Jessica didn’t really saw Onew until the late evening when he sent her a text message to meet (so much for her calling him). Her schedules were packed too in the afternoon hence, no really time to meet and stuff. She was relieved she didn’t have to message him for them to meet because that would be embarrassing. (**She meant that a girl asking a boy would be embarrassing.) They met at a small café near the company’s building, ordered hot chocolate and decided to take a stroll on the busy streets of Seoul. Hopefully no one would notice their identities under the disguise they would be in.

“Wow, I forgot how great it is to walk normally outside without getting bombarded with people around!” She exclaimed, grinning.

He nodded and added, “Or camera flashes blinding you every two seconds.”

“I’ve always wanted to do this kind of stuffs with someone I like. Dates at night, eating bulgogi on streets and all sorts.” It was true – everything she just said. There was thrill and fun on night dates and it gave her pure ecstasy. Not to mention him sending her home and giving her a kiss on the lips… she’s not implying she wants to do it with Onew! Generally, of course! Though she wouldn’t mind being with Onew….

“Me too.”

“If only the management would let us, right? I don’t think it would be too much to ask.” She giggled. “Although, going on secret dates are fun too. Minus the whole getting caught in the act thing like what happened with Jonghyun and Sekyung. That just shatters everything.”

“Yep.”

Jessica furrowed her brows. Something was bothering him, she could tell by the way he spaces out and keeping quiet. He wasn’t usually like that but she was. Maybe she said or did something wrong. She looked passed ahead, trying not to appear disappointed even though she was. “Sorry if I’m talking too much. I must be boring like a lot of people say…”

“Huh? No, not at all.” He said waving his hands deniably. “I think it’s interesting to hear you talk because you rarely tell people about yourself. I’m quite honored, really. Plus I have nothing else to say so…”

She noticed the sad expression on his eyes. Recently it’s been obvious to spot his misery. “Anything wrong?” She doesn’t normally deal with others’ business but she’ll make him an exception.

Onew sighed. “Just stressed and some minor problems.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

He hesitated whether to tell her anything or not. Even though he trusted Jessica with granny and Minyoung, he couldn’t let her go deeper in him. It was better for her to not get involved him in any way. It was enough that she was beside him.

“Not really. Thanks for asking though.” He shot her a half-hearted smile. He wished she would understand.

Jessica hinted he didn’t want to talk about it. She never sharp with people’s feelings but she knows when to stop. Yes, she is upset he didn’t want to talk about his problems but she also can’t do anything about it. That’s how he wants their relationship. “Okay.”

They arrived at a playground and decided to sit there and just talk – even though Jessica didn’t approve at first because she thinks it’s dangerous for them to be outside and there’s a probability of them getting caught. Onew insisted anyway, reasoning it was far more risky to be in a café where a lot of people are. Plus, it was almost midnight and no one would really go in a playground.

Jessica sat at the swing while Onew was seated on the see-saw. “Did you know that I used to think you hated me? It’s really funny because we aren’t exactly close even before and after our OYL promotions were over I felt that you didn’t like me that much.”

He shook his head reproachfully while drinking his hot chocolate. “I told you before that I don’t hate you Jess. I don’t understand why you think I dislike you.” 

“Well, that’s because you were giving me the cold shoulders! And you weren’t really talkative when it comes to me… you’re a blabber with Hyoyeon, I guess that’s because you had a crush on her during our trainee years. I absolutely don’t know what I did before so… care to inform me?”

“Was I? If I was, I didn’t mean to offend you.  I do have a reason though… how do I explain it?” The boy scratched his head. “I get uncomfortable around people like you… Around people I... Let’s just say that I don’t know how to express my feelings well.”

Jessica giggled. “Don’t we all?”

When both silent, they watched the orange street light blinked and lit up, died down and then lit up again. Their skins were met by the cold wind and their ears were deafened by the silence. Jessica looked back at these kinds of moment. She’d probably be awkward and uneasy with this atmosphere but now, she liked it. It made her feel comfortable believe it or not. It was nice.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Aren’t you already?” Onew chuckled, and made a sure go ahead gesture.

