Sana looks at the paper bag. On it is written a brand not too luxurious nor cheap. She can’t believe it. Months ago, she only dreamt of buying it for her mom. Now, she actually did it.

 

When she was younger, her mother would bring her to the mall to stroll whenever she’d get a high score in a test. And every time, her mother would always stop in front of the store to look at the bag.

 

Her mom had always admired it. A black leather handbag. Quite plain, actually. She doesn’t get what her mother saw in it, but if it’s what her mother wants then who is she to judge?

 

Sana was a good student. Keyword: was. Her teachers and mother thought wrong after all. She couldn’t find it in her to be the student she was when she was younger. Maybe she got burnt out. Maybe she really wasn’t smart. Maybe she realized the system was never fit for her to succeed and she lost the will. Whatever the reason was, Sana couldn't care less now.

 

She tilts her head to read the brand. She chuckles. Her mother would be happy for sure. She wonders if she could get a warm hug. Her mother’s birthday is three days from now, but she can’t wait to give it to her already and see her reaction. She doesn’t have the patience to wait for another three days when she could give it to her today.

 

Carefully, she places the paper bag on their coffee table. When she thinks it’s a bit splayed, she fixes it and makes sure it’s placed on the center. She sits back, places the both of her hands on her lap while her knees are together, and looks. It still looks wrong.

 

Fidgeting, she taps her fingers on her knees. It looks wrong but there’s nothing wrong. She stands up and places it on their deflated couch. She looks at it and wonders if her mother will notice it first when she enters the house.

 

“No,” she shakes her head. Their house is small, but her mother would go straight to the kitchen to drink a glass of water when she gets home. Sana thinks of putting it on their dining table, but their front door flies open.

 

“Mom—” Sana says, wide eyed. The bag is in her hand, and she feels like a child caught doing something she’s not supposed to. 

 

“Don’t you have somewhere to go to?” Her mother closes the door behind her and sighs as she rubs her temple. Sana immediately runs to her and takes her handbag she has been using for years. The leather is worn off and peeled. 

 

“Not my shift yet,” she guides her mother to their couch. Then, she goes to the kitchen to get her mother a glass of water. When she comes back, her mother is checking out the paper bag.

 

“What’s this useless thing you bought again?” She frowns at Sana.

 

Sana smiles at her. “It’s for you.”

 

“For me?”

 

“Yeah, it’s an early birthday gift. Open it.” Her mother flashes her a confused look before doing so. She smiles to encourage her. Deep inside, she tries to conceal her excitement. It takes everything in her not to squeal and jump on the seat beside her mother.

 

Her mother frowns at her. “You really don’t learn, do you?

 

“What?” Sana sits beside her. She gets her mother’s old bag and shows it to her. “It’s all worn off, see?” She shows her all the peeled off parts.

 

“And where did you get the money?” she glares. The three dots at the back of her mother’s ear burn. It hurts Sana too much to look at it. 

 

Every cured person has that scar. Three dots placed like a triangle behind their ears. It’s a sign someone has already undergone the procedure. 

 

“I’ve been saving up.” She smiles, trying to lift her mother’s spirit. But her mother shakes her head and massages her temple.Her mother’s hand lies beside hers. 

 

Sana’s tempted to hold it. She looks at her mother who’s not very happy with what she did and decides against it. Her mother would burst if she held her hand for sure.

 

“You really are your father’s child.”

 

Sana avoids her mother’s gaze and closes her eyes. She feels the weight beside her being lifted, telling her her mother stands up. “Can I ask something about him?” She says almost whispering.

“You’re still curious about that man? All these years, I suffered to keep you alive without him, and you still think about him?” Sana could feel her mother’s voice shake. She looks at her and tries holding her hand to calm her down, but her mother slaps her hand away. She wishes she closed her eyes a little longer.

 

“No, don’t touch me. How ungrateful of you. I know the life I give you isn’t good enough to send you to Xavier, but at least show some respect.”

 

“It’s not like that, mom.” Sana turns.

 

“And now you’re talking back? Huh, when you get cured you’ll be so ashamed of yourself right now.” Her mother crosses her arms and avoids her gaze. 

 

Sana could feel tears threatening to escape her eyes. Then, a drop falls. She immediately wipes it. She could feel her breathing get uneven, so she takes deeper breaths. She inhales before saying “I’m sorry, mom.”

 

Of course, what did she expect? Obviously her mother would be mad. At her father. At her. But it’s her fault for not being considerate enough, right? 

 

Her mother suffered the most when her father disappeared, she should know it because she witnessed how their life went downhill. From the bottom, to the very bottom.

 

“If you’re really sorry, you wouldn’t ask about him. I told you this the first time, but you didn’t listen.” Her mother’s tone isn’t very soft now. With their thin walls and cramped neighborhood. She’s sure as hell their neighbors could hear them right now.

 

She doesn’t know what to say. The first time Sana asked her about him was when she didn’t get a call from her father in a month. As a child, she was naturally curious as to why her father hadn't called in a month when he made sure to call her almost every three days.

 

Gently, she wipes her tears away. She doesn’t want to hold a grudge against her mother. Of course it was hard for her to raise a child on her own. 

 

It’s not her mother’s fault she gets triggered every time Sana mentions her father. She should have been more sensitive.

 

“I’m sorry, mom.” she says again.

 

“Governor Kim will give out relief goods at your school later. Go get ours.” Her mother says coldly. She gets her things and turns her back at Sana. “I’m tired.” She shuts her door loudly. Sana jumps in surprise.

 

It was always like this with her mom.

 

---

 

The sun burns against their skin. She leans closer to Jihyo who’s fanning herself with one of Governor Kim’s flyers. Sana doesn’t know where hers went. She thinks she drops hers. Beside her, Momo lets out a loud sigh.

 

“He’s already fifteen minutes late. Can VIPs respect our time, too?” She crosses her arms. They’re in their school’s field right now, where the relief goods will be distributed. They’re patiently waiting for the Governor while the whole town’s cramped into the field. 

 

“Momo, lower your voice. Other people might hear you.” Jeongyeon hits her with her baseball cap, snatches her flyer and wraps her shoulders around her. She uses it to fan both of them.

 

“Oh yeah? I don't care. They can all come at me and I will fistfight them one by one.” she raises her fist.

