You're the best kind of friend anyone could ask for. You have the right dose of endless smile, addictive laugh, and bright eyes. Not to mention, you have the most optimistic spirit and the most unconditional kindness. An angel, that sums up what you are to me. You're the kind of person who wants to take care of people. You like the feeling of people depending on you, because that makes you feel trustworthy and helpful. To me, you make me feel loved.
I didn't even have a reason to say no when you asked me to be your girlfriend, although you didn't tell me your reason to choose me out of all girls in the world. I didn't care. I didn't mind. I was beyond ecstatic because you chose me. I could call you mine, that's what mattered. I could recall how happy I was when I literally told everyone I started going out with you. Too bad, I didn't know how it went for you.
So your small circle of friends knew that I was your girlfriend. But your schoolmates didn't. Your sister didn't. Your parents didn't. Your colleagues didn't.
We barely saw each other. We only went on dates once a month. We talked through texts. You were so busy so I couldn't demand you things or extra attention. But I loved you too much that your name kept slipping in my daily prayers. They might not know that you were mine, but we both knew it. I claimed you as mine, you claimed me as yours, that's what mattered for me.
I dressed up every day in hope of seeing you around. I learned how to put on makeup in case you'd ask me out on an impromptu date. I began wearing high heels just so I could match your perfect height. I painted my nails and dyed my hair so I would be perfectly presentable in your eyes. I picked the best perfume so you would sink in my scent. But the furthest I got was waking up to text you good morning's and going to bed after you texted me good night's.
Yes, I was madly in love, but things crumbled down. We didn't plan for it. You were no longer you, and I was no longer me. We drifted apart as soon as we started. Our walls were breaking down and our true colors started leaking out. I'd never stooped that low and you'd never tripped that bad.
I wasn't always the humble girl people knew I was. I faked my smiles and forced my laughs. No one was being true to me, except the perfect you. No one noticed the black taint I'd been hiding well, but it was all crystal clear to you. You took me for who I was, despite my flaws and scars, but you didn't let me hold the key to your heart. No one knew what was in there, not me or anyone else. Moreover the fact that you didn't love me that way, because you only loved him.
You weren't always the bubbly guy people knew you were. You drew hollow smiles and choked out empty laughs. You were being true to me, but not entirely true. No one noticed the gray layers you'd been hiding well, until you came clear to me. You took me for who I was, despite my flaws and scars, but you didn't let me hold the key to your heart. Because your heart belonged to him, and you tried hard not to let it show.
Since that day, we naturally drifted apart from each other's life. We weren't ready.
All I can remember now is the scent of your sweater and the warmth of your back whenever I lean on you. Your airy laugh when you surprised me with a back hug and a random yawp. Your smiling eyes when you tried to crack a joke after I had a rough week.
If only I could make you fall in love with me.
A/N: Not that I suspect J-Hope as a gay or he gives me such vibe or whatev.. I just felt like he suited the imaginary guy the best .-. Don't get me wrong, I love J-Hope he's such a cutie angel! This is just a fiction and I am not here to offend anyone, just to share my writings with you guys..