My Moon - Part 1

 

 

I was born during a winter, under the sign of the ox. Heaven blessed me. It was a time of great peace, and my family was not a really rich one but you can't feel too sorry for us, we had a roof and plenty of food. As a famous poet wrote :

“Drifting, drifting,

what am I more than

A single gull

between sky and earth ?”

If I do not make memories of my life, will someome remember what happened ?

I will call this ''My moon'', don't ask me why, read the explanation here by yourself. Sadly, it's my first time writing something like this, and I did not complete my studies, so don't expect an incredible work. My writing is not really skillful but I write to express true events and feelings.

 

When I was younger, I was destined to be married to a young girl from the neighbourhood, but she died when she was seven. It was caused by a serious illness that affected her family. When I was older I did my best to be away to arranged mariage.

Eventually, I met Jaejoong. He was the adopted son of the girl's family. Even while he was young, he was clever. Jaejoong's adoptive father died from the same illness as the little girl, leaving his brother alone with him. At first, they lost everything, but Jaejoong grew older and he did a lot of little works and labours to provide for his little family. Thank to the money he made, they were able to afford to pay for his older brother's lessons.

One day, when Jaejoong was cleaning the house he found an interesting book in the guest room, book wich might be one of his brother. He began to read it and step by step he learned how to write poetry.

 

When I was sixteen, my mother took me along on a visit to that family. That was the first time I met Jaejoong, and we, both young, got on so well together. I had a chance to see his poems that day, and while reading one of them, I was amazed by him but also quite scared that he might not be happy in his life... How sensitive he appeared to be... I could not forget him and I remembered saying to my mother “If you are going to meet his family again, do not forget to take me along with you.”

Mom also loved his gentleness, she even give him a little ring that he quickly threaded on a leather string to create a necklace.

That winter, mother took me again to their house, for the mariage of Jaejoong's brother. Jaejoong and I were born in the same year but he was a few days older than me so we had always used nicknames.

At the wedding party, the room was full of beautifully dressed people. I remember seeing Jaejoong in borrowed clothes only his collar seemed different. I noticed he was always touching his collar so delicately and when he told me that he had done it himself I began to appreciate him even more.

Jaejoong had delicate shoulders and his skin was so white and smooth. His only flaw was that he was so beautiful that people sometimes were confused and believed he was a girl and this can be interpreted as a sign of misfortune for a man. But he was so charming and he could captivated all who saw him.

I asked to see more of his poems that day, and found that most of them were unfinished. I didn't wait to ask him why.

“Nobody help me” he replied with a cute laugh. “I hope that you, my bestfriend, you can be my teacher and help me finish all of them.” He smiled so beautifully, I could only said yes, that one day, we will finish to write all of them.

That night, I was terribly hungry and there was not enough food to eat for all the people there. Jaejoong secretly took me to his room and show me some hidden dishes of food. He gave me chopsticks that I delightedly picked them but suddenly Jaejoong's brother called him “Jae, come here !” Jaejoong quickly and noiselessly shut the door but we heard him call again then suddenly he opened the door and came in the room. He then saw me eating and he smirked, looking out of the corner of his eyes at Jaejoong.

“Oh... hidding like that. Well...” the man suddenly shouted “Oh sad is that. Jaejoong how can you prefer Yunho over me, your brother ?”

Jaejoong was terribly embarrassed and he ran out. I remember seeing his cheeks turning red and hearing some people laughing at this annoying scenery. It made me quite embarrassed too.

 

Months later, I could see, by the light of a lantern, that Jaejoong's face was even more thin than before. We were sitting on the grass of a vast plain, looking at the night sky. After we shared a cup of homemade wine, I secretly took his small hand behind our backs like I was afraid that the moon was staring at us and would denounce us. His hand was warm and soft, my heart beat uncontrollaby.

He looked at me and then, I broke the silence and asked him :

“Can I...Since our lips are stained by the same wine, can you give me a little kiss ?” His eyes smiled with amusement, his head nodded and our lips finally touched.

 

I had the chance to buy a little house, near a river, and it became a place where Jaejoong and me could secretly meet.

One night, when I returned to my little house to meet my lover, the house was silent and there was no light. I entered quietly into my bedroom to find him sitting beside the bed. A candle burned brightly beside him , he was bent intently over a book, reading with a lot of concentration. I approched him and rubbed his hair. “Why are you reading this late? You will hurt your eyes with the contrast between the light and the darkness.”

Jaejoong turned his face to me and stood up. “I was thinking of going to sleep because I was tired, but I decided not to because I wanted to see you tonight. Is that bad ? Reading make me forget that I am tired. The author of this book is really talented, he took care of each words he used to narrate his story.”

I laughed and I thought that only a talented writer could see that.

We spoke a little, like two friends meeting after a long time. I playfully touched his chest and found that his heart was beating as fast as mine. I pulled him to me and whispered in his left ear, “Why is your heart beating so fast ?” He didn't answer but he smiled and his cheeks quickly became as red as tomatoes. His smile made me feel good, it shook my soul and my heart. I held him so close to me as I closed the curtains and led us to the bed.

Jaejoong was very talkative to me but when anyone else spoke to him, he always replied with short sentences and with a smile. He was always respectful to the elders and amiable to everyone. Everything that he did was done properly and with care. Each morning, when he saw the first rays of the sun, he would dress quickly and hurry out at his house, to do some works. Once, I said to him “Why are you doing this? You don't need to pay for your brother's lessons anymore. And if you need money... I had always said that you can simply ask me.”

But he replied to me “True. But I'm worried. We are men and we will never be engaged together. What will I do when your parents will order you to marry someone else ? I need to work... Yunie.”

I had to agree that he was right. One day, my parents would order me to marry a woman. So every morning, I decided to get up early too and to go to his house to help him. I became like his shadow and when his eyes met mine, I knew that words could not describe our love.

We were so happy and months passed in the twinkling of an eye. My dad became a honourable worker of the emperor, he got an official title that he had always dreamed of. One day, I received a letter from him and he wrote in that letter that he paid a teacher for me in a place that is quite far to my house.