*

[please note that the lyrics have been reorganized/rearranged/edited to make it fit the plot/idea of the fic, 
don't refer here for legit lyrics.]

It's just like that, nothing changed at all
In my heart it's always you, again you, simply you
I'm simply sad for some reason, I faded away completely
Everything is still same, but my heart was stolen

It's you even if you're not here, it's you wherever I go
By my side it's always you, again you, simply you

Pushing and trying to escape is no use 
My eyes are looking at you again 
I blame you for controlling my heart 
I'm about to cry

I'm alone again, I shouldn't feel like this
Being alone all my feelings are meaningless
If it's not you, I can't go anywhere, my heart~

Once again my heart went to you tonight

*

"You're back. I suppose you've killed that fool and bring back his head?...which, I can't see by the way. Unless you're not that determined to save your sister."

I sighed, not really anticipating this confrontation yet knowing full well this was coming anyway. What choice do I have? Minwoo ssi and Jooyeon ssi refused to let me see Jisook and told me to just concentrate on the Devil. They were right on deciding that though, even if I meet Jisook ssi and beg for her forgiveness, she would still flare up and has every right to, in fact, the least she could do in response to what I did to her and Hyungjun ssi is probably to kill me, rightly so. Not only I ruined my own family, now I'm ruining other people's family and lives. Where else do I belong than with the Devil?

"You're not answering, Hyunrin ssi. Killing that idiot couldn't be that hard could it? I thought I gave you some power to make it easier."

His voice was devoid of any emotion that I couldn't even guess whether he really didn't know or if he simply pretended not to know. What does it matter whichever is the answer anyway?

I went to him and took a seat, not too near to make me lose whatever remaining bits of strength left, but not too far to cower in front of him. The truth is, I have no more strength to pretend to be weak, but I'm too weak to act strong too. That's just what I am. I can never be some cool hero like Jooyeon ssi, or Minwoo ssi. I couldn't even protect the people I love to the extent that Jisook ssi went to. I'm just me, too stupid and unable to prove my love, unable to protect them. But why. I didn't even know what went wrong to lead to where I stand right now. Or maybe I do know. Maybe my love just wasn't enough.

Maybe that's just my fate.

"Have you gone mute now?"

"You killed him, didn't you?"

"Killed who?"

"Hyungjun ssi."

"I told you to kill him, didn't I? Why should I do it?"

"Because you know I was lying."

"Oh...really? I thought something as pure hearted as you would never do such a despicable thing...though that only means you're finally stepping down from your high horse and learning to be human."

"Romeo ssi...did you really kill Hyungjun ssi already?"

"Why should I answer that?"

"I need to know. I just need to. Have you killed him?"

"What will you do if I say I have?"

"Then..." I didn't even know why I asked what I asked. Belatedly now I realize how stupid my question was. He's right. As always. What can I do, whether or not he's alive? I just wanted to know because my guilt towards Jisook ssi and Hyungjun ssi is killing me. There's really nothing I could do. I just want to make myself feel better. Maybe I'm just selfish that way.

"...I don't know." He would know I'm lying but it's not like it'd affect him in any way.

"I didn't kill him. He's useless, why would I go through the petty task of killing him?"

I nodded, suddenly feeling as if a small weight lifted from the burdens piling inside my darkened soul.

"Thank you." I stood up and smiled.

"You're welcome. Wow...that was easy." He pretended to be surprised, but for some reason, he sounded flat out annoyed and unimpressed. He didn't even try to hide it.

"Even if it's obvious you'd be lying, hearing that made me feel relieved. There's really no reason for you to lie about such thing, since it's not like I could do anything about it, yet it's considerate of you to do it, since it end up making me feel better. That gives me hope - the thing I thought I've lost entirely in a fight against a supposedly ruthless devil. Come to think of it, you're not as evil as you claimed. You even gave me some power despite knowing I was trying to trick you earlier and I could use it against you. It only proves that in everyone and everything, kindness exist. And that made me happy. Hearing that Hyungjun ssi is alright. I guess, that's enough for now." I turned and left, not wanting to hear or see any of his reactions that would surely disagree with what I said and just...trying to annoy me or anything of the likes. The same old merry go round.

Surprisingly it was only when I reached the stairs that he called out.

"For someone who's not even able to do a simple task to save her own siblings, you sure are being so caring about other people, aren't you?"

I couldn't tell how his voice sounded when he dished out the hurtful truth, but he's telling nothing but the truth afterall. 

"Whoever he is, he is still a person, a human being. Nobody's life is any less important than the other."

I waited for a comeback in return, yet there's only silence that somehow, encouraged me to continue.

"Anyway, hearing your concern of my siblings right now...made me think that...maybe...it's not even you who killed Hyesung oppa and Eunji unnie. Accidents happen. You're...not that bad."

I didn't feel good about what I just said, but at the same time, I didn't want to doubt my own words, even if I find it hard to be entirely invested in them either, I feel that if I couldn't change his mind about how he's going to go about it, I'd have to change my own way of thinking and looking at things, I haven't try this, so...maybe it would work. Maybe...he...isn't that bad?

I'm still confused but since I couldn't take back my words, I just need to have more faith in them. In my own self. In what I feel I've learnt from Jooyeon ssi and her story of Maeng in our brief meeting. It's unsettling, but there couldn't be any harm in trying. Even without doing so, things wouldn't be better anyway.

Maybe I was so confused that I didn't even realized I had knocked on Hyuna unnie's room and was even more flustered when she opened the door and only stared at me, the hard gaze didn't take long to dissolved into concern.

"Are you alright, Hyeonrin? What's wrong with you?"

"I...I'm surprised...I thought you're not at home."

"And yet, you knocked on my door." She sneered.

"I