Kai

I can’t sleep last night. This is maybe due to I met her. I met Haru. Our memories suddenly just flashed back when I saw her yesterday. It’s been 4 years I have not see her and she just beautiful like first time we met. I know I shouldn’t be like this but I just keep on remind about her and our memories during our 3 years together. 3 years been together plus 4 years have not seen her is like a torture to me. “Daddy!!!” Haru come to sit beside me and kiss my left cheek. “Hey baby…why so happy this morning?” I just smile and pour my kid her favorite hot choco. “Nothing. Just happy. That’s all. Emm…daddy…I have something to ask.” Haru just look at me with her cute puppy eyes. I can’t say no to what Haru wants. She is my life now.

After my wife past away 4 years ago when she deliver Haru, I promised to myself that no matter what, Haru is my life now. I pity my daughter because she doesn’t even feel the feeling and the touch of having a mother. My wife dead right after she gave me Haru. I do everything for my daughter even if I have to died. I thank God for giving me such beautiful and sweet daughter like Haru. I admit she inherited my genes but her eyes…her eyes same with my wife’s eyes. My wife’s eyes remind me of someone. The chocolate hazel eyes same with Haru’s eyes, the women that I used to love 7 years ago.

“Yes baby..what is it you want to know?” I just Haru’s hair. “ Dad…the auntie that we met yesterday..is she Lee Haru that you told me? Your first love during your study 7 years ago?” I just startled with what Haru asked me. She is much more matured than me. Yes I had told her my first love story every time before she go to bed. She is not like other kids who like fairy tale stories. That’s really weird. “Yes she is baby…why?”.  Haru looked at me while munching her favorite cereal. “ She’s beautiful. Her face never changed. Same with the paint that daddy have at your gallery. And she have same eyes color with me and mum.”  I look at Haru and smile sweetly to her. “ I like her daddy. Is she remembered you and your memories together? You know first love is not that easy to forget.”

 My daughter Haru…she’s so smart. She just 4 but how come she know anything about love. “ Emm.. daddy… is there any letter from mum?” Haru will always asking about her mum’s letter everyday. Yes my wife is gone but she left Haru the letter that she want to said to her. Is like a thousand tons of letter I kept in a place where she don’t even know it. My wife write it everyday during her pregnancy period. She know that she will not be able to see her daughter growing up. It’s weird right? How come my wife know she will  not be able to see her daughter growing up in front of her own eyes. “So today..if you behave well then I give you your mum’s letter. But promise me to behave well in the school ok?”  Haru winked at me and keep on munching her cereal.  “ Ok.. I’m done. Faster daddy…we gonna be late for my school and you have an appointment today. Remember ?”  She is just like my late wife..like to nagged me remembered me my appointment.

We quickly heading out and in the lift Haru asking me another questions that makes me don’t know how to answer it.  “ Daddy.. do you missed mummy? I don’t know why when I saw auntie Haru yesterday, suddenly I missed my mum.”  I just shocked with what she said. Haru is not a girl that easy to feel sad and crying even she fell hard on the ground and her knees have blood also she don’t cry easily. I feel weird. I know she never said she missed her mum.  “ Haru…you never said you missed mum. But today you totally weird. Why?”  Haru just hugged me. But I can see her eyes a bit teary.  “ Nothing daddy. Come lets go. We arrive at the lobby already.”  This kid…sometimes it’s hard for me to understand my daughter’s feeling. After all she is a girl and I’m her daddy. Sometimes we argue, sometimes I can share my hobby with her which is drawing but sometimes we looks like a couple. Kim Haru… I’m sorry because of daddy you can’t not feel the touch of a mum. I’m sorry my daughter.

