SOUL THREE - JIMIN

I hate buses. So many people and everyone is invading your personal space. Sometimes it freaks me so much that I have to get out of the vehicle and go by foot. The press of stranger’s bodies reminds me my past too painfully.

My mother was a . Not just by her behaviour but by her job too. One day of her clients made her pregnant. So I was born in dirty hospital for poor and I stayed poor for long years. We lived in Busan in tiny flat with only one room. She didn’t pay education for me so I spent all days outside in parks and playgrounds. We had only one bed so when my mother had clients she easily laid me in closet. It was dark and I could have only listened the sounds of . It seems horrible but what comes next is even worst. Mother got some disease and no client wanted her. After such long years when she didn’t pay me any attention, she suddenly remembered that she has child. I was nine when she brought my first client. You would be shocked by number of men who wanted to child. It hurt so much that I have passed out during my first time but with years it didn’t hurt so much and I got used to it. One day when I was fifteen my client was too rough and I ended with ripped rectum. You can’t imagine the pain and how much I bleed. Mother left me on ground and after few hours she dumped me on street. I was laying almost and bleed badly and soon I passed out. When I woke up again I was in white room in bed with clean sheets. Our old bed didn’t have sheets so I knew that I am not back. I was in hospital. Doctor fixed me as much as they could have but my rectum still isn’t healthy. Then I remembered how Namjoon came and spoke with me about my past and future. I didn’t have education or any other relatives so he offered me to live with him and his partners. Once in my life I was lucky.

Now I have my own room, clean clothes, proper food and loving family. I even have brothers and we help each other. I am studying modern dance and ballet and one time some guys from our art school tried to bully me. Luckily my brother Jungkook is in same art school as me, he is studying to become manga drawer. Kookie is like bunny on steroids and he beat my bullies in matter of seconds, now no one has the courage to bully me because they know that my bro will beat the out of them. Though I am protected by Kookie, I am sometimes too scared to leave my room. When I have these panic attacks I feel like someone is touching me and that everyone is starring at me and whispering insults to me. I am have low self-confidence and I feel that I am not good enough to breath the air, like I am just waste of space. And because of it I have problems with eating but Seokjin always force me to eat and check my weight every week.

Today I got up and I am feeling fine. I get dressed in black leather skinny jeans, black shirt and denim jacket. Yes, today is going to be good day. I went downstairs for breakfast and see that Hoseok is still sleeping and Yoongi is playing on the piano in his room. He is really good and he even composed few songs for my dance performances but he is too cold and always locked in his room. Jungkook is awake and gave me his wide bunny smile. I frown when I see milk and cereals on the table. Seokjin cooks every day so where is our warm breakfast? I hear some weird sounds from upstairs and suddenly there is the new boy – Taehyung - standing in the living room. He is really weird, he doesn’t talk or act like human. Seokjin lifted him from ground and tries to sit the boy on chair but he doesn’t want to and squirmed away. He is now hiding in corner of the kitchen and cautiously watch us. Yoongi, Hoseok, Jungkook and me eat breakfast in the kitchen and Namjoon took the boy to the living room. I am chewing my cereals when the boy starts to scream. The screaming is reminding me how I was screaming when the random men were me. I jumped from my chair and go to see what they are doing to him. Namjoon is holding Taehyung on couch and Seokjin is cutting his long dirty fingernails. If they aren’t hurting him why is he screaming so much? I am crying because I remember how I screamed and cried when they were abusing me. Seokjin hugs me and pushed me into Yoongi’s room. I am hiccupping and Yoongi is rubbing circles on my back and ensure me that no one is going to hurt me. This always calms me down, his deep sleepy voice. When I am calm enough I go back and see Taehyung sleeping on couch. Start of morning was good but now I don’t feel like I can leave safety of our house.

Seokjin's POV

I am so proud of Jimin, he overcame his fear and got on Korean National University of Arts. He is great dancer and I have never missed his performance and I am always the first who is applauding. But he still has some problems and I need to pay attention if he is eating properly. Taking care of Taehyung is hard but I know that it will be better. He is in worse state than another boys but with enough time and love I can change it. And today we are doing first step to see how much broke he is, I am taking him to hospital. My friend Junmyeon is doctor and all our boys know him. It is time for Jimin’s regular check up too because he still has problems with his rectum. After the horror of cutting Taehyung’s nails I let him sleep and go to find some clothes for him. I will need to go to mall or something because he needs clothes and some more things for his room. After another hour I gently wake him up and Jimin comes ready too. I am fighting to get Taehyung in car and then to keep him in car, but he doesn’t know how to unfasten his seatbelt. He is stressed out just from the car ride, so I am thinking about not taking him to the doctor, but I promised to Namjoon that Junmyeon will see him. I almost have to drag him outside, but the right horror is in the doctor’s office. Taehyung is screaming in moment when Junmyeon wants to touch him and hides under the desk. We are sitting, shocked and don’t know what to do. Junmyeon forced himself to smile and nodded to Jimin.

“So Jimin how are you feeling, any problems or pain?”

Jimin is on edge of tears and nods.

“It still hurt sometimes so I don’t want to eat much meat because then it hurt more.”

Junmyeon writes prescription for something to soften his stool and then examine him. Jimin is okay and now is Taehyung’s turn but he is still hiding under the table. I and Junmyeon try to coax him to go from under the desk but he only pushed himself further from us. Taehyung is crying and hugging his knees, so we go away from him to give him space. But Jimin surprise us. He got up from his seat and slowly crawled under the table next to Taehyung. Jimin hold his hand and whispered something in his ear. Taehyung slowly stops crying and together they crawled from under the table. Jimin helps him to sit on stretcher and sit next to him. Junmyeon can finally examine him and then told us the results.

“Taehyung is malnourished and has many scars and bruises. I will call you the results of blood test later.”

“Why he doesn’t speak?”

“He is selectively mute, but it can be fixed. In loving and safe environment he will start to speak again.”

I nodded and we can go home. On way home I stopped in McDonalds because I am too tired and I have headache from the screaming. Moreover Taehyung can eat with fingers and doesn’t need to stress with cutlery. Jimin is sitting next to me and I his fluffy hair.

“I am really proud and thankful for what you did in the doctor office.”

Jimin smiles and I have to hug my good boy.