 

“Momo, I will fight beside you.” Sana punches the air while doing sound effects, her famous osaka punch move.

 

Jihyo hits Sana and Momo with her flyer. “Is fighting all you’re good for?” She hits them again. “Can you stop talking about fighting?”

 

“You’re saying that like you don’t get us into a fight every damn week,” Jeongyeon snaps at her.

 

“Ouch,” Jeongyeon shouts at Jihyo when she hits her. “What the was that for?”

 

“You’re really taking sides on this one, Yoo? I thought you’re supposed to be the neutral one.” Jihyo scoffs.

 

“Who said I’m taking sides?!” Jeongyeon wraps her arm around Jihyo’s neck and brings her down to pinch her ears.

 

“Yah, Yoo Jeongyeon!” Jihyo tries to get out of Jeongyeon’s arms, but she can’t. She looks for Sana’s hands and signals her to help her. 

 

But the girl is chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight!” with Momo.

 

Before an adult stops them, the crowd splits into two. Men wearing black suits run to clear the way. And in the middle, Governor Kim waves his hand and smiles at his people. The governor has arrived.

 

Jihyo catches her breath and fixes her hair. She squints to see better. “I thought someone finally came to arrest you.” She elbows Jeongyeon. 

 

The other girl glares at her. “If you don’t shut your mouth, I will turn you in.”

 

Their ‘leader’ shrugs her shoulders and forces them to form a straight line. “Behave so we can get ours immediately and go home. I have a band practice at three.”

 

“Can we come?” Sana asks her.

 

“Sure, Dahyun will be glad to see you.” She smiles at her. Sana giggles when Jihyo mentions Dahyun’s name. She made four (three) friends when Jihyo joined her band.

 

Kim Dahyun is a pure ball of sunshine. Sana would argue with anyone who thinks otherwise. That girl is her breath of fresh air after a long day. Something about her makes Sana feel at ease. When she’s around her, everything becomes lighter and all her worries disappear.

 

Dahyun—

 

“What’s Dahyun doing here?” Momo asks them.

 

“Where?” Sana immediately looks around the crowd. 

 

“There,” Momo points to her direction. “Dahyun, Dahyun, Dahyun!” Momo jumps while calling the other girl, but it’s too crowded and loud and Dahyun doesn't hear her.

 

“Does she need relief goods too?” Sana frowns. That doesn’t make sense. Dahyun’s rich. She’s from one of the wealthiest families in their town. Why would Dahyun need relief goods?

 

Jihyo swats her again with her flyer. “She’s obviously here to help distribute.” Jihyo looks at the flyer that says ‘Governor Kim for President.’ “I wonder if they’re related.

 

“She’s his niece.” Jeongyeon says absentmindedly while watching the girl. The three of them look at Jeongyeon. “What?”

 

“How did you know?” Sana eyes her suspiciously.

 

“I—“ Jeongyeon trails. “I connected the dots! They’re both Kim, see?” Jeongyeon shows them the flyer. 

 

“That makes sense, but what if she’s his daughter?” Jihyo asks.

 

“Eyyy, you know the Governor only has one son.” Jeongyeon elbows her.

 

“Ohh,” Sana and Momo tease. “As expected of our college girl.” Sana ruffles Jeongyeon’s hair. Jeongyeon hits her with her cap to make her stop. College girl. They call Jeongyeon that because she’s the only one who’s planning to go to college.

 

The whispers around them grow. The adults start talking to themselves. Confused, Sana looks around trying to pinpoint the center of attention.

 

 They flash the girl who just arrived with a judging look. Everyone forms a group and exchanges words about the girl.

 

“Is that?” the adult in front of them asks.

 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s her. Lower your voice.” the other person warns them. Sana looks at the girl, and closes her fist too tight her knuckles turn white.

 

“Why is everyone talking about her?” Jihyo asks them.

 

Momo shrugs. “No clue.” 

 

Jeongyeon on the other hand looks at Sana. She looks at her like she’s trying to tell something. Perhaps something only the two of them know.

 

Slowly, Sana feels like she’s being suffocated. Her breathing becomes heavy and the air around them feels thick. She can feel her sticky sweat against her skin. The sun is also not helping.

 

Sana steadies her breathing. She still wears the same white dress and the same innocent look on her face. Like how she saw her in their house before Jihyo’s audition. She wants to drag her out of there and save her from all the ruckus, but she can’t. She just can’t.

 

She wants to talk to her. Wants to know how she has been. Wants to know where she went all these years. Wants to apologize. 

 

“Sana, you okay?” Momo fixes her hair. 

 

Sana lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She closes her eyes and whispers weakly, “Yeah.”

 

“Do you know her?” Jihyo presses.

 

Know her? Does Sana know her? Is it the right question to ask? For sure, Sana knows her. But the real question here is if the other girl still knows her, because Sana hasn’t stopped thinking about her all these years. And now she’s back. With no warning. No heads up. No news of how she’s been all along.

 

Before Sana could answer, a person in front of them catches their attention. The people around them start clapping and cheering. Sana gets pushed by a stranger and Jihyo pushes the stranger back. Jeongyeon pulls Sana closer to her and Momo to protect her.

 

Governor Kim stands at their makeshift stage. Behind him, there’s a huge banner that says ‘GOVERNOR KIM FOR PRESIDENT’. His official color is red and white. 

 

Sana finds it ironic. Why would you use red as your color when clearly it’s been prejudiced with so many ideologies people would rather forget. She doesn’t get it for now.

 

The governor greets his people. The same people he slandered. The same people he threatened to demolish their houses for the sake of building new infrastructures to ‘improve’ their town when in reality it’s to manipulate them into giving up what they have for the interest of the ruling class.

 

A small figure catches Sana’s attention. She almost forgot Dahyun’s there. A ray of sunlight hits Sana’s eyes, and it creates a halo above Dahyun’s head, skin glowing like  she’s a porcelain doll.

“When I become the president, I assure each and every one of you I will keep in mind all your concerns and will do my best to fix it. As your fellow citizen from this small town of ours, I swear I will make sure our town will be well-known, a lot of people will invest in us and our lands.” The people clap and shout. They started chanting his name and praising him for his words.

 

But they’re forgetting one thing, they don’t have an economy of their own and more investors means more people getting kicked out of their houses to build infrastructures. Sana wants to shout.

