Hi !

To tell you the truth, I'm not satisfied with this chapter...I don't know, I don't really feel like writing this days. I'm still glad to have new comments and new subscribers. Lot of love. 

-Jul'

My Moon – Part 4

 

 

 

It was the beginning of the evening, the sun finally decided to go down. There was a little breeze near the water, and the songs of insects were everywhere. We were there to fish in the deep shadow of the green trees but when the sun was going down, we climbed to the top of a rock to admire the twilight. We made up improvised poems there. After a while, when only the moonlight was lightening the place and when the songs of animals became stronger, we went back home and we sat on the bed. We drank wine, looking through the window at the moon, until we were a little tipsy. We fanned ourself with leaves, lay down and listened to the stories of eachother. At three o'clock we went to sleep, we felt cool, it was like there weren't problems.

 

The following evening, Wangwu and my mom came to my house. They were there to meet me and were quite pleased to see Jaejoong there. My mom kept talking about the beauty of a young girl in the city, saying she was noble and perfect for me. Afterwards Jaejoong whispered to himself : « She certainly is pretty but might not be charming. »

My mom heard it and reacted quickly « So for you, a woman had to be charming as well as beautiful. You know, it's already late for you Jaejoong to be married and it will be difficult to find someone because of the illness that touch your family.... I mean, look, right in front of you a girl is fascinated by you. My Wangwu is going to marry you. »

I didn't know how to react. I just closed my eyes. This moment seemed to be a déjà vu. It was like I was prepared for that... I knew it because the words of Wangwu days ago seemed honest. Jaejoong get up on his feet and kindly said we had things to do. My mon smiled and answered that a serious talk had to be done and she and my sister left the room. From then one, Jaejoong was obsessed with the idea of finding me a wife, saying he will only marry someone if I am married first. He said he would prefer if he liked the woman that I would marry. We couldn't run away.

 

There was a noble girl from the city called Liyen that Jaejoong liked. She had written many poems and many famous poets wrote nice letters and poems to her. I was planning to take Jae on a visit to the mountain, when he suddenly stopped me.

« Today, I invite you to follow me, you have to admire a beautiful flower. »

Jaejoong took me to Liyen's home. Liyen, who was not yet fully mature, was as pretty as a artwork. Her eyes were lovely and while she talked it became obvious she had knowledges. At first I wanted to chat with her but Jaejoong couldn't get out of my head. I knew that a man would accept to marry her, but I wasn't really ready for that. I began to feel nervous and I did my best to not show my unease in the conversation. The status of my father became quite high at that time so for this girl it was a good deal to marry me.

We went back home after some games and talk and by the time we arrived at my house it was already dark outside.

«I invited Liyen to come and see you tomorrow, so you can try to arrange things for you »

« But I don't really want, she is pretty but you're prettier. She is clever but less than you. »

I shouldn't say that. I had to be happy that Jaejoong search someone for me... but I couldn't.

«I love her, your mom will love her. » Jaejoong said, smiling. He didn't really love her... I knew he said this to make me feel good. His smile was fake, I know he was mad inside but if he said something else, things would be worse. I was powerless, it would be best if I follow him.

 

The next day, Liyen actually came with her mom. Jaejoong welcomed them warmly and during the meal we played a few games. By the end of the meal, still not a word had been said about me marrying the girl. My lover and the women started to talk together. I only listened to what they said, making no reply. Liyen was looking at me shyly, and her mom seemed happy. She suddenly turned her face to me and gave me a bracelet.

«Give it to your mom and say to her that this is a token of our understanding. The difficult part will be convicing your mother but I will think a plan for that. Say to her that I need a little talk with her. »

There was not a day that Jaejoong did not talk about Liyen but later she was taken off by a more powerful man. All the plans came to nothing.

 

Jaejoong had a sickness. We weren't aware of that at first. He was so anxious lately and had fallen ill himself. I comforted him repeatedly. My lover began to be bedridden and did not repond to the first treatments. He became so thin that you could see his bones.

At that time, my mother said I had to return to see my teacher. But I couldn't let Jaejoong alone like that. I was angry, she didn't want to listen to what I said. And she was acting rudely towards Jaejoong now that he was ill.

« Jung Yunho ! How can you.... ? Go NOW or your life will be a nightmare, I promise you. On top of that, I didn't tell you but the wedding between that pitiful Jaejoong and Wangwu is cancelled. »

«I won't ! I'm not going ! I don't care if you are trying to threaten me or not ! I'm not going ! Let us alone, you dumb woman. »

It was no way to live. Because of that, my family stopped to give me money, and my parents' scorn for Jaejoong deepened daily. After a few months, the money we owed increased daily and so did the gossip about us. I was then without employment so I had opened a shop with the agreement of Jaejoong. I was selling books and paintings but I didn't made a lot of money. I was exhausted by hardships and we often had no money. In the winter, I didn't have money to buy furs. We could only bare the cold, I gave everyting I could to Jaejoong. I bravely denied being cold and he swore to himself he would never spend money to see a doctor.

Jaejoong didn't like to stay in the bed so when he was able to get out, he would glady go out. I didn't like that but I didn't stop him. He was still weak and his illness only worsened. Who would have throught his fate was so bad ! Even the god would not show him some mercy.

 

There was a japanese who had made his living by lending out money at interest. A friend of mine had once borrowed 70 gold from fim and he asked me to be the guarantor. I could only say yes, embarrassed to refuse but he ran away with the loan. I had to repay the japanese man and he came often to demand his money. At first I gave him books and painting but as the time passed, I came to have nothing to gave him.

 

When Jaejoong heard this, he said : « It is all my fault. If I committed suicide and you left home, you could not bear it and If I st.... »

I interrupted him «Escaping this life... It's late but we still could go somewhere else together. »

«So... Blue-Dragon cliff. »

Jaejoong felt a little better at that time, even if I didn't like the idea of him going out by the morning cold, he insisted that we must go quietly at early morning. That night, I first carried a little bagage down to the boat on a shoulder pole and told Jaejoong to sleep a little. My lover had a bitter fate and I would do eveything I could to help him. He probably not be able to fully recover but I wanted to let him admire the Blue-Dragon cliff with me by his side. We didn't have a lot at home but if someone pass by, he could take with him anything else we have left behind. Just before the time of the early morning, we ate some warm dishes. It was bean curd, but I couldn't taste it... Everything seemed to lack flavour.

Jaejoong was laughing « You hate bean curd but now you are eating it. »

As the time finally came, Jaejoong, with tears in his eyes, went out. He was tired and I decided to carry him, we reached the boat while Jaejoong was weeping on my back.