Haru

I smell something good from the kitchen when I woke up. I quickly bath and thinking about yesterday’s night. I feel guilty to Luhan. I think I should tell him the truth. I don’t want he know the truth from any other peoples. “Hey.. you awake? Come have a sit. I cook you kimchi fried rice.”  I was a lucky wife…a very lucky wife to have a husband that know how to cook.  “Here… oh your hot choco too. Eat.” I can see that Luhan smile while watching me eating. “ You really like to watch me eat huh?” Luhan just nod and smile. “ How did you know? Haha…I love watching peoples eat what I cooked.” I take one bite and drink my hot choco. I watch Luhan eyes just keep on staring at his kimchi fried rice on my plate. “You want some?” I asked him. He just nodded. “ahhh..” I feed him with my own spoon and I can see that he’s a bit shy. His cheeks so red. It’s cute. He take my spoon and smile shyly.

“ Are you shy Lu?” I just laugh a bit looking at his action. “ Oh no..you see my red cheeks? Ah no!!!!”  Luhan just make his head down and I smile look at him.    “ You look cute though. Your red cheeks so cute.”  I pinched his cheeks and he take my hand.  “Are you ok? I really worry last night. You don’t even eat and you cry so hard.”  I just nodded. But there something makes my eyes widened. He hold my hand softly and kiss my left hand. I just shocked with his actions. And after that he just rubbed my palm and blow some air to makes me warm. I just stared at what he did. “ Today I have meeting with my client. Want to come?.” I just smile and he softly released my hand. I don’t know what happen to me every time he did the skin ship with me, I just stared and not mad at him. He’s like using magic every time he touch me.

“Ok. Lets go princess.” He winked at me and he intertwined our fingers together. Inside the car, we just keep quite and I just think this is the time for me to tell Luhan that I met Kai last night. “Lu…I have something to said to you.”  He just keep on driving and he smile to me. “Go on. You want to talk about what happen last night? I knew already..you met him right? I call Sehun and he just told me you met that guy.”  Oh no…Sehun told him? Haru poor you…your husband know about it thru your bestie.. that jerk OhSehun… I just gulp when Luhan said that he know it.

 “You not mad at me? That I met him yesterday?”  “Mad? Why must I ? he is your friend and you have the right to meet anyone that you want to meet.”  I look at the window outside and think what Luhan said is true. But I still feel guilty to him. “I’m sorry Lu.. I shouldn’t met him. It’s just coincidence.” I said while looking at the view outside. “It’s ok Haru. You don’t need to said sorry. I understand it. I don’t mind if you want to see him but I want something from you.”  Something? No wait..don’t said that he want…  “Yah!! Lee Haru..don’t take me wrong. Something is not like what you think. What I want is..between us I hope there is no secret. I hope that we been honest to each other and telling the truth. Deal ?”  I just smiled when hear what Luhan said. “ Ok Deal.” I saw Luhan showed his pinky fingers which he want to make a deal with me. I grabbed his pinky fingers and here we go..make a deal between us. 

“Here we are. I have appointment with my client here. So maybe you can take around at this gallery if you don’t want to sit hear what my client and me discuss about.”  We both quickly went to the gallery that located at Apgujong.  “You know..the owner of this gallery died already. So now there is one guy that managed this gallery. This guy want to buy my painting which you saw during the day I have the pink color at my face. Remember it? So I’m here to discuss it with the manager of this gallery.”  I just nodded and followed Luhan’s move. Once we inside the gallery, the worker approach us. “Hi…are you Mr Luhan?” Luhan just smile and nodded. “Come I take you to his office. And Miss..come with us.”  That male worker said to us.

