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Pilsook's POV

I cover my mouth that hang open upon hearing that tragic story. Well we've been watching the lesson that was shown in the other class and I believe Mr. Gong is really a good story teller.

"Sam soon!" Song Sam dong mumble beside me.

"Then I wake up and realize this was all a dream", he ended the narration.

Gawd! I felt relieve. I put down my hand from my mouth and a smile form on my lips.

"That was great!" Mr. Kang remark then he turn to me. "Pil suk, you really can act. You’re really fast in immersing yourself in your emotions."

"Kamsahbnida", I said smiling shyly. I was actually half way acting, since I got into the story. But it felt nice to be praise for the first time. I wonder what happen to Jason during their lesson.

The professor then turned to Hyemi asking her why she wasn’t acting. All attention turns to her as she gave her reply.

“I did”, she told him with a blank expression making the professor shook his head.

Our lesson was cut off when director Shi enters the room reminding us that we weren’t allowed in the studious. I thought we had nowhere else to go when Jin-gook suggested a place. He leads us to a small basement.

“People come in the day, but nobody comes here in the night because it's too cold”, he said as he lead us inside.

“It's really cold” I said hugging myself to felt a little bit of warm as chills are creeping inside my uniform. No wonder people don't come here at night, they’ll freeze if they slept here.

“Wow, it's really good”, Song Sam Dong remarks. We all turn to him surprise.

“Hey, if we clean up a bit, this place will be 100 times better than that dance room. Right?” he said.

“Well, not 100 times. But we have to live with it”, Suzy said as her eyes roamed the place.

 It wasn’t really that bad since now we already had a place where we can practice. We started cleaning it up so we can have more space. We started to do our job picking up stuff. I was about to get rid of the box from the side when I saw my reflection in the mirror.

"oh, did I lose some weights", I said as I pinch my checks, it seems to grow thinner.

kekeke, it really look different. Aigoo, I should concentrate in cleaning. I puff my checks as I carried the box outside, secretly smiling to myself.

 I started sweeping the pile of dirt gather in the place, everyone busy with their own work. With a few more wiping, sweeping and mapping we were almost finish. I took my snack and start nibbling when the teacher calls our attention.

"If we place a keyboard here, it'll be perfect, right?" Mr. Kang said as he stood on the little flat form.

"What we need more than a keyboard is a performing arts teacher". Jin-gook stated. "We can't continue taking lesson by recording other teachers' lessons"

I nodded since he stated a fact we really need a teacher.

Our real hurdle still remains; we still need vocal teacher not stolen phone cams of Mr. Gong’s lesson. Will we be able to do this? Teachers from Kirin aren’t allowed to help us since I can sense that the new director really hates us.

"Can't we bring a performing art teacher here?" I look up at Samdong as I chew my yummy bread. I think he had no idea about the hate I was sensing.

"Hey, didn't you see the principal earlier?" I asked him and he look back at me."If the teachers are caught coming here, it'll be the end of them", I explain as I motion my finger slicing the neck.

“Would no one be interested?" he asked again sounding a little bit hopeful.

"There is one person", Mr. Kang said and we all turn to him.

Who could that person be? I bet all the teachers are informed to not meddle in our business. They definitely want us out. I took one big bite and once again started to chew.

"That's good enough, let's bring him here", Samdong said.

"But I don't think it'll be that simple", Mr. Kand said doubtfull.

Did he just let our hopes high?

"Why?" Hyemi asked standing up from her seat.

"He hates me much more than how much you hate me"

And so the lesson ended with Mr. Kang promising us that he’ll try his best to bring the said professor. I was about to head my way home when they insisted on walking me to the bus stop, since it was already late. That was sure very nice of them. They all see me off before heading their way home and I felt really happy. I was use in going home alone, no friends to hang with and no one to wave goodbye and take care that Samdong did, he was sure really nice and has a refreshing personality. He was the nicest among the three.

I was tired yet in a happy mood as I was walking my way home. I wasn’t that far enough from home when I see a familiar figure leaning on the post just beside our shop.

“Jonghyun-shii?” I called as I started to walk toward his direction. He tilt his head toward my direction a smile plaster his face as he meet me halfway.

“Pilsook”, he greeted.

“Omoo, it was really you. What are you doing here?” I asked surprise.

“You came late?” he said as he looks around the dark surroundings. The sun has already set and it was almost past dinner.

“Neh, school work”, I told him smiling back.

