Jiwon glanced at his phone. Nothing.

Okay. It’s fine. He glanced at the numbers on the top of his lock screen. 11:55. Five minutes to the end of the day. At this point he was unsure whether he wanted his phone to light up in notification or not. He had spent the entire day just staring at his phone and checking it every ten seconds like he was some sort of an insane person. Every time his phone lit up in notification, he found himself shaking with equal fear and excitement, only for it to be a text from someone else. No, but why did everyone seem to contact him today, of all time? Couldn’t they just leave him alone for today?

11:56. Still nothing. He drummed his fingers nervously on his thigh. He was really going out of his mind. He needed something else to help him not lose it. Distraction. He needed some distraction. He began by opening a web portal of the most recent news. He scrolled the list of news articles, some sports news, some bombastic headlines about politics that made him roll his eyes, some weird rumors about the other idols that made him raise his eyebrows. Throughout all this, Jiwon kept glancing to the top part of the screen in case the notification panel would pop out, but none did. When he had scrolled to his heart's content, he stared back at the clock at the top left corner of the screen.

11:58. Only two minutes had passed.

Jiwon wanted to yell, scream, and throw his phone. But alas, he could not. He had to wait and keep his phone intact.

He stared at the wall, at the ceiling until he was bored. Then he began pacing around his room. From the corner of the room, he could see his beloved Pomeranian dog Lucy, staring at him.

“Oh come on, Lucy-ya, don't look at me like that.”

The dog only tilted her head at him in response.

He glanced at his phone.

11:59.

He sighed loudly. Lucy perked up at the noise and gave him a confused look.

“I'm going insane.” He crouched down next to the dog. “Lucy-ya, your dad is going insane.”

“What should I do?” he said as a he ran his hand through Lucy's soft white fur.

The dog purred, snuggling closer to him. It reminded him of another situation, with a brown cat called Dadoong instead, whose owner was looking at the two of them with a sweet smile.

At this point, he had no hope of finding anything that could distract him from this. For all he knew, the skies could have fallen down, extraterrestrial beings could have come to Earth in their flying saucers, the dead could have risen from their graves and he would have not noticed it. Because he was just there, sitting in his room, staring at his phone, waiting for her to call.

After some more excruciating moments, his phone finally rang. But instead of the sound of a notification, it was the sound of the alarm he had set for himself earlier in the morning lest he fell asleep or something at 12:00 AM. The alarm rang so loudly that Lucy jumped in surprise and started barking to the phone. Jiwon had set it on maximum sound and picked the most annoying sound he could find, a high-pitched, beeping noise, that would drive him insane and was now actually driving his poor dog insane. He had chosen it because just in case his body decided to betray him and make him fall asleep, the alarm could still wake him up, just in time for him to open his phone and see the questions he had been waiting the entire day for.

Jiwon opened his phone, turned off the alarm , and stared at his blank notification screen.

12:00. The date had increased by one and it was now saying Monday instead of Sunday. He felt that the large texts at the centre of the screen were screaming at him, mocking him.

He closed his eyes and let his shoulder droop down in defeat, but maybe he should wait for a little while. She might have just started to text him at 12:00 so he would receive it a bit later, right?

So he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And he glanced at the clock on his phone lock screen again.

12:01.

Jiwon sighed, putting down his phone. Maybe he should give up.

Why was he so invested in this anyway? She was delirious. She was drowsy on medicine. Maybe she had hallucinated him as someone else. Maybe she wasn’t thinking straight. She didn’t mean what she said.

Jiwon still had the moments of that night playing in the back of his mind. He remembered her smile to him, as she said he would be a good father. But it hit a little closer to home for him. He had to bite back his tears at that moment. Maybe she wasn’t thinking much as she said it, but it had meant so much to him.

He still remembered the smell of her vanilla shampoo when she was in his arms, the feel of her warm hand, holding to his tightly as she fell asleep. This must be a dream, she had said and maybe she was right. The whole thing felt like a dream too good to be true.

“Ask me tomorrow,” he had said, thinking that they would have tomorrow. But it was gone in the morning, like a mist, like a lost dream.

Foolish, he told himself. Why did he even begin to hope in the first place?

But the way she had said it, “I like you as a man.” If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear her voice at that time, her grip on his jacket. She sounded sure, she sounded serious, she sounded sincere. And so he told her to ask him tomorrow at that time, which was today a minute ago, and yesterday now. If she had asked him, he would have given her the truth. But she didn't, and now he was staring at the ceiling of his bedroom with a crushing feeling in his chest he had not felt in a while.