 “Ah..no.. I just want to look around this gallery. You both can go without me.”  I said and smile to Luhan. Both of them, Luhan and the worker went to the office to see the manager of this gallery. As I look at the painting that have in this gallery…I just feel something about the drawing. I just feel I saw this drawing before but I think it was 7 years ago..no…I don’t think this is his gallery. But there is one painting that caught my eyes. The paint of a kid…but her face seem familiar to me…wait…is this Haru? I mean Kim Haru…Kai’s daughter. No way…oh God..why I think this thing all become more complicated. What happen to this painting. I’m pretty sure she is Kai’s daughter..the hazel chocolate eyes she have..same with my eyes color. Why everything seem complicated to me. Kai..why must you do this to me. I just feel my heart beating so fast. The feeling that I feel when I first met Kai. Please God don’t tell me my husband going to meet the owner of this painting…please no…

Luhan

The gallery that we go today is so huge and beautiful. It’s have most beautiful painting I ever saw. Haru left at the lobby to see around this gallery and the worker here takes me to the office. On our way to the office, the worker showed me a little bit about the painting here. As we pass by one corridor, suddenly my eyes stuck into one painting. It’s just on our way to the office. It’s a girl…and it’s..Haru…my wife. I’m pretty sure it’ my wife face here…brown hazel eyes…mole at nose and dark hair until shoulder…it’s her…why she is here?. I just feel something not right here…no way my wife come here before me. And how come this gallery have my wife painting…looks exactly like her.  “Er…Mr.. we are here. Are you ok? Why you keep staring at that painting?”  I just look at the worker.        “ Who is the owner of this painting?” I asked the worker which he smiled at me and said “You will meet him later.”  I just nodded and when inside the office that the manager of this gallery.

As I went inside…I saw the wall of this room filled with painting that showed some sceneries looks like a university. But why I think I saw this university before?. “Have a sit Mr. My boss is on the way. He have to send his daughter to school first. Just wait a little while.”  I just nodded and the worker give me a cup of coffee. As I look around the office, I can see more painting which I found it’s a familiar places that couple always go, likes Namsan Tower, Sindang, Banpo bridge and many more. But one paint which showed a shop that have a sign Sindang dukbugi is kind of rare. How come a painter draw a picture of the front shop that have ahjumma face there and said "Sindang dukbugi is the best"? This is really weird ok. The paint looks so real. My eyes stuck into one painting that have many familiar faces I had met before. Wait…isn’t this Sehun…Elly..Chanyeol..Fie..Anna..Zara and Haru…why all of them here. What is this? Why their face drawn in this painting?. First my wife face and now…my wife’s friends faces. Don’t tell me that the owner of this painting is….no…please that’s can’t be him right. As I look deep into the painting…suddenly the door knob open and there is someone that I knew for so long pop into this room.

Kai

Oh great.. I’m late. This is all because of the traffic jam on my way from Haru’s school to my office. I have an important appointment today. Oh God.. I hope my client won’t be mad at me. I reach the gallery and I quickly run into the gallery when suddenly I bummed into someone so hard until she fell on the ground. “ Oh no Miss.. I’m sorry … I’m really sorry. Are you ok?”  I just got up and take her hand to make her up too. “Haru? What are you doing here?”  I just shocked seeing Haru inside my gallery. As far as I remember, I don’t tell her about my work place, that I work at the gallery as a manager and soon this gallery going to be mind.  “Are you ok? I’m sorry I have an appointment. I’m in hurry but what are you doing here?” . I just look at her condition making sure she is ok.  “Ah..nothing Kai… I’ll just accom-“  “Mr Kai.. your client waiting for you inside the office.”  My worker just shouted to me and signaling me to come quickly. “I’m sorry Haru I have to go. I call you later ok.”

I just feel weird why she is here…ah maybe she just want to see those art. Yes she never changed. She is not an art student but I still remember she love to see my painting and love to go to the art gallery. As I twisted the knob and I saw the back of my client. Oh no I’m late. He must be mad at me. “Er… I’m sorry I’m late..er Mr..?” as I said to my client and I was shocked when I saw his face. The face that I missed so much, faces that I used to joke around due to his “baby face”.  “Luhan?”  I just said to him which also make him shocked.  “Jongin? Is that really you Kim Jongin?” we both shocked and I stand closer to him to make sure he is Luhan, my friends during kindergarten until high school.  “Yah!! It’s you Lulu? Wait where is it? Where is the scar?”  I search all over his face to see the scar that he have because of me.  “Ha..there it is. Under your mouth. And then it’s correct it’s you. Oh my God..where have you been. Yah!! Let me touch your scar..haha still deep huh?”  I touch the scar under his mouth using my pinky finger.