 

It’s not the change they would all want. It’s not the change all of them have been dreaming of collectively. He’s a traditional politician, and his words are empty.

 

Then, she looks around her. It occurs to her. Cured people are the robot of the government. Regardless of their class, people would do anything for the government. It’s how cured people are wired. One word from the government and they’re satisfied.

 

Cured people never listen to the uncured and always tell them they would never understand. They say they’re young and their beliefs are still clouded, but they’ll eventually understand after the procedure.

 

Cured people paint after procedure as paradise. Because all you have to do is work your off until you feel like fainting, then you’re good to go. 

 

They like being a slave for the system, being used by the system. They like to chew on the red pill so bad they forgot the blue pill exists.

 

“Do you think he’ll win?” Jihyo lightly punches Momo’s shoulder. Momo looks at them with clouded eyes. Sana looks at her fists and sees her knuckles are white. When Momo realizes Sana’s looking at it, she stretches it open and avoids her gaze.

 

“I’m not victim blaming, don’t get me wrong, but you know how ignorant cured people can be.” She shrugs. “And it’s not like the opposing candidate’s well known. I didn’t even know about him before he announced he’s running for president. Had to search him up first, remember?”

 

The three of them nod. Momo once explained to them that the opposing candidate is a congressman who likes to work behind the shadows.. or rather dodge his responsibilities but still manage to look like he’s doing his job.

 

Out of everyone, Momo’s invested in politics the most. At first, Sana didn’t really understand, but after Momo patiently explains to the three of them what’s wrong about the system. She eventually did.

 

For an ex lumpenproletariat (or maybe they still are considering their last gig at Xavier was not too long ago), even though some do not consider them as proletariat, they know too much about what’s happening inside the border. And everything they know, they know through Momo and pc number thirteen they always share at an internet cafe they often spend their entire afternoon at. 

 

(This is not the pre-cure era, but maybe because if a revolution were to spark, proletariats would be the one to lead it because they have the leadership, patience, and everything you need in the rev movement. They're also the ones who experience the oppression first hand and take the most critical hit out of it.)

 

People start falling in line properly. They started distributing relief goods. On the front of the bag, the governor’s face is printed together with a slogan that encourages people to vote for him. Of course he would not let this kind of opportunity pass. What did Sana even expect?

 

Beside them, whispers start growing. “Where did she get the courage to show up here?” a middle-aged woman whispers to the person beside her. 

 

Sana looks at the direction they’re looking and sees the girl. She could feel her blood boil. Honestly, she rarely gets pissed. She’s always the sunny girl who brings smiles whenever she goes, even Jeongyeon, the most aloof of them all, would agree to this.

 

She tries to ignore the whispers around them. Instead, she looks at Dahyun who’s giving out relief goods herself. The girl smiles as she gives a little girl a bag. When the little girl almost dropped it, Dahyun’s agile enough to help the girl while flashing her what Sana thinks is the most beautiful smile in the world.

 

Unconsciously, she smiles to herself, but it immediately disappears when she hears another remark from the woman beside her. “That girl should be arrested already. She can’t go around spreading amor deliria nervosa!”

 

That triggers something inside Sana. She shrugs, trying to rid the negativity in her body. She her head to the side as she inhales deeply, trying to calm her nerves down. Behind her, Momo massages her shoulders gently. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah,” she answers almost immediately. She doesn’t want to get her friends suspicious or worried. 

 

They’re one of the earliest ones because Jihyo still has to cook lunch for her sisters, and they’re out of food so she’d use the goods. So they’re one of the first people in line. 

 

Sana eyes the girl, just like everyone else, but not with judging looks. When the girl looks around, she sees Sana looking at her. Sana avoids her gaze but catches Dahyun’s. 

 

Then, Dahyun smiles at her. She couldn’t help but to smile back. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, with that girl and Dahyun around. 

 

Dahyun does not need her attention, but she sure as hell likes it when the girl’s attention is on her. Naturally, she likes it when all eyes are on her, but it’s different with Dahyun. When it’s her, it feels like the whole world disappears and it’s just the two of them having their moment.

 

Sana sees someone approaching the girl in the white dress. He has a bag of relief goods with him. The man gives it to her and signals for her to leave. The girl freezes at first, staring at the bag of food. Then, the man tugs her wrist. Sana could see the girl flinch both in pain and surprise.

 

Good thing it was Jeongyeon’s turn already. She pulls back the girl and switches places with her. “Hey!” Jeongyeon protests.

 

“I’m sorry. She’s my friend.” Sana tilts her head to Jeongyeon and smiles at the distributor, a middle-aged woman.

 

“Not after this, I don’t think so!”

 

The woman shoots them a bored look. “Last name?”

 

Sana’s attention was on the girl in the white dress. The man’s explaining something to the other girl. Whatever it is, Sana has no idea what it's about. The woman in front snaps her finger. “Last name?”

 

“Minatozaki,” Sana answers. The woman types on her tablet and nods. She gets a bag and gives it to Sana.

 

The girl in the white dress nods and agrees to leave. She starts walking away.

 

“I need you to sign here—”

 

“Sign it for me,” Sana shoves the bag to Jeongyeon and runs. She follows the girl. She hears her friends calling her, but she ignores them. She needs to talk with the girl. 

 

“Excuse me,” she squeezes her way through the crowd. She sees the girl turn left, then disappears. “Excuse me!” Sana repeats louder as she makes her way through. She kind of has an idea where the girl is going.

 

They used to talk about it before. Sana knew about it because of her, and she’s thankful. She thinks the girl’s gonna use the old gate at the back of the school. They often use it to cut class.

 

Sana clearly remembers talking to the girl about it. They were supposed to cut classes together when they reached high school. Would it be weird to say it was in their bucket list to cut classes together?

 

They even got it planned, but they never got to. Something happened. Something that changed their relationship.

 

Her footsteps echo through the empty hallway. They could’ve studied together here, but the universe had to interject and said no. It robbed them of good memories. It robbed them of opportunities.

 

She could’ve been friends with Momo, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo. Sana thinks to herself. She could feel her breathing getting uneven. She was never a good runner.

 

When Sana turns to the corner of where she thinks the girl went, she holds onto the wall and catches her breath for a moment. It was an old gate no one uses. Rust and signs of corrosion hug its metals. Grass finds its way everywhere; Jihyo once joked that a snake could live there.

