He quickly looked up, surprised over your sudden statement. He knew how much you loved him and how much you treasured the love you shared. He couldn’t help but to frown, slightly annoyed by how casually you could throw out such a sentence.

”Oh really, Are you sure?”

”Y-Yes” you mentally slapped yourself for your trembling voice. Kai stared at you for a moment and you could see the a flash of hurt in his eyes. But they were replaced in a lightning speed by his annoyed expression.

”Stop being so dumb, you know you love me, and I know that aswell. I don’t get why you are trying to imitate those annoying girls, thinking that everything will turn into a ing fairytale after saying ’let’s break up’. Because I’m not going to be like those foolish guys to chase after you again.”

You felt something inside of you break, and you could almost hear your heart shatter like glass falling to the floor. So this is how a broken heart feels like. You gathered your strength to hold back your tears and looked Kai in the eyes.

”You know what? I never expected you to run after me. Actually, I never expected anything from you. I don’t even know you anymore, where is the Jongin I fell in love with three years ago, where is the Jongin that I could talk to about everything with? You’ve changed, and don’t say you haven’t. Because in that case I must’ve been blind for these three years. Ha! You must have thought that I was such a fool, so naive to actually think that Kim Jongin, Kai of exo would fall in love with such a normal girl. Well I guess I was. I loved you so much, I still do but I can’t take it anymore, you’re pushing me away more and more and I don’t know what to do. So I think we should end whatever we had, I know that my feelings for you were real, but I don’t know whether yours were as well or if they were just an act. You are my first love and I will always treasure this relationship.”

You were so into your speech that you didn’t notice the tears that were rolling down your cheaks, you quickly wiped them away and stood up. The chair made a creaky noice and the earlier cozy cafe didn’t look so enticing anymore. You walked over to the speechless Kai and gave him a last peck on the cheek.

”Goodbye Jongin, and don’t worry, you won’t need to chase after me”

After that, you ran out of the cafe, almost crashing into a waiter earning yourself a few curious glances. You ran out on the street, the sunlight that mixed with your tears made the world almost sea-like, as if being in a dream where you were the only one and the surrounding muffled by water.

Everything felt so unreal, Jongin was your boyfriend now. He was.

You continued walking on the streets in your hazy condition and let the tears fall down like a long awaited monsoon rain. You heard laughter and car honks. For some reason, sunny days always made you sad, and today was not any better since you had an actual reason to be sad now. ’Is he really going to let me go this easily?’ you couldn’t help that little hope in your heart telling you that he was running after you, that he would be there when you turned around. And you felt like you heard footsteps behind you, getting closer and closer by every step. ’This is it, it’s him. He do love me, should I turn around? yes I should probably turn around’ All these thoughts ran through your mind when you silently started counting ”one, two, three, four…… five.” You stopped you steps and slowly turned around. The cafe were almost invisible by now and the streets were filled with people, almost everyone in South Korea seemed to be walking on that street with you. Everyone except Kai.

You walked home the rest of the road, you felt so stupid and heartbroken that you didn’t even bother to take a taxi. ’How could I actually think that he would chase after me? He clearly told me that he wouldn’t.. aaaish I’m so stupid stupid stupid! Why didn’t he chase after me?! I hate him’. You replayed everything that happened, his face, his emotionless expression when you walked out the cafe and the that tiny hope that you couldn't help to have when you were walking on the street. God you felt like such an idiot, to actually believe that Kim Jongin would want to chase after you.

Jongin watched you stare at the ground while mumbling to yourself, he couldn’t help but  to smile at how cute you were when you were making those angry faces and kicking the stones so they were whirling around your feet, but the smile was quickly replaced by a guilty expression when he remembered your words. ” Actually, I never expected anything from you”  He never knew how much you doubted his love and  and that truly hurt him.

The sun was setting and the whispering crickets filled the twilight sky alongside the fragrance of rose bushes. While still muttering curses about Kai you looked up to see how much you got left until you reached your house. Your abusive curses quickly dissolved when you saw the person you least expected standing at your door.

The person you had spent your entire walk home cursing. Kim Jongin.

”W-Why are you here?” you stuttered. ’ why do I always become so weak in front of him’ you silently swore at yourself.

”I came to see you.”

”I told you not to bother, don’t waste your time on things you don’t even care about.”

You’ve only exchanged a few words with him and you could already feel the tears at your eyes, one more blink and they would fall like a curtain of rain.

”Who told you I didn’t care?”

”Well, you clearly doesn’t becau---”

You didn’t have time to finish your sentence before you were quickly pulled into the warm embrace of your ex-boyfriend.  Oh how you have missed his warmth, even though it was only a few hours ago since he last hugged you it felt as if it was decades ago. You hated to admit it but you couldn’t go through a day without his touch and presence, and the current situation made every curse and thought in your mind foggy.

”Idiot..” he mumbled into your hair.

”I care about you so much. I am not good with words and I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend these past few weeks--”

”I couldn’t agree more” you interupted him with a slight smile playing on your lips.

Kai let out a small chuckle and pulled away to look into your swollen eyes, once again feeling the guilt strike him.

”Babe, please let me finish first.” you nodded slowly and he continued.

”I don’t know whats gotten into me these days, SM’s been giving me new coreography after coreography to learn and they have just taken so much time and energy. I mean, you know I love to dance but sometimes it just gets too much. And when I come home I see you all worried and sleepy for waiting up on me and I can’t help but to think that I don’t deserve you. You’re always so understanding and you never get mad at me. Like what the hell, I don’t even deserve it. I have done too much to hurt you and not even bothering to say a simple ’I’m sorry’. I’m such a ing jerk and you are an idiot that doesn’t even notice it. But even though that, you are the reason why I still am pursuing my dreams, you are my everything and I would chase after you even if  I would never reach you. Because I love your smile, your weird aegyo and how bad your cooking is, like it’s so awful sometimes that you make me question your womanly side but no matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you.”

You stared at Kai for a long time. It’s been such a long time since you’ve really looked at him and feel like he was talking to you. His confession made your heart flutter and even though some parts made you frown you couldn’t help but to wrap you arms around his neck.

”I love you too, Kim Jongin” you whispered against his neck.

Kai felt how the corners of his mouth pulled up in a smile before hugging you tighter, never wanting to let go of you. He pulled away slightly to take a look at your face, he brushed a strand of hair away before slowly planting his lips on yours.

The feeling of your lips against his felt so right, like a jigsaw puzzle. You felt how Kais hands slowly wandered down to your hips and pulled you in closer before you felt the tip of his tongue darting out to at your bottom lip asking for entrance and you giggled a bit before withdrawing from the soon to become more intimate kiss. Kai gave you a smile, not the teasing one but a genuine smile that you hadn’t seen in months. 

”Will you be my girlfriend?”

You gazed at his bronze skin with peach colored cheeks, those lucious lips and sparkling eyes, somehow this question gave you the same butterflies in your belly as three years ago, but truth to be said, no matter what Jongin did, you always felt like that.

”Yes”

And with that, Kai drew you in for another kiss. His arms wrapped around your dress covered waist and he melted a little bit when he felt you pull him in just a little bit closer to close any possible gap. The two of you fitted so well together and everything around you seemed to cease to exist.

Only leaving the rose bushes and the chilly summer breeze oozing through the luminous night sky in Seoul.

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AAnd I'm done! english is not my first language so it might be kinda y at some parts.

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