“YAH!! What the..if people saw us they will think we are gay ok? You touch my mouth…ha.. this is not so right. And you?? Where are you going? It’s been like I think 10 years we not see each other? Right? So long.”  We both sat at the couch and the worker come in to give one more coffee to me. “Ya..10 years..wah since we were 18 right? We have not seen each other. Long time no see my friend.”  I just hugged Luhan and we both seem don’t want to be apart. I keep my hand on his shoulder and I can see that he never aged. “Hey…you still remember about us? Our fight?” Luhan just smile and drink his coffee. “Of course..because of your punch.. I get this ugly scar under my mouth. It’s you the one responsible to me ok?”  We both laugh and we just punch each other arms. “So tell me…are you my client? The owner of the painting that I want to buy?” Luhan just nodded at me. “ Yes I am Mr Kim Jongin. So you the manager here? Wah you are great huh?”

“Well not that great. Yes you can said it like that. This gallery soon to be mine because I’m in the process to buy it. I used to work here but now the owner dead already so I but this gallery. As you can see some of the painting here is my own drawing.”  Luhan just make his head turn around and look at all those painting. “ You know them? I mean those peoples inside this painting?” Luhan said and pointing to the drawing that have my friends faces, Haru,Anna, Sehun,Fie,Zara, Elly and Chanyeol. “Em..why? you know them too? They are my friends during I study at the university 7 years ago. But I also haven’t met them so long. But one of the I met yesterday. Still pretty and same like we used to know.” I smile at Luhan and we both headed to my desk.

“Hey…we have to set a date ok? You and me dating..haha you will like it. I have lots of things to tell you. And I missed you bestie.”  I said to Luhan. “Sure..but it’s not dating ok? I hate you and how come I date you…urgghh it’s dirty man..you always so cheesy. Oh by the way my gallery also in this area…a couple blocks from here. Here my card. Do drop by dude.”  Luhan handled my his business card. “Woah "deer"…you owned gallery? Woah that’ great. I’m sure to drop by if I have time.”

“Ah..Jongin ah…I guess I should go…someone waiting for me.”  Luhan said to me and make his way out. “Someone? Who? Ha…your angel? Hahah Lulu..you and your casanova things never end huh? I still remember you have lots of fans during our school days but none of them you take it serious..just as a friends…and now who is she? Mind to introduce to me?”  I said and pat his shoulder. “Yah!! You ert. No way. I won’t introduce her to you. I’m afraid she will fall for you. This jerk…never changed.”  Luhan said and we both heading out of my office.

“Hey dark kid!!! See you later..don’t forget call me..remember we have a date..just two of us together.” Luhan yelled at me as he makes his way out. “Orait Lulu Oppa!!! I will” . This bastard..never changed too.. he used to call me dark kid and I used to call him Lulu Oppa because his face looks like a girl. As I made my way into the office..suddenly I remember Haru. I quickly make my way out to see Haru but she is nowhere to see. Where is she? What she’s doing here? It’s weird.

Luhan

I met him…that dark kid Kim Jongin..used to be my buddy during kindergarten days until our high school days. We both apart when I decided to pursue my study in Italy and he is also one of the reason why I'm out from Korea. I look for Haru at the lobby but she is not here. The worker said that she out already. I tried to call her. “Haru..where are you? I’m done now.”  I just heard silent and a little while she replying me. “Oh you done..sorry. I went to the café to have hot choco. Ok I go to you now”. As I wait for Haru…I keep on thinking about what Jongin said..the paint of Haru’s friends and he said they are all his friends. And Jongin said he met one of them yesterday. And Jongin also said the person he met yesterday still the same like 7 years ago. Who the person that he met? Everything seem so curious to me.