 

She looks around and sees no one, but the metal grill at the corner is swinging. It means someone just sneaked out. Sana approaches it and looks. 

 

She could get wounded if she wasn’t careful. Sana knows because Jeongyeon once cut herself with the rusty metal. It’s the reason why Jeongyeon has a scar on her leg, although barely visible. 

 

Her parents scolded her because they cut classes at the time, and they had to bring Jeongyeon to the hospital to get an anti-tetanus shot that caused them money. Nothing is free here, not even healthcare.

 

She grips on the gate and climbs two feet above the ground , trying to see if the girl’s still around the area, but there is no one around at the other side of the gate. She guesses the girl ran as fast as she could.

 

“Sana,” a familiar voice calls. 

 

Sana lands on her . She closes her eyes in pain “Ouch.”

 

“Are you okay?” Dahyun runs to her and helps her stand up.

 

Sana opens one eye and smiles. “Dahyun-ah!” She says in her high-pitched voice and stands straight . Absolutely surprised to see the girl. She flinches when she feels her still aching and tries to hide it. “What are you doing here?”

 

“You left when you got your pack. I wanted to say hi.” Dahyun tucks her hair behind her ear.

 

“I see,” Sana nods. She wipes the dirt off her hand with her pants. Both of them stand in silence. Sana waits for Dahyun to say something, but the other girl remains silent.

 

Sana wonders why Dahyun would follow her all the way here just to say hi. She realizes Dahyun probably ran after her bec the girl isn’t familiar with their school. And the girl is still catching her breath.

 

“Uhm, hi.” Sana waves her hand and chuckles.

 

Dahyun chuckles, too. “Hi.”

 

Something inside Sana sparks when Dahyun’s all giggly. Everything about it, her eyes, her smile, the sound of her laugh, both the light that Dahyun gives and Sana’s energy when she hears Dahyun’s laugh could power an entire power plant, Sana thinks.

 

“You have a band practice at three, right? We’ll be there!”

 

“Really?” The smile on Dahyun’s face gets bigger. “Then what snack should I prepare? Do you want anything? Just tell me.”

 

“Hhmm,” Sana trails. “I’m fine with anything, but can you buy bread for Tzuyu?”

 

“Sure! I’ll wait for you later.” 

 

Sana nods. The other girl plays with the hem of her shirt like a child. Sana panics. She’s the more talkative one, so she feels the pressure to keep the conversation going. Sana’s about to ask her when’s their next gig, but the other girl speaks.

 

“What are you doing here, though?” The girl’s tone is hesitant.

 

Sana thinks of an answer. What’s she doing here? She even left her friends back there. Sana slaps herself mentally. For sure they’d ask a lot of questions when she gets back. She just has to avoid them as best she could.

 

She opens to say something, but nothing comes out. She thinks of lying, but she doesn’t want that. She wants to be honest with Dahyun. What was the real reason she ran all the way here to follow that girl? 

 

“I was hoping to say hi to someone, too.” Sana smiles bitterly. It has been years since they last talked. She misses her like any other friend would.

 

“I see,” Dahyun nods. Silence envelops them once again.

 

“We should get back,” Sana suggests. “You still have to distribute those goods right?”

 

Dahyun nods.

---

Although she has been in Dahyun’s house multiple times, Sana still could not absorb it all. This house is different from the one where Jihyo did her auditions, although that too is owned by Dahyun.

 

This house is overlooking the sea. The neighborhood feels new to them. There are barely any houses around, but Sana could tell all of them were owned by well-off families. Jihyo would’ve gotten lost if Jeongyeon wasn’t there with her. 

 

Apparently, Jeongyeon knows all the nook and crannies of their town. Which Sana finds intriguing because they grew up together and they barely left their neighborhood.

 

When Sana confronted her, Jeongyeon reasoned out she’s a human gps. Sana believes her. Jeongyeon’s the smartest of them, after all.

 

This house is smaller than the one they went to before. It’s like a small beach house, but still bigger than Jeongyeon, Jihyo, Momo, and Sana’s houses combined.

 

It’s bright and refreshing, as any beach house should be. It has two floors which Sana could easily navigate through unlike the house before. 

 

Sana also found out Dahyun stays in the beach house and not in the mansion. The girl says it makes her feel more at peace there. Unlike the mansion where loneliness fills the air.

 

The helper didn’t need to guide them, they easily remembered the way to the band’s practice room. When they enter, Mina and Dahyun are already there.

 

Dahyun stands up when she sees Sana. The girl flashes her a smile and she smiles back. She looks at Mina and smiles too, but the girl rolls her eyes.

 

“Yeah, keep rolling your eyes maybe you’d find a brain back there.” Momo says before jumping on the bean bag directly across to Mina. 

 

“We’re still waiting for Tzuyu. She has a magazine photoshoot. Chaeyoung went with her.” Dahyun interrupts before Mina can answer to save them from another bickering.

 

But Mina won’t back down without a fight. “For your information, I am the top student of my class.” She says casually.

 

“And how many are you in class? 20? 30?” Momo opens a can of soda and takes a sip. “Besides, getting high grades is useless. The passing grade’s seventy five, what would you do with the remaining grade?”

 

“And studying is not for everyone,” Sana adds.

 

She’s on Momo here. If her younger self could see her right now, she’d be disappointed for sure, but life taught Sana there are things more important than grades. And their future is kind of laid out now, there’s nothing they could do.

 

“What did you say you’re gonna take up in college again?”

 

“Not going to college. Only Jeong will. Right, college girl?” Momo tosses them a soda can one by one. Sana manages to catch hers, luckily.

 

Jeongyeon nods. Sana notices she’s unusually quiet whenever they're with Mina. Understandable, really, the first time Sana met Mina, she was scared of her too.

 

“She has decent grades. Not as good as yours but decent enough to get into a state university or something. Jihyo has decent grades, too! We’re not all losers.” Momo says proudly.

 

“I don’t plan on going to college, though. I’d rather work.” Jihyo says before taking a sip of her soda. Sana remembers why Jihyo doesn't want to go to college. 

 

She still has two younger sisters. If she goes to college, that means both her sisters would have to stop studying because they could not afford to send one to college while the two study. They also still have to eat.

