The man whose fingertips echoed the Moon's cries entered his small comfortable apartment as the sun welcomed sleeping dreamers into a pleasant wake - he had yet to be met by The Sandman, it was always like this these days. A petite dog wiggled and yipped at his presence - a familiar greeting for his strange end of days. Consistency was needed but he was tired, oh so tired. The exhaustion of the return of the lover who slipped through his finger tips fell silently upon his shoulders - weighing him down as he remembered their gentle touch. He had just given up hope, it seemed like they would never return to him and he was tired of feeling foolish every waking hour. How many times did he mistake a stranger for that lost lover? Too many times. How long had it been since someone had held his shoulders with such gentleness - it made his shoulders ache for their touch once again. It felt like a curse - is this return a continuation of the curse or something new. A tingle of excitement mixed with a death defying fear of abandonment entered his body…would he let the fear consume him this time? He thought to himself ‘how to calm these racing thoughts?’ and then the familiarity of comfort found its way back into his nervous systems via lighting a lavender scented candle - a candle that he had carefully been lighting for these past few months, scared of its end since it was a gift from them. The smell reminded him of the love that once was and could still be. He lay awake in his dark room, sleep was not coming to him so he rolled over and began to write down lyrics - a frequent hobby for those sleepless nights but tonight his hands were not listening to his mind. He itched to be next to them and he no longer wanted to be jealous of the cockroaches. He remembers that day too well the day that it all ended. 

(Three years ago…) He was returning home from another long tour and the weight of his unavailability to his lover was a growing pain. He wasn't sure how much longer he could do this for, was music worth the abandonment towards the ones he loved the most. These thoughts echoed throughout the entire time he was returning home, change was in the air and he was afraid. He returned home but there was something different - the loving embrace was the same, the kiss was the same but underneath something was wrong. They both knew that they were going to be separated- call it intuition. They never explained why this was happening but only that it was for the best. He ached - his fears came true. He was once again a burden. He accepted this fate, the fate of being with only himself for the rest of time. He has entered his blue period and it was here to stay. 

JongHyun awoke - he must have dozed off while reminding himself of the past. They explained the reasons why the past happened - was this enough for him? Could he forgive and forget? Could he take the dive once again? There were so many questions plaguing his inner world. But there was something growing inside him slowly — he couldn’t quite understand it yet but there was something. A ring from his phone distracted his mind for only a moment. It was a message from them - the old lover. 

“I hope sleep found you. If there is ever a time where your shoulders can’t rest - call me. I’ll listen.”

He read the message over and over again. Flowers were once again blooming and spring had finally come to him.