“Oh Lu..” I heard Haru called me and I held her shoulder. “Where are you? I thought you run away” I just said look straight into her eyes. “Nah..why must I? here your fav ice Americano.” Haru handed me my drinks and we both make our way to my car. I just want to ask Jongin about the paint that I saw on my way to his office. Haru’s face. Why he have that paint?  “Er…Lu? Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?”  Haru asked me and I quickly grab her hand and our hand interlock together. I put her left hand inside my pocket. “Are you cold? Your hand why so cold?” I said to her and I can see she’s smiling. Her smile is just the most beautiful thing I ever saw.

“Are you hungry?” I said to Haru and she just nodded. “Come. I take you to the best dukbugi in this town”.  “Sindang dukbugi?” Haru asked me and make me stopped and stare at her. Sindang ? yes…suddenly make me think about the paint that I saw inside Jongin’s office, which showed on of the famous shop in Sindang which knows the best for their dukbugi.  “How come you know it?”. I asked her.  “Haha Lu.. you kind of slow.. you know everyone here know about Sindang dukbugi. The best dukbugi in Korea. My friends and I used to eat there when we are student long time ago.”  Her friends? Wait….the paint of shop that I saw in Jongin’s office is it the same shop that she want to go?  “So..if you know that place so well…then which shop should we go?”  I just purposely asked her just to make sure is it the same shop with the paint that I saw. “Em..the shop that have ahjumma face that have a sign said "Sindang dukbugi is the best”. Wait…why must that shop? Why must the shop that I saw inside Jongin’s office.  “That’s the shop that we used to go a lot and the owner is so kind to us. I wonder if she still remember me because we rarely go there once we finished study.”  I just drove to Sindang and I can see that Haru just look at the scenery and enjoy the night through the window.

Kai

It’s 5 p.m. already. I guess I should go. I need to pick up Haru at her day care centre. “I have to go. If anyone want to see me, just give me a call.”  As I said to one of my worker.  “Ok Mr. Er…Mr. just now one man that you met, is him the one that we want to buy his drawing?” my worker asking me and followed me out from the office.  “Yes why?” I asked him.  “Nothing. But just now he asking me about one painting. This one”  my worker showed one paint which have Haru’s face on the wall on the way to my office.  “ I said to him that the owner of this painting is inside the office. I mean you, Mr Kai” my worker continue to gave me explanation. It’s weird why Luhan asked about this painting?  “Ah..never mind..nothing to worry about. He is actually my childhood friend. Maybe he just want to know who draw this so well.”  I just said like that to my worker.

“Oh Mr Kai.. you have your wife letter? Haru must be mad if you don’t give her anything this week”. My worker tried to remind me about my wife letter that I must gave to Haru today.  “Oh no. Wait.. I’ll get it inside.” I run through my office and take one letter from my desk drawer. Yes I keep my wife letter here inside my office. I won’t dare to keep it at home because Haru must be find it. Every week I will give Haru one letter and sometime two letter. Because my wife wrote a lots of letters to give Haru and sometimes Haru learn something from my wife letter. I never read my wife letter because Haru won’t let it. And I also don’t know what are the content of my wife letter. Every time I try to read it, Haru just said  “It’s a girl things dad.”  Yes she is.