 

For Sana and Momo, however, they just don’t find it worth it. It’s too late to fix their grades, too. It’s helpless.

 

“Wait, if you’re not going to college then what do you plan on doing after high school?” Dahyun asks them.

 

“Find decent work,” Momo raises her index finger.

 

“Save up,” Jihyo chimes in.

 

“Hope we’d match with someone wealthy,” Sana adds. It’s what her mother always told her. She doesn’t need to study well. She just had to do good at the evaluation so she’d match with someone decent.

 

Aside from the last part of evaluation, she thinks she did pretty well. She won't complain if she gets paired at least with someone from the middle class. Anyone that's not from their class would do, really.

 

“Please, you’re nearing young-adult and you still have no plan in life?” Mina scoffs.

 

“Oh yeah? Tell you what, we've been having a mid-life crisis since we were twelve.” Momo defends themselves.

 

“I am not a teen. I am not an adult. I am suffering, that’s what I am.” Jihyo says absentmindedly and takes another sip. 

 

“You think like that ‘cause you’re privileged. Who said finding work and getting matched is not a plan?” Sana frowns.

 

Jihyo clicks her tongue and shakes her head. “You pay for Xavier to get you detached from reality?”

 

Before Mina or Dahyun could answer, the door flies open. “Band practice!” Chaeyoung punches the air. She jumps at Momo who’s the closest one and drinks her soda. 

 

“You’re all here!” The girl stands up and gives them a hug one by one. Sana smiles at her. She’s the loudest one. Sometimes, Sana wonders how she could fit all that energy in such a small body.

 

“Woah, our Tzuyu is booked. Being pretty must be tiring.” Sana stands up and offers Tzuyu her chair. 

 

When the taller girl takes a seat, Sana massages her shoulders just like what she does to her mother, Jeongyeon, Jihyo, and Momo when they're stressed. She guesses she’s do it for her new friends, too.

 

“Not really, I’m just fine. I can still function, you see—” a flying pillow meets Momo’s face. It was from Mina.

 

“Oh yeah, Dahyun.” Jihyo says. “We were wondering what's your relationship with Governor Kim?”

 

“Jeongyeon said she's your uncle.” Sana turns to her.

 

“That’s right. How did you know?” Dahyun asks Jeongyeon. 

 

Jeongyeon’s eyes widen. “Intuition.” Mina scoffs at her answer.

 

“I see,” Dahyun nods. “Well, he’s my uncle. Why do you ask?”

 

“We were just surprised to see you at school a while ago,” Momo answers. The girl nods again. 

 

Mina clears . She claps her hand and gets the band to work.

 

‘TWICE’ is their band name. When Sana asks them why, Dahyun tells them they wanted to touch peoples’ hearts twice – once with their eyes and another with their ears. They used to perform in their school only.

 

When they decided to perform outside and widen their audience, their main vocalist had to move to another place because of her family. That’s where Jihyo steps in as the band’s new main vocalist.

 

Mina’s their lead guitarist. Chaeyoung as bassist. Dahyun as keyboardist. Tzuyu as drummer.

 

Of course, they only sing songs from the Library of Approved Music and Movies or LAMM. It’s a list of Music and Movies approved by the government that do not contain any traces of amor deliria nervosa.

 

Before Jihyo, it’s Chaeyoung and Dahyun who used to arrange the band’s version of songs. They like to call themselves “DubChaeng bros”, courtesy of the one and only strawberry princess, Son Chaeyoung.

 

Now, Jihyo helps arrange them too. Jeongyeon, Sana, and Momo pitch in their opinions for their music too. It may not look like it, but they’re musically inclined too.

 

Chaeyoung considers Jeongyeon, Sana, and Momo as part of the band too even though they do not perform. She said TWICE’s music would not be the same without them.

 

After warming up, the band starts with their arrangement of the LAMM-approved Digressions by Lizzy LeBlue. It’s a new song Momo manages to find while she’s at pc number thirteen at the internet cafe near their school. The one they always spend their afternoon at.

 

Sana listens to them perform. She finds it amusing how all of them easily click together. Sana has always been good with socializing, but she finds it magical how her new friends easily accept her.

 

It’s like they’re meant to be friends.Other people would argue it’s impossible. Two different groups of friends from two ends of the class spectrum. Who would’ve thought they would get along so easily?

 

But that’s what scares Sana. She remembers this one thing her friend once told her. People tend to drift away from you faster if they get in your life easily. You tend to lose your connection with them easily, like how easily they entered your life.

 

That’s why Sana’s doing her best to deepen their connection. She can’t lose another friend. She can’t go through that again.

 

But I didn’t lose her. Not yet. Sana convinces herself. 

 

Her mind returns to the present when Momo claps beside her, pitching in praises for everyone except Mina who’s currently looking at her with the usual death glare she’s been giving her since they first met. 

 

Sana sees Momo wince. And she feels for her. One would think they should be used to it by now but no. Just like Jihyo’s loud voice, no one’s getting used to Mina’s death glare.

 

Jeongyeon even compared her glare to Medusa. At first they don't understand, but Jeongyeon explains to them everything that meets Medusa's eyes turn to stone.

 

They all agree. “If it weren't for my pride I would literally turn to stone right there and then.” Momo hugs herself and shivers in fear as she thinks of Mina’s glare. 

 

Sana could tell Momo’s doing her best not to freeze at the moment. She looks at the band and sees Jihyo bowing. Chaeyoung’s laughing while raising her bass guitar. Tzuyu’s smiling while looking at Chaeyoung. She finds it cute how Tzuyu is always looking at Chaeyoung, admiring her. Mina’s still glaring at Momo.

 

Meanwhile, Dahyun’s at the very corner with her electric keyboard. Sana notices she’s looking at her, and their eyes widen at the same time. Sana’s heart skips a beat because she didn’t expect it.

 

When she recovers, she immediately claps for the girl and smiles. She gives her a thumbs up to show how proud she is of her. Although Sana was thinking of other things while they were performing, Sana’s sure she still did well.

 

It’s Dahyun. Everything Dahyun does is the best. Unlike her, Dahyun does not know how to mess things up. She’s the perfect human being. 

