I (don't) love you
Saying I Love You![](https://photo.asianfanfics.com/story_cover/262152_f136d1.jpg)
2 weeks later...
It's yet another sorrowful morning. I don't even want to wake up. But I needed to, for my mom. Here I go again with another round of break up. I didn't know it will be more painful than before. I have prepared for it and yet it goes on like this. I know this will happen eventually. Sangbum warned me about it. And I clearly know this day would come. But why does this feeling hurt me so bad?
"Joon Young called. He said Onew is waiting at the front door of the restaurant... again." My mom greeted me with this news. I sighed in frustration.
If only Jinki would stop, this hurtful feeling will at least lessen. But he won't just stop. Because he knew I was lying. He knew I never even wanted to do this. I can't even look at him for I might just take back my words of breaking up. I might just hug him and tell him how much I feel for him.
"Let him be omma. I'll talk to him." I told my mom and left the house with a heavy heart.
I'm thinking of what to say for him to stop. I'm thinking of hurtful words and bad stuffs. And it hurts me more that I'm thinking like this. How can I hurt such a wonderful person? Jinki of all people? That lovely guy with a very warm smile. My cuddly Lee Jinki, who always thinks of making me happy and always loving me without asking anything in return.
"Park Jihyo..." I hear him called out my name as if he's choking.
There he was standing at the front door, waiting for me. His face was sullen. He seemed like he have not eaten for the past two weeks. He was hurting more than anything, he is hurting because of me.
I went to him and gave away a smile. He smiled back and his face lighten at what I did. And I know I can't take that back anymore. It's nice to see him smile. That smile I've never seen for long. I missed him. That I realized today. I wanted to hug him but I force myself not to. I signalled him to go inside. Those papparazi roaming around might see us together again.
We went inside without a word. I seated him to his favorite spot. It was the part of the restuarant where I first brought them. It remained SHINee's reserved spot until this very day. He is silently smiling at me. This is like our everyday routine but without any word spoken today. Still not saying anything, I went to the kitchen to cook his favorite meal. Joon Young greeted me. I just give him a big smile and then he left to give out flyers.
While cooking, I tried to peek at what Jinki is doing. He's just there at his seat, like a little kid waiting for his mom to come back. He was smiling all through out. And that just pains me a lot.
I finished in no time and went to him to feed him. I at least need to do that. He might not want to eat again with what I planned to say. And more so, he might hurt more this time around.
"Thank you for the meal!" He was jolly. He eat and eat until he finishes the whole meal. He ate like he has been starving. Not even thinking about his diet.
He finished the food, still without any other words other than thanking me for the meal. He helped me clean up and asked me a couple of times if I already have eaten. All I do is nod though I barely even eat a meal.
After that we sat back to his favorite spot. We just stared at each other for the whole thirty minutes or so. And then finally he started to speak to me.
"Please, Jihyo-ah. Let's not do this. Please?" He begged. His eyes were tearful and seeing it makes me wanted to cry.
"It's for the better Lee Jinki." I answered. All the thoughts I had seems to have vanished. I might not be able to do this well.
"Don't worry about anything else and just trust me." He begged even more. And it hurts to see him beg so desperately.
"I don't trust you enough." I blurted out. It's starting. The bad thoughts I have is flowing.
"I know you're lying!" He shouted in frustration.
"I'm not lying Jinki! What we had isn't even real. I just used you to forget Sangbum. Don't you get it?!" And there, I said it. I said another lie. It keeps flowing. I don't even know how I can say those words to him.
"You're just lying. I know you're lying." He cried out. I can't look at him anymore.
"Just leave me alone." I shut my eyes for I cannot handle anymore.
"Please Jihyo-ah!" He begged holding onto my hand.
I know I should not do this but then I needed to. I'm really sorry Jinki-ah. I don't want to end it like this but it's for both of us.
"I don't love you Jinki!! I never did!!" I shove his hands away and run as fast as I can. I felt him followed me and so I ran faster and he was gone.
A/N: Why did this become dramatic suddenly?
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