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21 out of 91

It’s been another week.

Another week of twisting and turning in the royal blue sheets that decorated their new mattress. Another week of trying to get use of the awkward atmosphere that engulfed them as they laid beside each other in bed, trying to keep an appropriate distance. Another week of trying to make small changes in their lives that will matter in the long run.

It’s been another week and Baekhyun can confidently say, they’re making small progress.

Baekhyun didn’t expect any of this to be easy. He knew even just changing their mattress wouldn’t put him at ease completely. He knew no matter how soft the sheets he was entangled in, the haunting thoughts would creep up on him again.

His mind would begin to fill with horrible scenarios and thoughts. Just like before every-time he'd come home and lay together in their bed, reasons he avoided months ago when it just got worse. Even now, he silently still preferred being at his office at unruly hours to avoid the night-time and his mind the best he can.

Yet, he knew that wasn't an option anymore. Especially, for the sake of his marriage.

As he laid in bed the voices would fill his head and prevent him from sleeping until he finally took a pill or two to knock himself out. Everyday before returning at a normal time from work, he’d mentally prepare himself for the heavy feelings to come when he'd lay down beside his husband once more. 

But, relationship wise it was getting better for them, slowly. Very slowly.

Hopefully, it stays that way.

“Hey. Sorry if I’m disturbing you while you’re at work.” Baekhyun’s voice ran through the speaker of Chanyeol’s office phone.

The giant blinked out of confusion a few times when he first saw the caller ID blinking on his small screen. He didn’t expect the other to call him.

“No, you didn’t. Are you at your desk right now? You know you shouldn’t-” Chanyeol went to rant that Baekhyun should be distracting himself while being in the middle of work until his husband’s small snort from the other side of the line cut him off.

“No, . I’m on my lunch break right now.”

“Your lunch break? So, as in just eating a sandwich then smoking a cigarette after?”

Baekhyun’s lips curled up into a small smirk, “Well look at that, you know me well after-all.” He teased.

He heard Chanyeol scoff on the other side of the line, “I know you better than you know yourself, trust me.” He played along.

Their conversation consisted of talks of how exhausting work was and Baekhyun complaining about how much work he’d probably have sitting on his desk once he got back because his boss was nothing but a to him, taking advantage of him always offering to stay late as an impression he wanted to work harder and longer. Baekhyun pushed the tip of his burnt-out cigarette against the brick wall he was leaning against, phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder.

“Oh, I suppose I should mention this…” He mumbles as he flicks the of the cigarette onto the ground.

“I’m coming home even earlier tonight than usual.” And that exact proclamation caught Chanyeol’s attention.

“Oh really, what time?” He casually asked, stopping his pen in its tracks along the paper he was signing.

“Most likely around 6.” Baekhyun replied.

“I’ll probably get there an hour before? I’m probably getting left off early today.”

“Let me guess. You’re going to make a cheap takeout run on your way home?” Baekhyun laughed as he pushed his hand into his pocket and began walking back towards his building. Most of the time, the couple was too exhausted to cook dinner at home.

So cheap take-out from their old high school friend Jongdae’s small restaurant not far from their apartment was typically their option for dinner.

“Oh, come on. Who knows maybe I’ll surprise you?” He teased the other. “Yeah alright,” He spoke with a sarcastic tone and light chuckle following after, “I’ll see you when I get home alright?” It didn’t take long for them to bid their goodbyes and and Chanyeol's finger lingering over the end call button pressing against it.

Leaving their conversation off on a good note and a grinning giant with a plan for a surprise.

Placing the newly bought magnolias in the middle of the table of his cliché movie dinner set up, he couldn’t help but feel pretty proud of himself.

Chanyeol decided for once after weeks of being buried in take-out food to cook for them at home. And not going to lie, he was pretty good at cooking out of the two of them.

Baekhyun didn’t bother trying to cook again after their meatloaf incident in 2016. Which resulted in him almost burning their apartment down. So, it wasn’t exactly something he’s trying to do again. So, it pretty much lead Chanyeol to be the chief of the household.Yet, despite wanting to make a fancy dinner. He knew they were still short on cash due to the mattress just bought. He opted for the cheapest yet fancy meal he could think of for their budget, Spaghetti. Throwing in salad, breadsticks, and some cheesy white candles in there as well to make up for the lack of richness behind it. He figured it was good enough for their situation now.

Baekhyun would understand.

Setting up their dining table making sure not to forget a single thing out as he watches 5:50 roll around on the clock. Indicating, his husband would be here soon.

Chanyeol was nervous. Not because he didn’t think he did anything nice. Not because he was worried he wouldn’t be ready completely while Baekhyun arrived home. But because he feared the reaction he’d get out of the smaller.

He didn’t want to push things on him or rush their situation which they mutually agreed to go slow about. Yet, it didn’t stop his head from coming up with all these ideas to treat Baekhyun how he deserves.

