I remember the first time we met.

I was playing on my PSP when I heard someone clear their throat.

“Ahem, ahem,” I heard but I kept playing because of course they should clear their throat if they need & I didn’t wanna embarrass them by looking at them as they do it. But I heard it again, this time louder as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see a pretty boy who looked a few years older than me standing there about to clear his throat again but stops as he sees me looking up.

“Finally you noticed. I can’t keep clearing my throat forever you know I need it for singing.” What the heck is he talking about, he looks kind of like a Pabo.

“Hi my name is Li Wenhan and I’ll be your hyung from now on since I am three years older. Let’s get along ok, little guy.” He said.

Did he just call me “little guy?” I gave him a look and then went back to playing my game without saying anything.

Although I didn’t like him in the beginning because he seemed like a Pabo who was trying too hard to act older, he grew on me. He started to take care of me in little ways like no one had before. Before I met him, I spent most of my free time when I wasn’t training playing games by myself. But he tried to play games with me and take me outside so we can go swimming together and play basketball together.

Actually I found out he was shy around others and he was mostly playful with me. I didn’t know the reason, but he had taking a liking to me and he started to grow on me….to an extent I hadn’t expected. I fell for him. I don’t know when it was that I fell for him, but sometime over the four years as we lived and trained together first in China then in Korea, my heart started to belong to him. He had no idea of course, I had made sure of it. I acted really aloof and cool around him because first of all we’re both guys (this I hadn’t even come to terms with myself either) and secondly he still thinks I’m a little kid, although I am about to turn 18 in a week.

Keeping these feelings to myself was difficult of course. Whenever Wenhan hyung gives me one of his warm hugs or touches me in anyway even by accident, I can feel my ears turning red. It’s a wonder he hasn’t noticed yet tho.

Like right now for example. He started to play with my fingers.

“You have really long fingers, Yibo-ya.” He slurred kind of because of the alcohol, as he played with my fingers gently. Feeling each one with his own rough fingers and then folding and unfolding them.

“ahahaha, that’s because I’m tall hyung, I’m as tall as Xuan hyung now. I’m a growing boy if you haven’t noticed.” I rambled out nervously because of the unexpected skinship, which probably meant nothing to him.

He started to hold my hands up against his own comparing. Although my fingers were longer, his hand was more rough and muscular. I wanted to entwine our fingers, I wonder what would happen if I did…. I sneaked a look at his face only to find him deep in concentration trying to compare our hands. He looked so cute, he was biting his bottom lip in concentration a little which made my heart beat faster. I mustered up the courage to entwine our fingers suddenly. OMG wtf did I just do!

“What are you doing, my hands are bigger than yours obviously, I’m even taller than you by so much hyung,” I said to take the attention away from our entwined hands. He looked at me in the eyes and tilted his head a smirk spreading across his lips. His hands tightened against mine as if he wanted to show how strong he was still even if I maybe taller.

Suddenly I was pushed down onto the bed, my hands held above my head. Wenhan hyung’s weight on top of me. I was so taken aback, my heart started to beat so fast, it was about to pop out of my chest.

“Wha..what are you doing hyung?” I stuttered out as I gulped, looking him in the eye for a second, which was a mistake because he had a really mischevious look in them, one that made me feel all sort of ways I shouldn’t be feeling. I quickly looked away.

“Now that you’re a bit taller, you think you can take me on huh? You take me lightly now?” He said.

It was so hard to concentrate because he was right there on top of me…………..

“Well,,,yea…I bet I could.” I stuttered out. I felt a hand on my chin pulling my face so we’re face to face again. I heard him scoff (laugh). He looked in my eyes ..I looked back blinking….the look in his eyes started to change, becoming softer as he kept looking at me for a while, I looked back getting lost in his eyes, and trying to keep my eyes away from his full lips,, which were so close to mine. I could feel his hot breath on my lips. If I just moved a little our lips would touch…..I was about to go crazy just from that thought. How would they feel against mine….soft…. how would they taste…….

“Why are you so pretty Yibo-ya………making me confused….” I heard him whisper so quietly, I almost thought I imagined it. I looked at him eyes blinking rapidly out of happiness and disbelief. I am making him confused?! Please elaborate hyung!!! I was thinking. His face came even closer to mine. I saw his eyes flicker down towards my LIPS! Wtf! He kept coming closer and closer and I was about to flip out at what was about to happen but then he just fell against me…..not moving at all…

“Hyung……hyung?!” I said as I tried to wiggle underneath him. My hands were still in his above my head. WTF did he just pass out?! All of my built-up tension dissolving to anger! I am going to kill this hyung when he wakes up. I try to move him off of me, but he’s like a rock. Do I have to sleep like this until he wakes up?! He’s kinda heavy tho.

But wait……did he really say that?! How am I supposed to take what he said! He was just probably drunk-talking & might have mistaken me as a girl (it has happened before I mean people mistake me for a girl all the time) and won’t even remember any of it tomorrow. …I feel kind of sad about that thought as I drift to sleep.