Several months have passed since that unforgettable South Korea trip. On my first day back in the Philippines, I felt like I came back from a dream to my reality. I'll forever remember that experience.

"Wah! I don't want to study anymore!" I complained when I couldn't balance my worksheet. Right, I'm currently taking BS Accountancy at Heritage College. "I feel like I should just become an idol, instead," I continued jokingly while stretching my arms. 

"Ya! Speaking of being an idol, there's an ongoing global audition for X Produce 99! Don't you want to audition?" my friend, Reina, suddenly suggested. That X Produce 99 is a famous survival show in South Korea. I'm a big fan of their survival shows, but I can't imagine myself being part of one. 

I laughed at her suggestion. "Ya! I was just kidding! Why would I audition for that? I don't want to embarrass myself."

"Why? You're great at singing and dancing! I've seen you do both, and I think that you have what it takes to be an idol. You also have a good ear for music," she explained, and I just chuckled, then shook my head. 

I always joke to them that I want to be an idol but I didn't think about it seriously since I don't think I am well-suited for it. I think that I lack the skills and talents for it. And in fact, I'm really shy in front of the camera.

"Yes! It's now balanced!" I said in relief after hours of working on my worksheet. 

"How? How did you do it? Let me copy it!" my friends surrounded me immediately after I said that I finished it so I just let them look at my worksheet.

I got my Samsung phone and scrolled through my phone while I'm resting. I scrolled my Twitter to check some EXO updates but there's not much so I just put my phone down to get my Oppo phone to check for a text message. Yes, I have two phones. 

"I don't get how you got that Samsung phone. You said it's brand new from your South Korea but I feel like it's already used. Are you sure you didn't get scammed there?" Reina asked after seeing my phone. When she first saw my phone after I came back from Korea, she immediately scanned it and saw some bumps in the corner.

"Ya! How can you ridicule my phone like that? It's new!" I lied. 

To be honest, this is really what happened...

*Flashback*

We're already packing up to go home to the Philippines. I'm the first one who finished packing so I went out first to take a picture of our accommodation as a remembrance. 

While I'm taking a picture I heard someone, "Psst!" around me so I looked around but I saw no one so I just continued to take a picture but I heard it again. 

I was about to go inside when I heard that someone said, "It's me, Chanyeol." I immediately turned around and scanned thoroughly my surroundings and there at the corner I saw a tall stature wearing all-black clothes with a black cap and a black mask, waving at me. I immediately scanned the surroundings if any people is walking and thankfully, there's no one, so I ran towards him.

"What are you doing here?" I said panicking and still looking around in case someone sees us. 

He pulled me and arrived in front of a  Mercedes-Benz G65. He opened the door for me and said, "Go in. I have something to say." 

I watched him go around after closing my door. Even with his mask on, I can imagine his deep dimples because of his eye smile. 

"I have something to give to you," he started while rummaging at the back of his car. 

"What is it? I told you, it's fine. You don't have to give anything to me to compensate me. I told you I understand," I explained then he gave me a paper bag. "What's this?" I asked.

"Open it," he replied so I opened it like what he said. The first thing I saw is an album.

Oh my god. No way! 

As soon as I opened it my eyes went big when I saw that it was a signed album! All the members' signs are there and it seems like a newly signed album because the ink is still fresh and it can still be smudged. 

"Heol! Daebak! Daebak! Omo!" I exclaimed which made him chuckle. 

"Did you like it?" he asked and I immediately nodded my head repeatedly and he chuckled again, "That's a relief then. Open the other gift too." he continued when I didn't rummage the other thing inside the paper bag because I was busy appreciating the signed album. 

"What? Is there more?" I asked while hugging my album then I opened the paper bag again and saw a box of phone inside. 

Don't tell me there are photocards inside this? Heol! I'd probably faint! I quickly opened it and my mouth just opened wide. 

"What? Is it a real phone?" I looked at him and he nodded. "Why? I have my phone. I just didn't have a Korean sim card that's why I didn't bring my phone yesterday but it's functioning well. I told you I don't need anything. Though with this signed album, I realized I need it," I commented and he laughed again. "But this phone, you don't need to give me one. This must be expensive. It's the latest model after all," I continued.

"I knew you'd say that. But don't worry, I used that phone a few times already. I was thinking if I should buy you a new one but I thought you might feel a burden so I just gave you my used one. Don't worry, I formatted that first before giving it to you so it's almost as good as new. I also put my number and Do Yun hyung's number there so in case you return here in Korea and you get lost again, just call any one of us." he explained to me, "Actually, no. Call me whenever you're here in Korea. I'd love to hear from you." he continued.

