Yongguk: Chapter 13
Ephemeral
A sharp sound pierces the air, and you and Yongguk look around curiously, wondering what it is. He realizes it's his phone and, letting go of your hand, takes it out of his pocket and brings it to his ear.
"Hello?" A pause. "Oh. Himchan. How are you?" You observe Yongguk's face as his eyes brighten with guilty surprise. "Wait. Is it ... what time is it?" He glances at you, and you shrug in response. "Himchan. I'm so sorry. Do you want me to go ... no? I can go. I can go right now, really, I - " he sighs and shakes his head, rubbing a tired hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I really am. I lost track of time and ... yes. I'm with her." He looks at you again, his eyes incomprehensible. "Wait, Himchan, it's not like that," Yongguk attempts to assure his best friend. "Tomorrow ... is that alright? I promise. I really ... I keep my promises, Himchan." He kicks a pebble on the ground, watching it as it scatters across the pavement. "Alright. Yeah. Bye."
"Is everything okay?" You ask him, cocking your head in concern. Yongguk scratches the back of his head, making a face at nothing as he contemplates your question.
"I was a douche and forgot that Himchan and I were supposed to go out today. I didn't even realize it. It's lunch time." He stares at the screen of his phone regretfully.
"Were you going to ... go on a man date?" You joke lightly, trying to lift the mood.
"We were supposed to do some ... errands," he finishes. Errands? Oh ... his 'bucket' list.
"You can go," you tell him, not wanting to be the reason for his tardiness. "I don't mind. I had fun with what we did today ... "
"No, Himchan is in a bad mood," He laughs dryly. "The atmosphere wouldn't be good. It's fine. I don't want to think about that right now." He continues to walk again, and you follow a step behind him. "I just feel that sometimes ... you know, this whole errand thing - "
"You don't like it?" You guess.
"I like it," he says. "I do. It's just that lately, it's been ... reminding me. And I don't want to be reminded. You know, I was okay. With dying. It wasn't easy, but, I was okay. I grew to be okay. But lately ... " he gives you a side look, the tentative smile gracing his lips making you feel entirely too exposed. " ... it's been getting harder."
Your gaze travels to his hand, where it lays by his side, swinging by its lonesome. You feel the urge to hold his hand just then, hold it like he had held yours. You try to suppress the feeling, the impulse, because, what would Yongguk think of you? But you realize, no, he wouldn't think anything. He wouldn't judge. Because like he's said over and over and over again, he can't afford to act like that.
Forgetting your better judgements, you reach out and grasp his hand, passing your fingers around his, feeling that rough skin come in contact with your palm. He looks at you in surprise, but instead of saying anything, or pulling back, he just squeezes your hand assuringly, as if you are the one w
Comments