Hindsight

The Sound of Heart

Thankfully, Hyojin didn't fail. There was hiccups here and there but the main ideas were clearly expressed and he finished the presentation in rounds of applause from everyone. Including me, with a sigh of relief, of course. Although I had listened to Hyojin's pitch several times, even helped him paraphrase his ideas to enhance its impact, watching him speak to large audience, some of them were even VIPs was definitely a nerve-racking experience.

 

Hyojin dressed formally today with grey suit. He also had his hair dyed back to black. That disappointed me a bit as red-hair Hyojin was always my favorite but perhaps black was a safer choice. He was busy talking to the management team and the VIPs after getting off stage. Meanwhile I just stood near the exit, unconsciously pulled a goofy smile. People passed by me on the way out of the hall, some recognized me but I just half-heartedly returned their greeting with nods, unable to take my attention off Hyojin.

 

“Wheein ah!”

 

I heard Hyojin's familiar voice calling my name. Oh dear, finally he saw me! He excused the guests to walk towards me, surprise clearly written on his face. For I was here so early.

 

“And. . . is that you Taehyungie?”

 

Okay. So it wasn't my early presence that caught his attention. 

 

“Yes it's me. . .” - Taehyung grinned with the first words I actively heard from him the moment I entered the hall - “Hyungnim.”

 

I could feel my mouth went agape. It was not normal at all for Taehyung and Hyojin acted like they knew each other, much less addressing that way. But here they were, doing fist-bump in hip-hop style and sharing big smiles. In my imagination, them two standing side by side looked funny as Hyojin was definitely shorter but behaved like an old man while Taehyung always looked mischievous. However, I had never expected such imagination happened.

 

“Hyojin oppa, you know him?”

 

I nudged him in the arm, asking and reminding Hyojin that he called my name first, not Taehyung's. Hyojin turned to me, burst out an “Ahhh!”, as if he finally remembered calling me first.

 

“Right! I was so careless. Wheein ah. . .” -  Hyojin wasn't addressing me as Whee-pup but that's OK, we were in public then. He pointed to Taehyung, joyfully introduced.. - “This is Taehyung, he taught painting here after you left. And Taehyung ah, this is Wheein, Jung Wheein, my little sister that taught piano I once told you.”

 

My eyes flickered. And I saw my current expression reflected on Taehyung's face as he turned to me, looking totally speechless at Hyojin's introduction. Now he knew why I was here. And I knew why both of us were here. 

 

“Seriously” - A corner of Taehyung's lips curved into a smirk as he sounded in disbelief. - “It's Wheein-ssi that you've been telling me, hyungnim?”

 

Hyojin hummed in confirmation.

 

“And did Taehyung-ssi tell you. . .” - I was the next to follow up - “. . . That he worked for Purple Line? I mean, my company?”

 

Now that Hyojin's irises started to darting between me and Taehyung. Hesitantly, he made a guess.

 

“So you guys are. . .”

 

“Yeah.” - I sighed, rolling my eyes. - “We are colleagues.”

 

“But it looks like Wheein-ssi. . .” - Taehyung added, as smoothly as how we usually did during scripted broadcasting. “. . . doesn't know we are both associated with Pyeonghwa.”

 

“. . . And you.”

 

I concluded with another sigh.

 

And to add even more weirdness to this weird encounter among people associated with Pyeonghwa and Purple Line, I heard another familiar voice approaching. Without a look, I could realize who it belonged to.

 

“Oh my gosh” - Seulgi sounded all exciting as she parted way with some Pyeonghwa volunteers and dashed towards us, wearing the grey polo shirt that was also Pyeonghwa's uniform. - “Wheeinie, Taehyungie? You both have gone public?”

 

***

 

“Okay listen oppa, just so you know, I'm not dating Taehyung.”

 

I glared at Hyojin as I tagged along him for a brief visit to the exhibition.  I excused to Seulgi that I hadn't got the chance to see it to leave the table where Taehyung was ranting about his painting class with her. And going with Hyojin could be an implicit explanation to her question if I and Taehyung was something. Well, except for the part that I had not assured with Seulgi - again, implicitly - that I and Hyojin was nothing more than siblings, either. In case she has something for him.

 

I might do it later today. Better late than never.

