A year later, he graduated from high school. I couldn't believe that he would leave this school world and begin a new world outside. I felt like I couldn't accept it. I made up my decision to give him a gift. Well, the gift wasn’t expensive enough but I believed that he would like it.

“Hyekyu-ah, I want to give Sunggyu oppa this.” I took out a green box from my bag and put it on the table.

“Whoa~ you’re serious?” she asked while looking at me. I nodded my head and curved a smile. She clasped her hands together.

“I can’t believe it!” she squealed.

“Yah, yah, it’s not you who will see him. Why you are so excited?”

“I just can’t believe it!” she hugged me tightly that I could feel that I would die soon. I laughed.

“Please tell me how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Give this present to him.” Hyekyu scratched her head.

“Just give it in front of him where no one sees you. It would be okay.” he patted my back to regain my confidence. I really loved when someone patted my back. I nodded, showing that I agreed to give the present face to face.

I walked to him. Butterflies were flying inside my stomach. I knew that I shouldn’t do this but my heart kept forcing me. I bumped into him, making him startled.

“OMG, I’m sorry!” I said and bowed.

“It’s okay.” Sunggyu flashed a smile at me. My heart kept racing from the starting line to the endless finish line.

“I have something you. Happy graduation day.” I bowed again and ran away from him with my embarrassing and blushing face.

As I reached home, I noticed a message on my phone. My hands were shaking as I saw his name on it. Biting my lips, I took it and read the message. I let out a relief sigh. I was glad that he loved the mittens and scarf that I knitted for him. From that day, I started feeling that Sunggyu had a crush on me too.

Months passed, we hadn’t contacted with each other again. I was wondering whether he was alright. I didn’t have the guts to say hello to him. I knew that I would be speechless after saying ‘hello’ even though we were not face to face.

I kept wondering about him. I really did love him. Actually, I always saw him posting some posts on Facebook. Once, he liked my posts and it made my feelings towards him grew bigger. I thought he liked me but one day, I read a really painful post. I didn’t know whether the post was indirectly directed to me but it was really painful.

“Liking your posts doesn’t mean that I like you. Please think POSITIVELY.” it was hurtful indeed. I knew that that post was directed to me indirectly. I told Hyekyu about it and she was shocked. Luckily, she was there to comfort me.

My heart was stabbed with thousands of daggers. I felt like all men were the same. I was furious and I had never liked his posts again. Every time I thought about him, I would cry. There were a lot of other posts that made my heart scarred too. I couldn’t list them because it would be damn long.

I regretted for falling in love with him. I regretted everything that I gave to him. I regretted that it was my biggest sin.