Saesang
Letters To A SasaengMy stomach is fluttering and my heart is pounding as I stand in front of the door. This isn't stage fright, though. The concert ended long ago. This is a fear that I shouldn't need to have- a fear of my fans.
What awaits me outside of this door? There are thousands of fans to whom I am greatful to, but are there some I should be fearful of? I love my fans, but who are these people called "sasaengs" who are only out to hurt us? Do you understand how much damage you do?
That member you just called fat?
They're suffering from bulemia because of your comments.
That member you gave the laced drink?
They injured themself because of your foolishness.
I want to love all of my fans to the best of my ability. I'd be nowhere without them. So why do I fear my fans? I don't want to see my group mate bent over the toilet as their bile rises. I don't want them to think that your words are true. I don't want my friends to suffer through pain. Your words, your actions- they all hurt.
There are so many questions I want to ask you. Why do you do what you do? What led you to think that this is okay? Can you ever find it in your heart to put yourself in our shoes?
You hurt my friends; you enrage my fans. I don't know what to do. It's beyond me how I can solve this. I just want to see the best in my fans. I want to be able to accept their gifts without worrying if I may get sick from them. I want to be able to walk around comfortably without fear of being attacked. I want to be able to protect my fellow members from hurtful words.
Wherever you are, I want my words to reach you. I want you to hear my cries. I want you to hear all of our cries. Most fans don't know that many K-pop idols suffer from depression. Your words only deepen those wounds of a dark place no one wants to be in. Your actions make us fear doing what we love most. For what? What do you get out of this?
Please.
I want to know.
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