 

Whoever said that nothing’s perfect clearly haven’t met their Kim Dahyun. Her Kim Dahyun. Dahyun’s just standing there watching Sana clap for her, and Sana thinks she perfected the art of just standing there, looking pretty.

 

“Yah! Minatozaki I thought I was your friend for eleven years.” Jihyo places a hand over her chest, pretending to be hurt because Sana isn’t cheering for her. All of them laughed, even Mina.

 

Sana rolls her eyes at Jihyo before standing up and giving her the tightest hug she could. Jihyo’s thankful Sana didn’t manage to squeeze the life out of her.

 

Everybody gets off the makeshift platform to rest. Dahyun drags her bean bag on the corner, away from the chaos Chaeyoung and Momo are spreading. When Momo’s just about to drag Sana in, she pushes her away.

 

Sana looks at Dahyun worriedly and approaches her, “Why the long face?”

 

The other girl looks at her and shrugs. She pouts. “I’m not frowning.”

 

“Has anyone ever told you you have the best smile in the world?” Sana sits beside Dahyun and manages to squeeze the both of them in one bean bag. 

 

She stares at their friends. Momo and Chaeyoung are singing with their arms wrapped on each other’s shoulders. Mina’s eating bread, not minding everybody else. Tzuyu’s watching them with a big smile. Jeongyeon’s trying the acoustic guitar while Jihyo’s teaching her. 

 

All their smiles are beautiful, but there's something in Dahyun’s smile that makes Sana feel lighter. She noticed it a few days ago when Dahyun smiled at her while they were performing. 

 

“Really?” Dahyun looks at her, not sure if she should believe the girl. Sana looks her straight in the eyes and nods. 

 

“A while ago,” the korean hesitates at first, “you said being pretty must be tiring. Aren't you exhausted?” She looks at the ground, trying to avoid Sana’s gaze.

 

“Exhausted?” Sana tilts her head. “No, why would I be exhausted? It’s my day off today and— oh.” She realizes what the other girl is trying to say. Sana lets out a chuckle, trying to act cool as her cheeks heat up. Dahyun's cheeks are turning red, too. 

 

When Sana recovers, she leans closer to Dahyun. The aroma of baby powder fills in the small gap between them. “Do you flirt with your friends like this, too?” She whispers in the other girl's ears. Dahyun jumps a bit which makes Sana smile widely. She likes seeing how her actions affect the other girl.

 

Flirt. A dangerous word before the cure. In the past, they used the word flirt to pursue another person. 

 

Today, however, it's used in a lighter context. Like a joke to tease them or used to compliment them and all, but with no motive of pursuing them.

 

“No, just you.” Dahyun whispers back, she tugs Sana’s arm. The space between them doesn't get wider. If anything, they even got closer. “Don't tell them. I’m embarrassed.”

 

“But you weren't embarrassed in front of me?” Sana smirks. Dahyun’s grip on Sana losens, but the other girl places her hand back to her arms and doesn’t let go. “It's okay you can flirt with me all you want.”

 

Sana uses her lips to point at their hands. “Oh, can I hold your hand like this?” 

 

“You didn't need to ask.”

 

“I like your warmth.” Sana’s about to place Dahyun’s hand on her face but Momo interrupts.

 

“They won't even let us in their own little bubble,” she says before throwing a pillow on Sana’s face. “Let go of Dahyun already. They need to practice!”

---

Noise from the crowd fills their ears. When the other band finishes performing, Jihyo's the first one to get on the stage. A few people move and get their phones out to take a picture. Sana could imagine her friend’s smirk as she sets up her acoustic guitar while her back is them.

 

The rest of the band joins her. They're gaining a bit of fame since they started performing. They're currently in ‘Pierre Uno’. 

 

It’s a famous chicken wing place in their town. They also sell alcohol there, but the owner tries his best to keep the place suited for people who are underaged, too.

 

No seats are left empty. On the corner, Sana sees the owner watching the band with a huge smile on his face. 

 

His place has gained more customers since they started playing there. It has always been famous, but some people go there specifically for the band.

 

Jeongyeon and Momo stand quietly beside Sana. They don't have the money to eat and earn their seat there, so they always wait patiently. 

 

They don't mind though. They enjoy their music and watching them enjoy themselves and their passion satisfies them.

 

Dahyun looks at Sana and smiles. She always does this before starting their music. It's also one of the main reasons why Sana likes watching them aside from their music. She gets to steal glances from Dahyun all she wants.

 

Something about the girl enchants her. A force kind of pulls her in and the girl’s charm just… gets her. 

 

Jihyo counts to three before all of them chant the band’s newest introduction proposed by Chaeyoung, “One in a million! Hello, we are TWICE!” The crowd cheers. Chaeyoung raises her fist because her idea’s a success. Mina tries to hide her smile when she looks at Chaeyoung. Dahyun and Tzuyu don't. When the noise dies down a bit, Jihyo introduces the first song.

 

She thanks Jeongyeon, Momo, and Sana for helping them arrange the song. The crowd’s eyes feel hot against them, but it’s because they're not used to it. Some people take their photos before Jihyo steals their attention again.

 

Tzuyu uses her drumsticks to count to three and the first beat drops.

---

“Were we good?!” Jihyo runs and hugs them. She’s reeking of sweat but none of them mind. “Of course we were.”

 

Sana hugs her back. “Of course, the crowd says it all!” 

 

Behind her, the four other girls follow. Sana smiles at Dahyun and gives her a thumbs up. She mouths “You’re amazing” to her. The other girl gives her the warmest smile back and mouths “thank you.”

 

“Me too~” Chaeyoung squeezes herself to the group hug and all of them chuckle. Sana notices Tzuyu standing while watching them, so she pulls her in, too.

 

Mina and Dahyun keep their distance, both of them have their arms crossed. But Dahyun’s watching them with a smile. Meanwhile, Mina maintains a straight, neutral face.

 

“Congratulations!” The owner greets them while clapping his hands. “You always deliver a good performance. Our customers always ask for you!”

 

“Really?” Mina asks.

 

“Yeah, thanks to you we’re always filled during Saturday nights!”

 

“We should be the one thanking you, sir. Thank you for allowing us to perform here.” Mina expresses her gratitude.

 

“It’s nothing.” He waves his hands. “You should eat here tonight! On the house! Take it as my gratitude.”