“So prep class isn’t really bad after all”, he chuckle as she picks up my good mood.

“Yeah, it was fun. They were not mean to me like the others and I think I already make friends”, I giggle shyly while fidgeting my fingers.

“That’s good”, he patted my head.

“So why are you here?” I once again asked.

“You said you cannot attend the lesson in the afternoon that’s why I’m here”

I send him a message about me not attending the lesson due to some matter. And the real reason is the sudden change of my class schedule. I need to stay in school the whole day.

“Mianhae, I guess I can no longer attend your lesson during school days. I’m going to be busy due to the assessment”

“I understand, let’s just move it during weekend. Will that be alright?”

“Neh, thank you”, I said as I started to rub my hands together due to wind that swiftly blow on us making me shiver.

“Oh, I’m sorry for keeping you out. You must go inside it’s really freezing here”, he said as he assisted me to the door then he step back.

“Do you want to go inside for a cup of coffee?” I asked shyly since he has been waiting outside for awhile now so I also guess he was freezing.

“Ani, I also need to go. I just drop by to check on you”, he chuckle scratching the back of his neck. “You go in now and rest”

“Oh, ok”, I nodded though I waited for him to go first but it seems he was also waiting for me.

“Go, I leave once I make sure your inside”, he smiles and so I gave him another nod and went in. I immediately peek on the window beside the door to see if he already went his way. He waved at me from outside before he headed off and I waved back shyly.

I wonder why he bothered himself to come here just to check on me. He could have called instead.

“Pilsook is that you?” mom called from inside.

“Neh!” I answer back as I took off my footwear.

“Your dinner is ready, ppali” and so I run my way toward her.

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The next day…

I was early in school to get my lollipop on his locker, as usual. I never missed a day; I hope he won’t get a cavity or diabetics because of me. I softly chuckle at myself thinking about those stuff as I went straight to our classroom and I find it empty. Our classes have been move to the afternoon so I got a lot of time in hand during morning. That's why I decided to roam around the campus.

I can never send you away

How can I ever send you away?

I stop on my tracks as I heard a very familiar voice singing, Jason. He was sitting on the stairs where I had sat when I was hiding from Jo In Sung when he as calling for the owner of the quilt / my school uniform. He was sitting at the same spot, head phones on and he was singing his heart out.

If you go

If you want to leave,

Fix my heart,

So it no longer aches.

At least let me live.

If that’s not possible,

I won’t have a reason to live anyway.

I can’t let you go, even if I die.

 

My eyes starts to swell as tears escape it. I wipe it with the back of my hand as I felt the emotion he was giving in his song. The pain of letting someone go, it was clearly heard in his voice.

“No wonder he is the jjang in this school. He is good in conveying emotion”, someone mumbles from behind me. I turn around to see Samdong smiling at me then his expression change as his mouth turn into a big ‘o’.

“Oh, he even makes you cry”, he pointed at my stain checks.

“ani”, I pouted as I once again wipe it off.

“Is there someone in there?” I heard Jason asked.

“Kaja”, I immediately pulled Samdong with me in panic that we’ll get caught.

I hold onto the wall trying to catch my breath as we reach our classroom after running like a mad man in the campus.

“Why do we have to run? He is your friend right?” he asked curiously.

Because we’re going to get caught I mean I’m going to get caught crying because of him. That will be embarrassing, I haven’t confessed yet.

I chuckle awkwardly not knowing how to explain. He shook his head as he leans on the wall still out of breath.

“What are you doing here? Our classes will be held later, right?” I then asked.

“Oh, that. I was thinking of looking for a song piece in the library. They said they got a lot of song there and a player too. How about you, have you chosen a song?”

“Me?” a smile crept on my lips as I think about it. “Neh, I think I already decided what song to sing”

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Later that day, I met Song Sam Dong and Jin-gook on our way to the basement. I smile at them in greetings as we all walked in. We were all surprise to see the English teacher, Mr. Jin Man in our now newly clean basement. He was organizing a keyboard on the flat form as soon as he was finish he called us up. We all turn to him; he gave me the manual and started teaching us about the keyboard as I started reading.

"Wow", Song Sam Dong said amaze as it was explain that he can connect it to a computer and started composing. He immediately went his way to touch the keyboard and begun pressing the keys.

"Do you know chords?" Mr. Jin man asked surprise.

"What are chords?" he asked with a wide smile in his face and once again started pressing the keyboard.

"Look, that was c/a minor", the professor said pointing it out.