I'm really shocked. He didn't have to do this. Why is he being so kind to me? He's making it harder for me to let go of this South Korea experience.

"Ah. It's your used phone? I prefer a brand new one though," I joked but he took it seriously and responded with, "Ah. Right. Sorry. Is there any nearby phone store here? I'll just buy you a new one then. Sorry." Then he was looking around and was about to go out and buy one but I stopped him and laughed.

"I was just kidding! You don't have to buy me a new one. This is more than enough. Actually, no. Even with just the album, it's more than enough. You're making me feel sorry because I don't have anything to give you, though." I said, feeling sorry. I'm his fan and shouldn't I be the one giving him fan gifts? 

He responded with, "It's fine. You don't have to give me anything.  Just promise me you'll visit here again."

"Of course! I'll save up more so I'll be able to go to your fan sign next time and give you my gifts," I responded. "I think I need to go already. They might think I got lost again," I continued trying to say goodbye to him. 

"Oh. Right. You still have a flight to catch," I don't know if I was just assuming but it sounded that he's disappointed that I need to go already. 

Nah. I'm probably just imagining things. 

"Yes. So uhm...I'm gonna go now. I guess see you on your official schedules?" I said, thinking that I won't be able to see him again in person like this. I'll only see him on his official schedules like fan signs or concerts.

"Hmm. Yeah. I guess," he nodded. 

I opened the door after waving him goodbye and saying thank you for his gifts when he added, "Thank you for believing in me. Have a safe trip."

That was the last thing he said before I shut the door. 

*End of Flashback* 

And that's the story behind my new phone. Of course, I can't tell others the story about it so I lied about buying it from South Korea. My mom and sister aren't aware of it too since I usually don't use it at home. That's also the reason why I didn't put any sim card in it. 

If you're asking about the signed album, well I told my mom and sister that I bought it somewhere, and thankfully, they didn't ask anymore. 

"Ya! Are you sure you don't want to audition in that survival show?" Reina asked again and I said no. "It's their last day tomorrow for the global audition. It's your last chance to send your entry," she reminded. 

"Yeah. Whatever. I'll think about it," I said just to stop her from talking. 

---

Wah! Finally, I'm home! It was such a tiring day! I think I already have a stiff neck because of how many hours I spent fixing that worksheet. 

I took a rest for a few minutes and washed up then continued to study again for hours. 

It's almost dinner time so I closed my laptop already then laid down at my bed while waiting for them to call me for dinner. While watching a few YouTube videos of EXO, I stumble upon a video about the sasaeng fans of D.O. 

I got curious so I watched it. In the video, it says that D.O. was cheerful and energetic during their rookie days but because of those sasaeng fans, he became a more reserved person. He has been the subject of numerous incidents of harassment, including a stranger clinging to him while he was walking. One of the most viral videos of him being harassed by these sasaeng fans is when he caught a sasaeng taking a video in his hotel room corridor and he quickly ran out of their sight when he saw them.

Another incident is that there was a sasaeng who got inside the EXO's dormitory and stole a pair of D.O.'s boxers and tried to sell them online for 100,000 won. He's not only the one who experiences these kinds of incidents involving sasaeng fans. Other members and groups experience it too. 

After that video, I searched more about EXO's sasaeng fans articles and videos. In one of their interviews, D.O. said that because of the growing number of sasaeng fans he started to feel victimized to the point that his feelings toward the regular fans changed whenever he sees them. He was always displeased with strangers but it has worsened because of these sasaeng fans. 

It broke my heart knowing the story behind his reserved personality. I've always wished he could be more talkative and cheerful because I find him funny and interesting. But now that I know the story about it, makes me want to befriend him and comfort him. I also want to tell him that not all fans are like that. 

"Ya! Kaja meokja (let's go, eat)!" my sister said after suddenly opening my door, "Mwoya? Wae ureo? (What happened? Why are you crying?)" she asked when she saw me wiping my tears. 

"Aniya. Geunyang. (Nothing. No reason.)" I answered and went outside with her. 

Yes, my sister and I sometimes talk in Korean at home to practice our Korean skills. 

After washing the dishes, I came back to my room and cried all night long because of how broken I am for the idols.

I just thought that they must be so lonely behind all the fans cheering for them. How lonely they must have been because of all the pressure they receive from their fans and other people. Then some are even invading their privacy. And at the end of the day, they will all go home alone in their dark house without any food served at their dinner tables. 

And because of those thoughts, 

I made an impulsive decision.