Dear Diary,

Apparently JR, Baekho and Ren had figured out that Minhyun was been smoking while I was still in the hospital. When they woke up and saw that Minhyun had decided to quit, they were ecstatic. JR later told me that they had all tried to convince him. Ren even cried begging him to quit, but nothing had worked. Apparently, I was the only one who was able to convince him.

“You’re very special to him Aron,” JR told me. I guess he’s right. I am special to Minhyun, and I’m truly very happy that I am.

So today was the first day of Minhyun abstinence. I talked to manager-hyung telling him that Minhyun could not go to practice because he wasn’t feeling well. Manager-hyung took my word for it and Minhyun was exempt from practice today.

It was bad. It was very, very bad. Minhyun would walk aimlessly around the dorm, snapping at anyone who would talk to him. He was restless and angry. He even demanded I tell him where I disposed of the cigarettes. When I starkly refused to tell him, he begged me to find him just one. He promised he would smoke just one and then he’d quit. I also refused.

Although he looked bitter with me, he held back doing anything to show it. His tone of voice would change, but he would refrain from raising it. He’d refrain from saying what he wanted to say to me. He refrained from hitting and throwing a tantrum.

He would groan in frustration go into his room and slam the door.

He wouldn’t eat or drink. He would listen to his music, but even that didn’t soothe him. He pushed away anyone who approached him. I even caught him going through his phone, trying to call his cigarette provider in Seoul. I confiscated his phone, and he let me with just a little protest. He knew he was wrong.

Right now it’s 1:00 am, he’s in the living room, listening to his music. He told me he couldn’t sleep, that his insides were acting up and he feels like throwing up. I tried to comfort him telling him that it’ll get easier; the first day is always the longest. He’s got bags under his eyes and he looks awfully pale.

I didn’t know it was this hard to quit. I didn’t know Minhyun would suffer so much. It breaks my heart to see him like this. I even considered giving him that one cigarette for today because he was struggling way too much. I just wanted him to eat and get some sleep…

I looked up stuff online about quitting smoking and realized I did a few things wrong. First of all, I shouldn’t have let him skip practice. Exercise and heavy breathing in general will help mitigate the craving apparently. The fact he refused to eat and drink is bad as well. Apparently, a quitting smoker should drink a lot of water and eat heavily as to weaken the craving and preoccupy the taste buds. Also, I learned that there’s a pill he can take that’s like a healthy replacement to nicotine called Bupropion that would also help the craving dwindle. Apparently, lemons also help. I read also that chewing on toothpicks might help. I made a shopping list of stuff to buy Minhyun tomorrow. I hope they’ll help.

Now excuse me while I try to help Minhyun sleep.

A/N: I have never smoked nor am I close to a smoker so I don’t know how quitting works. I did some research to write this chapter. Still, please forgive me if anything about this chapter was inaccurate or wrong. Please correct me too, for future reference.

Thank you for all of your lovely and encouraging comments! <3