"I just pressed it because it sounds pretty when you press that", he said innocently.

"No, you pressed C then you press A minor", the professor said getting his hands on the keyboard and started teaching him. I watch them amaze. How can he not know chords when he was actually producing a very nice music with it? I think he really got a special talent within him.

The professor then talked about what he called a money chord where in we can play variety of songs from it and he started playing. The English teacher was really good that I was nodding with the beat and he started singing. We were in all smiles and all of a sudden he stops and told us that he already had to go.

"Goodbye", we all chorus as we were busy familiarizing with the hi-tech keyboard.

"This is cool", I exclaim.

Song Sam dong started playing the chords and started singing the song Prof. Jin Man sang earlier. How can he memorize it that fast.

“Do you know what comes next?” he then asked Jin-gook and I chuckle, he was sure a funny guy.

We started practicing our piece with the accompaniment of the keyboard. I was assigned to it since I already know how to use it. When it was my turn I sang ‘ I can’t let you go, even if I die’ by 2am remembering  Jason from earlier.

“Oh, that was—“, Song Sam dong look at me accusingly.

“Is there something wrong?”  Mr. Kang asked.

“ani, I think I just heard that song from someone earlier”, he once again look at me and I fix my glasses blushing.

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The next afternoon…

 

“We, too should act without the melody", Mr. Kang suggested. "Miss Shi was saying that will improve your song conveyance"

I nodded understanding what he is or Miss Shi is trying to imply.

"How long are you going to copy other teachers' lesson", Prof. Jin man appeared from behind. We all turn ahead to look at him surprise with his sudden appearance. I thought he doesn’t want to get involve.

"Jin man! What brings you here at this hour?" he looks at him with wide eyes. "You...", he pointed at him and then started to walk toward him. Our heads followed the two adults as they meet on the side.

"You, did you decide to...."

"Don't smile like that", he said sounding a little bit irritated.

Mr. Kang tries to fight back his smile that was already plastered on his face.

"It's only until the end of the month assessment", he inform him.

He nodded still smiling. So he succeed in bringing an art teacher, this is great. Prof. Jin Man then turns to us.

"Hey, you guys, please don't go around telling people that I come here, ok?"

I smile at him as finally were going to have a real art teacher to help us in our battle to get back to the art class.

"Yah", Mr. Kang cut him off. "Who do you think you are? General Yi Soon Shin?" he said with a chuckle.

He was saying something like 'the battle is at its height; do not announce my death..' and that is something that Mr. Jin Man didn’t seem to like as his eyes turn into slits as he look at his co-professor. Oh oh I think he still hates him. Upon seeing those eyes Prof Kang try to zip his mouth.

"We'll never do that", he then said.

Upon being satisfied in Mr. Kang silence he begins.

"So what we're talking about is", he walks in front to begin the real lesson.

"When we're singing, just because you can make the sound 'Aahhhhhh' well, doesn't mean you can sing well", we all focus on him. “The most important thing is conveyance. Have you guys heard of a singer called Yoo Jae Ha? Do you know why he's a legend? When he sings, it sounds like he's talking to you. Today’s topic is singing as if your talking'

'Singing as if your talking’ I repeated inside my head and Jason instantly pop out.

He started singing one of Yoo Jae Ha song. The first one was very different when he sang it for the second time around. The second one was more beautiful and touching than the other.

And so we began with the acting. Song Sam Dong was first. He was good and fast learner as expected. Jin-gook was also good even though he was hesitant at first.

"Pilsook your turn"

"Neh", I answer and step in front. I breathe in and out try to calm myself before proceeding.

I started to imagine him walking away, getting further away for me to reach. My eye starts to sting as I started my voice almost croak as my chest started to became heavy.

"If you're going to go, If you're going to leave, repair my heart", and that's it the tears escape my eyes and started to roll down on my checks, my hand reaching out for someone while my other hand was curled on my boy doll.

"Hyemi"

We all look worried as Hyemi's turn came though she look confident as always.

"I, I have a dream. I believe in that dream", She deliberate it like a robot and I can see Mr. Jin Man isn't satisfied.

Jinman seongsaengnim urges her to draw out more emotion. To let her emotion pours out. I gulp a lump on my throat as I look at Hyemi waiting, and she begun taking us all in surprise. She just repeated her monotone dialogue more loudly making it sound like a whiny robot. She was once again asked to try again but nothing change except the volume of her voice.