And he had been a fool. A massive fool who was going to hand her the VIP ticket of his upcoming solo concert. Perhaps even invite her to come up on stage with him and sing a song or two, because he knew the wistful look in her face whenever she talked about 2NE1 and performing on-stage all too well. He knew that for her, the stage was never the same as it was when there were the four of them on it. The stage, which used to be so exciting and full of bright memories, was now terrifying, a claustrophobic space that seemed all too big and empty when he glanced around to see no one beside him. But artists were artists, performers were performers, and she must have missed the feeling of standing on it, the sight of the crowd with their lightsticks and balloons, the roar of their chants as they sang and groove to the music. He had wanted to give her a chance to experience a small taste of it again. He thought that she would shine so brightly on stage, and it would make her smile, perhaps.

He thought that this thing between them, whatever it was, had been something, that for a small fleeting moment, she had been within his grasp. But as quickly as that, she was gone, slipping through his fingers, and that something had become nothing again.

After Dara recovered from the flu that rendered her in bed for the next three days, Dara texted Jinwoo, asking him when he was free so that they could grab that dinner together.

Dara was a bit surprised at how quickly Jinwoo replied to her messages. He also agreed to her proposed timing readily, saying that he would shift his schedule around to meet her. Dara wasn't sure but she thought that there might be something up going with him.

When the time for the dinner came, Dara watched as Jinwoo practically skipped to her table from the restaurant entrance like a very excited three-year-old running to the playground. He sat down in his chair in front of her and greeted her with, “Noona! So what is it that you want to talk about?”

Dara blinked at him in surprise, glancing at the unopened menu book in front of him. “Maybe we should order some food first?”

“Right,” Jinwoo agreed. He opened the menu book in the middle randomly, took one look at the open page and pointed at the topmost menu item. “I'm getting this one. What about you, Noona?”

“You're not… reading the whole menu?”

Jinwoo just shrugged, “This spaghetti seems fine enough.”

“Well, give me a while.” Dara said, slowly turning over the pages and looking at the food. Jinwoo wasn't a picky eater by any means but he usually took some time to choose his food. What was up with him today?

Even after she had ordered her food, Jinwoo kept looking at her meaningfully, like he was a small child at Chuseok waiting for the money envelope from his aunt, and trying hard to hide how much he wanted that money. Dara couldn't bear it anymore and decided to just be direct with him.

“Jinwoo-ya,” she asked him directly, “What's wrong?”

To his credit, he looked a bit bashful at being caught. “Well, I was just wondering whether anything happened with,” he paused, voice dropping to a whisper, “y'know.”

Dara didn't know. “Who?”

“Noona!” Jinwoo whined. “Don't play dumb! Hyung didn't tell me much either, I'm dying of curiosity here!”

Either Jinwoo was playing a prank on her, or he knew something that she didn’t, and expected her to know it as well. But who could this Jinwoo’s hyung be? Why was Jinwoo expecting something to happen with him? From the way Jinwoo phrased his question, it seemed to imply something romantic, but Dara didn’t think that there was any male in Jinwoo’s circle that she was becoming particularly close with.

Maybe there was someone who was trying to make a move on her but she didn’t realize it? Dara was usually quick enough to realize when somebody was showing interest in her, but maybe this one had slipped out of her radar. It was a plausible scenario, considering how Dara barely had time to think about anything else other than wide smiles, bunny teeth, and ‘let’s not talk about it’ said with pleading eyes.

Dara paused, collecting her thoughts. She was still drawing blanks, except for the one man with whom she was sure absolutely nothing was going on.

“No, really.” She said. “Who are you talking about?”

Jinwoo rolled his eyes. “Noona! Just spill it to me! I knew from Hyung already! I was the one who gave him your address anyway.”

“My address?”

“Yeah. On the day Hyung went to your apartment. With the takeaway food.”

Dara frowned and searched her memory. The last person who came to her apartment with food was her manager and before that - Dara paused, the smell of jjampong in her memory. But that was a dream, wasn't it?

“Was it jjampong?” she asked.

Jinwoo’s eyes lit with triumph. “Of course! Noona, please don't tell me that Hyung just returned home after giving you the jjampong. If so, I'm gonna give him a smack!”

