Review for gamefishie // Reviewed by: AutumnsConcierto

Title and Story link:  

Turning Page (Ongoing, reviewed with 19 chapters)

Title: (17/20)

The title isn't original because there are so many other fanfics with the same title, but I think it accurately envelops how the story has been carried out thus far. Plus, it's inspired by a song of the same name anyways. (Random, but I think the song matches the story as well.) 

Overall Appearance: (4.5/5)

I absolutely adore the appearance of the fanfic. The poster is blurred and somewhat "harsh," setting up a nice tone as a look into what the story is about. The background isn't as impressive as the poster, but it is still nice.

Description and Foreword: (20/20)

If I had found this fanfic on my own time and not by having been assigned to review this, the description would have definitely pulled me in. It's short and concise, leaving room for mystery and curiousity. I really love the first sentence the most.

The foreword is very neat and the gifs are adorable (although they kind of aren't supposed to be...) The quotes from Sehun and Daesom describe their characters in a sentence, and they do not stray from how they are presented in the story.

Plot: (26/30)

The plot is simple - yet not simple. I don't know if I'm describing this correctly, but the little twists and reveals induced a lot of "Ohhh!" moments for me. The set up of certain scenarios makes things look deceiving until they are actually revealed. For example, I initially thought that Sae Hee was the dead lover of Sehun, I never would have thought Daeseom was hopelessly in love with her brother rather than Kris, etc. I really love that the secrets are hard to guess.

There are so many ties that each of the characters have. Luhan's family and Sehun's family, Daeseom with her family story, etc. Sometimes, it makes things a little confusing because there's so much to remember. There's everything in this story, the cold guy, the hopeless one-sided love, the illicit love for a non-blood related sibling, cheating, illness, the list goes on and on. It can make things a bit overwhelming while I'm reading, and I have to reread certain things in order to get the information right.

Originality: (17.5/20)

The story isn't very original if I had to think about it. There are so many somewhat cliche elements the story is built upon. But yet, you manage to truly make the writing your own. So many things in the plot were unpredictable, so it made the story all the more enjoyable. 

Language: (20/20)

Is it just me? Or could I not spot any major mistakes in your writing? Really, the chapters are pretty much flawless, no errors. There may be a couple, but it would be time consuming to go back and search for mistakes since they weren't blatantly obvious. I remember one error, that's it. I don't even remember what chapter it was, that's how clean the story is. Keep it up!

Writing Style: (19/20)

I don't know if you're doing this on purpose, but your writing style seems to adapt to the feelings of the characters with every chapter and event. For example, in the first chapter, the way you wrote your sentences was boring and a bit choppy, following Sehun's boring and calm life. As time went on, it seemed as if things happening around the story grew more and more descriptive when Sehun opened up to the world more. Sentences became longer and flowed better. If that is the purpose, very clever and intelligent of you. If not... it's still all good. :)

Love the wide range of vocabulary you use, very impressive! 

Characterization: (26/30)

From the beginning of the first chapter to chapter 19, there is so much evidence to Sehun's lovely growth. It was somewhat painfully slow, but he managed to break out of his shell and he has been open and forward. He went from a person of "I don't care" to "I love you". His characterization was paced out perfectly from my point of view. I do have questions though. Did he close himself off from the world initially because he was scared of feeling pain again? How did his friends Jongin and Chanyeol help him? Reliving a bit of his past would have been preferable rather than just having him plainly state his past.

As for Daesom, I'm a little reluctant to say that she's fully reached her potential. Sure, she came into the picture and changed Sehun's life for the better, but she herself hasn't seemed to grow much as an individual. Daesom's complex and albeit confusing at the same time. I still don't understand completely as to why she chose Sehun out of the thousands of other sad people you see moping on the street. Sehun during his period of sadness may have mirrored her, but still, there are other people out there with the same problems. Also, I understand she needs Sehun, they both need each other in fact. But, she's being a bit selfish having clinged onto Sehun and expecting him to not develop feelings for her. No matter what, Daesom's a spicy character and a strong female lead.

Daehyun's feelings are still very mysterious to me, so I'll be keeping an eye out on his character and his whole ordeal between him, his fiancee, and his sister.

Flow: (27/30)

Overall, the story's flow is consistant and smooth. However, I feel as if some of the revelations are being dragged out a bit too much. Even after one secret or piece of past if revealed, another new question pops out of nowhere.

Reader's Scope/ Overall Enjoyment (5/5)

I'm excited to see how the story will end. Gahhh!! Very enjoyable indeed. ^^

Bonus (+5)

Final Score/ Total (187/200) = 93.5%

A/N:

Is my love for this story not obvious? I'm going to stay subscribed and continue reading until the end! :D

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