"There is no dream, none!" Mr. Jin man burst out loosing patience and I was stiffen on my sit as his voice roar inside the basement.

"What's the problem", she asked unaware of what she did.

"All, everything", he was annoyed.

Mr. Kang then advice him to go outside and cool off as he started too lost temper telling how worse Hyemi was. I heard a loud bang before the door closes.

Hye-mi doesn’t even understand what’s wrong, nor does she know why she’d failed the audition. Mr. Oh-hyuk asks her what the “useless dream” in the song ‘goose dream’, and she runs through the lyrics trying to remember.

"Pilsook ah", he then turns to me and I look at him surprise. "You tell me. What’s the useless dream?"

"Yes?" I answered and Hyemi stops. "Here, it said the useless dream is a poison"

"You see. You’ve been singing this song without even knowing the song. Your voice is greater than anyone else here. However, you’re feeling is only 1/10 of theirs", he explained.

I bit my lips agreeing. She sure got the best vocals but she was hiding all emotion and feelings inside her. She doesn’t want to show it or maybe she doesn’t know how.

"At this rate, you can't win at the end of the month assessment", she looks down as it sinks into her.

Once again they all walked me to the bus stop and I’m going to start to melt with Hyemi staring at me. I wonder what’s going on her mind.

“Samdong, is she always like that”, I softly whisper. He turns to look at hyemi then back at me shaking his head.

“I wish she was like that to me”, he said blushing.

“you really are funny”, I chuckle as I tap his shoulders. “I got to go, see you guys tomorrow”

The following day…

 

I sit my boy doll by the window and started playing my guitar in the classroom. I am singing my piece the one I'll be using in the assessment. I look outside the window pouting as the lyrics really touch me.

"You really don't sing better than me", I look back as Hyemi appeared on the door way walking towards me. I didn't know I got an audience. I fix up my glasses as she cross her arms on her chest.

"But... I do understand that your song has the ‘feeling’", she emphasizes the last word.

I look up at her "what are you talking about?"

"You...What do you think about when you sing? What do you do to make that face and that 'feeling'?”

A small smile curve on my lips, should I share my secret. I never had a girlfriend before to share this stuff with. I wonder how that feels.

"It's simple", the smile widen. "You have to be in love"

"In love? Are you in love?"

"Uhmm", I nodded as I suddenly felt giddy thinking about it.

"You?" she doesn’t seem to believe what I had just blurted out.

"With who?" she then asked.

Now my checks are burning I look down trying to hide it. I felt it with my hand and it was sure warm. I think this girl hasn’t been in love so I was thinking maybe if I could share or gave her idea on what I'm feeling she might understand and produce some new emotions different from the brave and robotic singing girl that we encounter last night. I’ll take her on my newly found habit.

We stand behind the little post of the practice room watching Jason as he started to play the piano and I wouldn't deny that his piano skills has improve. It has been awhile since I play for him and I think he won’t need me anymore.

"Jason? Your going out with Jason?" her voice telling me that she didn't believe it.

"Well, we're not going out yet", I told her dreamily as I watched him from a far. "We're just getting to know each other", I said feeling shy but the smile was still on my face.

"Unbelievable", she stated as she went back hiding.

"It sounds unbelievable, but that's true. That candy on the piano, I gave it to him", I said shyly. I never really tell anyone about that.

"Is that your proof?" I look at her and shook my hand and sway my fingers. "There’s more to it"

I hold my boy doll higher as I begun to tell her my so called proof. "He...whenever I pass, he holds the door and waits for me. He smiles then 'hi'" I imitate how Jason said those two letter words and giggle as I imagine those scene his beautiful smile and his simple actions.

"He greets me like that as well"

"And my ultimate proof...", I look back at Jason as he started to sing.

"That song"

"What about the song?" Hyemi asked still not getting what I’m trying to say.

"The lyrics", I turn around again to face her. "He's saying it to me"

"Which part of the lyrics?"

"He's saying he can never send me away. He's asking how he can send me away. That… he's saying that because I was demoted to the college prep class”

"I think I understand what that 'feeling’ is"

"You do", I think I finally let her understand."What is feeling?" I then asked to make sure.

She look at me with a serious face "Feeling is...", she leans closer to me and I lean away "misunderstanding", And she walked away living me dumbfounded.

' feeling is a misunderstanding?'

Did I perhaps misunderstand everything? I look at Jason who was still lost in his song.

‘Is it really a misunderstanding?’

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