 

“But what about our friends? Can they eat here, too?” Tzuyu asks innocently. All of them exchange glances.

 

“Of course!” The owner laughs nervously.

 

All of them, except Mina, cheers. Momo and Sana immediately run to the biggest table and look at the menu. 

---

Silence fills the table. The only thing you could hear from them is Jihyo, Momo, and Sana munching on the unlimited chicken wings the owner promised. 

 

Chaeyoung takes another wing, twists the bones, and takes them out. It’s her third plate of wings now. Tzuyu breathes in, trying to keep up with the other girls. She can feel her stomach is close to bursting now, but she can’t just back down.

 

The girls decided to have a competition on who can eat the most plates of chicken wings in one seating, and the loser would have to pay for their dinner for the next gig. Dahyun, Mina, and Jeongyeon did not join. Mina tried to convince Chaeyoung and Tzuyu not to, but Chaeyoung was insistent.

 

Now, it’s as if they ate almost all of the wings the restaurant has in store. Finished plates are stacked one after another with ruined plastic gloves on top of it. Their glasses are smeared with oil and there are pitchers of water for each of them.

 

Sana almost choked on a soft bone and coughs. She reaches for her glass, but it’s empty. Dahyun reaches for the pitcher and pours it for her. “Slow down,” she smiles.

 

“Thank you,” she says before drinking. “Ahh!” the glass clinks loudly against the table. When Sana looks down at her plate, there are no more wings. She’s about to raise her hand for her fourth plate, but Dahyun stops her.

 

“Take mine.”

 

“Are you sure?” Dahyun’s plate looks untouched except for a few bones on the side, and it’s her first plate. It doesn't surprise Sana, though, because she does look like someone who eats like a bird.

 

“Yeah, it’s okay. I’m not hungry.” The other girl takes Sana’s plate and puts her food. She stacks it on the finished ones.

 

Sana whispers “Thank you” to Dahyun and winks. Both of them couldn't help but chuckle.

 

Beside Dahyun, Mina flashes them an amused look. “I should've known food’s the only thing that could keep your mouth shut.” She says to everyone, but only looks at Momo.

 

Momo tries to say something with filled with food. Mina frowns at her. “What?”

 

“I said, I’m sorry we don't always get to eat like this because unlike you, we don't actually have the money.” She rolls her eyes. On the left side of the table sit Jeongyeon, Jihyo, Momo, and Sana. On the right side sit Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, Mina, and Dahyun. 

 

Dahyun, Mina, and Jeongyeon look at each other, then to the owner who’s faking a smile right now. It must’ve been sore eyes for him to see such a strange combination of group. 

 

They’ve always believed birds of the same feathers flock together, so only those who are of upper class only talk to people who belong to their class. 

 

Dahyun, Mina, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu’s families are very-well known, and Mina mentioned something like the owner and her father being business partners or something, so he must’ve been confused as to why they’re hanging out with girls like Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Momo, and Sana— girls that are not from the same class. Dahyun flashes him a sweet smile, then back to exchanging glances with Jeongyeon and Mina.

---

It was no surprise Tzuyu lost their bet a while ago. The girl was already close to vomiting when Sana had her third plate. Mina made Tzuyu promise she would never make a bet with them anymore.

 

Momo pulls the three of them at the back of Pierre Uno’s building for their usual destressing. They don't usually do this, but the past few days have been too much for them. They needed it.

 

There are things you pick up from those people around you, and sometimes it is inevitable. This is one of those things for them.

 

“The chicken would've tasted better with alcohol,” Sana pouts. The three chuckle. Momo lights Jeongyeon’s and Jihyo’s sticks.

Faint light from the other building's backdoor gives them a low visibility from the dark. In front of them is a fence and beyond extends darkness. It’s almost scary if only Sana was not with her friends.

 

“We should've told the owner we’d take it out, huh?” Momo smirks as she lights Sana’s.

 

“Yeah,” she says before taking a puff, “The soju there looked tempting.”

 

“But have you seen the way the owner looked at us? It’s almost as if we’d run away with all his money.” Jihyo chuckles.

 

Jeongyeon shakes her head. “It’s funny, though. He’s the only one judging us in there.”

 

“That's because he’s the only one who knew our background. If the customers knew, we would be thrown out the moment we stepped in.” Momo laughs. Sana finds it confusing how their social class would affect the way people think about their music or about them in general.

 

Smoke is their only companion for tonight aside from themselves. Deep thoughts would usually drown Sana during times like this, but she could only think of Kim Dahyun. The sweetness of her voice. The rhythm that flows from her fingers to the keyboard. The elegance. The poise. She’s drowning in it.

 

Before Sana drifts away with the ocean of her thoughts, Momo opens up a topic. “What do you think of Mina?”

 

“Mina?” Jihyo tilts her head. “I don't know. I think she's cool.”

 

“I think she's pretty.” Sana says.

 

Momo kicks Sana jokingly. “I meant about her personality.”

 

“Oh, I think she's a bit distant and protective of those who are important to her. Have you seen the way she takes care of Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu? She might appear cold outside, but she’s very affectionate in her own way.” 

 

“I think she’s—” Jeongyeon pauses “—privileged.”

 

“Isn’t she?!” Momo says in a high-pitched tone. “I’m not bashing her or anything, but I really think she should fix that bourgeoisie attitude of hers.”

 

“You can’t blame her, though. I mean that’s how she’s raised.” Sana looks at them one by one. “Right? That’s how her parents molded her.”

 

“Yeah, and she’s trying. Come on, Momo. You know how it feels like to be judged just because of your class. Don’t be like this,” Jihyo looks at Momo.

 

The girl raises her hand trying to plead her case, her cigarette in between her middle and index finger. “All I’m saying is—”

 

“She’s a pain in the ,” Jeongyeon interrupts. Jihyo and Sana let out a disapproving gasp.

 

“You’re quite right there, Jeong. But what I was trying to say was even though she knew us already, she expects us to act like one of them even though she knows full well we aren’t.”

 

“Hhmm,” Jeongyeon takes a puff. “I agree with Jihyo. Don’t antagonize her. Give her time.”

 

“I said,” Momo groans. “Nevermind. Forget I said anything. I’m sorry. You’re right.”

 

They lean on the wall and don't bring up a topic again. Sana taps her stick to remove the ashes. She’s almost done with her. All of them are enjoying the tranquility cigarettes provide.

