A little angel

School of Rumble!!

 

you guys laid down on the bed then suddenly fell asleep your head was against chunjis' shoulder and you were hugging his arm tightly

chunjis' hand was holding your hand then you were suddenly awakened by a door bell.You and Chunji woke up surprised that you were hugging each other 

you quickly got up then went straight outside you opened the door, "annyeonghasseyo.." it was a little girl with pale white skin and it looks like she's lost 

 

(you):" ahh annyeonghasseyo uhmm why are you here?"

(yerin): " uhmm unnie i'm lost i don't know where my mom is can you help me?"

(you):" ohh come inside its snowing you might catch a cold "

(yerin):" thank you unnie "

(you):" sit down over there i'll just get something "

(yerin):" okay "

you went into chunji's room to tell him about the girl 

(chunji):" who was the one ringing the door bell?"

(you):" it's a little girl oppa she said she was lost so i let her in because it started to snow outside "

(chunji):" where is she now? "

(you):" in the living room "

then you guys came to the living room you noticed the girl has a bag with her and she was neatly dressed 

her hair was braided, it is also long and it's color brown she's like an angel that was sent to you 

(chunji):" yah~_____-ah are you sure this is a human being she looks like  a little doll"

(you):" yahh~ oppa i'm sure about that, wait till you hear her voice "

 

Yerin's P.O.V 

"what's taking unnie so long? i wish i find omma soon enough i don't want her to worry about me "

unnie is so beautiful i hope she has a kind heart and help me find my mom...

 

(yerin):" ahh~ unnie there you are i thought you aren't going to come back "

(you):" uhmm excuse me can i ask your name so i can address you properly?"

(yerin):" ahh my name is yerin, kim yerin "

(you):" ahhh okay uhmm yerin-ah my name is _____, Shin _____ and this is lee chanhee he is my friend "

(chunji):" hi yerin! i'm lee chanhee but you can call me chunji oppa "

(yerin):" thank you for your kindness _____ unnie and chunji oppa "

(you):" so yerin do you remember where you and your mom were before you parted?"

(yerin):" we were at the park near incheon station omma told me to just stay there and don't go anywhere she told me that

she will just buy something across the street, i followed mom then i saw her in the alley there were three men surrounding her

then i saw one of them hit omma then put her inside a van then the van drove away i tried to call for help but the sales lady at the store scolded me 

and told me to be quiet. . . . then i ran and ran until i got tired then saw this house and rang the door bell "

(chunji):" that's so sad do you know your mom's name? "

(yerin):" her name is kim soo rin "

(you):" we better go to the police station and report this "

(chunji):" yah~ ____-ah we have to think twice before we do that we don't know why her mom was kidnapped by those men "

(you):" maybe your right, but we can't just sit here and do nothing... ahh yerin-ah we'll just talk in the room for a minute ok?"

(yerin):" ahh okay"

 

you went in the room with chunji then talked to him about yerin 

 

(you):" yah! so what are we gonna do with her now? Don't tell me we're gonna raise her "

(chunji):" we won't raise her literally we'll just take care of her until we find her mom "

(you):" what if we never find her mom what if she, you know dies?"

(chunji):" yah don't say that we'll find her mom,i hope we will "

(you):" i kinda pity yerin because she's so young for her not to have a mom, and the fact that she saw her mom being kidnapped is pretty harsh "

(chunji):" yeah i also pity her but for now all we can do is care for her "

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Comments

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sensationoflove
#1
I hope chunji remember L.Joe was the little boy he known few years back & be friends again! :) Omg, update soon!!
sensationoflove
#2
update soon!! :)
chunjioppa
#3
P.S the title of the anime is school rumble :))
chunjioppa
#4
heheh i know the anime but i haven't watched it actually :DD
pseudonym-ous
#5
Well, it isn't really that original, cause I think I have watched an anime quite similar to this one. I can't really remember the title of the anime, all I remember is that there's a word "Rumble" in it.<br />
But I still love your story though ^^
LyssaLynn
#6
<br />
First impression: Ok, to be honest I don’t know what to think! Is this a play? If so then…I don’t know how to review this];<br />
But if you’re not going for a play…I’d trying using a different format like:<br />
On the way to school<br />
I glance at my watch, and nearly scream before running out the door and into the garage. I frantically search for my key; I found it thank the heavens I did. I put the key in the ignition and start driving.<br />
“Ahhh!!! Jinha?! I’m so late!!” I nearly fall of my motorcycle from my screaming. I’m about to cross through the intersection when the light turns red.<br />
“Jinaj?! Why now; why did you stupid light just become red??!!!” I look around to see if any cops are around. There wasn’t so I sped through the intersection.<br />
See how that adds body and description? And I noticed that your writing in second point of view (when you use ‘you’ ) I really don’t like reading second point of view it gives me headaches that’s why I typed it in first point of view (when you use ‘I’)<br />
Title: the title reminds of that anime…umm…School Rumble! And the description of it sounds like the show to…:/<br />
Flow: a bit cluttered because of the play format, unless this is a play…eh…<br />
Overall: I think it’s a cute and funny. I’ll definitely be reading more!~<br />
i'mma subcribe!~<br />
~~Mi Sun
pseudonym-ous
#7
Hey there!!!<br />
I like your story ^^<br />
It's really cute and quite original. I haven't read a story similar to this kind of story. Most stories that I read are mostly similar to one another. You know, same plot, same love life, etc.. But this one's different. In a good way of course. It's original and I like it very much. I hope to see you update soon ^^<br />
Hwaiting!!!!<br />
LOVE,<br />
your 2nd subscriber and the first one to comment :]