After I waved goodbye to Youngjae I raced into my house. It was so embarrassing, I was acting kind of girly.. I sprinted up stairs to go shower and scrub off the icky feeling. After my shower I felt so refreshed I headed to my bedroom and jumped onto my bed letting myself sink into the soft blankets filled with a nice cherry blossom scent, artificial scent..since I doubt real cherry blossoms smell like this. My mind started to drift off
*Flashback*
"Oppa annyong!" "Oh Wonhi! What are you up to?" "I was just heading to the art room to turn in my project" "Oh really? Ah, I gotta go to rehearsals I'll talk to you later" I waved to Taemin as he ran off to the theatre. I've had the biggest crush on him since middle school. 4 years later and I'm now a freshman and luckily was put into the same class as him, even though he's two years my sunbae. I finally mustered the courage to start talking to him a while back. I wonder what he thinks of me. "Wonhi!!"
Bora screams into my ear as she pounces on my back, people would never know that this girl is three years older than me about to graduate High School and go to college. "Eonni, do you always have to do this? What if I fall from you jumping on me" "You don't need to worry about that, you'll just kiss the ground for a bit. hehe" I shake her off my back and she falls flat on her "Eonni You're skipping gym, go back to your class" I helped her up and brushed the dirt off of her sweat pants "Well I saw you while I was jogging so I came to say hello~ and I saw you with Taemin ouuu .Ya know he said he thinks you're cute? He said he has interest in you too." My eyes rounded like saucers nearly popping out "Really!? he really said that!?" "Do you think I'd lie to you, I over heard him talking to his friends about you when I was in line getting lunch at the cafeteria earlier" "We started talking more but.. maybe I should ask him out? like on a friendly date?" "Yeh! I know you guys have been flirting back and forth for a while now. Why not right?" The following week I haven't seen Taemin around besides in class. So when I got home today I decided to call him. After a couple of rings he picked up his phone "Hey Wonhi, whats up?" "Oppa, wanna go ice skating with me and my friends this weekend? You can bring your friends too" "Oh.. I don't think I can.." "Why? You don't know how to ice skate? I can tea-" "Wonhi I have a girlfriend now" I was utterly shocked, I felt so suffocated when those words came in contact with my ears "Oh really? You can bring your girlfriend too. Haha its not like I was asking you out on a date or anything, we're just all going on an outing as friends." "I don't think my girlfriend would like that. I gotta go talk to you some other time. Bye" *click eh.. eh.. eh..*
I've never felt so hurt before.. It was like I lost all energy in my body my arm dropped sending my phone crashing to the floor. I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them. I cryed and cryed until there were no tears left. I never knew how painful it could be, to get your heart broken in such a way, by such little words. I cried myself to sleep, I've never felt so disappointed.
Next day at school I looked identical to the new species of cross breed between a porcupine and panda, is there such an animal? Of course because here it is in the flesh. I stood up straight and try to appear brighter. I thought that even though I can't be with Taemin like that we could still be friends, because for it to end in such a way leaves such a bitter taste. I saw him as I entered the gates of the school and tryed to wave at him but he just walked past me as if I was invisible. That day after school Bora took me to a cafe to cheer me up with sweets. After eating Bora rushed off because she had a schedule since she recently just debuted. She gave me a peck on the cheek before leaving. I was walking down the street on my way home looking at the ground and at every step I took. Asking myself if each step made a difference. I looked up and kept walking when I saw Taemin.. and his Girlfriend walking arm in arm past me. I stopped for a second then I continued walking. After that, I knew I was done. I knew that I just wanted to live pefully. I changed. Months later I was back to my old self, but a bit more tomboyish. I fel the need to keep a wall up. I didn't want to feel weak anymore. I didn't want to be a wimpy girl anymore. So I changed.
*End of Flash Back*
*RWHEHROAOR* I put one hand on my stomach "I know.. I forgot to feed you"
I Jumped off my bed and raced to the Kitchen. I couldn't find any food.. forgot to go grocery shopping ..sh*t . I settled with rice and dried seaweed.
"Ah~ this isn't filling at all.." I finished up the rice and washed the dishes.. Since Youngjae is my neighbor I wonder if he has food.. No No No.. its embarrassing enough with him helping me twice today. I looked at the calender on my desk.
"It's going to be a new month tomorrow.." I let out a sigh and went to bed early, really early. At 12am it woke me up. That excruciating burning feeling on the inside of my wrist.
