling at him. His face fell. No, he thought .. it couldn’t be..
 

Was he arriving separately? Maybe he had overslept? That seemed impossible. Everyone knows Yesung hyung never sleeps for more than  four hours a day. Perhaps he had some early morning shoot and so couldn’t come together with these four. Maybe he was on his way in his own car just around the corner?

Hundreds of thoughts raced through Ryeowook's brain within a matter of seconds - his mind refusing to accept the reality that Yesung didn’t come to receive him on his discharge day. Disappointment written all over his face, the words slipped out of his mouth before he could regain control over his senses. “Yesung hyung odigasseo?”

His voice  was cranky and petulant,  a stark contrast to the joy and excitement he was radiating just a few seconds ago. He glared at the members, demanding an answer. “Where is Yesung hyung?”  he repeated. The four members, however, just stood around, eyes averted and not really answering the question.

Ryeowook could not believe it. His hyung did not come.  His hyung did not care. It took a while for this to sink in. He felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. But before he had the time to collect himself and make sense of what was happening, Donghae lined up all the members and asked Ryeowook to hug one of them.

“Hug?” Ryeowook repeated staring blankly into Donghae’s face. The world around him was spinning and he was having a hard time comprehending what was being required of him. Donghae pushed him a couple of metres away from the members. 

“We made a bet on our way here,”  Donghae spoke with a sense of urgency. “We want to find out which one of  your hyungs you will be hugging first.”

Ryeowook  hesitated for a few seconds gathering his thoughts. He saw the four members standing in a row a few metres away from him, with their arms outstretched. He became aware of the cameras that swooped in from all directions to catch the supposedly touching moment. Everything  started to slowly make sense. Blinking back tears and forcing a smile, he willed himself to walk forward with his arms open. For all he cared, Ryeowook would have hugged the lamp post that stood beside the members. Because the one person he truly wanted to hug, wasn’t here.