 

“I knew it!” Mina emerges out of nowhere. The four of them mumble curses underneath their breath when she shows up unprompted. The girl should be home by now.

 

Sana’s eyes widen when she sees Dahyun behind the girl. She tries to hide her cigarette but it is too late because the girl is already looking at it.

 

Mina borrows Dahyun’s bag and hits Sana, Momo, then Jihyo. She freezes in front of Jeongyeon, then hits her. Again, again, and again.

 

“Yah!” Jeongyeon holds Mina’s wrist. The girl flinches when ashes fall on it. Jeongyeon immediately frees her from her grip, eyes with regret.

 

The Japanese girl looks at her coldly. “I think you deserve to be hit a thousand times.” She hits her again. “That's nothing compared to what you did to me.”

 

Sana thinks of Mina’s words. Was using gateway drugs so bad Jeongyeon deserved to be hit a thousand times? And why is she hitting Jeongyeon only?

 

Dahyun steps in. She takes her bag from Mina and pulls her away from Jeongyeon. “Calm down, Mina.”

 

The girl closes her eyes and inhales deeply. It was brief, but Sana did not fail to see disappointment in her eyes. Mina looks at them one by one. “I’ll take you home.”

 

Mina starts walking. The five of them, including Dahyun, exchange confused glances. When Mina stops and shoots them a death glare, they follow.

 

“Wait,” Dahyun stops Sana. She lets their friends go first. When they're out of sight, Dahyun asks “Aren't you cold?” She blows on her palms, rubs it together, and holds Sana’s hands to give her warmth.

 

Sana smiles. She wasn't really cold, but she appreciates the gesture. She holds Dahyun’s hands and places it on her face. “This is better.”

 

They smile at each other. Before any of them could say a word, they hear Mina shouting “Where's Dahyun and Sana?”

---

The ride on the way home is… chilling. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu already went home before Mina found them at the back of the building doing their thing. Dahyun was picked up by her driver. They were left with Mina.

 

Mina’s on the shotgun seat looking outside the window. At the back of her van sit Jeongyeon and Jihyo beside each other and Momo and Sana. Except for Jeongyeon, they all exchange worried glances.

 

For some reason, Sana fears Mina more than her own mother right now. Sana reminds herself to breathe from time to time. 

 

The thickness of the air makes her forget about her need for oxygen, and the seatbelt feels too tight around her. Momo squeezes her hand to remind her she’s not alone.

 

The van halts to a stop. Sana squints her eyes through the heavily tinted window and sees Jeongyeon and Jihyo’s block. Quickly, the four of them unbuckles and runs for the door.

 

Mina gets out of the van with them. Jihyo, Momo, and Sana squeeze themselves behind Jeongyeon. The girl looks around the neighborhood, and the usual near curfew scenario greets her. Closed curtains. Empty streets. 

 

Some people, cured ones, peek outside their houses. They’re not used to seeing luxurious vehicles around their neighborhood. Sana figures they will be the star of tomorrow's gossip.

 

“I’m not compelled to befriend you,” Mina starts. All of them nod in agreement. “But since my friends like all of you, it seems I have no choice but to interact.”

 

“We like all of you, too.” Sana peeks behind Jeongyeon’s shoulder and smiles at her. When she sees Mina’s glare, she whimpers and goes back to her place. Momo rubs her back.

 

“I’m not threatening but if any of you hurt my friends, I won't back down.” 

 

Sana gets it. It’s Mina’s overprotective nature. It’s okay, she thinks. Jeongyeon, Jihyo, and Momo could be overprotective too. Sana, too, would do anything to protect them.

 

“Mina, if this is about what we did before, we already said we’re sorry.” Jeongyeon says calmly.

 

That day during Jihyo's audition, the first thing she did to them was apologize. Then, the three follow. They figured all of them must have been confused as to why they did it, so Jihyo explained it to them.

 

It took a moment for the Xavier girls to absorb, but eventually understood. The other three said they forgive them, and they're all cool. Everyone seems to have moved on except Mina.

 

Sana doesn't blame her, though. It's not easy to trust someone who was paid to get revenge on you, so she does not hold it against Mina. It's not like she has the right to, anyway.

 

She wishes Mina would give them another chance to gain her trust and start all over with a blank canvas. They promised they won't do something like that again. Knowing Mina, though, she probably doesn't trust them that's why she's talking to them right now.

 

“I’m sorry. We won't do something like that to all of you again. Pinky promise,” Sana raises her pinky finger. “Besides, we already treat you as friends. We will never hurt any of you intentionally.”

 

“I would've returned the money if only I didn't use it on something else already. We’re really sorry, Mina.” Jihyo says.

 

Mina looks at Momo who's still hiding behind Jeongyeon. She steps into the light while scratching the back of her ear and mumbles something. When Mina asks to repeat what she says, Momo looks her straight in the eye and says “I’m sorry.”

 

Behind the shadows, a figure catches Sana’s attention. It was as swift as a cat, but Sana knows her too well. She squints to confirm her intuition.

 

Mina says something. It does not make sense because she’s far from the figure, but Sana could only hear the figure’s footsteps and heavy breathing. Like she just ran away from something. Trying to blend with the dark.

 

Before she disappears, Sana’s quick to her feet and chases after her. She could hear her friends shout her name. 

 

Her fear for Mina does not stop her. She needs to talk to the girl.

 

When Sana picks up her pace, the other girl does, too. Sana wants to call her but it’s deep into the night and the neighbors must be on their bed already. She didn't want to cause a ruckus.

 

Cold wind slaps her face. She doesn't remove her eyes on the girl.

 

She stops in front of their houses. The girl’s back is still turned to her, but Sana knows someone has been following her. Otherwise, she wouldn't run like it was for her dear life.

 

“Nayeon,” Sana slows down her pace. She puts her hands on her knees and catches her breath.

 

“Sana,” the girl looks at her, eyes wide in surprise.

 

She smiles when she hears her name from the other girl. So she still remembers. That's a relief. She wouldn't know how to feel if Nayeon, the first person she ever considered as a friend, forgot her.

 

Sana stands straight up and absorbs it all. It's really Im Nayeon in front of her. All alive and breathing and in one piece.

 

“It’s been six years,” Sana says.

 

#