 

“Did I ask you to clarify?” - Hyojin laughed as we made our first stop at a coffee stand. - “What I'm about to ask is. . . Why didn't you listen to me?”

 

I shrugged sassily and Hyojin sighed as if he understood. What could he do to me for not listening? I was here anyway.

 

With two hot cocoa, we made our way across the outdoor fair with little stalls of drinks and finger food, then through the airy main corridor where framed pictures were hung along, showing flashbacks of Pyeonghwa's milestones ever since its establishment around 10 years ago. And at the front door to the main hall, I saw myself on the screen, speaking in sign language to instruct visitors about the exhibition layout. Hyojin spoke up next to me as I was. . . well, lured into the professional-looking Jung Wheein with proper makeup and formal black outfit.

 

“You look stunning there, Pup.”

 

“Thanks to Yongsun unnie's make up skills and Seulgi unnie's clothes.” - I replied jokingly.

 

Hyojin just laughed and tilted his head to the inside.

 

“Come on in.”

 

I walked inside, looking closely at each stuff on display while Hyojin silently followed me. Unlike the timeline of milestones, this area was called Moments of Pyeonghwa, showcasing memories in pictures, videos and writings. I had only helped Hyojin with the picture part; therefore, I was totally impressed with the videos that were carefully edited and the heartful written sharing from people at Pyeonghwa about how this place changed their perceptions and even their life. 

 

And as I walked along the video section, I came across a surprise. A real surprise.

 

“Oh .” - I exclaimed with joy and running towards a small screen on the left side of the hall. “Oppa, I thought we couldn't videotape this performance?”

 

“Yes. I thought so, too.” - Hyojin leisurely walked to stand next to me, pulling a proud smile. “But Soyoonie did record for us.”

 

I looked at the video on the screen with a big smile. It might be a little shaky at some points - Perhaps Soyoon couldn't hold back her laughs then - but it still helped me relive the dramatic performance of Frozen medley that I and Hyojin put together on Fairytale Night stage - my last event as a volunteer at Pyeonghwa. Back then, the camera we used for recording ran out of battery at this moment and I thought I would never be able to see this again.

 

“I have to ask her for a copy of this.” - I giggled, turning to Hyojin and copying his words so well. - “You did look stunning there, oppa.”

 

“Right. Thanks.” - Hyojin sighed, looking at himself dressing as Elsa and doing his best to imitate her movements - “Soyoonie has been using this to childishly blackmail me. I gotta expose this so she couldn't use it as her personal asset. . .”

 

“Nah. I won't do so. I'll just use it for. . .” 

 

“. . . entertainment.”

 

“Right!”

 

I cracked up and hit him on the back. Meanwhile, Hyojin just rolled his eyes. He was so used to this kind of teasing from me.

 

“But the thing is. . .” - He said, taking sips of cocoa. A faint yet satisfying smile suddenly appeared on his face as he recalled. - “No matter how embarrassing it is, I have always been motivated by looking at this video.”

 

“Because. . . ” - I didn't hesitate to make a guess - “. . . If you could've even been able to do that, what else couldn't you do. Like that?”

 

“Ddaeng!”

 

My nose wrinkled as I sniffed.

 

“Then why?”

 

“Because it was. . . erm. . . one of the  best moments in my life.”

 

“Really? I recalled you were not comfortable to dress as Elsa at all.”

 

“Yes I was. And would forever be uncomfortable with dressing up.”

 

“That sounds really ironic.”

 

“It doesn't. Because of you.” 

 

Hyojin turned around to face me with a sweet smile. And suddenly I felt warmth on my cheeks. Hyojin had never said such cheesy stuff. Well, he did. But only to the kids. Or his girlfriends, I guessed. However, right at this moment, when there was literally two of us in the large hall, even such small words didn't feel so right at all. 

 

“But wait, noona ah. . . what if. . . he liked you too?”

 

Juyeon's words from last night rang in my ears as I looked into Hyojin's black eyes. Well, that's just an unsupported hypothesis. I must be taking Hyojin's words way too serious. He was just implying that it was fun to do silly stuff with me and that's all, right?

 

“Geez. . .” - I smirked, gathering my internal strength to control the anxiety level which was about to skyrocket. - “. . . I know. . . Who else could agree to do silly stuff with you but me?”