If Jinwoo knew about it, then it wasn't a dream. Then she didn't conjure up Jiwon in her imagination. Then Jiwon did come to her apartment, and gave her food, and fed her cats, and held her and -

Dara paused, staring down at her hands. “Jinwoo-ya,” she stuttered, “I held his hand.”

And pulled him to her bedside.

She felt her face begin to burn.

“What?” Jinwoo responded. “Noona, I didn't catch that. What did you say?”

“Nothing.” Dara replied quickly. Her mind was whirring, re-examining every single memory she had about Jiwon’s visit to her place. They were all jumbled up in her mind and she tried hard to piece them all together.

He first arrived in her house with the takeaway jjampong. And then he prepared it for her. He fed her cats while she ate her jjampong. Her memories were a bit fuzzy at this point but she remembered being sad, angry, and frustrated. She said something, and the next thing she recalled was the smell of sandalwood in the air, two strong arms enveloping her, and the gentle whisper of “I'm sorry,” in her ear. Something tickled at the back of her mind, Jiwon's voice, saying 'Ask me tomorrow'. She remembered waking up the morning with that on her mind. But she couldn't figure out what she was supposed to ask. The two of them had talked some more, but the conversation was still unclear in her mind. After that, he told her to go to sleep, steered her to her bedroom. At which point she grabbed his hand in hers and asked him to stay with her, at her bedside, in her bedroom.

Dara buried her face in her hand and let out a muffled scream. What the heck was she doing? What had gotten into her? Her mother had raised her as a decent woman, and she would have a heart attack if she had found out Dara had pulled Jiwon to her bedside. He wasn't her boyfriend. (Her weak, stubborn heart lurched at the thought of it: her boyfriend. Traitor.) They weren't that close, even. She should have known better. Surely now he would have been even more uncomfortable being around her.

“Noona?” Jinwoo’s voice broke her out of her reverie. “Why were you yelling?”

For a second, Dara had completely forgotten that Jinwoo was sitting right in front of her, in a restaurant, where several other patrons have also turned to look at her.

“What's wrong?” Jinwoo asked, looking at her worriedly.

“Everything!” Dara answered. Whatever small chance she had with Jiwon must have been totally ruined now.

Jinwoo raised his eyebrow. “Doesn't sound like it from the way Hyung talked about it.”

“How did he talk about it?” The question escaped Dara’s mouth quicker than she could stop it.

“I texted Hyung at about midnight. He only said that you ate the food, drank some medicine, and then went to sleep.” Jinwoo grinned in triumph, “But I knew better! Ha! I knew that something must have happened!”

Jinwoo’s hunch had been right. Something had happened. She had been at her most vulnerable, and other, sleazier men could have easily taken advantage of her, but Jiwon didn't. Some of her exes would have bragged about the way she clinged to him that day, but Jiwon didn't breathe a single word about it. even to Jinwoo who was one of her closest friend. Instead, he told Jinwoo only the normal parts, and did not mention anything about the other parts, the parts where she had behaved in a less than decent way. He had protected her, choosing to keep quiet about it, even to herself.

“Noona,” Jinwoo said. He had leaned forward, almost shaking with excitement, “So what happened?”

Dara blinked. She considered the question for a moment, and thought of Jiwon's hand clasped tight in hers as she fell asleep. She had thought it was a dream, because how could it be real? But in that small stolen moment in the fabric of space and time, her dream had been reality, and it felt too big, too precious, to share it with someone else. It belonged to the two of them, this piece of exquisite marble they had carved out from reality.

Dara answered, “Oppa was really kind, but nothing happened.”

Jinwoo sighed deeply, deflating back to his seat. “Well, something should've,” he muttered.

Jinwoo didn't bring it up again for the rest of dinner, and they continued to eat together and discuss other topics instead. After that, Dara returned home ans sat down at her bed, staring at the space in front of her right nightstand, where Jiwon had stood on that night, feeling the ghost of his fingers intertwined with hers. It wasn't a dream, her brain kept repeating to herself, it was real.

Dara had all but given up on the idea that something could have happened between her and Jiwon after his cold reaction to her confession, after he barely looked at her during an entire day of filming and let's not talk about it. But now, there was a chance that it could, truly, become reality.

Hwangbo Eonni’s voice range in her ears. ”Shoot your shot. Even if it misses.”

Dara took a deep breath, and opened her phone. She typed to the search bar ‘’Eun Jiwon solo concert.

Next chapter: Jiwon’s solo concert. That's it. That's the chapter.