Jessica rolled her eyes. Asking him how he feels about her seemed too straightforward and to be honest, really stalker-ish. She’s going overboard and it may not end well but when he gives her an assuring smile, she gave it a go. “How do you feel about me?”

He was surprised of course. However, he remained calm, a little aghast because he didn’t know what to answer – well he does actually! He’s just not sure how to put it. “Well, I think you’re cool like ice and ice is cold, which makes you cool…” What was he saying? He must be crazy! “But you’re not cold at all! You’re warm and it’s like bread or rice or coffee in the morning. But I prefer egg.”

She’s not sure of what he just said. Ice? Warm? Bread? Rice? Egg? “I’m sorry Onew. I have no idea what you just said. Can you speak more… err, normally?” Though she had to admit, she wanted to laugh when he was rambling.

Onew cleared his throat. “I mean, you’re a wonderful friend and you listen well too.”

Oh. A friend, a wonderful friend. How depressing and disappointing. Now she’s sure that it was one-sided and she was going to be rejected.

“Why are you asking anyway?”

“Just curious. She gave him a beam.

Onew bit his lower lip. Now he was the one curious. “How, how about… you?” He gulped. “How do you… feel about me?”

Jessica contemplated whether she was to tell the truth or not. The truth about liking him. She was afraid, so afraid to be unwanted (generally) and hurt by him. Scared to lose her trust on him. “Honestly, I---“

“Wait! Actually, hold that thought!” Onew spoke hastily. “The truth is, there’s more about,” He can’t seem to mouth it. He sighed. “About my feelings for you.”

The blonde couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was he gonna…?

“These past few months, around eight or nine, after our One Year Later promotions, something caught my eye and usually I’ll try and ignore it because it’s not my business… it was you.” A smile landed on his lips. “You were singing this song, it wasn’t really my favorite, but you were singing it with so much emotion. Full of passion, sincerity and sadness.” Onew laughed haughtily. He was trying to remember something, she could tell by the squint on his eyes.

“And well, I tried to discern what the reason was --- why you were sad. And up to now, I have no idea what it is. Between those times, something in me was growing. I had no idea what it was and it was only recently I discovered what it was.” His expression changed. Amused, nervous and slightly unsure of what was coming out from his mouth.

“I’m not sure if you would believe this, and it would sound really, really cheap and nauseating but what I found… was love.”

Jessica was cringing. She doesn’t deal with this stuff – it sounds so cheesy and weird. Utterly disgusting yet she was happy and pleased to hear he found love on her (or with her). It was a confession she had been waiting for.

Onew was looking away from her eye view, embarrassed. His cheeks and ears were blushing like a tomato so he hid his face on his palms. “You don’t really have to like me back, knowing you know how I feel is enough.” He smiled even though she couldn’t quite see it.

“No! I –“ Hence this was her chance to say what she wanted to tell him earlier. What she wanted to tell from some time now. It was nerve-wracking. “The truth is Onew I,” She smiled to herself. Her confidence was boosting up and she wasn’t worried anymore. “I like you. More than friend like. Maybe even lo—“ Okay maybe not love. It’s still early for that. “The thing is you don’t need to ask me if I respond to your confession because I do. I like you Onew.” She took his hand and held it against hers. He was shaking.  She was trembling too but did it matter? Finally, both of their feelings were reached.

For a while, they just sit there, holding hands, drowning and melting in each others’ gazes. Their smiles were both of embarrassment and delight. The world didn’t matter anymore. They were both distracted by each other’s presence until Onew sneezed. His nose was red and getting runny.

Jessica laughed. “I think we’ve been out of the cold too long. Come on, let’s go home.” 

__________

Author's Note: 

There! Voila! It is finally done! :)

It's not really good and I swear I was gonna makie it awkward but IDK what happened. Dang. Oh well, comments are loved.