Lalisa Manoban.

That name burned deep inside me and I knew I wouldn't forget that name easily.

It has made its way and somehow it embedded itself in the deepest and darkest part of my heart. The name was carved inside my brain as the memories of the past constantly reminds me of what I have done.

And everytime I speak of her name, bile seems to rise from my throat and cover my whole mouth with its bitterness and I shiver because it wasn't like that before. 

It wasn't bitter and it wasn't painful. 

Because it used to taste sweet and it rolled off my tongue smoothly.
 

I held it with power.

Uttered it with a smile on my face and lightness in my heart.

Lalisa Manoban, that girl years ago who covered the table with books just so I could sleep in peace and hide me from the view of the old librarian.

The one who was a stuttering mess when I first saw her stack books infront of me. The one who couldn't even look me in the eyes.

The same Lisa that the girl with deep dimples and angelic face- Palisa has warned me about.

And the same girl who I put through hell... literally because of immaturity and ego.

Helmet.

That was the name I coined after seeing her helmet like hair that one time when she was alone, seated on the bleachers of the university. The time where small Chaeyoung pointed her out and told me that she's weird and she doesn't speak at all.

The shy girl who couldn't even utter a single word, who sounded like swswsws when mumbling something under her breath.

She's the one whe one who smelled like strawberries when I hugged her, that one time after graduation just because I won the bet and for other shallow reasons.

The one with pretty eyes and long lashes. Her brown doe eyes reminded me of caramel or honey that when hit with sunlight, it glows.

But things change. People change.

Because she doesn't smell like strawberries anymore. She smelled faintly of vanilla and sometimes, a scent I couldn't recognize because it smelled of luxury and too expensive for me to know the brand.

And her eyes doesn't have that glow anymore. That even when she was outside and the rays of the sun hit her caramel orbs, it looked dull and distant.

She doesn't even stutter anymore.

Gone was the shy girl in college.

Instead, she walks with grace and there's this air of confidence that surrounds her. She exudes power and her mere presence demands attention from everyone in the room. But she doesn't beg for it. Heads just snap toward her, curious or admiring from afar but sometimes, with envy and bitterness.

Lalisa Manoban, one the youngest CEOs in Seoul. The fresh meat that drove the wolves of business away and was even seen as more ruthless than her predecessor.

Lalisa Manoban, the woman who stood tall and proud, and utterly breathtaking in her expensive suit and hooded eyes.

Her gaze was enough to make men who are a foot or more taller than her crumble in fear and women who are much older than her, shudder in its intensity and would tend to look away. 

I wasn't an exception to that as I internally cower in deep shame and regret but endure every cold sweep of her gaze and every twitch of .

She was looking at me with a deep crease in her brows and a scowl on her face but I didn't back down. Despite my heart loudly thrumming in my chest and my ears pulsating from nervousness, I held her gaze and stood taller in my place.

"You're aware of what you've done, aren't you?" Her voice was flat, indicating no sign of anger or any emotion.

I nodded stiffly. "Yes, but I didn't do anything wrong. There was-"

She looked up from the papers she was holding, "Did I ask you to explain?"

"No, bu-"

"I was told that in law school, if you are not asked to explain nor put examples, you stick with your answers. Is that right?"

Her voice was calm. Too calm for my liking that it brought a deeper level of fear inside me.
 

The calm before the storm.

"Yes. You are correct."

She hummed, taking a look at the papers once again and her lips twitched when she probably reached that part which was also the reason why I was called in here.

She was silent for a long time and I forced myself to keep breathing with my nose and out through my mouth. The silence was too loud that I could hear the distinct sound of traffic from below the building and the constant hum of the lights around us and my heart that was running at a hundred