Drowning in his thought, it came to his mind that this was their first small date since the affair was revealed. And that thought alone made him even more nervous to the point he almost didn’t hear the keys unlocking their front door. Chanyeol swiftly turned around to be met with his husband’s face, the light from the candles Chanyeol lit and placed on the table shining in his dark orbs as he looked around at the set-up curiously.

He could have sworn he saw a small hint of a smile on Baekhyun’s lips.

Baekhyun chuckled, “What is this all for?” He spoke as he placed his bag down on the floor, gazing over the cheesy dinner set-up.

“Nothing. Just something special, for the both of us.” The taller replied.

His eyes fell upon the bright magnolias in the centerpiece of the table. Reaching his hand out to brush his fingertips over the soft petals lightly.

“Magnolias as well?” He looked away from the flowers and up at the taller. “Just as bright as the boutonnière ones from our wedding. Which, I knew you loved.” Chanyeol completed his sentence.

“Of course, I loved them. I picked them out myself.” He replied, giving a sly smile to the other.

Chanyeol laughed, “Yeah, yeah. Just sit down.” He pulled out the chair and let the other sit down before he did.

He watched as Baekhyun looked down at the food then back at the other. Chanyeol was relieved his husband wasn’t mad at what he set-up but a part of him was still nervous about the food aspect of their small dinner date.

“Ah, this is really sweet of you. Even if it is cliché and dorky, I know it came from you.” Baekhyun complimented the other, hoping the diming of the room lights and yellow glow of the candles would hide the light blush on his cheeks.

Baekhyun noticed Chanyeol was tense ever since we walked in the door. Frankly, he couldn’t blame him. He knows they’ve been surrounded by nothing but awkward silences for many periods of times despite things slowly getting better. It was still hard on both ends to put 100% into this relationship especially now. As well, Baekhyun knows how much his mood can flip flop because of his head. Which, he’s trying his best to control on his own for now. But, he can say the dinner helped quiet the voices down in his head that were provoking him on his ride home.

Ever since earlier after the phone call, his mind has been filled with worry. He worried he annoyed the other with the sudden call during work. He worried maybe it be too much to talk during his whole break seeing Chanyeol was in the middle of paperwork.

But this put all those emotions and bursts of over-thinking to the side for now.

Baekhyun continued, “and that’s all that matters to me.”

22 out of 91

” So how are the lists going?” Minseok questioned the two as he leaned against his desk.

Honestly, to the two of them this felt like two students checking back in with their teacher about a group project their doing instead of a marriage counselling assignment, but you know whatever floats Minseok’s boat and helps save their marriage is fine with them.

“Fine so far.” Chanyeol kept it short with the therapist as Baekhyun caught on to the conversation.

“We’ve only so far marked one thing on each of our lists so far, but I think that’s good progress, right?” Baekhyun commented as Minseok looked over their lists, eyes scanning over where Baekhyun crossed out the two numbers on each list with a thin line of purple pen.

“I see.” He placed the lists down on his desk and looked back at the couple, “So you’ve accomplished sleeping in the same bed together. Which leads me on to another topic,”

“When was the last time you’ve been on a date together?”

The question mind-boggled the two for a moment. Truthfully, not including their little dinner at home last night they haven’t been on a date in many months.

“I mean we did have a nice at home dinner last night. But if you’re talking like an actual date where we go out? Then…it’s been a while.” Chanyeol breathlessly chuckled towards the end of his sentence.

“Well, maybe that’s the exact thing you should work on next.” Minseok offered.

Baekhyun’s body tensed a bit at the thought, “Don’t you think it might be too soon?”

“Mm, seeing you’ve decided to go out of order and accomplished sleeping in bed together again, I don’t think it be too hard for you guys to achieve.” Minseok continued, “But if you’re genuinely not ready, then you don’t have to.”

Baekhyun racked his brain around the thought. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to go out on a public, bigger date like they did in the past. Things were different now.

They weren’t the same unlike back then but, he’d be lying if a part of him wasn’t yearning to do something even more date wise with his husband especially after sweet dinner the other night. Baekhyun looked down, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. He was conflicted with his feelings. Whether going blindly into the dark of this idea and just seeing how it goes or completely denying the idea but lose a chance that could probably be the right opportunity for this?

He felt Chanyeol’s doe orbs staring at him for a moment until a sigh surpassed his lips.

“Minseok, I don’t think we’re ready fo- “He started to say until Baekhyun, who finally snapped out his thought process spoke up, cutting him off.

“No. I’ll do it. I think- I think we’re ready for it.”

Despite the outcome of this being 50/50, the other option look like it has about the same outcome for it. He will never know what could have been unless he tries it and that’s exactly what he wants to do. Also, he feels Chanyeol deserves something a little sweet too after the cute stunt he pulled on him for dinner.

“And actually...” Baekhyun looks over at the other whose expression is covered in surprise and confusion,

“I have the perfect idea of where to go.” A small smile spreading across his lips.