 

And that literally turned him off. His little smile was gone. It was then replaced with an obviously fake laugh that went “Ha! Ha! Ha!” and I could feel the embarrassment building up around us as I couldn't look into his eyes anymore. See? Even a small thing like that could make us absolutely awkward, much less any of us had something romantic towards the other, then move forward, only to end up in getting even more awkwardness. 

 

“Umm. . .” - Hyojin cleared his throat, trying to break the tension. - “Yeah. . . That's. . .um. . . it.”

 

“We've done a lot together.” - I hastily added, as if to justify what I'd just said. - “I also got cheered up recalling those memories with you and everyone.”

 

“Let's do a Fairytale Night again some time.” - Hyojin suggested, fixing his eyes at the half-empty cocoa cup. - “If you can.” 

 

“I'll look into it. You haven't got anything for this New Year party right?”

 

“Um. . . Yeah. . .”

 

And that's how I officially friendzoned Hyojin. Even before confirming whether or not he truly had special feeling towards me. Not that I had no feeling for him. I did, and would always admire him. But at the same time, the risk of no longer having him by my side if things didn't work well outweighed all. Hindsight was just something I couldn't bear. 

 

“Hyojin hyung, Wheein-ssi. . . Are you guys there?”

 

“We've been looking for you two.”

 

It was Seulgi and Taehyung, standing at the threshold startling me. I'd forgot how long we had left them that they had to find us. 

 

“I'm. . .”

 

“Sorry guys. We lost track of time.”

 

Hyojin spoke up before I could finish my sentence. And turning to me, he signaled with a tilt of the head, whispering.

 

“I think that's enough for the tour, eh?”

 

I nodded and followed him out of the hall. That's enough for this little heart, too. 

 

“Are you done with your little rant?”

 

I asked Taehyung as our eyes met. He  shook his head and put hands onto the pockets of his padded coat, remaining silent while Seulgi was the next to speak up. She glanced at Taehyung and smiled.

 

“I've known this kid since we worked at another company but I'd never thought he would be a volunteer here. Ain't it cool, Wheein ah?” - Her gaze shifted to me. I just hoped in between Taehyung's rant, he at least once confirmed with her that we were merely friends. - “That all of us, even Hyojin-ssi are connected together by you?”

 

I felt my lips stretching. I must be smiling then. My left arm reached up to lock with Hyojin's. And my other arm did the same action with Seulgi's. I tugged them together by the arms to their surprise and started walking.

 

“So you gotta be here more often, unnie. This guy. . .” - I shrugged the left shoulder - “Would appreciate that even more.”

 

Because it's time he should find a source of motivation in someone else but me. And Seulgi could handle that role better than I would.

 

Well, at least after she could sort things out with Park Jimin. 

 

And hopefully things wouldn't get more complicated for her to do that sorting out. 

 

As we were about to exit the corridor, Taehyung's phone rang - the Hall Of Fame ringtone, he picked it up, only to say “yes” with a voice that didn't sound as energetic as he was. And moments later, our way was blocked with a familiar figure. Quite familiar to me as I had seen him sometimes in the office, to Taehyung as well for they played for the company football team but for Seulgi, that person used to be her habit. 

 

That's why her steps came to a rushing halt.

 

“Ji. . . Jimin ah.”, her voice trembled. For surprise and for uneasiness.

 

And my head turned around to shot a glare at Taehyung. He was still holding his phone, posing a suspicious look. Then I knew I had got into some kinds of bias as I mouthed to him. “You called him?” with a frown of the brows. 

 

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youdajiji
Damn, writing this chapter brought back so many memories of commuting to work, both by bus and trains. The social distancing period has been way too long for me. And yeah, I hope you like this chapter.

Comments

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Ardya1815 #1
Chapter 16: Wow and wow, I really enjoy ur story and I will patiently waiting for your update.
Thank you so much and I hope you will finish this story
Happy new year
Stay healthy and happy
chocmint417 #2
Chapter 11: this is so beautifully written! thank you so much for the update:)
p_ha_ine
#3
Chapter 2: wheetae fics are already scarce (especially the good ones ) so that makes you a rare unicorn dear writer! The lack of quotation marks in dialogues almost put me off this story but once I see pass through it is a refreshing trope!
Kimsoul_36
#4
Chapter 3: De verdad me est gustando, esperemos la interacción de amor/ rechazo de este par..gracias por actualizar no hay muchas historias Wheetae