"Ahhh!! " I squeezed my wrist hoping the pain would seize. The pain vanished and I let go of my wrist. Hovering it above me. "The numbers are starting to disappear"
Since I was little at exactly 12am on my birthday this burning sensation would occur and the shape of a roman clock would appear on the inside of my wrist. No one else saw it except me. My parents said that I was just imagining things and told me to stop saying stuff like that before people thought I was crazy. When I turned 17 and at the end of a month / the beginning of a new month at 12am I would be woken by the burning sensation and the numbers started to disappear one by one. Now on the clock there was 4-12 left. I tried consulting all sorts of holy people, from monks to priest and fortune tellers, even shamans. They all said I should consult a therapist about this.. I'm not crazy, It's there! But..I'm the only one that can see it I held my wrist close to me and fell asleep.
The next morning I walked to school like every other day. It was starting to get to the windy season. So my school uniform was not windy friendly . I entered the school gates and was walking to the main building where my class was. I looked around and everybody was in their cliques and groupies. I sighed a bit when I saw my friends, they didn't hate me for not talking to them anymore. They just understood that I wanted to be alone. It'd probably be different if Bora still went here, too bad she graduated my freshman year. I entered my classroom and sat at my desk, we recently got to change seats and me being the loner I am sat at the 2nd to last seat next to the windows. Not so I could romantically space out at the window like every chic flick of a beautiful girl. It was so I can get more fresh air. I never liked being restricted from my fresh air, plus its hard to breathe when all the other kids take up all of my oxygen from talking too much.
I blankly stared at my journal then started scribbling in it. I am very fond of ..notebooks - oh how I hate saying notebook now thanks to that horrible chic flick of a movie. Seriously that movie made me discover that I sincerely hate chic flicks..they're so boring. Well I was pulled away from my concentration of doodling when someone hugged me from the back. I gasped and kind of jumped in my seat. "Hi Wonhi~ What are you doing~" That voice.. that snickering voice that just whispered in my ear with his hot breathe eww gross. I turned slightly to see the smiling face of Youngjae.. Yoo Youngjae.. What!? "W-What are you doing here" Finally letting me go and standing up straight and spreading his arms in a manner like magicians do when they pull that poor claustrophobic rabbit out of the hat, or when they chop off some ones limbs without killing them. Anyways I scanned his uniform and it was our uniforms for celebrity students.
(Lets just say celebs can wear mutplie different flashy uniforms)
I looked at him questioningly "You're a celebrity?" His mouth dropped instantly leaving his jaw hang for a couple of minutes "Are you serious? You really didn't know me? Yoo Youngjae.. from B.A.P?" "Oh I know them I have a couple of their songs! Who was it .. there was Bang Yongguk right?" Youngjae face palmed so hard his face turned red
"Yeh, he's our leader" I felt kind of bad not recognizing him, but you can't blame me.. I never look into the groups I just listen to their songs..
"Um what are you doing in my class room? Class is going to start already haha. Don't tell me you're my neighbor now you have class with me too?" Youngjae sat at the seat behind me and nodded. My eyes bulged
"Seriously!?" I said a bit too loud. I said in a more hushed tone "Don't tell me you sit there too.." Youngjae nodded. Then I felt a ppang of idiocy hit me. Youngjae whispered to me "I was just kidding, I sit over there" He points at a seat in the middle near the front "I didn't even know you went to this school.. Where has my brain been all this time?" Youngjae's astonished face was priceless then he wiped it away with "Every where else lovely " he snickered at his own remark he continued "Well I use to sit there I told the guy to switch with me this morning" I said turning to face him
"Why would you-" Youngjae's face was inches away from mines and I froze with my face slightly flushed with his face being so close to mines. He whispered in a low tone
"Why do YOU think I did?" snapping out of the trance he had me in I turned back around
"Doesn't matter, beats me!" I started doodling like there was no tomorrow and breaking the tip of my beautiful wooden pencil in the process.
"Ugggh!" I threw my hands up in a fit and left the classroom. Youngjae laughed to himself and chased after me. As I was storming down the hallway to god knows where Youngjae walked beside me. "Wonhi, where are you going? Class is about to start." "To the infirmary" "Why ? Are you hurt?" "Yeh, my head" "Whats wrong with it?" "Its being stupid" "Haha that's not something the infirmary can fix" I stopped and glared at him then kept walking "Wonhi~ I was just kidding~ stop walking so fast, Its like you're running away from me or something. Yah! Wonhi!" I felt really weird so I just ignored him when all of a sudden I was in the air. Youngjae had picked me up and tossed me on his shoulder like a sack of rice. What the.. I'm not even light.. I way a lot more than a sack of rice. "What are you doing!?" "Taking you to the infirmary since you're hurt" "Yah are you mocking me?" "No. Since your head is being stupid I thought I'd carry you so you don't hurt yourself"
Youngjae smiled to himself, so did you. This guy..really getting on my nerves. That's what your stupid head said but your smile said something else.
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