I made my way to pick up Haru. As I reach Haru’s day care, I can see that my cutie little kid smiling happy when saw me. “Hey daddy!!!!” she shouted to me once she in my car.  “Daddy..where is it?” She asking her mum letter. “Wait until we get back home ok baby” as I said to her pinched her nose. As we arrive home, I’ll told Haru to clean herself first and I made my way to make simple dinner just for the two of us. I cook her dukbugi ramyeon which is her fav food. “You done Haru? Here have a sit. I’ll cook for you ramyeon dukbugi.”  I said to her and make her food to be ready.  “Daddy..don’t you know ramyeon is not good for our health?”  I just make my eyes widened. “What? Who told you? You also like ramyeon dukbugi right? Haru ah..don’t said to daddy like that.”  “ It’s not me daddy. It’s mum. Mum said to me last week", :

“Don’t make your daddy cook you ramyeon. It’s not good to your health. I know your daddy always cook ramyeon right? Because that’s the only food that he know how to cook”

Haru said to me and she take out the ramyeon from her food.  “What ? your mummy said it? Oh God…Suri ah..what did you tell to our kid?”. Haru just keep on eating dukbugi only since she followed what her mum told which is do not always eat ramyeon.  “So you not gonna eat ramyeon that I cook for you?” . Haru just nodded and she just eat like nothing happen. This kid…aishh…. “So..where’s my present?”  Haru give her hand to me saying that she want her “Letter”.  “Here. But can I know what your mum said today?” as I said look into her eyes. Haru just shook her head and said “Mum said that you don’t have the rights to read it”. What with this kid…ok…she’s acting like my wife now.  “But…daddy….” I just keep on eating and ignore that she called me.  “ Did you tell mum that you met your first love yesterday?” I cough and my food just all over the dining table. What? How come my wife know it?. I look into Haru which I want more explanation from her.  “Why? What did your mum said?” as I asked her eyes just stuck into that letter.  “Mum said”:

“Did your dad meet her? I mean your dad’s first love…did him? Because I can see that he cannot sleep last night… So..Haru tell me. How is she? Is she pretty than your mummy? I’ll bet your daddy must be happy now…”

“That’s what mum said in this letter. I’m not lying dad.”  Haru said to me and I took her letter and read with my own eyes. It’s true…Suri wrote it…but how come she know I met Haru? Is this miracle or what? I’m confused. Suri…are you really watching me from there? How come you know about it? I’m sorry Suri.

Flashback

Kai 2010

“Ermm Kai…you have name for our kid?” Suri asking me while she looked at the kid’s name in the book that she bought.

“I have. If a boy … I want to name him “Luhan.” As I said look into her.

“But what’s with that name? Luhan? Is not even in this book Kai.” Suri keep her eyes into the book looking is there any name Luhan inside the book.

“You won’t find Luhan name inside there Suri. It’s Chinese name.. I have a friend who is mixed Chinese and Korean. He is my childhood friends but we split when he want to go study oversea. Luhan means “deer in the dawn”.

“Oh that’s weird Kai. If a girl?” Suri asking me showed her hazel chocolate eyes.

“Em..Haru?” I said to her and makes her move her head to the book that she hold.

“Haru? Emmm… “ A Day”..that’s good name but why must Haru?” Suri asking me.

“Nothing..just want to name our kid “Haru” means every day I will think about her.” I said to Suri.

“Em…oh really. I hope you meant it Kai. Not because of her? Your first love? Lee Haru?”

“Suri…please don’t start with it. I really hope that every day I will think about our kid if we put a name Haru. I meant it Suri.”

That flashback just popped into my head. Suri….you still remember Haru? My first love? I’m sorry Suri because you always act nothing happen since we get married even though you know my heart always with Haru. Thanks Suri for always understand my feeling and I’m really sorry for whatever thing I have done to you. And thanks for giving me a great daughter that so smart like you. I’m sorry Suri…..

Have you seen Hindustan movie? Kuch Kuch Hota Hai..that movie daughter read her mum's letter to her on her birthday..so my stories same like this but the ending a bit different. In this chapter, I decided to put Kai's stories a little bit and his daughter, Kim Haru. You know when I create Kai's daughter character... I just smile because I imagine how Kai's future daughter will be looks like. 

Hope that you enjoy reading my stories and do leave a comment.

And hope that you keep on praying for MAH370. It's day 7 already and still no news. Hope for the safety for all of them.